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after　the　house　was　quiet　for　the　night。　Dexter　said　to　them；　'I
suppose　there　is　no　harm　in　my　going　into　the　study　to　read？　I
can't　sleep　after　what　has　happened；　I　must　relieve　my　mind
somehow。'　The　men　had　no　orders　to　keep　any　one　out　of　the　study。
They　knew　that　the　door　of　communication　with　the　bedchamber　was
locked；　and　that　the　keys　of　the　two　other　doors　of　communication
were　in　the　possession　of　Mr。　Gale。　They　accordingly　permitted
Dexter　to　go　into　the　study。　He　closed　the　door　（the　door　that
opened　on　the　corridor）；　and　remained　absent　for　some　timein
the　study　as　the　men　supposed；　in　the　bedchamber　as　we　know　from
what　he　let　out　at　his　interview　with　you。　Now　he　could　enter
that　room；　as　you　rightly　imagine；　in　but　one　wayby　being　in
possession　of　the　missing　key。　How　long　he　remained　there　I
cannot　discover。　The　point　is　of　little　consequence。　The　servant
remembers　that　he　came　out　of　the　study　again　'as　pale　as　death；'
and　that　he　passed　on　without　a　word　on　his　way　back　to　his　own
room。

〃These　are　facts。　The　conclusion　to　which　they　lead　is　serious　in
the　last　degree。　It　justifies　everything　that　I　confided　to　you
in　my　office　at　Edinburgh。　You　remember　what　passed　between　us。　I
say　no　more。

〃As　to　yourself　next。　You　have　innocently　aroused　in　Miserrimus
Dexter　a　feeling　toward　you　which　I　need　not　attempt　to
characterize。　There　is　a　certain　somethingI　saw　it　myselfin
your　figure；　and　in　some　of　your　movements；　which　does　recall　the
late　Mrs。　Eustace　to　those　who　knew　her　well；　and　which　has
evidently　had　its　effect　on　Dexter's　morbid　mind。　Without
dwelling　further　on　this　subject；　let　me　only　remind　you　that　he
has　shown　himself　（as　a　consequence　of　your　influence　over　him）
to　be　incapable；　in　his　moments　of　agitation；　of　thinking　before
he　speaks　while　he　is　in　your　presence。　It　is　not　merely
possible；　it　is　highly　probable；　that　he　may　betray　himself　far
more　seriously　than　he　has　betrayed　himself　yet　if　you　give　him
the　opportunity。　I　owe　it　to　you　（knowing　what　your　interests
are）　to　express　myself　plainly　on　this　point。　I　have　no　sort　of
doubt　that　you　have　advanced　one　step　nearer　to　the　end　which　you
have　in　view　in　the　brief　interval　since　you　left　Edinburgh。　I
see　in　your　letter　（and　in　my　discoveries）　irresistible　evidence
that　Dexter　must　have　been　in　secret　communication　with　the
deceased　lady　（innocent　communication；　I　am　certain；　so　far　as
_she_　was　concerned）；　not　only　at　the　time　of　her　death；　but
perhaps　for　weeks　before　it。　I　cannot　disguise　from　myself　or
from　you；　my　own　strong　persuasion　that　if　you　succeed　in
discovering　the　nature　of　this　communication；　in　all　human
likelihood　you　prove　your　husband's　innocence　by　the　discovery　of
the　truth。　As　an　honest　man；　I　am　bound　not　to　conceal　this。　And；
as　an　honest　man　also；　I　am　equally　bound　to　add　that；　not　even
with　your　reward　in　view；　can　I　find　it　in　my　conscience　to
advise　you　to　risk　what　you　must　risk　if　you　see　Miserrimus
Dexter　again。　In　this　difficult　and　delicate　matter　I　cannot　and
will　not　take　the　responsibility：　the　final　decision　must　rest
with　yourself。　One　favor　only　I　entreat　you　to　grantlet　me　hear
what　you　resolve　to　do　as　soon　as　you　know　it　yourself。〃

The　difficulties　which　my　worthy　correspondent　felt　were　no
difficulties　to　me。　I　did　not　possess　Mr。　Playmore's　judicial
mind。　My　resolution　was　settled　before　I　had　read　his　letter
through。

