the way of all flesh-第24部分

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CHAPTER　XXVII



I　will　give　no　more　of　the　details　of　my　hero's　earlier　years。
Enough　that　he　struggled　through　them；　and　at　twelve　years　old　knew
every　page　of　his　Latin　and　Greek　Grammars　by　heart。　　He　had　read
the　greater　part　of　Virgil；　Horace　and　Livy；　and　I　do　not　know　how
many　Greek　plays：　　he　was　proficient　in　arithmetic；　knew　the　first
four　books　of　Euclid　thoroughly；　and　had　a　fair　knowledge　of　French。
It　was　now　time　he　went　to　school；　and　to　school　he　was　accordingly
to　go；　under　the　famous　Dr　Skinner　of　Roughborough。

Theobald　had　known　Dr　Skinner　slightly　at　Cambridge。　　He　had　been　a
burning　and　a　shining　light　in　every　position　he　had　filled　from　his
boyhood　upwards。　　He　was　a　very　great　genius。　　Everyone　knew　this；
they　said；　indeed；　that　he　was　one　of　the　few　people　to　whom　the
word　genius　could　be　applied　without　exaggeration。　　Had　he　not　taken
I　don't　know　how　many　University　Scholarships　in　his　freshman's
year？　　Had　he　not　been　afterwards　Senior　Wrangler；　First
Chancellor's　Medallist　and　I　do　not　know　how　many　more　things
besides？　　And　then；　he　was　such　a　wonderful　speaker；　at　the　Union
Debating　Club　he　had　been　without　a　rival；　and　had；　of　course；　been
president；　his　moral　character；a　point　on　which　so　many　geniuses
were　weakwas　absolutely　irreproachable；　foremost　of　all；　however；
among　his　many　great　qualities；　and　perhaps　more　remarkable　even
than　his　genius　was　what　biographers　have　called　〃the　simple…minded
and　child…like　earnestness　of　his　character；〃　an　earnestness　which
might　be　perceived　by　the　solemnity　with　which　he　spoke　even　about
trifles。　　It　is　hardly　necessary　to　say　he　was　on　the　Liberal　side
in　politics。

His　personal　appearance　was　not　particularly　prepossessing。　　He　was
about　the　middle　height；　portly；　and　had　a　couple　of　fierce　grey
eyes；　that　flashed　fire　from　beneath　a　pair　of　great　bushy　beetling
eyebrows　and　overawed　all　who　came　near　him。　　It　was　in　respect　of
his　personal　appearance；　however；　that；　if　he　was　vulnerable　at　all；
his　weak　place　was　to　be　found。　　His　hair　when　he　was　a　young　man
was　red；　but　after　he　had　taken　his　degree　he　had　a　brain　fever
which　caused　him　to　have　his　head　shaved；　when　he　reappeared；　he　did
so　wearing　a　wig；　and　one　which　was　a　good　deal　further　off　red　than
his　own　hair　had　been。　　He　not　only　had　never　discarded　his　wig；　but
year　by　year　it　had　edged　itself　a　little　more　and　a　little　more　off
red；　till　by　the　time　he　was　forty；　there　was　not　a　trace　of　red
remaining；　and　his　wig　was　brown。

When　Dr　Skinner　was　a　very　young　man；　hardly　more　than　five…and…
twenty；　the　head…mastership　of　Roughborough　Grammar　School　had
fallen　vacant；　and　he　had　been　unhesitatingly　appointed。　　The　result
justified　the　selection。　　Dr　Skinner's　pupils　distinguished
themselves　at　whichever　University　they　went　to。　　He　moulded　their
minds　after　the　model　of　his　own；　and　stamped　an　impression　upon
them　which　was　indelible　in　after…life；　whatever　else　a　Roughborough
man　might　be；　he　was　sure　to　make　everyone　feel　that　he　was　a　God…
fearing　earnest　Christian　and　a　Liberal；　if　not　a　Radical；　in
politics。　　Some　boys；　of　course；　were　incapable　of　appreciating　the
beauty　and　loftiness　of　Dr　Skinner's　nature。　　Some　such　boys；　alas！
there　will　be　in　every　school；　upon　them　Dr　Skinner's　hand　was　very
properly　a　heavy　one。　　His　hand　was　against　them；　and　theirs　against
him　during　the　whole　time　of　the　connection　between　them。　　They　not
only　disliked　him；　but　they　hated　all　that　he　more　especially
embodied；　and　throughout　their　lives　disliked　all　that　reminded　them
of　him。　　Such　boys；　however；　were　in　a　minority；　the　spirit　of　the
place　being　decidedly　Skinnerian。

