a woman of thirty-第21部分

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ellectual　gains　and　achievements　are　but　later　and　tangible　developments。

For　a　young　man　a　woman　of　thirty　has　irresistible　attractions。　There　is　nothing　more　natural；　nothing　better　established；　no　human　tie　of　stouter　tissue　than　the　heart…deep　attachment　between　such　a　woman　as　the　Marquise　d'Aiglemont　and　such　a　man　as　Charles　de　Vandenesse。　You　can　see　examples　of　it　every　day　in　the　world。　A　girl；　as　a　matter　of　fact；　has　too　many　young　illusions；　she　is　too　inexperienced；　the　instinct　of　sex　counts　for　too　much　in　her　love　for　a　young　man　to　feel　flattered　by　it。　A　woman　of　thirty　knows　all　that　is　involved　in　the　self…surrender　to　be　made。　Among　the　impulses　of　the　first；　put　curiosity　and　other　motives　than　love；　the　second　acts　with　integrity　of　sentiment。　The　first　yields；　the　second　makes　deliberate　choice。　Is　not　that　choice　in　itself　an　immense　flattery？　A　woman　armed　with　experience；　forewarned　by　knowledge；　almost　always　dearly　bought；　seems　to　give　more　than　herself；　while　the　inexperienced　and　credulous　girl；　unable　to　draw　comparisons　for　lack　of　knowledge；　can　appreciate　nothing　at　its　just　worth。　She　accepts　love　and　ponders　it。　A　woman　is　a　counselor　and　a　guide　at　an　age　when　we　love　to　be　guided　and　obedience　is　delight；　while　a　girl　would　fain　learn　all　things；　meeting　us　with　a　girl's　/naivete/　instead　of　a　woman's　tenderness。　She　affords　a　single　triumph；　with　a　woman　there　is　resistance　upon　resistance　to　overcome；　she　has　but　joy　and　tears；　a　woman　has　rapture　and　remorse。

A　girl　cannot　play　the　part　of　a　mistress　unless　she　is　so　corrupt　that　we　turn　from　her　with　loathing；　a　woman　has　a　thousand　ways　of　preserving　her　power　and　her　dignity；　she　has　risked　so　much　for　love；　that　she　must　bid　him　pass　through　his　myriad　transformations；　while　her　too　submissive　rival　gives　a　sense　of　too　serene　security　which　palls。　If　the　one　sacrifices　her　maidenly　pride；　the　other　immolates　the　honor　of　a　whole　family。　A　girl's　coquetry　is　of　the　simplest；　she　thinks　that　all　is　said　when　the　veil　is　laid　aside；　a　woman's　coquetry　is　endless；　she　shrouds　herself　in　veil　after　veil；　she　satisfies　every　demand　of　man's　vanity；　the　novice　responds　but　to　one。

And　there　are　terrors；　fears；　and　hesitationstrouble　and　storm　in　the　love　of　a　woman　of　thirty　years；　never　to　be　found　in　a　young　girl's　love。　At　thirty　years　a　woman　asks　her　lover　to　give　her　back　the　esteem　she　has　forfeited　for　his　sake；　she　lives　only　for　him；　her　thoughts　are　full　of　his　future；　he　must　have　a　great　career；　she　bids　him　make　it　glorious；　she　can　obey；　entreat；　command；　humble　herself；　or　rise　in　pride；　times　without　number　she　brings　comfort　when　a　young　girl　can　only　make　moan。　And　with　all　the　advantages　of　her　position；　the　woman　of　thirty　can　be　a　girl　again；　for　she　can　play　all　parts；　assume　a　girl's　bashfulness；　and　grow　the　fairer　even　for　a　mischance。

Between　these　two　feminine　types　lies　the　immeasurable　difference　which　separates　the　foreseen　from　the　unforeseen；　strength　from　weakness。　The　woman　of　thirty　satisfies　every　requirement；　the　young　girl　must　satisfy　none；　under　penalty　of　ceasing　to　be　a　young　girl。　Such　ideas　as　these；　developing　in　a　young　man's　mind；　help　to　strengthen　the　strongest　of　all　passions；　a　passion　in　which　all　spontaneous　and　natural　feeling　is　blended　with　the　artificial　sentiment　created　by　conventional　manners。

