the man who was afraid-第2部分
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〃Sit down beside me!〃 said Ignat; taking the frightened priest by the hand and seating him next to himself。 〃You are a very near man to me。 I am also a rascal! You; because of need; I; because of wantonness。 I am a rascal because of grief! Understand?〃
〃I understand;〃 said the priest; softly。 All the company were giggling。
〃Do you know now what I am?〃
〃I do。〃
〃Well; say; 'You are a rascal; Ignat!'〃
The priest could not do it。 He looked with terror at the huge figure of Ignat and shook his head negatively。 The company's laughter was now like the rattling of thunder。 Ignat could not make the priest abuse him。 Then he asked him:
〃Shall I give you money?〃
〃Yes;〃 quickly answered the priest。
〃And what do you need it for?〃
He did not care to answer。 Then Ignat seized him by the collar; and shook out of his dirty lips the following speech; which he spoke almost in a whisper; trembling with fear:
〃I have a daughter sixteen years old in the seminary。 I save for her; because when she comes out there won't be anything with which to cover her nakedness。〃
〃Ah;〃 said Ignat; and let go the priest's collar。 Then he sat for a long time gloomy and lost in thought; and now and again stared at the priest。 Suddenly his eyes began to laugh; and he said:
〃Aren't you a liar; drunkard?〃
The priest silently made the sign of the cross and lowered his head on his breast。
〃It is the truth!〃 said one of the company; confirming the priest's words。
〃True? Very well!〃 shouted Ignat; and; striking the table with his fist; he addressed himself to the priest:
〃Eh; you! Sell me your daughter! How much will you take?〃
The priest shook his head and shrank back。
〃One thousand!〃
The company giggled; seeing that the priest was shrinking as though cold water was being poured on him。
〃Two!〃 roared Ignat; with flashing eyes。
〃What's the matter with you? How is it?〃 muttered the priest; stretching out both hands to Ignat。
〃Three!〃
〃Ignat Matveyich!〃 cried the priest; in a thin; ringing voice。 〃For God's sake! For Christ's sake! Enough! I'll sell her! For her own sake I'll sell her!〃
In his sickly; sharp voice was heard a threat to someone; and his eyes; unnoticed by anybody before; flashed like coals。 But the intoxicated crowd only laughed at him foolishly。
〃Silence!〃 cried Ignat; sternly; straightening himself to his full length and flashing his eyes。
〃Don't you understand; devils; what's going on here? It's enough to make one cry; while you giggle。〃
He walked up to the priest; went down on his knees before him; and said to him firmly:
〃Father now you see what a rascal I am。 Well; spit into my face!〃
Something ugly and ridiculous took place。 The priest too; knelt before Ignat; and like a huge turtle; crept around near his feet; kissed his knees and muttered something; sobbing。 Ignat bent over him; lifted him from the floor and cried to him; commanding and begging:
〃Spit! Spit right into my shameless eyes!〃
The company; stupefied for a moment by Ignat's stern voice; laughed again so that the panes rattled in the tavern windows。
〃I'll give you a hundred roubles。 Spit!〃
And the priest crept over the floor and sobbed for fear; or for happiness; to hear that this man was begging him to do something degrading to himself。
Finally Ignat arose from the floor; kicked the priest; and; flinging at him a package of money; said morosely; with a smile:
〃Rabble! Can a man repent before such people? Some are afraid to hear of repentance; others laugh at a sinner。 I was about to unburden myself completely; the heart trembled。 Let me; I thought。 No; I didn't think at all。 Just so! Get out of here! And see that you never show yourself to me again。 Do you hear?〃
〃Oh; a queer fellow!〃 said the crowd; somewhat moved。
Legends were composed about his drinking bouts in town; everybody censured him strictly; but no one ever declined his invitation to those drinking bouts。 Thus he lived for weeks。
And unexpectedly he used to come home; not yet altogether freed from the odour of the kabaks; but already crestfallen and quiet。 With humbly downcast eyes; in which shame was burning now; he silently listened to his wife's reproaches; and; humble and meek as a lamb; went away to his room and locked himself in。 For many hours in succession he knelt before the cross; lowering his head on his breast; his hands hung helplessly; his back was bent; and he was silent; as though he dared not pray。 His wife used to come up to the door on tiptoe and listen。 Deep sighs were heard from behind the doorlike the breathing of a tired and sickly horse。
〃God! You see;〃 whispered Ignat in a muffled voice; firmly pressing the palms of his hands to his broad breast。
During the days of repentance he drank nothing but water and ate only rye bread。
In the morning his wife placed at the door of his room a big bottle of water; about a pound and a half of bread; and salt。 He opened the door; took in these victuals and locked himself in again。 During this time he was not disturbed in any way; everybody tried to avoid him。 A few days later he again appeared on the exchange; jested; laughed; made contracts to furnish corn as sharp…sighted as a bird of prey; a rare expert at anything concerning his affairs。
