whirligigs-第34部分
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now。 The guys with wads are not in the frame of
mind to slack up on the mazuma； and the man with the
portable tin banqueting canister isn't exactly ready to
join the Bible class。 You can bet your variegated socks
that the situation is all spifflicated up from the Battery to
breakfast！ What the country needs is for some bully old
bloke like Cobden or some wise guy like old Ben Frank…
lin to sashay up to the front and biff the nigger's head
with the baseball。 Do you catch my smoke？ What？〃
Rivington pulled me by the arm impatiently。
〃Please come on；〃 he said。 〃Let's go see something。
This isn't what you want。〃
〃Indeed； it is；〃 I said resisting。 〃This tough talk is
the very stuff that counts。 There is a picturesqueness
about the speech of the lower order of people that is quite
unique。 Did you say that this is the Bowery variety
of slang？〃
〃Oh； well；〃 said Rivington； giving it up； 〃I'll tell you
straight。 That's one of our college professors talking。
He ran down for a day or two at the club。 It's a sort
of fad with him lately to use slang in his conversation。
He thinks it improves language。 The man he is talking
to is one of New York's famous social economists。 Now
will you come on。 You can't use that； you know。〃
〃No；〃 I agreed； 〃I can't use that。 Would you call
that typical of New York？〃
〃Of course not；〃 said Rivington； with a sigh of relief。
〃I'm glad you see the difference。 But if you want to
hear the real old tough Bowery slang I'll take you down
where you'll get your fill of it。〃
〃I would like it；〃 I said； 〃that is； if it's the real thing。
I've often read it in books； but I never heard it。 Do
you think it will be dangerous to go unprotected among
those characters ？
〃Oh； no；〃 said Rivington； 〃not at this time of night。
To tell the truth； I haven't been along the Bowery in a
long time； but I know it as well as I do Broadway。 We'll
look up some of the typical Bowery boys and get them to
talk。 It'll be worth your while。 They talk a peculiar
dialect that you won't hear any…where else on earth。〃
Rivington and I went east in a Forty…second street car
and then south on the Third avenue line。
At Houston street we got off and walked。
〃We are now on the famous Bowery；〃 said Rivington；
〃the Bowery celebrated in song and story。〃
We passed block after block of 〃gents'〃 furnishing
stores the windows full of shirts with prices attached
and cuffs inside。 In other windows were neckties and
no shirts。 People walked up and down the sidewalks。
〃In some ways；〃 said I； 〃this reminds me of Koko…
mono； Ind。； during the peach…crating season。〃
Rivington was nettled。
〃Step into one of these saloons or vaudeville shows；〃
said he； 〃with a large roll of money； and see how quickly
the Bowery will sustain its reputation。〃
〃You make impossible conditions；〃 said I； coldly。
By and by Rivington stopped and said we were in the
heart of the Bowery。 There was a policeman on the
corner whom Rivington knew。
〃Hallo； Donahue！〃 said my guide。 〃How goes it？
My friend and I are down this way looking up a bit of
local colour。 He's anxious to meet one of the Bowery
types。 Can't you put us on to something genuine in that
line something that's got the colour； you know？〃
Policeman Donahue turned himself about ponder…
ously； his florid face full of good…nature。 He pointed with
his club down the street。
〃Sure！〃 he said huskily。 〃Here comes a lad now
that was born on the Bowery and knows every inch of
it。 If he's ever been above Bleecker street he's kept it
to himself。〃
A man about twenty…eight or twenty…nine； with a smooth
face； was sauntering toward us with his hands in his
coat pockets。 Policeman Donahue stopped him with a
courteous wave of his club。
〃Evening； Kerry；〃 he said。 〃Here's a couple of gents；
friends of mine； that want to hear you spiel something
about the Bowery。 Can you reel 'em off a few yards？〃
〃Certainly； Donahue；〃 said the young man； pleas…
antly。 〃Good evening； gentlemen；〃 he said to us；
with a pleasant smile。 Donahue walked off on his beat。
〃This is the goods；〃 whispered Rivington； nudging
me with his elbow。 〃Look at his jaw！〃
〃Say； cull；〃 said Rivington； pushing back his hat；
wot's doin'？ Me and my friend's taking a look down
de old line see？ De copper tipped us off dat you was
wise to de bowery。 Is dat right？〃
I could not help admiring Rivington's power of adapt…
ing himself to his surroundings。
〃Donahue was right；〃 said the young man； frankly；
〃I was brought up on the Bowery。 I have been news…
boy； teamster； pugilist； member of an organized band
of 'toughs；' bartender； and a 'sport' in various mean…
ings of the word。 The experience certainly warrants the
supposition that I have at least a passing acquaintance
with a few phases of Bowery life。 I will be pleased to