The　most　important　and　decisive　step　in　a　woman's　life　is　the　very　one　that　she　invariably　regards　as　the　most　insignificant。　After　her　marriage　she　is　no　longer　her　own　mistress；　she　is　the　queen　and　the　bond…slave　of　the　domestic　hearth。　The　sanctity　of　womanhood　is　incompatible　with　social　liberty　and　social　claims；　and　for　a　woman　emancipation　means　corruption。　If　you　give　a　stranger　the　right　of　entry　into　the　sanctuary　of　home；　do　you　not　put　yourself　at　his　mercy？　How　then　if　she　herself　bids　him　enter　it？　Is　not　this　an　offence；　or；　to　speak　more　accurately；　a　first　step　towards　an　offence？　You　must　either　accept　this　theory　with　all　its　consequences；　or　absolve　illicit　passion。　French　society　hitherto　has　chosen　the　third　and　middle　course　of　looking　on　and　laughing　when　offences　come；　apparently　upon　the　Spartan　principle　of　condoning　the　theft　and　punishing　clumsiness。　And　this　system；　it　may　be；　is　a　very　wise　one。　'Tis　a　most　appalling　punishment　to　have　all　your　neighbors　pointing　the　finger　of　scorn　at　you；　a　punishment　that　a　woman　feels　in　her　very　heart。　Women　are　tenacious；　and　all　of　them　should　be　tenacious　of　respect；　without　esteem　they　cannot　exist；　esteem　is　the　first　demand　that　they　make　of　love。　The　most　corrupt　among　them　feels　that　she　must；　in　the　first　place；　pledge　the　future　to　buy　absolution　for　the　past；　and　strives　to　make　her　lover　understand　that　only　for　irresistible　bliss　can　she　barter　the　respect　which　the　world　henceforth　will　refuse　to　her。

Some　such　reflections　cross　the　mind　of　any　woman　who　for　the　first　time　and　alone　receives　a　visit　from　a　young　man；　and　this　especially　when；　like　Charles　de　Vandenesse；　the　visitor　is　handsome　or　clever。　And　similarly　there　are　not　many　young　men　who　would　fail　to　base　some　secret　wish　on　one　of　the　thousand　and　one　ideas　which　justify　the　instinct　that　attracts　them　to　a　beautiful；　witty；　and　unhappy　woman　like　the　Marquise　d'Aiglemont。

Mme。　d'Aiglemont；　therefore；　felt　troubled　when　M。　de　Vandenesse　was　announced；　and　as　for　him；　he　was　almost　confused　in　spite　of　the　assurance　which　is　like　a　matter　of　costume　for　a　diplomatist。　But　not　for　long。　The　Marquise　took　refuge　at　once　in　the　friendliness　of　manner　which　women　use　as　a　defence　against　the　misinterpretations　of　fatuity；　a　manner　which　admits　of　no　afterthought；　while　it　paves　the　way　to　sentiment　（to　make　use　of　a　figure　of　speech）；　tempering　the　transition　through　the　ordinary　forms　of　politeness。　In　this　ambiguous　position；　where　the　four　roads　leading　respectively　to　Indifference；　Respect；　Wonder；　and　Passion　meet；　a　woman　may　stay　as　long　as　she　pleases；　but　only　at　thirty　years　does　she　understand　all　the　possibilities　of　the　situation。　Laughter；　tenderness；　and　jest　are　all　permitted　to　her　at　the　crossing　of　the　ways；　she　has　acquired　the　tact　by　which　she　finds　all　the　responsive　chords　in　a　man's　nature；　and　skill　in　judging　the　sounds　which　she　draws　forth。　Her　silence　is　as　dangerous　as　her　speech。　You　will　never　read　her　at　that　age；　nor　discover　if　she　is　frank　or　false；　nor　how　far　she　is　serious　in　her　admissions　or　merely　laughing　at　you。　She　gives　you　the　right　to　engage　in　a　game　of　fence　with　her；　and　suddenly　by　a　glance；　a　gesture　of　proved　potency；　she　closes　the　combat　and　turns　from　you　with　your　secret　in　her　keeping；　free　to　offer　you　up　in　a　jest；　free　to　interest　herself　in　you；　safe　alike　in　her　weakness　and　your　strength。