But in all the moods of Ignat's life there was one passionate desire that never left himthe desire to have a son; and the older he grew the greater was this desire。 Very often such conversation as this took place between him and his wife。 In the morning; at her tea; or at noon during dinner hour he gloomily glared at his wife; a stout; well…fed woman; with a red face and sleepy eyes; and asked her:
〃Well; don't you feel anything?〃
She knew what he meant; but she invariably replied:
〃How can I help feeling? Your fists are like dumb…bells。〃
〃You know what I'm talking about; you fool。〃
〃Can one become pregnant from such blows?〃
〃It's not on account of the blows that you don't bear any children; it's because you eat too much。 You fill your stomach with all sorts of foodand there's no room for the child to engender。〃
〃As if I didn't bear you any children?〃
〃Those were girls;〃 said Ignat; reproachfully。 〃I want a son! Do you understand? A son; an heir! To whom shall I give my capital after my death? Who shall pray for my sins? Shall I give it to a cloister? I have given them enough! Or shall I leave it to you? What a fine pilgrim you are! Even in church you think only of fish pies。 If I die; you'll marry again; and my money will be turned over to some fool。 Do you think this is what I am working for?〃
And he was seized with sardonic anguish; for he felt that his life was aimless if he should have no son to follow him。
During the nine years of their married life his wife had borne him four daughters; all of whom had passed away。 While Ignat had awaited their birth tremblingly; he mourned their death but littleat any rate they were unnecessary to him。 He began to beat his wife during the second year of their married life; at first he did it while being intoxicated and without animosity; but just according to the proverb: 〃Love your wife like your soul and shake her like a pear…tree;〃 but after each confinement; deceived in his expectation; his hatred for his wife grew stronger; and he began to beat her with pleasure; in revenge for not bearing him a son。
Once while on business in the province of Samarsk; he received a telegram from relatives at home; informing him of his wife's death。 He made the sign of the cross; thought awhile and wrote to his friend Mayakin:
〃Bury her in my absence; look after my property。〃
Then he went to the church to serve the mass for the dead; and; having prayed for the repose of the late Aquilina's soul; he began to think that it was necessary for him to marry as soon as possible。
He was then forty…three years old; tall; broad…shouldered; with a heavy bass voice; like an arch…deacon; his large eyes looked bold and wise from under his dark eyebrows; in his sunburnt face; overgrown with a thick; black beard; and in all his mighty figure there was much truly Russian; crude and healthy beauty; in his easy motions as well as in his slow; proud walk; a consciousness of power was evidenta firm confidence in himself。 He was liked by women and did not avoid them。
Ere six months had passed after the death of his wife; he courted the daughter of an Ural Cossack。 The father of the bride; notwithstanding that Ignat was known even in Ural as a 〃pranky〃 man; gave him his daughter in marriage; and toward autumn Ignat Gordyeeff came home with a young Cossack…wife。 Her name was Natalya。 Tall; well…built; with large blue eyes and with a long chestnut braid; she was a worthy match for the handsome Ignat。 He was happy and proud of his wife and loved her with the passionate love of a healthy man; but he soon began to contemplate her thoughtfully; with a vigilant eye。
Seldom did a smile cross the oval; demure face of his wifeshe was always thinking of something foreign to life; and in her calm blue eyes something dark and misanthropic was flashing at times。 Whenever she was free from household duties she seated herself in the most spacious room by the window; and sat there silently for two or three hours。 Her face was turned toward the street; but the look of her eyes was so indifferent to everything that lived and moved there beyond the window; and at the same time it was so fixedly deep; as though she were looking into her very soul。 And her walk; too; was queer。 Natalya moved about the spacious room slowly and carefully; as if something invisible restrained the freedom of her movements。 Their house was filled with heavy and coarsely boastful luxury; everything there was resplendent; screaming of the proprietor's wealth; but the Cossack…wife walked past the costly furniture and the silverware in a shy and somewhat frightened manner; as though fearing lest they might seize and choke her。 Evidently; the noisy life of the big commercial town did not interest this silent woman; and whenever she went out driving with her husband; her eyes were fixed on the back of the driver。 When her husband took her visiting she went and behaved there just as queerly as at home; when guests came t