the law and the lady-第34部分

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in　a　compromise。　They　occupied　an　hour　in　considering　and
debating　among　themselves　in　their　own　room。　（A　jury　of　women
would　not　have　taken　a　minute！）　Then　they　returned　into　Court；
and　gave　their　timid　and　trimming　Scotch　Verdict　in　these　words：

〃Not　Proven。〃

Some　slight　applause　followed　among　the　audience；　which　was
instantly　checked。　The　prisoner　was　dismissed　from　the　Bar。　He
slowly　retired；　like　a　man　in　deep　grief：　his　head　sunk　on　his
breastnot　looking　at　any　one；　and　not　replying　when　his　friends
spoke　to　him。　He　knew；　poor　fellow；　the　slur　that　the　Verdict
left　on　him。　〃We　don't　say　you　are　innocent　of　the　crime　charged
against　you；　we　only　say　there　is　not　evidence　enough　to　convict
you。〃　In　that　lame　and　impotent　conclusion　the　proceedings　ended
at　the　time。　And　there　they　would　have　remained　for　all　timebut
for　Me。



CHAPTER　XXI。

I　SEE　MY　WAY。

　IN　the　gray　light　of　the　new　morning　I　closed　the　Report　of　my
husband's　Trial　for　the　Murder　of　his　first　Wife。

No　sense　of　fatigue　overpowered　me。　I　had　no　wish；　after　my　long
hours　of　reading　and　thinking；　to　lie　down　and　sleep。　It　was
strange；　but　it　was　so。　I　felt　as　if　I　_had_　slept；　and　had　now
just　awakeneda　new　woman；　with　a　new　mind。

I　could　now　at　last　understand　Eustace's　desertion　of　me。　To　a
man　of　his　refinement　it　would　have　been　a　martyrdom　to　meet　his
wife　after　she　had　read　the　things　published　of　him　to　all　the
world　in　the　Report。　I　felt　that　as　he　would　have　felt　it。　At　the
same　time　I　thought　he　might　have　trusted　Me　to　make　amends　to
him　for　the　martyrdom；　and　might　have　come　back。　Perhaps　it　might
yet　end　in　his　coming　back。　In　the　meanwhile；　and　in　that
expectation；　I　pitied　and　forgave　him　with　my　whole　heart。

One　little　matter　only　dwelt　on　my　mind　disagreeably；　in　spite　of
my　philosophy。　Did　Eustace　still　secretly　love　Mrs。　Beauly？　or
had　I　extinguished　that　passion　in　him？　To　what　order　of　beauty
did　this　lady　belong？　Were　we　by　any　chance；　the　least　in　the
world　like　one　another？

The　window　of　my　room　looked　to　the　east。　I　drew　up　the　blind；
and　saw　the　sun　rising　grandly　in　a　clear　sky。　The　temptation　to
go　out　and　breathe　the　fresh　morning　air　was　irresistible。　I　put
on　my　hat　and　shawl；　and　took　the　Report　of　the　Trial　under　my
arm。　The　bolts　of　the　back　door　were　easily　drawn。　In　another
minute　I　was　out　in　Benjamin's　pretty　little　garden。

Composed　and　strengthened　by　the　inviting　solitude　and　the
delicious　air；　I　found　courage　enough　to　face　the　serious
question　that　now　confronted　methe　question　of　the　future。

I　had　read　the　Trial。　I　had　vowed　to　devote　my　life　to　the　sacred
object　of　vindicating　my　husband's　innocence。　A　solitary；
defenseless　woman；　I　stood　pledged　to　myself　to　carry　that
desperate　resolution　through　to　an　end。　How　was　I　to　begin？

The　bold　way　of　beginning　was　surely　the　wise　way　in　such　a
position　as　mine。　I　had　good　reasons　（founded；　as　I　have　already
mentioned；　on　the　important　part　played　by　this　witness　at　the
Trial）　for　believing　that　the　fittest　person　to　advise　and　assist
me　wasMiserrimus　Dexter。　He　might　disappoint　the　expectations
that　I　had　fixed　on　him；　or　he　might　refuse　to　help　me；　or　（like
my　uncle　Starkweather）　he　might　think　I　had　taken　leave　of　my
senses。　All　these　events　were　possible。　Nevertheless；　I　held　to
my　resolution　to　try　the　experiment。　If　he　were　in　the　land　of
the　living；　I　decided　that　my　first　step　at　starting　should　take
me　to　the　deformed　man　with　the　strange　name。