I　once　had　the　honour　of　playing　a　game　of　chess　with　this　great
man。　　It　was　during　the　Christmas　holidays；　and　I　had　come　down　to
Roughborough　for　a　few　days　to　see　Alethea　Pontifex　（who　was　then
living　there）　on　business。　　It　was　very　gracious　of　him　to　take
notice　of　me；　for　if　I　was　a　light　of　literature　at　all　it　was　of
the　very　lightest　kind。

It　is　true　that　in　the　intervals　of　business　I　had　written　a　good
deal；　but　my　works　had　been　almost　exclusively　for　the　stage；　and
for　those　theatres　that　devoted　themselves　to　extravaganza　and
burlesque。　　I　had　written　many　pieces　of　this　description；　full　of
puns　and　comic　songs；　and　they　had　had　a　fair　success；　but　my　best
piece　had　been　a　treatment　of　English　history　during　the　Reformation
period；　in　the　course　of　which　I　had　introduced　Cranmer；　Sir　Thomas
More；　Henry　the　Eighth；　Catherine　of　Arragon；　and　Thomas　Cromwell
（in　his　youth　better　known　as　the　Malleus　Monachorum）；　and　had　made
them　dance　a　break…down。　　I　had　also　dramatised　〃The　Pilgrim's
Progress〃　for　a　Christmas　Pantomime；　and　made　an　important　scene　of
Vanity　Fair；　with　Mr　Greatheart；　Apollyon；　Christiana；　Mercy；　and
Hopeful　as　the　principal　characters。　　The　orchestra　played　music
taken　from　Handel's　best　known　works；　but　the　time　was　a　good　deal
altered；　and　altogether　the　tunes　were　not　exactly　as　Handel　left
them。　　Mr　Greatheart　was　very　stout　and　he　had　a　red　nose；　he　wore　a
capacious　waistcoat；　and　a　shirt　with　a　huge　frill　down　the　middle
of　the　front。　　Hopeful　was　up　to　as　much　mischief　as　I　could　give
him；　he　wore　the　costume　of　a　young　swell　of　the　period；　and　had　a
cigar　in　his　mouth　which　was　continually　going　out。

Christiana　did　not　wear　much　of　anything：　　indeed　it　was　said　that
the　dress　which　the　Stage　Manager　had　originally　proposed　for　her
had　been　considered　inadequate　even　by　the　Lord　Chamberlain；　but
this　is　not　the　case。　　With　all　these　delinquencies　upon　my　mind　it
was　natural　that　I　should　feel　convinced　of　sin　while　playing　chess
（which　I　hate）　with　the　great　Dr　Skinner　of　Roughboroughthe
historian　of　Athens　and　editor　of　Demosthenes。　　Dr　Skinner；
moreover；　was　one　of　those　who　pride　themselves　on　being　able　to　set
people　at　their　ease　at　once；　and　I　had　been　sitting　on　the　edge　of
my　chair　all　the　evening。　　But　I　have　always　been　very　easily
overawed　by　a　schoolmaster。

The　game　had　been　a　long　one；　and　at　half…past　nine；　when　supper
came　in；　we　had　each　of　us　a　few　pieces　remaining。　　〃What　will　you
take　for　supper；　Dr　Skinner？〃　said　Mrs　Skinner　in　a　silvery　voice。

He　made　no　answer　for　some　time；　but　at　last　in　a　tone　of　almost
superhuman　solemnity；　he　said；　first；　〃Nothing；〃　and　then　〃Nothing
whatever。〃

By　and　by；　however；　I　had　a　sense　come　over　me　as　though　I　were
nearer　the　consummation　of　all　things　than　I　had　ever　yet　been。　　The
room　seemed　to　grow　dark；　as　an　expression　came　over　Dr　Skinner's
face；　which　showed　that　he　was　about　to　speak。　　The　expression
gathered　force；　the　room　grew　darker　and　darker。　　〃Stay；〃　he　at
length　added；　and　I　felt　that　here　at　any　rate　was　an　end　to　a
suspense　which　was　rapidly　becoming　unbearable。　　〃StayI　may
presently　take　a　glass　of　cold　waterand　a　small　piece　of　bread　and
butter。〃