place whatever knowledge and experience I have at the
service of my friend Donahue's friends。〃
Rivington seemed ill at ease。
〃I say；〃 he said somewhat entreatingly； 〃I thought
you're not stringing us； are you？ It isn't just the kind
of talk we expected。 You haven't even said 'Hully gee！'
once。 Do you really belong on the Bowery？〃
〃I am afraid；〃 said the Bowery boy； smilingly； 〃that
at some time you have been enticed into one of the dives
of literature and had the counterfeit coin of the Bowery
passed upon you。 The 'argot' to which you doubtless
refer was the invention of certain of your literary 'dis…
coverers' who invaded the unknown wilds below Third
avenue and put strange sounds into the mouths of the
inhabitants。 Safe in their homes far to the north and
west； the credulous readers who were beguiled by this
new 'dialect' perused and believed。 Like Marco Polo
and Mungo Park pioneers indeed； but ambitious souls
who could not draw the line of demarcation between dis…
covery and invention the literary bones of these
explorers are dotting the trackless wastes of the sub…
way。 While it is true that after the publication of the
mythical language attributed to the dwellers along the
Bowery certain of its pat phrases and apt metaphors
were adopted and； to a limited extent； used in this locality；
it was because our people are prompt in assimilating
whatever is to their commercial advantage。 To the
tourists who visited our newly discovered clime； and
who expected a realization of their literary guide books；
they supplied the demands of the market。
〃But perhaps I am wandering from the question。 In
what way can I assist you； gentlemen？ I beg you will
believe that the hospitality of the street is extended to
all。 There are； I regret to say； many catchpenny places
of entertainment； but I cannot conceive that they would
entice you。〃
I felt Rivington lean somewhat heavily against me。
〃Say！〃 he remarked； with uncertain utterance； 〃come
and have a drink with us。〃
〃Thank you； but I never drink。 I find that alcohol；
even in the smallest quantities； alters the perspective。
And I must preserve my perspective； for I am studyinc；
the Bowery。 I have lived in it nearly thirty years； and
I am just beginning to understand its heartbeats。 It is
like a great river fed by a hundred alien streams。 Each
influx brings strange seeds on its flood； strange silt and
weeds； and now and then a flower of rare promise。 To
construe this river requires a man who can build dykes
against the overflow； who is a naturalist； a geologist； a
humanitarian； a diver and a strong swimmer。 I love
my Bowery。 It was my cradle and is my inspiration。
I have published one book。 The critics have been kind。
I put my heart in it。 I am writing another； into which
I hope to put both heart and brain。 Consider me your
guide； gentlemen。 Is there arything I can take you to
see； any place to which I can conduct you？〃
I was afraid to look at Rivington except with one
eye。
〃Thanks；〃 said Rivington。 〃We were looking up
。 。 。 that is 。 。 。 my friend 。 。 。 confound
it； it's against all precedent； you know 。 。 。 awfully
obliged 。 。 。 just the same。〃
〃In case；〃 said our friend； 〃you would like to meet
some of our Bowery young men I would be pleased to
have you visit the quarters of our East Side Kappa Delta
Phi Society； only two blocks east of here。〃
〃Awfully sorry；〃 said Rivington； 〃but my friend's got
me on the jump to…nioht。 He's a terror when he's out
after local colour。 Now； there's nothing I would like
better than to drop in at the Kappa Delta Phi； but
some other time！〃
We said our farewells and boarded a home…bound car。
We had a rabbit on upper Broadway； and then I parted
with Rivington on a street corner。
〃Well； anyhow；〃 said he； braced and recovered； 〃it
couldn't have happened anywhere but in little old New
York。〃
Which to say the least； was typical of Rivington。
GEORGIA'S RULING
If you should chance to visit the General Land Office；
step into the draughtsmen's room and ask to be shown
the map of Salado County。 A leisurely German pos…
sibly old Kampfer himself will bring it to you。 It will
be four feet square； on heavy drawing…cloth。 The lettering
and the figures will be beautifully clear and distinct。
The title will be in splendid； undecipherable German
text； ornamented with classic Teutonic designs very
likely Ceres or Pomona leaning against the initial letters
with cornucopias venting grapes and wieners。 You
must tell him that this is not the map you wish to see；
that he will kindly bring you its official predecessor。
He will then say； 〃Ach； so！〃 and bring out a map
half the size of the first； dim； old； tattered； and
faded。
By looking carefully near its northwest corner you will
presently come upon the worn contours of Chiquito
River；
