the mountains(山脉)-第33部分
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CATCH！〃 〃Fish in that pond； son？ Why； there's some fish in there big
enough to rope；〃 another advised me。 〃I quit shoveling；〃 one explained
the story of his life； 〃because I couldn't see nothing ahead of shoveling but
dirt。〃 The same man described ploughing as； 〃Looking at a mule's tail all
day。〃 And one of the most succinct epitomes of the motifs of fiction was
offered by an old fellow who looked over my shoulder as I was reading a
novel。 〃Well； son；〃 said he； 〃what they doing now； KISSING OR
KILLING？〃
Nor are the complete phrases behind in aptness。 I have space for
only a few examples； but they will illustrate what I mean。 Speaking of a
companion who was 〃putting on too much dog；〃 I was informed； 〃He
walks like a man with a new suit of WOODEN UNDERWEAR！〃 Or
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again； in answer to my inquiry as to a mutual acquaintance； 〃Jim？ Oh；
poor old Jim！ For the last week or so he's been nothing but an
insignificant atom of humanity hitched to a boil。〃
But to observe the riot of imagination turned loose with the bridle off；
you must assist at a burst of anger on the part of one of these men。 It is
mostly unprintable； but you will get an entirely new idea of what profanity
means。 Also you will come to the conclusion that you； with your trifling
DAMNS； and the like； have been a very good boy indeed。 The remotest；
most obscure； and unheard of conceptions are dragged forth from earth；
heaven； and hell； and linked together in a sequence so original； so gaudy；
and so utterly blasphemous； that you gasp and are stricken with the most
devoted admiration。 It is genius。
Of course I can give you no idea here of what these truly magnificent
oaths are like。 It is a pity； for it would liberalize your education。
Occasionally； like a trickle of clear water into an alkali torrent； a straight
English sentence will drop into the flood。 It is refreshing by contrast； but
weak。
〃If your brains were all made of dynamite； you couldn't blow the top
of your head off。〃
〃I wouldn't speak to him if I met him in hell carrying a lump of ice in
his hand。〃
〃That little horse'll throw you so high the black… birds will build nests
in your hair before you come down。〃
These are ingenious and amusing； but need the blazing settings from
which I have ravished them to give them their due force。
In Arizona a number of us were sitting around the feeble camp…fire the
desert scarcity of fuel permits； smoking our pipes。 We were all
contemplative and comfortably silent with the exception of one very
youthful person who had a lot to say。 It was mainly about himself。
After he had bragged awhile without molestation； one of the older cow…
punchers grew very tired of it。 He removed his pipe deliberately； and
spat in the fire。
〃Say； son；〃 he drawled； 〃if you want to say something big； why don't
you say ‘elephant'？〃
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The young fellow subsided。 We went on smoking our pipes。
Down near the Chiracahua Range in southeastern Arizona； there is a
butte； and halfway up that butte is a cave； and in front of that cave is a
ramshackle porch…roof or shed。 This latter makes the cave into a
dwelling…house。 It is inhabited by an old 〃alkali〃 and half a dozen bear
dogs。 I sat with the old fellow one day for nearly an hour。 It was a
sociable visit； but economical of the English language。 He made one
remark； outside our initial greeting。 It was enough； for in terseness；
accuracy； and compression； I have never heard a better or more
comprehensive description of the arid countries。
〃Son；〃 said he； 〃in this country thar is more cows and less butter； more
rivers and less water； and you kin see farther and see less than in any other
country in the world。〃
Now this peculiar directness of phrase means but one thing；freedom
from the influence of convention。 The cowboy respects neither the
dictionary nor usage。 He employs his words in the manner that best suits
him； and arranges them in the sequence that best expresses his idea；
untrammeled by tradition。 It is a phase of the same lawlessness； the same
reliance on self； that makes for his taciturnity and watchfulness。
In essence； his dress is an adaptation to the necessities of his calling；
as a matter of fact； it is an elaboration on that。 The broad heavy felt hat
he has found by experience to be more effective in turning heat than a
lighter straw； he further runs to variety in the shape of the crown and in
the nature of the band。 He wears a silk handkerchief about his neck to
turn the sun and keep out the dust； but indulges in astonishing gaudiness of
color。 His gauntlets save his hands from the rope； he adds a fringe and a
silver star。 The heavy wide 〃chaps〃 of leather about his legs are
necessary to him when he is riding fast through brush； he indulges in such
frivolities as stamped leather； angora hair； and the like。 High heels to his
boots prevent his foot from slipping through his wide stirrup； and are
useful to dig into the ground when he is roping in the corral。 Even his
six…shooter is more a tool of his trade than a weapon of defense。 With it
he frightens cattle from the heavy brush； he slaughters old or diseased
steers； he 〃turns the herd〃 in a stampede or when rounding it in； and
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especially is it handy and loose to his hip in case his horse should fall and
commence to drag him。
So the details of his appearance spring from the practical； but in the
wearing of them and the using of them he shows again that fine disregard
for the way other people do it or think it。
Now in civilization you and I entertain a double respect for firearms
and the law。 Firearms are dangerous； and it is against the law to use them
promiscuously。 If we shoot them off in unexpected places； we first of all
alarm unduly our families and neighbors； and in due course attract the
notice of the police。 By the time we are grown up we look on shooting a
revolver as something to be accomplished after an especial trip for the
purpose。
But to the cowboy shooting a gun is merely what lighting a match
would be to us。 We take reasonable care not to scratch that match on the
wall nor to throw it where it will do harm。 Likewise the cowboy takes
reasonable care that his bullets do not land in some one's anatomy nor in
too expensive bric…a… brac。 Otherwise any time or place will do。
The picture comes to me of a bunk…house on an Arizona range。 The
time was evening。 A half…dozen cowboys were sprawled out on the beds
smoking； and three more were playing poker with the Chinese cook。 A
misguided rat darted out from under one of the beds and made for the
empty fireplace。 He finished his journey in smoke。 Then the four who
had shot slipped their guns back into their holsters and resumed their
cigarettes and drawling low…toned conversation。
On another occasion I stopped for noon at the Circle I ranch。 While
waiting for dinner； I lay on my back in the bunk…room and counted three
hundred and sixty…two bullet…holes in the ceiling。 They came to be there
because the festive cowboys used to while away the time while lying as I
was lying； waiting for supper； in shooting the flies that crawled about the
plaster。
This beautiful familiarity with the pistol as a parlor toy accounts in
great part for a cowboy's propensity to 〃shoot up the town〃 and his
indignation when arrested therefor。
The average cowboy is only a fair target…shot with the revolver。 But
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he is chain lightning at getting his gun off in a hurry。 There are
exceptions to this； however； especially among the older men。 Some can
handle the Colts 45 and its heavy recoil with almost uncanny accuracy。
I have seen individuals who could from their saddles nip lizards darting
across the road； and one who was able to perforate twice before it hit
the ground a tomato…can tossed into the air。 The cowboy is prejudiced
against the double…action gun； for some reason or other。 He
manipulates his single…action weapon fast enough； however。
His sense of humor takes the same unexpected slan
