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and me�察�and there we were formally sold to him�察�and went
ashore with him。 The captain went with us�察�and carried us to
a certain house�察�whether it was to be called a tavern or not I
know not�察�but we had a bowl of punch there made of rum�察�etc。�察�
and were very merry。 After some time the planter gave us a
certificate of discharge�察�and an acknowledgment of having
served him faithfully�察�and we were free from him the next
morning�察�to go wither we would。
For this piece of service the captain demanded of us six
thousand weight of tabacco�察�which he said he was accountable
for to his freighter�察�and which we immediately bought for him�察�
and made him a present of twenty guineas besides�察�with which
he was abundantly satisfied。
It is not proper to enter here into the particulars of what part
of the colony of Virginia we settled in�察�for divers reasons�察�it
may suffice to mention that we went into the great river
Potomac�察�the ship being bound thither�察�and there we intended
to have settled first�察�though afterwards we altered our minds。
The first thing I did of moment after having gotten all our
goods on shore�察�and placed them in a storehouse�察�or warehouse�察�
which�察�with a lodging�察�we hired at the small place or village
where we landedI say�察�the first thing was to inquire after my
mother�察�and after my brother ��that fatal person whom I married
as a husband�察�as I have related at large��。 A little inquiry
furnished me with information that Mrs。�察�that is�察�my mother�察�
was dead�察�that my brother ��or husband�� was alive�察�which I
confess I was not very glad to hear�察�but which was worse�察�I
found he was removed from the plantation where he lived
formerly�察�and where I lived with him�察�and lived with one of
his sons in a plantation just by the place where we landed�察�
and where we had hired a warehouse。
I was a little surprised at first�察�but as I ventured to satisfy
myself that he could not know me�察�I was not only perfectly
easy�察�but had a great mind to see him�察�if it was possible to so
do without his seeing me。 In order to that I found out by
inquiry the plantation where he lived�察�and with a woman of
that place whom I got to help me�察�like what we call a chairwoman�察�
I rambled about towards the place as if I had only a mind to
see the country and look about me。 At last I came so near that
I saw the dwellinghouse。 I asked the woman whose plantation
that was�察�she said it belonged to such a man�察�and looking out
a little to our right hands�察�'there��' says she�察�is the gentleman
that owns the plantation�察�and his father with him。' 'What are
their Christian names��' said I。 'I know not��' says she�察�'what
the old gentleman's name is�察�but the son's name is Humphrey�察�
and I believe��' says she�察�'the father's is so too。' You may
guess�察�if you can�察�what a confused mixture of joy and fight
possessed my thoughts upon this occasion�察�for I immediately
knew that this was nobody else but my own son�察�by that father
she showed me�察�who was my own brother。 I had no mask�察�
but I ruffled my hood so about my face�察�that I depended upon
it that after above twenty years' absence�察�and withal not
expecting anything of me in that part of the world�察�he would
not be able to know anything of me。 But I need not have used
all that caution�察�for the old gentleman was grown dim´sighted
by some distemper which had fallen upon his eyes�察�and could
but just see well enough to walk about�察�and not run against a
tree or into a ditch。 The woman that was with me had told me
that by a mere accident�察�knowing nothing of what importance
it was to me。 As they drew near to us�察�I said�察�'Does he know
you�察�Mrs。 Owen��' ��so they called the woman��。 'Yes��' said
she�察�'if he hears me speak�察�he will know me�察�but he can't see
well enough to know me or anybody else'�察�and so she told me
the story of his sight�察�as I have related。 This made me secure�察�
and so I threw open my hoods again�察�and let them pass by me。
It was a wretched thing for a mother thus to see her own son�察�
a handsome�察�comely young gentleman in flourishing
circumstances�察�and durst not make herself known to him�察�and
durst not take any notice of him。 Let any mother of children
that reads this consider it�察�and but think with what anguish of
mind I restrained myself�察�what yearnings of soul I had in me
to embrace him�察�and weep over him�察�and how I thought all my
entrails turned within me�察�that my very bowels moved�察�and I
knew not what to do�察�as I now know not how to express those
agonies� �When he went from me I stood gazing and trembling�察�
and looking after him as long as I could see him�察�then sitting
down to rest me�察�but turned from her�察�and lying on my face�察�
wept�察�and kissed the ground that he had set his foot on。
I could not conceal my disorder so much from the woman but
that she perceived it�察�and thought I was not well�察�which I was
