the man who was afraid-第60部分

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n　and　at　the　same　time　apologetically：

〃Ah！　So　it's　you？〃

〃They've　been　speaking　of　me；〃　thought　Foma；　as　he　seated　himself　at　the　table。　Taras　turned　his　eyes　away　from　him　and　sank　deeper　in　the　armchair。　There　was　an　awkward　silence　lasting　for　about　a　minute；　and　this　pleased　Foma。

〃Are　you　going　to　the　banquet？〃

〃What　banquet？〃

〃Don't　you　know？　Kononov　is　going　to　consecrate　his　new　steamer。　A　mass　will　be　held　there　and　then　they　are　going　to　take　a　trip　up　the　Volga。〃

〃I　was　not　invited；〃　said　Foma。

〃Nobody　was　invited。　He　simply　announced　on　the　Exchange：　'Anybody　who　wishes　to　honour　me　is　welcome！

〃I　don't　care　for　it。〃

〃Yes？　But　there　will　be　a　grand　drinking　bout；〃　said　Lubov；　looking　at　him　askance。

〃I　can　drink　at　my　own　expense　if　I　choose　to　do　so。〃

〃I　know；〃　said　Lubov；　nodding　her　head　expressively。

Taras　toyed　with　his　teaspoon；　turning　it　between　his　fingers　and　looking　at　them　askance。

〃And　where's　my　godfather？〃　asked　Foma。

〃He　went　to　the　bank。　There's　a　meeting　of　the　board　of　directors　today。　Election　of　officers　is　to　take　place。

〃They'll　elect　him　again。〃

〃Of　course。〃

And　again　the　conversation　broke　off。　Foma　began　to　watch　the　brother　and　the　sister。　Having　dropped　the　spoon；　Taras　slowly　drank　his　tea　in　big　sips；　and　silently　moving　the　glass　over　to　his　sister；　smiled　to　her。　She；　too；　smiled　joyously　and　happily；　seized　the　glass　and　began　to　rinse　it　assiduously。　Then　her　face　assumed　a　strained　expression；　she　seemed　to　prepare　herself　for　something　and　asked　her　brother　in　a　low　voice；　almost　reverently：

〃Shall　we　return　to　the　beginning　of　our　conversation？〃

〃If　you　please；〃　assented　Taras；　shortly。

〃You　said　something；　but　I　didn't　understand。　What　was　it？　I　asked：　'If　all　this　is；　as　you　say；　Utopia；　if　it　is　impossible；　dreams；　then　what　is　he　to　do　who　is　not　satisfied　with　life　as　it　is？'〃

The　girl　leaned　her　whole　body　toward　her　brother；　and　her　eyes；　with　strained　expectation；　stopped　on　the　calm　face　of　her　brother。　He　glanced　at　her　in　a　weary　way；　moved　about　in　his　seat；　and；　lowering　his　head；　said　calmly　and　impressively：

〃We　must　consider　from　what　source　springs　that　dissatisfaction　with　life。　It　seems　to　me　that；　first　of　all；　it　comes　from　the　inability　to　work；　from　the　lack　of　respect　for　work。　And；　secondly；　from　a　wrong　conception　of　one's　own　powers。　The　misfortune　of　most　of　the　people　is　that　they　consider　themselves　capable　of　doing　more　than　they　really　can。　And　yet　only　little　is　required　of　man：　he　must　select　for　himself　an　occupation　to　suit　his　powers　and　must　master　it　as　well　as　possible；　as　attentively　as　possible。　You　must　love　what　you　are　doing；　and　then　labour；　be　it　ever　so　rough；　rises　to　the　height　of　creativeness。　A　chair；　made　with　love；　will　always　be　a　good；　beautiful　and　solid　chair。　And　so　it　is　with　everything。　Read　Smiles。　Haven't　you　read　him？　It　is　a　very　sensible　book。　It　is　a　sound　book。　Read　Lubbock。　In　general；　remember　that　the　English　people　constitute　the　nation　most　qualified　for　labour；　which　fact　explains　their　astonishing　success　in　the　domain　of　industry　and　commerce。　With　them　labour　is　almost　a　cult。　The　height　of　culture　stands　always　directly　dependent　upon　the　love　of　labour。　And　the　higher　the　culture　the　more　satisfied　are　the　requirements　of　man；　the　fewer　the　obstacles　on　the　road　toward　the　further　development　of　man's　requirements。　Happiness　is　possibleit　is　the　complete　satisfaction　of　requirements。　There　it　is。　And；　as　you　see；　man's　happiness　is　dependent　upon　his　relation　toward　his　work。〃

