the deliverance-第31部分

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　change。

Between　Fletcher　and　himself　the　account　was　still　open；　and　the　way　in　which　he　meant　to　settle　it　concerned　himself　aloneleast　of　all　did　it　concern　Tom　Spade。

He　was　groping　confusedly　among　these　reflections　when；　one　evening　in　early　November；　he　went　upstairs　after　a　hasty　supper　to　find　Cynthia　already　awaiting　him　in　his　room。　At　his　start　of　displeased　surprise　she　came　timidly　forward　and　touched　his　arm。

〃Are　you　sick；　Christopher？　or　has　anything　happened？　You　are　so　unlike　yourself。〃

He　shook　his　head　impatiently　and　her　hand　fell　from　his　sleeve。　It　occurred　to　him　all　at　once；　with　an　aggrieved　irritation；　that　of　late　his　family　had　failed　him　in　sympathythat　they　had　ceased　to　value　the　daily　sacrifices　he　made。　Almost　with　horror　he　found　himself　asking　the　next　instant　whether　the　simple　bond　of　blood　was　worth　all　that　he　had　givenworth　his　youth；　his　manhood；　his　ambition？　Until　this　moment　his　course　had　seemed　to　him　the　one　inevitable　outcome　of　circumstancesthe　one　appointed　path　for　him　to　tread；　but　even　as　he　put　the　question　he　saw　in　a　sudden　illumination　that　there　might　have　been　another　waythat　with　the　burden　of　the　three　women　removed　he　might　have　struck　out　into　the　world　and　at　least　have　kept　his　own　head　above　water。　With　his　next　breath　the　horror　of　his　thought　held　him　speechless；　and　he　turned　away　lest　Cynthia　should　read　his　degradation　in　his　eyes。

〃Happened！　Why；　what　should　have　happened？〃　he　inquired　with　attempted　lightness。　〃Good　Lord！　After　a　day's　work　like　mine　you　can　hardly　expect　me　to　dance　a　hornpipe。　Since　sunrise　I've　done　a　turn　at　fall　ploughing；　felled　and　chopped　a　tree；　mended　the　pasture　fence；　brought　the　water　for　the　washing；　tied　up　some　tobacco　leaves；　and　looked　after　the　cattle　and　the　horsesand　now　you　find　fault　because　I　haven't　cut　any　extra　capers！〃

〃Not　find　fault；　dear；〃　she　answered；　and　the　hopeless　courage　in　her　face　smote　him　to　the　heart。　In　a　bitter　revulsion　of　feeling　he　felt　that　he　could　not　endure　her　suffering　tenderness。

〃Find　fault　with　you！　Oh；　Christopher！　It　is　only　that　you　have　been　so　different　of　late；　so　brooding；　and　you　seem　to　avoid　us　at　every　instant。　Even　mother　has　noticed　it；　and　she　imagines　that　you　are　in　love。〃

〃In　love！〃　he　threw　back　his　head　with　a　loud　laugh。　〃Oh；　I'm　tired；　Cynthiadog…tired；　that's　the　matter。〃

〃I　know；　I　know；〃　replied　Cynthia；　rubbing　her　eyes　hard　with　the　back　of　her　hand。　〃And　the　worst　is　that　there's　no　help　for　itabsolutely　none。　I　think　about　it　sometimes　until　I　wonder　that　I　don't　go　mad。〃

He　turned　at　this　from　the　window　through　which　he　had　been　gazing　and　fixed　upon　her　a　perplexed　and　moody　stare。　The　wistful　patience　in　her　face；　like　the　look　he　had　seen　in　the　eyes　of　overworked　farm　animals；　aroused　in　him　a　desire　to　prod　her　into　actual　revoltinto　any　decisive　rebellion　against　fate。　To　accept　life　upon　its　own　terms　seemed　to　him；　at　the　instant；　pure　cowardlinessthe　enforced　submission　of　a　weakened　will；　and　he　questioned　almost　angrily　if　the　hereditary　instincts　were　alive　in　her　also？　Did　she；　too；　have　her　secret　battles　and　her　silent　capitulations？　Or　was　her　pious　resignation；　after　all；　only　a　new　form　of　the　old　Blake　maladyof　that　fatal　apathy　which　seized　them；　like　disease；　when　events　demanded　strenuous　endeavour？　Could　the　saintly　fortitude　he　had　once　so　envied　be；　when　all　was　said；　merely　the　outward　expression　of　the　inertia　he　himself　had　feltof　the　impulse　to　drift　with　the　tide；　let　it　carry　one　where　it　would？

