the deliverance-第35部分

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me　so　much；　and　I　won't　stand　it。〃　〃He　ought　to　get　a　dog；〃　suggested　Christopher　indifferently。　〃Well；　I'm　not　a　dog；　and　I'll　make　him　understand　it　yet。　Oh；　you　think　I'm　an　awful　milksop；　of　course；　but　I'll　show　you　otherwise　some　day。　I'd　like　to　know　if　you　could　have　done　any　better　in　my　place？〃　〃Done！　Why；　I　shouldn't　have　been　in　your　place　long；　that's　all。〃　〃I　shan't；　either；　for　that　matter；　but　I've　got　to　humour　him　a　little；　you　see；　because　he　holds　the　purse…strings。〃　〃He'd　never　go　so　far　as　to　kick　you　out；　would　he？〃　〃Well；　hardly。　I'm　all　he　has；　you　know。　He　doesn't　like　Maria　because　of　her　fine　airs；　much　as　he　thinks　of　education。　I've　got　to　be　a　gentleman；　he　says；　but　as　for　him；　he　wouldn't　give　up　one　of　his　vulgar　habits　to　save　anybody's　soul。　His　trouble　with　Maria　all　came　of　her　reproving　him　for　drinking　out　of　his　saucer。　Now；　I　don't　mind　that　kind　of　thing　so　much；　but　Maria　used　to　say　she'd　rather　have　him　steal；　any　day；　than　gulp　his　coffee。　Why　are　you　laughing　so？〃　〃Oh；　nothing。　Are　you　going　to　Tom's　now？　I've　got　to　work。〃　Will　slid　down　from　the　big　box　and　sauntered　toward　the　door；　pausing　on　the　little　wooden　step　to　light　a　cigarette。　〃Drop　in　if　you　get　a　chance；〃　he　threw　back　over　his　shoulder；　with　a　puff　of　smoke。　In　a　few　moments　Christopher　finished　his　work；　and；　coming　outside；　closed　the　stable　door。　Then　he　walked　a　few　paces　along　the　little　path　stopping　from　time　to　time　to　gaze　across　the　darkening　landscape。　A　light　mist　was　wreathed　about　the　tops　of　the　old　lilac…bushes；　where　it　glimmered　so　indistinctly　that　it　seemed　as　if　one　might　dispel　it　by　a　breath；　and　farther　away　the　soft　evening　colours　had　settled　over　the　great　fields；　beyond　which　a　clear　yellow　line　was　just　visible　above　the　distant　woods。　The　wind　was　sharp　with　an　edge　of　frost；　and　as　it　blew　into　his　face　he　raised　his　head　and　drank　long；　invigorating　drafts。　From　the　cattle…pen　hard　by　he　smelled　the　fresh　breath　of　the　cows；　and　around　him　were　those　other　odours；　vague；　familiar；　pleasant；　which　are　loosened　at　twilight　in　the　open　country。　The　time　had　been　when　the　mere　physical　contact　with　the　air　would　have　filled　him　with　a　quiet　satisfaction；　but　during　the　last　four　years　he　had　lost　gradually　his　sensitiveness　to　external　thingsto　the　changes　of　the　seasons　as　to　the　beauties　of　an　autumn　sunrise。　A　clear　morning　had　ceased　to　arouse　in　him　the　old　buoyant　energy；　and　he　had　lost　the　zest　of　muscular　exertion　which　had　done　so　much　to　sweeten　his　labour　in　the　fields。　It　was　as　if　a　clog　fettered　his　simplest　no　less　than　his　greatest　emotion；　and　his　enjoyment　of　nature　had　grown　dull　and　spiritless；　like　his　affection　for　his　family。　With　his　sisters　he　was　aware　that　a　curious　constraint　had　become　apparent；　and　it　was　no　longer　possible　for　him　to　meet　his　mother　with　the　gay　deference　she　still　exacted。　There　were　times；　even；　when　he　grew　almost　suspicious　of　Cynthia's　patience；　and　at　such　moments　his　irritation　was　manifested　in　a　sullen　reserve。　To　himself　he　could　give　no　explanation　of　his　state　of　mind；　he　knew　merely　that　he　retreated　day　by　day　farther　into　the　shadow　of　his　loneliness；　and　that；　while　in　his　heart　he　still　craved　human　sympathy；　an　expression　of　it　even　from　those　he　loved　was；　above　all；　the　thing　he　most　bitterly　resented。　A　light　flashed　in　the　kitchen；　and　he　went　on　slowly　toward　the　house。　As　he　reached　the　back　porch　he　saw　that　Lila　was　sitting　at　the　kitchen　window　looking　wearily　out　into　the　dusk。　The　firelight　scintillated　in　her　eyes；　and　as　she　turned　quickly　at　a　sound　within　the　room　he　noticed　with　a　pang　that　the　sparkles　were　caused　by　teardrops　on　her　lashes。　His　heart　quickened　at　the　sight　of　her　drooping　figure；　and　an　impulse　seized　him　to　go　in　and　comfort　her　at　any　cost。　Then　his　severe　constraint　laid　an　icy　hold　upon　him；　and　he　hesitated　with　his　hand　upon　the　door。