Taras　Mayakin　spoke　slowly　and　laboriously；　as　though　it　were　unpleasant　and　tedious　for　him　to　speak。　And　Lubov；　with　knitted　brow；　leaning　toward　him；　listened　to　his　words　with　eager　attention　in　her　eyes；　ready　to　accept　everything　and　imbibe　it　into　her　soul。

〃Well；　and　suppose　everything　is　repulsive　to　a　man？〃　asked　Foma；　suddenly；　in　a　deep　voice；　casting　a　glance　at　Taras's　face。

〃But　what；　in　particular；　is　repulsive　to　the　man？〃　asked　Mayakin；　calmly；　without　looking　at　Foma。

Foma　bent　his　head；　leaned　his　arms　against　the　table　and　thus；　like　a　bull；　went　on　to　explain　himself：

〃Nothing　pleases　himbusiness；　work；　all　people　and　deeds。　Suppose　I　see　that　all　is　deceit；　that　business　is　not　business；　but　merely　a　plug　that　we　prop　up　with　it　the　emptiness　of　our　souls；　that　some　work；　while　others　only　give　orders　and　sweat；　but　get　more　for　that。　Why　is　it　so？　Eh？〃

〃I　cannot　grasp　your　idea；〃　announced　Taras；　when　Foma　paused；　feeling　on　himself　Lubov's　contemptuous　and　angry　look。

〃You　do　not　understand？〃　asked　Foma；　looking　at　Taras　with　a　smile。　〃Well；　I'll　put　it　in　this　way：

A　man　is　sailing　in　a　boat　on　the　river。　The　boat　may　be　good；　but　under　it　there　is　always　a　depth　all　the　same。　The　boat　is　sound；　but　if　the　man　feels　beneath　him　this　dark　depth；　no　boat　can　save　him。〃

Taras　looked　at　Foma　indifferently　and　calmly。　He　looked　in　silence；　and　softly　tapped　his　fingers　on　the　edge　of　the　table。　Lubov　was　uneasily　moving　about　in　her　chair。　The　pendulum　of　the　clock　told　the　seconds　with　a　dull；　sighing　sound。　And　Foma's　heart　throbbed　slowly　and　painfully；　as　though　conscious　that　here　no　one　would　respond　with　a　warm　word　to　its　painful　perplexity。

〃Work　is　not　exactly　everything　for　a　man；〃　said　he；　more　to　himself　than　to　these　people　who　had　no　faith　in　the　sincerity　of　his　words。　〃It　is　not　true　that　in　work　lies　justification。　There　are　people　who　do　not　work　at　all　during　all　their　lives　long；　and　yet　they　live　better　than　those　that　do　work。　How　is　that？　And　the　toilersthey　are　merely　unfortunatehorses！　Others　ride　on　them；　they　suffer　and　that's　all。　But　they　have　their　justification　before　God。　They　will　be　asked：　'To　what　purpose　did　you　live？'　Then　they　will　say：　'We　had　no　time　to　think　of　that。　We　worked　all　our　lives。'　And　Iwhat　justification　have　I？　And　all　those　people　who　give　ordershow　will　they　justify　themselves？　To　what　purpose　have　they　lived？　It　is　my　idea　that　everybody　necessarily　ought　to　know；　to　know　firmly　what　he　is　living　for。〃

He　became　silent；　and；　tossing　his　head　up；　exclaimed　in　a　heavy　voice：

〃Can　it　be　that　man　is　born　merely　to　work；　acquire　money；　build　a　house；　beget　children　anddie？　No；　life　means　something。　A　man　is　born；　he　lives　and　dies。　What　for？　It　is　necessary；　by　God；　it　is　necessary　for　all　of　us　to　consider　what　we　are　living　for。　There　is　no　sense　in　our　life。　No　sense　whatever！　Then　things　are　not　equal；　that　can　be　seen　at　once。　Some　are　richthey　have　money　enough　for　a　thousand　people；　and　they　live　in　idleness。　Others　bend　their　backs　over　their　work　all　their　lives；　and　yet　they　have　not　even　a　grosh。　And　the　difference　in　people　is　very　insignificant。　There　are　some　that　have　not　even　any　trousers　and　yet　they　reason　as　though　they　were　attired　in　silks。〃