Supposing　he　received　me；　sympathized　with　me；　understood　me？
What　would　he　say？　The　nurse；　in　her　evidence；　had　reported　him
as　speaking　in　an　off…hand　manner。　He　would　say；　in　all
probability；　〃What　do　you　mean　to　do？　And　how　can　I　help　you　to
do　it？〃

Had　I　answers　ready　if　those　two　plain　questions　were　put　to　me？
Yes！　if　I　　dared　own　to　any　human　creatu　re　what　was　at　that　very
moment　secretly　fermenting　in　my　mind。　Yes！　if　I　could　confide　to
a　stranger　a　suspicion　roused　in　me　by　the　Trial　which　I　have
been　thus　far　afraid　to　mention　even　in　these　pages！

It　must；　nevertheless；　be　mentioned　now。　My　suspicion　led　to
results　which　are　part　of　my　story　and　part　of　my　life。

Let　me　own；　then；　to　begin　with；　that　I　closed　the　record　of　the
Trial　actually　agreeing　in　one　important　particular　with　the
opinion　of　my　enemy　and　my　husband's　enemythe　Lord　Advocate！　He
had　characterized　the　explanation　of　Mrs。　Eustace　Macallan's
death　offered　by　the　defense　as　a　〃clumsy　subterfuge；　in　which　no
reasonable　being　could　discern　the　smallest　fragment　of
probability。〃　Without　going　quite　so　far　as　this；　I；　too；　could
see　no　reason　whatever　in　the　evidence　for　assuming　that　the　poor
woman　had　taken　an　overdose　of　the　poison　by　mistake。　I　believed
that　she　had　the　arsenic　secretly　in　her　possession；　and　that　she
had　tried；　or　intended　to　try；　the　use　of　it　internally；　for　the
purpose　of　improving　her　complexion。　But　further　than　this　I
could　not　advance。　The　more　I　thought　of　it；　the　more　plainly
justified　the　lawyers　for　the　prosecution　seemed　to　me　to　be　in
declaring　that　Mrs。　Eustace　Macallan　had　died　by　the　hand　of　a
poisoneralthough　they　were　entirely　and　certainly　mistaken　in
charging　my　husband　with　the　crime。

My　husband　being　innocent；　somebody　else；　on　my　own　showing；　must
be　guilty。　Who　among　the　persons　inhabiting　the　house　at　the　time
had　poisoned　Mrs。　Eustace　Macallan？　My　suspicion　in　answering
that　question　pointed　straight　to　a　woman。　And　the　name　of　that
woman　wasMrs。　Beauly！

Yes！　To　that　startling　conclusion　I　had　arrived。　It　was；　to　my
mind；　the　inevitable　result　of　reading　the　evidence。

Look　back　for　a　moment　to　the　letter　produced　in　court；　signed
〃Helena；〃　and　addressed　to　Mr。　Macallan。　No　reasonable　person　can
doubt　（though　the　Judges　excused　her　from　answering　the　question）
that　Mrs。　Beauly　was　the　writer。　Very　well。　The　letter　offers；　as
I　think；　trustworthy　evidence　to　show　the　state　of　the　woman's
mind　when　she　paid　her　visit　to　Gleninch。

Writing　to　Mr。　Macallan；　at　a　time　when　she　was　married　to
another　mana　man　to　whom　she　had　engaged　herself　before　she　met
with　Mr。　Macallan　what　does　she　say？　She　says；　〃When　I　think　of
your　life　sacrificed　to　that　wretched　woman；　my　heart　bleeds　for
you。〃　And；　again；　she　says；　〃If　it　had　been　my　unutterable
happiness　to　love　and　cherish　the　best；　the　dearest　of　men；　what
a　paradise　of　our　own　we　might　have　lived　in；　what　delicious
hours　we　might　have　known！〃