obliged to pretend was true�察�upon which she pressed me to rise�察�
the ground being damp and dangerous�察�which I did accordingly�察�
and walked away。
As I was going back again�察�and still talking of this gentleman
and his son�察�a new occasion of melancholy offered itself thus。
The woman began�察�as if she would tell me a story to divert me�此 �
'There goes��' says she�察�'a very odd tale among the neighbours
where this gentleman formerly live。' 'What was that��' said
I。 'Why��' says she�察�'that old gentleman going to England�察�
when he was a young man�察�fell in love with a young lady there�察�
one of the finest women that ever was seen�察�and married her�察�
and brought her over hither to his mother who was then living。
He liver here several years with her��' continued she�察�'and had
several children by her�察�of which the young gentleman that was
with him now was one�察�but after some time�察�the old gentlewoman�察�
his mother�察�talking to her of something relating to herself when
she was in England�察�and of her circumstances in England�察�
which were bad enough�察�the daughter´in´law began to be very
much surprised and uneasy�察�and�察�in short�察�examining further
into things�察�it appeared past all contradiction that the old
gentlewoman was her own mother�察�and that consequently that
son was his wife's own brother�察�which struck the whole family
with horror�察�and put them into such confusion that it had almost
ruined them all。 The young woman would not live with him�察�
the son�察�her brother and husband�察�for a time went distracted�察�
and at last the young woman went away for England�察�and has
never been hears of since。'
It is easy to believe that I was strangely affected with this story�察�
but 'tis impossible to describe the nature of my disturbance。 I
seemed astonished at the story�察�and asked her a thousand
questions about the particulars�察�which I found she was
thoroughly acquainted with。 At last I began to inquire into the
circumstances of the family�察�how the old gentlewoman�察�I mean
my mother�察�died�察�and how she left what she had�察�for my mother
had promised me very solemnly�察�that when she died she would
do something for me�察�and leave it so�察�as that�察�if I was living�察�I
should one way or other come at it�察�without its being in the
power of her son�察�my brother and husband�察�to prevent it。 She
told me she did not know exactly how it was ordered�察�but she
had been told that my mother had left a sum of money�察�and
had tied her plantation for the payment of it�察�to be made good
to the daughter�察�if ever she could be heard of�察�either in England
or elsewhere�察�and that the trust was left with this son�察�who was
the person that we saw with his father。
This was news too good for me to make light of�察�and�察�you
may be sure�察�filled my heart with a thousand thoughts�察�what
courseI should take�察�how�察�and when�察�and in what manner I
should make myself known�察�or whether I should ever make
myself know or no。
Here was a perplexity that I had not indeed skill to manage
myself in�察�neither knew I what course to take。 It lay heavy
upon my mind night and day。 I could neither sleep nor
converse�察�sothat my husband perceived it�察�and wondered what
ailed me�察�strove to divert me�察�but it was all to no purpose。 He
pressed me to tell him what it was troubled me�察�but I put it off�察�
till at last�察�importuning me continually�察�I was forced to form
a story�察�which yet had a plain truth to lay it upon too。 It old
him I was troubled because I found we must shift our quarters
and alter our scheme of settling�察�for that I found I should be
known if I stayed in that part of the country�察�for that my mother
being dead�察�several of my relations were come into that part
where we then was�察�and that I must either discover myself to
them�察�which in our present circumstances was not proper on
many accounts�察�or remove�察�and which to do I knew not�察�and
that this it was that made me so melancholy and so thoughtful。
He joined with me in this�察�that it was by no means proper for
me to make myself known to anybody in the circumstances
inwhich we then were�察�and therefore he told me he would be
willing to remove to any other part of the country�察�or even to
any other country if I thought fit。 But now I had another
difficulty��which was�察�that if I removed to any other colony�察�I
put myself out of the way of ever making a due search after
those effects which my mother had left。 Again I could never
so much as think of breaking the secret of my former marriage
to my new husband�察�it was not a story�察�as I thought�察�that would
bear telling�察�nor could I tell what might be the consequences
of it�察�and it was impossible to search into the bottom of the
thing without making it public all over the country�察�as well
who I was�察�as what I now was also。
In this perplexity I continued a great while�察�and this made my
spouse very uneasy�察�for he found me perplexed�察�and yet thought
I was not open with him�察�and did not let him into every part