The　mail　to　France　crossed　the　frontier　the　next　day。　There　was　a
place　for　me；　under　the　protection　of　the　conductor；　if　I　chose
to　take　it。　Without　consulting　a　living　creaturerash　as　usual；
headlong　as　usualI　took　it。



CHAPTER　XXXVIII。

ON　THE　JOURNEY　BACK。

　IF　I　had　been　traveling　homeward　in　my　own　carriage；　the
remaining　chapters　of　this　narrative　would　never　have　been
written。　Before　we　had　been　an　hour　on　the　road　I　should　have
called　to　the　driver；　and　should　have　told　him　to　turn　back。

Who　can　be　always　resolute？

In　asking　that　question；　I　speak　of　the　women；　not　of　the　men。　I
had　been　resolute　in　turning　a　deaf　ear　to　Mr。　Playmore's　doubts
and　cautions；　resolute　in　holding　out　against　my　mother…in…law；
resolute　in　taking　my　place　by　the　French　mail。　Until　ten　minutes
after　we　had　driven　away　from　the　inn　my　courage　held　outand
then　it　failed　me；　then　I　said　to　myself；　〃You　wretch；　you　have
deserted　your　husband！〃　For　hours　afterward；　if　I　could　have
stopped　the　mail；　I　would　have　done　it。　I　hated　the　conductor；
the　kindest　of　men。　I　hated　the　Spanish　ponies　that　drew　us；　the
cheeriest　animals　that　ever　jingled　a　string　of　bells。　I　hated
the　bright　day　that　_would_　make　things　pleasant；　and　the　bracing
air　that　forced　me　to　feel　the　luxury　of　breathing　whether　I
liked　it　or　not。　Never　was　a　journey　more　miserable　than　my　safe
and　easy　journey　to　the　frontier。　But　one　little　comfort　helped
me　to　bear　my　heart…ache　resignedlya　stolen　morsel　of　Eustace's
hair。　We　had　started　at　an　hour　of　the　morning　when　he　was　still
sound　asleep。　I　could　creep　into　his　room；　and　kiss　him；　and　cry
over　him　softly；　and　cut　off　a　stray　lock　of　his　hair；　without
danger　of　discovery。　How　I　summoned　resolution　enough　to　leave
him　is；　to　this　hour；　not　clear　to　my　mind。　I　think　my
mother…in…law　must　have　helped　me；　without　meaning　to　do　it。　She
came　into　the　room　with　an　erect　head　and　a　cold　eye；　she　said；
with　an　unmerciful　emphasis　on　the　word；　〃If　you　_mean_　to　go；
Valeria；　the　carriage　is　here。〃　Any　woman　with　a　spark　of　spirit
in　her　would　have　〃meant〃　it　under　those　circumstances。　I　meant
itand　did　it。

And　then　I　was　sorry　for　it。　Poor　humanity！　Time　has　got　all　the
credit　of　being　the　great　consoler　of　afflicted　mortals。　In　my
opinion；　Time　has　been　overrated　in　this　matter。　Distance　does
the　same　beneficent　work　far　more　speedily；　and　（when　assisted　by
Change）　far　more　effectually　as　well。　On　the　railroad　to　Paris；　I
became　capable　of　taking　a　sensible　view　of　my　position。　I　could
now　remind　myself　that　my　husband's　reception　of　meafter　the
first　surprise　and　the　first　happiness　had　passed　awaymight　not
have　justified　his　mother's　confidence　in　him。　Admitting　that　I
ran　a　risk　in　going　back　to　Miserrimus　Dexter；　should　I　not　have
been　equally　rash；　in　another　way；　if　I　had　returned；　uninvited；
to　a　husband　who　had　declared　that　our　conjugal　happiness　was
impossible；　and　that　our　married　life　was　at　an　end？　Besides；　who
could　say　that　the　events　of　the　future　might　not　y　et　justify
menot　only　to　myself；　but　to　him？　I　might　yet　hear　him　say；
〃She　was　inquisitive　when　she　had　no　business　to　inquire；　she　was
obstinate　when　she　ought；　to　have　listened　to　reason；　she　left　my
bedside　when　other　women　would　have　remained；　but　in　the　end　she
atoned　for　it　allshe　turned　out　to　be　right！〃