Although　the　Marquise　d'Aiglemont　took　up　her　position　upon　this　neutral　ground　during　the　first　interview；　she　knew　how　to　preserve　a　high　womanly　dignity。　The　sorrows　of　which　she　never　spoke　seemed　to　hang　over　her　assumed　gaiety　like　a　light　cloud　obscuring　the　sun。　When　Vandenesse　went　out；　after　a　conversation　which　he　had　enjoyed　more　than　he　had　thought　possible；　he　carried　with　him　the　conviction　that　this　was　like　to　be　too　costly　a　conquest　for　his　aspirations。

〃It　would　mean　sentiment　from　here　to　yonder；〃　he　thought；　〃and　correspondence　enough　to　wear　out　a　deputy　second…clerk　on　his　promotion。　And　yet　if　I　really　cared〃

Luckless　phrase　that　has　been　the　ruin　of　many　an　infatuated　mortal。　In　France　the　way　to　love　lies　through　self…love。　Charles　went　back　to　Mme。　d'Aiglemont；　and　imagined　that　she　showed　symptoms　of　pleasure　in　his　conversion。　And　then；　instead　of　giving　himself　up　like　a　boy　to　the　joy　of　falling　in　love；　he　tried　to　play　a　double　role。　He　did　his　best　to　act　passion　and　to　keep　cool　enough　to　analyze　the　progress　of　this　flirtation；　to　be　lover　and　diplomatist　at　once；　but　youth　and　hot　blood　and　analysis　could　only　end　in　one　way；　over　head　and　ears　in　love；　for；　natural　or　artificial；　the　Marquise　was　more　than　his　match。　Each　time　he　went　out　from　Mme。　d'Aiglemont；　he　strenuously　held　himself　to　his　distrust；　and　submitted　the　progressive　situations　of　his　case　to　a　rigorous　scrutiny　fatal　to　his　own　emotions。

〃To…day　she　gave　me　to　understand　that　she　has　been　very　unhappy　and　lonely；〃　said　he　to　himself；　after　the　third　visit；　〃and　that　but　for　her　little　girl　she　would　have　longed　for　death。　She　was　perfectly　resigned。　Now　as　I　am　neither　her　brother　nor　her　spiritual　director；　why　should　she　confide　her　troubles　to　/me/？　She　loves　me。〃

Two　days　later　he　came　away　apostrophizing　modern　manners。

〃Love　takes　on　the　hue　of　every　age。　In　1822　love　is　a　doctrinaire。　Instead　of　proving　love　by　deeds；　as　in　times　past；　we　have　taken　to　argument　and　rhetoric　and　debate。　Women's　tactics　are　reduced　to　three　shifts。　In　the　first　place；　they　declare　that　we　cannot　love　as　they　love。　（Coquetry！　the　Marquise　simply　threw　it　at　me；　like　a　challenge；　this　evening！）　Next　they　grow　pathetic；　to　appeal　to　our　natural　generosity　or　self…love；　for　does　it　not　flatter　a　young　man's　vanity　to　console　a　woman　for　a　great　calamity？　And　lastly；　they　have　a　craze　for　virginity。　She　must　have　thought　that　I　thought　her　very　innocent。　My　good　faith　is　like　to　become　an　excellent　speculation。〃

But　a　day　came　when　every　suspicious　idea　was　exhausted。　He　asked　himself　whether　the　Marquise　was　not　sincere；　whether　so　much　suffering　could　be　feigned；　and　why　she　should　act　the　part　of　resignation？　She　lived　in　complete　seclusion；　she　drank　in　silence　of　a　cup　of　sorrow　scarcely　to　be　guessed　unless　from　the　accent　of　some　chance　exclamation　in　a　voice　always　well　under　control。　From　that　moment　Charles　felt　a　keen　interest　in　Mme。　d'Aiglemont。　And　yet；　though　his　visits　had　come　to　be　a　recognized　thing；　and　in　some　sort　a　necessity　to　them　both；　and　though　the　hour　was　kept　free　by　tacit　agreement；　Vandenesse　still　thought　that　this　woman　with　whom　he　was　in　love　was　more　clever　than　sincere。　〃Decidedly；　she　is　an　uncommonly　clever　woman；〃　he　used　to　say　to　himself　as　he　went　away。

When　he　came　into　the　room；　there　was　the　Marquise　in　her　favorite　attitude；　me