Carried　away　by　his　thoughts；　Foma　would　have　continued　to　give　them　utterance；　but　Taras　moved　his　armchair　away　from　the　table；　rose　and　said　softly；　with　a　sigh：

〃No；　thank　you！　I　don't　want　any　more。〃

Foma　broke　off　his　speech　abruptly；　shrugged　his　shoulders　and　looked　at　Lubov　with　a　smile。

〃Where　have　you　picked　up　such　philosophy？〃　she　asked；　suspiciously　and　drily。

〃That　is　not　philosophy。　That　is　simply　torture！〃　said　Foma　in　an　undertone。　〃Open　your　eyes　and　look　at　everything。　Then　you　will　think　so　yourself。〃

〃By　the　way；　Luba；　turn　your　attention　to　the　fact；〃　began　Taras；　standing　with　his　back　toward　the　table　and　scrutinizing　the　clock；　〃that　pessimism　is　perfectly　foreign　to　the　Anglo…Saxon　race。　That　which　they　call　pessimism　in　Swift　and　in　Byron　is　only　a　burning；　sharp　protest　against　the　imperfection　of　life　and　man。　But　you　cannot　find　among　them　the　cold；　well　weighed　and　passive　pessimism。〃

Then；　as　though　suddenly　recalling　Foma；　he　turned　to　him；　clasping　his　hands　behind　his　back；　and；　wriggling　his　thigh；　said：

〃You　raise　very　important　questions；　and　if　you　are　seriously　interested　in　them　you　must　read　books。　In　them　will　you　find　many　very　valuable　opinions　as　to　the　meaning　of　life。　How　about　youdo　you　read　books？〃

〃No！〃　replied　Foma；　briefly。

〃Ah！〃

〃I　don't　like　them。〃

〃Aha！　But　they　might　nevertheless　be　of　some　help　to　you；〃　said　Taras；　and　a　smile　passed　across　his　lips。

〃Books？　Since　men　cannot　help　me　in　my　thoughts　books　can　certainly　do　nothing　for　me；〃　ejaculated　Foma；　morosely。

He　began　to　feel　awkward　and　weary　with　this　indifferent　man。　He　felt　like　going　away；　but　at　the　same　time　he　wished　to　tell　Lubov　something　insulting　about　her　brother；　and　he　waited　till　Taras　would　leave　the　room。　Lubov　washed　the　dishes；　her　face　was　concentrated　and　thoughtful；　her　hands　moved　lazily。　Taras　was　pacing　the　room；　now　and　then　he　stopped　short　before　the　sideboard　on　which　was　the　silverware；　whistled；　tapped　his　fingers　against　the　window…panes　and　examined　the　articles　with　his　eyes　half　shut。　The　pendulum　of　the　clock　flashed　beneath　the　glass　door　of　the　case　like　some　broad；　grinning　face；　and　monotonously　told　the　seconds。　When　Foma　noticed　that　Lubov　glanced　at　him　a　few　times　questioningly；　with　expectant　and　hostile　looks；　he　understood　that　he　was　in　her　way　and　that　she　was　impatiently　expecting　him　to　leave。

〃I　am　going　to　stay　here　over　night；〃　said　he；　with　a　smile。　〃I　must　speak　with　my　godfather。　And　then　it　is　rather　lonesome　in　my　house　alone。〃

〃Then　go　and　tell　Marfusha　to　make　the　bed　for　you　in　the　corner　room；〃　Lubov　hastened　to　advise　him。

〃I　shall。〃

He　arose　and　went　out　of　the　dining…room。　And　he　soon　heard　that　Taras　asked　his　sister　about　something　in　a　low　voice。

〃About　me！〃　he　thought。　Suddenly　this　wicked　thought　flashed　through　his　mind：　〃It　were　but　right　to　listen　and　hear　what　wise　people　have　to　say。〃

He　laughed　softly；　and；　stepping　on　tiptoe；　went　noiselessly　into　the　other　room；　also　adjoining　the　dining…room。　There　was　no　light　there；　and　only　a　thin　band　of　light　from　the　dining…room；　passing　through　the　unclosed　door；　lay　on　the　dark　floor。　Softly；　with　sinking　heart　and　malicious　smile；　Foma　walked　up　close　to　the　door　and　stopped。

〃He's　a　clumsy　fellow；〃　said　Taras。

The