If　this　is　not　the　language　of　a　woman　shamelessly　and　furiously
in　love　with　a　mannot　her　husbandwhat　is？　She　is　so　full　of
him　that　even　her　idea　of　another　world　（see　the　letter）　is　the
idea　of　〃embracing〃　Mr。　Macallan's　〃soul。〃　In　this　condition　of
mind　and　morals；　the　lady　one　day　finds　herself　and　her　embraces
free；　through　the　death　of　her　husband。　As　soon　as　she　can
decently　visit　she　goes　visiting；　and　in　due　course　of　time　she
becomes　the　guest　of　the　man　whom　she　adores。　His　wife　is　ill　in
her　bed。　The　one　other　visitor　at　Gleninch　is　a　cripple；　who　can
only　move　in　his　chair　on　wheels。　The　lady　has　the　house　and　the
one　beloved　object　in　it　all　to　herself。　No　obstacle　stands
between　her　and　〃the　unutterable　happiness　of　loving　and
cherishing　the　best；　the　dearest　of　men〃　but　a　poor；　sick；　ugly
wife；　for　whom　Mr。　Macallan　never　has　felt；　and　never　can　feel；
the　smallest　particle　of　love。

Is　it　perfectly　absurd　to　believe　that　such　a　woman　as　this；
impelled　by　these　motives；　and　surrounded　by　these　circumstances；
would　be　capable　of　committing　a　crimeif　the　safe　opportunity
offered　itself？

What　does　her　own　evidence　say？

She　admits　that　she　had　a　conversation　with　Mrs。　Eustace
Macallan；　in　which　that　lady　questioned　her　on　the　subject　of
cosmetic　applications　to　the　complexion。〃　Did　nothing　else　take
place　at　that　interview？　Did　Mrs。　Beauly　make　no　discoveries
（afterward　turned　to　fatal　account）　of　the　dangerous　experiment
which　her　hostess　was　then　trying　to　improve　her　ugly　complexion？
All　we　know　is　that　Mrs。　Beauly　said　nothing　about　it。

What　does　the　under…gardener　say？

He　heard　a　conversation　between　Mr。　Macallan　and　Mrs。　Beauly；
which　shows　that　the　possibility　of　Mrs。　Beauly　becoming　Mrs。
Eustace　Macallan　had　certainly　presented　itself　to　that　lady's
mind；　and　was　certainly　considered　by　her　to　be　too　dangerous　a
topic　of　discourse　to　be　pursued。　Innocent　Mr。　Macallan　would
have　gone　on　talking。　Mrs。　Beauly　is　discreet　and　stops　him。

And　what　does　the　nurse　（Christina　Ormsay）　tell　us？

On　the　day　of　Mrs。　Eustace　Macallan's　death；　the　nurse　is
dismissed　from　attendance；　and　is　sent　downstairs。　She　leaves　the
sick　woman；　recovered　from　her　first　attack　of　illness；　and　able
to　amuse　herself　with　writing。　The　nurse　remains　away　for　half　an
hour；　and　then　gets　uneasy　at　not　hearing　the　invalid's　bell。　She
goes　to　the　Morning…Room　to　consult　Mr。　Macallan；　and　there　she
hears　that　Mrs。　Beauly　is　missing。　Mr。　Macallan　doesn't　know
where　she　is；　and　asks　Mr。　Dexter　if　he　has　seen　her。　Mr。　Dexter
had　not　set　eyes　on　her。　At　what　time　does　the　disappearance　of
Mrs。　Beauly　take　place？　At　the　very　time　when　Christina　Ormsay
had　left　Mrs。　Eustace　Macallan　alone　in　her　room！

Meanwhile　the　bell　rings　at　lastrings　violently。　The　nurse　goes
back　to　the　sick…room　at　five　minutes　to　eleven；　or　thereabouts；
and　finds　that　the　bad　symptoms　of　the　morning　have　returned　in　a
gravely　aggravated　form。　A　second　dose　of　poisonlarger　than　the
dose　administered　in　the　early　morninghas　been　given　during　the
absence　of　the　nurse；　and　（observe）　during　the　disappearance　also
of　Mrs。　Beauly。　The　nurse　looking　out　into　the　corridor　for　help；
encounters　Mrs。　Beauly　herself；　innocently　on　her　way　from　her
own　roomjust　up；　we　are　to　suppose；　at　eleven　in　the
morning！to　inquire　after　the　sick　woman。

A　little　later　Mrs。　Beauly　accompanies　Mr。　Macallan　to　visit　the
invalid。　The　dying　woman　casts　a　strange　look　at　both　of　them；
and　tells　them　to　leave　her。　Mr。　Macallan　understands　this　as　the
fretful　outbreak　of　a　person　in　pain；　and　waits　in　the　room　to
tell　the　nurse　that　the　doctor　is　sent　for。　What　does　Mrs。　Beauly
do？

She　runs　out