I　rested　a　day　at　Paris　and　wrote　three　letters。

One　to　Benjamin；　telling　him　to　expect　me　the　next　evening。　One
to　Mr。　Playmore；　warning　him；　in　good　time；　that　I　meant　to　make
a　last　effort　to　penetrate　the　mystery　at　Gleninch。　One　to
Eustace　（of　a　few　lines　only）；　owning　that　I　had　helped　to　nurse
him　through　the　dangerous　part　of　his　illness；　confessing　the　one
reason　which　had　prevailed　with　me　to　leave　him；　and　entreating
him　to　suspend　his　opinion　of　me　until　time　had　proved　that　I
loved　him　more　dearly　than　ever。　This　last　letter　I　inclosed　to
my　mother…in…law；　leaving　it　to　her　discretion　to　choose　the
right　time　for　giving　it　to　her　son。　I　positively　forbade　Mrs。
Macallan；　however；　to　tell　Eustace　of　the　new　tie　between　us。
Although　he　_had_　separated　himself　from　me；　I　was　determined
that　he　should　not　hear　it　from　other　lips　than　mine。　Never　mind
why。　There　are　certain　little　matters　which　I　must　keep　to
myself；　and　this　is　one　of　them。

My　letters　being　written；　my　duty　was　done。　I　was　free　to　play　my
last　card　in　the　gamethe　darkly　doubtful　game　which　was　neither
quite　for　me　nor　quite　against　me　as　the　chances　now　stood。



CHAPTER　XXXIX。

ON　THE　WAY　TO　DEXTER。

　〃I　DECLARE　to　Heaven；　Valeria；　I　believe　that　monster's　madness
is　infectiousand　you　have　caught　it！〃

This　was　Benjamin's　opinion　of　me　（on　my　safe　arrival　at　the
villa）　after　I　had　announced　my　intention　of　returning　Miserrimus
Dexter's　visit；　in　his　company。

Being　determined　to　carry　my　point；　I　could　afford　to　try　the
influence　of　mild　persuasion。　I　begged　my　good　friend　to　have　a
little　patience　with　me。　〃And　do　remember　what　I　have　already
told　you；〃　I　added。　〃It　is　of　serious　importance　to　me　to　see
Dexter　again。〃

I　only　heaped　fuel　on　the　fire。　〃See　him　again？〃　Benjamin
repeated　indignantly。　〃See　him；　after　he　grossly　insulted　you；
under　my　roof；　in　this　very　room？　I　can't　be　awake；　I　must　be
asleep　and　dreaming！〃

It　was　wrong　of　me；　I　know。　But　Benjamin's　virtuous　indignation
was　so　very　virtuous　that　it　let　the　spirit　of　mischief　loose　in
me。　I　really　could　not　resist　the　temptation　to　outrage　his　sense
of　propriety　by　taking　an　audaciously　liberal　view　of　the　whole
matter。

〃Gently；　my　good　friend；　gently；〃　I　said。　〃We　must　make
allowances　for　a　man　who　suffers　under　Dexter's　infirmities；　and
lives　Dexter's　life。　And　really　we　must　not　let　our　modesty　lead
us　beyond　reasonable　limits。　I　begin　to　think　that　I　took　rather
a　prudish　view　of　the　thing　myself　at　the　time。　A　woman　who
respects　herself；　and　whose　whole　heart　is　with　her　husband；　is
not　so　very　seriously　injured　when　a　wretched　crippled　creature
is　rude　enough　to　put　his　arm　around　her　waist。　Virtuous
indignation　（if　I　may　venture　to　say　so）　is　sometimes　very　cheap
indignation。　Besides；　I　have　forgiven　himand　you　must　forgive
him　too。　There　is　no　fear　of　his　forgetting　himself　again；　while
you　are　with　me。　His　house　is　quite　a　curiosityit　is　sure　to
interest　you；　the　pictures　alone　are　worth　the　journey。　I　will
write　to　him　to…day；　and　we　will　go　and　see　him　together
to…morrow。　We　owe　it　to　ourselves　（if　we　don't　owe　it　to　Mr。
Dexter）　to　pay　this　visit。　If　you　will　look　about　you；　Benjamin；
you　will　see　that　benevolence　toward　everybody　is　the　great
virtue　of　the　time　we　live　in。　Poor　Mr。　Dexter　must　have　the
benefit　of　the　prevailing　fashion。　Come；　come；　march　with　the
age！　Op