the way of all flesh-第22部分

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Theobald　most　warmly；　and　assured　him　that　he　valued　him　as　among
the　most　hard…working　and　devoted　of　his　parochial　clergy。
Christina　of　course　was　delighted；　and　gave　me　to　understand　that　it
was　only　an　instalment　of　the　much　higher　dignities　which　were　in
store　for　Theobald　when　his　merits　were　more　widely　known。

I　did　not　then　foresee　how　closely　my　godson's　life　and　mine　were　in
after　years　to　be　bound　up　together；　if　I　had；　I　should　doubtless
have　looked　upon　him　with　different　eyes　and　noted　much　to　which　I
paid　no　attention　at　the　time。　　As　it　was；　I　was　glad　to　get　away
from　him；　for　I　could　do　nothing　for　him；　or　chose　to　say　that　I
could　not；　and　the　sight　of　so　much　suffering　was　painful　to　me。　　A
man　should　not　only　have　his　own　way　as　far　as　possible；　but　he
should　only　consort　with　things　that　are　getting　their　own　way　so
far　that　they　are　at　any　rate　comfortable。　　Unless　for　short　times
under　exceptional　circumstances；　he　should　not　even　see　things　that
have　been　stunted　or　starved；　much　less　should　he　eat　meat　that　has
been　vexed　by　having　been　over…driven　or　underfed；　or　afflicted　with
any　disease；　nor　should　he　touch　vegetables　that　have　not　been　well
grown。　　For　all　these　things　cross　a　man；　whatever　a　man　comes　in
contact　with　in　any　way　forms　a　cross　with　him　which　will　leave　him
better　or　worse；　and　the　better　things　he　is　crossed　with　the　more
likely　he　is　to　live　long　and　happily。　　All　things　must　be　crossed　a
little　or　they　would　cease　to　livebut　holy　things；　such　for
example　as　Giovanni　Bellini's　saints；　have　been　crossed　with　nothing
but　what　is　good　of　its　kind；



CHAPTER　XXIV



The　storm　which　I　have　described　in　the　previous　chapter　was　a
sample　of　those　that　occurred　daily　for　many　years。　　No　matter　how
clear　the　sky；　it　was　always　liable　to　cloud　over　now　in　one　quarter
now　in　another；　and　the　thunder　and　lightning　were　upon　the　young
people　before　they　knew　where　they　were。

〃And　then；　you　know；〃　said　Ernest　to　me；　when　I　asked　him　not　long
since　to　give　me　more　of　his　childish　reminiscences　for　the　benefit
of　my　story；　〃we　used　to　learn　Mrs　Barbauld's　hymns；　they　were　in
prose；　and　there　was　one　about　the　lion　which　began；　'Come；　and　I
will　show　you　what　is　strong。　　The　lion　is　strong；　when　he　raiseth
himself　from　his　lair；　when　he　shaketh　his　mane；　when　the　voice　of
his　roaring　is　heard　the　cattle　of　the　field　fly；　and　the　beasts　of
the　desert　hide　themselves；　for　he　is　very　terrible。'　　I　used　to　say
this　to　Joey　and　Charlotte　about　my　father　himself　when　I　got　a
little　older；　but　they　were　always　didactic；　and　said　it　was　naughty
of　me。

〃One　great　reason　why　clergymen's　households　are　generally　unhappy
is　because　the　clergyman　is　so　much　at　home　or　close　about　the
house。　　The　doctor　is　out　visiting　patients　half　his　time：　　the
lawyer　and　the　merchant　have　offices　away　from　home；　but　the
clergyman　has　no　official　place　of　business　which　shall　ensure　his
being　away　from　home　for　many　hours　together　at　stated　times。　　Our
great　days　were　when　my　father　went　for　a　day's　shopping　to
Gildenham。　　We　were　some　miles　from　this　place；　and　commissions　used
to　accumulate　on　my　father's　list　till　he　would　make　a　day　of　it　and
go　and　do　the　lot。　　As　soon　as　his　back　was　turned　the　air　felt
lighter；　as　soon　as　the　hall　door　opened　to　let　him　in　again；　the
law　with　its　all…reaching　'touch　not；　taste　not；　handle　not'　was
upon　us　again。　　The　worst　of　it　was　that　I　could　never　trust　Joey
and　Charlotte；　they　would　go　a　good　way　with　me　and　then　turn　back；
or　even　the　whole　way　and　then　their　consciences　would　compel　them
to　tell　papa　and　mamma。　　They　liked　running　with　the　hare　up　to　a
certain　point；　but　their　instinct　was　towards　the　hounds。