〃Well；　I'm　glad　it's　no　worse；〃　said　Cynthia；　with　a　sigh　of　relief；　as　she　turned　toward　the　door。　〃Since　you　are　not　sick；　dear；　things　are　not　so　bad　as　they　might　be。　I'll　let　mother　fancy　you　have　what　she　calls　'a　secret　sentiment。'　It　amuses　her；　at　any　rate。　And　now　I'm　going　to　stir　up　some　buckwheat　cakes　for　your　breakfast。　We've　got　a　jug　of　black　molasses。〃

〃That's　pleasant；　at　least；〃　he　returned；　laughing；　and　then　as　she　reached　the　door　he　went　toward　her　and　laid　his　hand　awkwardly　upon　her　shoulder。　〃Don't　worry　about　me；　Cynthia；〃　he　added；　〃there's　a　lot　of　work　left　in　me　yet；　and　a　change　for　the　better　may　come　any　day；　you　know。　By　next　year　the　price　of　tobacco　may　shoot　skyhigh。〃

Her　face　brightened　and　a　flush　smoothed　out　all　the　fine　wrinkles　on　her　brow；　but　with　the　pathetic　shyness　of　a　woman　who　has　never　been　caressed　she　let　his　hand　fall　stiffly　from　her　arm　and　went　hurriedly　from　the　room。

For　a　few　minutes　Christopher　stood　looking　abstractedly　at　the　closed　door。　Then　shaking　his　head；　as　if　to　rid　himself　of　an　accusing　thought；　he　turned　away　and　began　rapidly　to　undress。　He　had　thrown　off　his　coat；　and　was　stooping　to　remove　his　boots；　when　a　slight　noise　at　the　window　startled　him；　and　straightening　himself　instantly　he　awaited　attentively　a　repetition　of　the　sound。　In　a　moment　it　came　again；　and　hastily　crossing　the　room　and　raising　the　sash；　he　looked　out　into　the　full　moonlight　and　saw　Will　Fletcher　standing　in　the　gravelled　path　below。　At　the　first　glance　surprise　held　him　motionless；　but　as　the　boy　waved　to　him　he　responded　to　the　signal；　and；　catching　up　his　coat　from　the　bed；　ran　down　the　staircase　and　out　into　the　yard。

〃What　in　the　devil's　name〃　he　exclaimed；　aghast。

Will　was　trembling　from　exhaustion；　and　his　face　glimmered　like　a　pallid　blotch　under　the　shadow　of　the　aspen。　When　the　turkeys　stirred　on　an　overhanging　bough　above　him　he　started　nervously　and　sucked　in　his　breath　with　a　hissing　sound。　He　was　run　to　death；　this　Christopher　saw　at　the　first　anxious　look。

〃Get　me　something　to　eat；〃　said　the　boy；　〃I'm　half　starvedbut　bring　it　to　the　barn；　for　I'm　too　dead　tired　to　stand　a　moment。　Yes；　I　ran　away；　of　course；〃　he　finished　irritably。　〃Do　I　look　as　if　I'd　come　in　grandpa's　carriage？〃

With　a　last　spurt　of　energy　he　disappeared　into　the　shadows　behind　the　house；　and　Christopher；　going　into　the　kitchen；　began　searching　the　tin　safe　for　the　chance　remains　of　supper。　On　the　table　was　the　bowl　of　buckwheat　which　Cynthia　had　been　preparing　when　she　was　called　away　by　some　imperious　demand　of　her　mother's；　and　near　it　he　saw　the　open　prayer…book　from　which　she　had　been　reading。　From　the　adjoining　room　he　heard　Tucker's　voicethose　rich；　pleasant　tones　that　translated　into　sound　the　courageous　manliness　of　the　old　soldier's　faceand　for　an　instant　he　yearned　toward　the　cheerful　group　sitting　in　the　firelight　beyond　the　whitewashed　walltoward　the　blind　woman　in　her　old　oak　chair；　listening　to　the　evening　chapter　from　the　Scriptures。　Then　the　feeling　passed　as　quickly　as　it　had　come；　and　securing　a　plate　of　bread　and　a　dried　ham…bone；　he　filled　a　glass　with　fresh　milk；　and；　picking　up　his　lantern；　went　out　of　doors　and　along　the　little　straggling　path　to　the　barn。