〃If　I　go　in　and　speak　to　her；　what　is　there　for　me　to　say？〃　he　thought；　overcome　by　his　horror　of　any　uncontrolled　emotion。　〃We　will　merely　go　over　the　old　complaints；　the　endless　explanations。　She　will　probably　weep　like　a　child；　and　I　shall　feel　a　brute　when　I　look　on　and　keep　silent。　In　the　first　place；　if　I　speak　to　her；　what　is　there　for　me　to　say？　If　I　simply　beg　her　to　stop　crying；　or　if　I　rush　in　and　urge　her　to　marry　Jim　Weatherby　to…morrow；　what　good　can　come　of　either　course？　She　doesn't　wait　for　my　consent　to　the　marriage；　for　she　is　as　old　as　I　am；　and　knows　her　own　heart　much　better　than　I　know　mine。　It　is　true　that　she　is　too　beautiful　to　waste　away　like　this；　but　how　can　I　prevent　it；　or　what　is　there　for　me　to　do？〃

Again　came　the　impulse　to　go　in　and　fold　her　in　his　arms；　but　before　he　had　taken　the　first　step　he　yielded；　as　always；　to　his　strange　reserve；　and　he　realised　that　if　he　entered　it　would　be　but　to　assume　his　customary　unconcern；　from　the　shelter　of　which　he　would　probably　make　a　few　commonplace　remarks　on　trivial　subjects。　The　emotional　situation　would　be　ignored　by　them　all；　he　knew；　they　would　treat　it　absolutely　as　if　it　had　no　existence；　as　if　its　voice　was　not　speaking　to　them　in　the　silence；　and　they　would　break　their　bread　and　drink　their　coffee　in　apparent　unconsciousness　that　supper　was　not　the　single　thing　that　engrossed　their　thoughts。　And　all　the　time　they　would　be　face　to　face　with　the　knowledge　that　they　had　demanded　that　Lila　should　sacrifice　her　life。

Presently　Cynthia　came　out　and　called　him；　and　he　went　in　carelessly　and　sat　down　at　the　table。　Lila　left　the　window　and　slipped　into　her　place；　and　when　Tucker　joined　them　she　cut　up　his　food　as　usual　and　prepared　his　coffee。

〃Uncle　Tucker's　cup　has　no　handle；　Cynthia；〃　she　said　with　concern。　〃Let　me　take　this　one　and　give　him　another。〃

〃Well；　I　never！〃　exclaimed　Cynthia；　bending　over　to　examine　the　break　with　her　near…sighted　squint。　〃We'll　soon　have　to　begin　using　Aunt　Susannah's　set；　if　this　keeps　up。　Uncle　Boaz；　you've　broken　another　cup　to…day。〃

Her　tone　was　sharp　with　irritation；　and　the　fine　wrinkles　caused　by　ceaseless　small　worries　appeared　instantly　between　her　eyebrows。　Christopher；　watching　her；　remembered　that　she　had　worn　the　same　expression　during　the　scene　with　Lila；　and　it　annoyed　him　unspeakably　that　she　should　be　able　to　descend　so　readily；　and　with　equal　energy；　upon　so　insignificant　a　grievance　as　a　bit　of　broken　china。

Uncle　Boaz　hobbled　round　the　table　and　peered　contemptuously　at　the　cup　which　Lila　held。