〃It　seems　to　me；〃　he　continued；　〃that　the　family　is　a　survival　of
the　principle　which　is　more　logically　embodied　in　the　compound
animaland　the　compound　animal　is　a　form　of　life　which　has　been
found　incompatible　with　high　development。　　I　would　do　with　the
family　among　mankind　what　nature　has　done　with　the　compound　animal；
and　confine　it　to　the　lower　and　less　progressive　races。　　Certainly
there　is　no　inherent　love　for　the　family　system　on　the　part　of
nature　herself。　　Poll　the　forms　of　life　and　you　will　find　it　in　a
ridiculously　small　minority。　　The　fishes　know　it　not；　and　they　get
along　quite　nicely。　　The　ants　and　the　bees；　who　far　outnumber　man；
sting　their　fathers　to　death　as　a　matter　of　course；　and　are　given　to
the　atrocious　mutilation　of　nine…tenths　of　the　offspring　committed
to　their　charge；　yet　where　shall　we　find　communities　more
universally　respected？　　Take　the　cuckoo　againis　there　any　bird
which　we　like　better？〃

I　saw　he　was　running　off　from　his　own　reminiscences　and　tried　to
bring　him　back　to　them；　but　it　was　no　use。

〃What　a　fool；〃　he　said；　〃a　man　is　to　remember　anything　that　happened
more　than　a　week　ago　unless　it　was　pleasant；　or　unless　he　wants　to
make　some　use　of　it。

〃Sensible　people　get　the　greater　part　of　their　own　dying　done　during
their　own　lifetime。　　A　man　at　five　and　thirty　should　no　more　regret
not　having　had　a　happier　childhood　than　he　should　regret　not　having
been　born　a　prince　of　the　blood。　　He　might　be　happier　if　he　had　been
more　fortunate　in　childhood；　but；　for　aught　he　knows；　if　he　had；
something　else　might　have　happened　which　might　have　killed　him　long
ago。　　If　I　had　to　be　born　again　I　would　be　born　at　Battersby　of　the
same　father　and　mother　as　before；　and　I　would　not　alter　anything
that　has　ever　happened　to　me。〃

The　most　amusing　incident　that　I　can　remember　about　his　childhood
was　that　when　he　was　about　seven　years　old　he　told　me　he　was　going
to　have　a　natural　child。　　I　asked　him　his　reasons　for　thinking　this；
and　he　explained　that　papa　and　mamma　had　always　told　him　that　nobody
had　children　till　they　were　married；　and　as　long　as　he　had　believed
this　of　course　he　had　had　no　idea　of　having　a　child；　till　he　was
grown　up；　but　not　long　since　he　had　been　reading　Mrs　Markham's
history　of　England　and　had　come　upon　the　words　〃John　of　Gaunt　had
several　natural　children〃　he　had　therefore　asked　his　governess　what
a　natural　child　waswere　not　all　children　natural？

〃Oh；　my　dear；〃　said　she；　〃a　natural　child　is　a　child　a　person　has
before　he　is　married。〃　　On　this　it　seemed　to　follow　logically　that
if　John　of　Gaunt　had　had　children　before　he　was　married；　he；　Ernest
Pontifex；　might　have　them　also；　and　he　would　be　obliged　to　me　if　I
would　tell　him　what　he　had　better　do　under　the　circumstances。

I　enquired　how　long　ago　he　had　made　this　discovery。　　He　said　about　a
fortnight；　and　he　did　not　know　where　to　look　for　the　child；　for　it
might　come　at　any　moment。　　〃You　know；〃　he　said；　〃babies　come　so
suddenly；　one　goes　to　bed　one　night　and　next　morning　there　is　a
baby。　　Why；　it　might　die　of　cold　if　we　are　not　on　the　look…out　for
it。　　I　hope　it　will　be　a　boy。〃