As　he　said　the　word　〃butter〃　his　voice　sank　to　a　hardly　audible
whisper；　then　there　was　a　sigh　as　though　of　relief　when　the　sentence
was　concluded；　and　the　universe　this　time　was　safe。

Another　ten　minutes　of　solemn　silence　finished　the　game。　　The　Doctor
rose　briskly　from　his　seat　and　placed　himself　at　the　supper　table。
〃Mrs　Skinner；〃　he　exclaimed　jauntily；　〃what　are　those　mysterious…
looking　objects　surrounded　by　potatoes？〃

〃Those　are　oysters；　Dr　Skinner。〃

〃Give　me　some；　and　give　Overton　some。〃

And　so　on　till　he　had　eaten　a　good　plate　of　oysters；　a　scallop　shell
of　minced　veal　nicely　browned；　some　apple　tart；　and　a　hunk　of　bread
and　cheese。　　This　was　the　small　piece　of　bread　and　butter。

The　cloth　was　now　removed　and　tumblers　with　teaspoons　in　them；　a
lemon　or　two　and　a　jug　of　boiling　water　were　placed　upon　the　table。
Then　the　great　man　unbent。　　His　face　beamed。

〃And　what　shall　it　be　to　drink？〃　he　exclaimed　persuasively。　　〃Shall
it　be　brandy　and　water？　　No。　　It　shall　be　gin　and　water。　　Gin　is　the
more　wholesome　liquor。〃

So　gin　it　was；　hot　and　stiff　too。

Who　can　wonder　at　him　or　do　anything　but　pity　him？　　Was　he　not　head…
master　of　Roughborough　School？　　To　whom　had　he　owed　money　at　any
time？　　Whose　ox　had　he　taken；　whose　ass　had　he　taken；　or　whom　had　he
defrauded？　　What　whisper　had　ever　been　breathed　against　his　moral
character？　　If　he　had　become　rich　it　was　by　the　most　honourable　of
all　meanshis　literary　attainments；　over　and　above　his　great　works
of　scholarship；　his　〃Meditations　upon　the　Epistle　and　Character　of
St　Jude〃　had　placed　him　among　the　most　popular　of　English
theologians；　it　was　so　exhaustive　that　no　one　who　bought　it　need
ever　meditate　upon　the　subject　againindeed　it　exhausted　all　who
had　anything　to　do　with　it。　　He　had　made　5000　pounds　by　this　work
alone；　and　would　very　likely　make　another　5000　pounds　before　he
died。　　A　man　who　had　done　all　this　and　wanted　a　piece　of　bread　and
butter　had　a　right　to　announce　the　fact　with　some　pomp　and
circumstance。　　Nor　should　his　words　be　taken　without　searching　for
what　he　used　to　call　a　〃deeper　and　more　hidden　meaning。〃　　Those　who
searched　for　this　even　in　his　lightest　utterances　would　not　be
without　their　reward。　　They　would　find　that　〃bread　and　butter〃　was
Skinnerese　for　oyster…patties　and　apple　tart；　and　〃gin　hot〃　the　true
translation　of　water。

But　independently　of　their　money　value；　his　works　had　made　him　a
lasting　name　in　literature。　　So　probably　Gallio　was　under　the
impression　that　his　fame　would　rest　upon　the　treatises　on　natural
history　which　we　gather　from　Seneca　that　he　compiled；　and　which　for
aught　we　know　may　have　contained　a　complete　theory　of　evolution；　but
the　treatises　are　all　gone　and　Gallio　has　become　immortal　for　the
very　last　reason　in　the　world　that　he　expected；　and　for　the　very
last　reason　that　would　have　flattered　his　vanity。　　He　has　become
immortal　because　he　cared　nothing　about　the　most　important　movement
with　which　he　was　ever　brought　into　connection　（I　wish　people　who
are　in　search　of　immortality　would　lay　the　lesson　to　heart　and　not
make　so　much　noise　about　important　movements）；　and　so；　if　Dr　Skinner
becomes　immortal；　it　will　probably　be　for　some　reason　very　different
from　the　one　which　he　so　fondly　imagined。