The　yard　was　frosted　over　with　moonlight；　but　when　he　reached　the　rude　building　where　the　farm　implements　and　cattle　fodder　were　sheltered　he　saw　that　it　was　quite　dark　inside；　only　a　few　scattered　moonbeams　crawling　through　the　narrow　doorway。　To　his　first　call　there　was　no　answer；　and　it　was　only　after　he　had　lighted　his　lantern　and　swung　it　round　in　the　darkness　that　he　discovered　Will　lying　fast　asleep　upon　a　pile　of　straw。

As　the　light　struck　him　full　in　the　face　the　boy　opened　his　eyes　and　sprang　up。

〃Why；　it's　you；〃　he　said　in　a　relieved　voice。　〃I　thought　it　was　grandpa。　If　he　comes　you've　got　to　keep　him　out；　you　know！〃

He　spoke　in　an　excited　whisper；　and　his　eyes　plunged　beyond　the　entrance　with　a　look　of　pitiable　and　abject　terror。　Once　or　twice　he　shivered　as　if　from　cold；　and　then；　turning　away；　cowered　into　the　pile　of　straw　in　search　of　warmth。

For　a　time　Christopher　stood　gazing　uneasily　down　upon　him。　〃Look　here；　man；　this　can't　keep　up；〃　he　said。　〃You'd　better　go　straight　home；　that's　my　opinion；　and　get　into　a　decent　bed。〃

Will　started　up　again。　〃I　won't　see　him！　I　won't！〃　he　cried　angrily。　〃If　you　bring　him　here　I'll　get　up　and　hide。　I　won't　see　him！　Why；　he　almost　killed　me　after　that　'possum　hunt　we　had；　and　if　he　found　this　out　so　soon　he'd　kill　me　outright。　There　was　an　awful　rumpus　at　school。　They　wrote　him　and　he　said　he　was　coming；　so　I　ran　away。　It　was　all　his　fault；　too；　he　had　no　business　to　send　me　back　again　when　he　knew　how　I　hated　it。　I　told　him　he'd　be　sorry。〃

〃Well；　he　shan't　get　in　here　to…night；〃　returned　Christopher　soothingly。　I'll　keep　him　out　with　a　shotgun；　bless　him；　if　he　shows　his　face。　Come；　now；　sit　up　and　eat　a　bit；　or　there　won't　be　any　fight　left　in　us。〃

Will　took　the　food　obediently；　but　before　it　touched　his　lips　the　hand　in　which　he　held　it　dropped　limply　to　the　straw。

〃I　can't　eat；〃　he　complained；　with　a　gesture　of　disgust。　〃I'm　too　sickI've　been　sick　for　days。　It　was　all　grandpa's　doing；　too。　When　I　heard　he　was　coming　I　went　out　and　got　soaking　wet；　and　then　slept　in　my　clothes　all　night。　I　knew　he'd　never　make　a　fuss　if　I　could　only　get　ill　enough；　but　the　next　morning　I　felt　all　right；　so　I　came　away。〃

Kneeling　upon　the　floor；　Christopher　held　the　glass　to　his　lips；　gently　forcing　him　to　drink　a　few　swallows。　Then　dipping　his　handkerchief　in　the　cattle　trough　outside；　he　bathed　the　boy's　face　and　hands；　and；　loosening　his　clothes；　made　him　as　comfortable　as　he　could。　〃This　won't　do；　you　know；〃　he　urged　presently；　alarmed　by　Will's　difficult　breathing。　〃You　are　in　for　a　jolly　little　spell；　and　I　must　get　you　home。　Your　grandfather　will　never　bother　you　while　you're　sick。〃

At　the　words　the　boy　clung　to　him　deliriously；　breaking　into　frightened　whimpers　such　as　a　child　makes　in　the　dark。　〃I　won't　go　back！　I　won't　go　back！〃　he　repeated　wildly；　〃he'll　never　believe　I'm　ill；　and　I　won't　go　back！〃

〃All　right；　that　settles　it。　Lie　quiet　and　I'll　fetch　you　some　bedding　from　my　room。　Then　I'll　fix　you　a　pallet　out　here；　and　we'll　put　up　as　best　we　can　till　morning。〃

〃Don't　stay；　don't　stay；〃　pleaded　Will；　as　the　other；　leaving　his　lantern　on　the　floor；　ran　out　into　the　moonlight。

Returning　in　a　quarter　of　an　hour；　he　threw　a　small　feather…bed　down　upon　the　straw　and　settled　the　boy　comfortably　upon　it。　Then　he　covered　him　with　blankets；　and；　after　closing　the　door；　came　back　and　stood　watching　fo