〃And　you　have　told　your　governess　about　this？〃

〃Yes；　but　she　puts　me　off　and　does　not　help　me：　　she　says　it　will
not　come　for　many　years；　and　she　hopes　not　then。〃

〃Are　you　quite　sure　that　you　have　not　made　any　mistake　in　all　this？〃

〃Oh；　no；　because　Mrs　Burne；　you　know；　called　here　a　few　days　ago；
and　I　was　sent　for　to　be　looked　at。　　And　mamma　held　me　out　at　arm's
length　and　said；　'Is　he　Mr　Pontifex's　child；　Mrs　Burne；　or　is　he
mine？'　　Of　course；　she　couldn't　have　said　this　if　papa　had　not　had
some　of　the　children　himself。　　I　did　think　the　gentleman　had　all　the
boys　and　the　lady　all　the　girls；　but　it　can't　be　like　this；　or　else
mamma　would　not　have　asked　Mrs　Burne　to　guess；　but　then　Mrs　Burne
said；　'Oh；　he's　Mr　Pontifex's　child　OF　COURSE；'　and　I　didn't　quite
know　what　she　meant　by　saying　'of　course'：　　it　seemed　as　though　I
was　right　in　thinking　that　the　husband　has　all　the　boys　and　the　wife
all　the　girls；　I　wish　you　would　explain　to　me　all　about　it。〃

This　I　could　hardly　do；　so　I　changed　the　conversation；　after
reassuring　him　as　best　I　could。



CHAPTER　XXV



Three　or　four　years　after　the　birth　of　her　daughter；　Christina　had
had　one　more　child。　　She　had　never　been　strong　since　she　married；
and　had　a　presentiment　that　she　should　not　survive　this　last
confinement。　　She　accordingly　wrote　the　following　letter；　which　was
to　be　given；　as　she　endorsed　upon　it；　to　her　sons　when　Ernest　was
sixteen　years　old。　　It　reached　him　on　his　mother's　death　many　years
later；　for　it　was　the　baby　who　died　now；　and　not　Christina。　　It　was
found　among　papers　which　she　had　repeatedly　and　carefully　arranged；
with　the　seal　already　broken。　　This；　I　am　afraid；　shows　that
Christina　had　read　it　and　thought　it　too　creditable　to　be　destroyed
when　the　occasion　that　had　called　it　forth　had　gone　by。　　It　is　as
follows　…


〃BATTERSBY；　March　15th；　1841。

〃My　Two　Dear　Boys；When　this　is　put　into　your　hands　will　you　try　to
bring　to　mind　the　mother　whom　you　lost　in　your　childhood；　and　whom；
I　fear；　you　will　almost　have　forgotten？　　You；　Ernest；　will　remember
her　best；　for　you　are　past　five　years　old；　and　the　many；　many　times
that　she　has　taught　you　your　prayers　and　hymns　and　sums　and　told　you
stories；　and　our　happy　Sunday　evenings　will　not　quite　have　passed
from　your　mind；　and　you；　Joey；　though　only　four；　will　perhaps
recollect　some　of　these　things。　　My　dear；　dear　boys；　for　the　sake　of
that　mother　who　loved　you　very　dearlyand　for　the　sake　of　your　own
happiness　for　ever　and　everattend　to　and　try　to　remember；　and　from
time　to　time　read　over　again　the　last　words　she　can　ever　speak　to
you。　　When　I　think　about　leaving　you　all；　two　things　press　heavily
upon　me：　　one；　your　father's　sorrow　（for　you；　my　darlings；　after
missing　me　a　little　while；　will　soon　forget　your　loss）；　the　other；
the　everlasting　welfare　of　my　children。　　I　know　how　long　and　deep
the　former　will　be；　and　I　know　that　he　will　look　to　his　children　to
be　almost　his　only　earthly　comfort。　　You　know　（for　I　am　certain　that
it　will　have　been　so）；　how　he　has　devoted　his　life　to　you　and　taught
you　and　laboured　to　lead　you　to　all　that　is　right　and　good。　　Oh；
then；　be　sure　that　you　ARE　his　comforts。　　Let　him　find　you　obedient；
affectionate　and　attentive　to　his　wishes；　upright；　self…denying　and
diligent；　let　him　never　blush　for　or　gr