〃Dar　warn'　no　use　bruckin'　dat　ar　one；〃　he　observed；　〃'caze　'twuz　bruck　a'ready。〃　〃　Oh；　there　won't　be　a　piece　left　presently；〃　pursued　Cynthia　indignantly；　and　Christopher　felt　suddenly　that　there　was　something　contemptible　in　the　passion　she　expended　upon　trifles。　He　wondered　if　Tucker　noticed　how　horribly　petty　it　all　was　to　lament　a　broken　cup　when　the　tears　were　hardly　dried　on　Lila's　cheeks。　Finishing　hurriedly；　he　pushed　back　his　chair　and　rose　from　the　table；　shaking　his　head　in　response　to　Cynthia's　request　that　he　should　go　in　to　see　his　mother。　〃Not　now；〃　he　said　impatiently；　with　that　nervous　avoidance　of　the　person　he　loved　best。　〃I'll　be　back　in　time　to　carry　her　to　bed；　but　I've　got　to　take　a　half…hour　off　and　look　in　on　Tom　Spade。〃　〃She　really　ought　to　go　to　bed　before　sundown；〃　responded　Cynthia；　〃but　nothing　under　heaven　will　persuade　her　to　do　so。　It's　her　wonderful　will　that　keeps　her　alive；　just　as　it　keeps　her　sitting　bolt　upright　in　that　old　chair。　I　don't　believe　there's　another　woman　on　earth　who　could　have　done　it　for　more　than　twenty　years。〃　Taking　down　his　hat　from　a　big　nail　in　the　wall；　Christopher　stood　for　a　moment　abstractedly　fingering　the　brim。　〃Well；　I'll　be　back　shortly；〃　he　said　at　last；　and　went　out　hurriedly　into　the　darkness。　At　the　instant　he　could　not　tell　why　he　had　so　suddenly　decided　to　follow　Will　Fletcher　to　the　store；　but；　as　usual；　when　the　impulse　came　to　him　he　proceeded　to　act　promptly　as　it　directed。　Strangely　enough；　the　boy　was　the　one　human　being　whom　he　felt　no　inclination　to　avoid；　and　the　least　oppressive　moments　that　he　knew　were　the　reckless　ones　they　spent　together。　While　his　daily　companion　was　mentally　and　morally　upon　a　lower　plane　than　his　own；　the　association　was　not　without　a　balm　for　his　wounded　pride；　and　the　knowledge　that　it　was　still　possible　to　assume　superiority　to　Fletcher's　heir　was；　so　far　as　he　himself　admitted；　the　one　consolation　that　his　life　contained。　As　for　his　feeling　toward　Will　Fletcher　as　an　individual；　it　was　the　outcome　of　so　curious　a　mixture　of　attraction　and　repulsion　that　he　had　long　ceased　from　any　attempt　to　define　it　as　pure　emotion。　For　the　last　four　years　the　boy　had　been；　as　Tom　Spade　put　it；　〃the　very　shadow　on　the　man's　footsteps；〃　and　yet　at　the　end　of　that　time　it　was　almost　impossible　for　Christopher　to　acknowledge　either　his　liking　or　his　hatred。　He　had　suffered　him　for　his　own　end；　that　was　all；　and　he　had　come　at　last　almost　to　enjoy　the　tolerance　that　he　displayed。　The　hero　worshipthe　natural　imitation　of　youth　was　at　least　not　unpleasant；　and　there　had　been　days　during　a　brief　absence　of　the　boy　when　Christopher　had；　to　his　surprise；　become　aware　of　a　positive　vacancy　in　his　surroundings。　So　long　as　Will　made　no　evident　attempt　to　rise　above　himso　long；　indeed；　as　Fletcher's　grandson　kept　to　Fletcher's　level；　it　was　possible　that　the　companionship　would　continue　as　harmoniously　as　it　had　begun。　In　the　store　he　found　Tom　Spade　and　his　wifean　angular；　strong…featured　woman；　in　purple　calico；　who　carried　off　the　reputation　of　a　shrew　with　noisy　honours。　When　he　asked　for　Will；　the　storekeeper　turned　from　the　cash…drawer　which　he　was　emptying　and　nodded　toward　the　half…open　door　of　the　adjoining　room。

〃Several　of　the　young　fellows　are　in　thar　now；〃　he　remarked　offhand；　〃an'　I've　jest　had　to　go　in　an'　git　between　Fred　Turner　an'　Will　Fletcher。　They　came　to　out　an'　out　blows；　an'　I　had　to　shake　'em　both　by　the　scuff　of　thar　necks　befo'　they'd　hish

snarlin'。　Bless　yo'　life；　all　about　a　woman；　too；　every　last　word　of　it。　Well；　well；　meanin'　no　disrespect　to　you；　Susan；　it's　a　queer　thing　that　a　man　can't　be　born；　married；　or　buried　without　a　woman　gittin'　herself　mixed　up　in　the　business。　If　she　ain't　wrappin'　you　in