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THE SKETCH BOOK
THE STAGE COACH
by Washington Irving
Omne bene
Sine poena
Tempus est ludendi。
Venit hora
Absque mora
Libros deponendi。
OLD HOLIDAY SCHOOL SONG。
IN THE preceding paper I have made some general observations on
the Christmas festivities of England�察�and am tempted to illustrate
them by some anecdotes of a Christmas passed in the country�察�in
perusing which I would most courteously invite my reader to lay
aside the austerity of wisdom�察�and to put on that genuine holiday
spirit which is tolerant of folly�察�and anxious only for amusement。
In the course of a December tour in Yorkshire�察�I rode for a long
distance in one of the public coaches�察�on the day preceding Christmas。
The coach was crowded�察�both inside and out�察�with passengers�察�who�察�by
their talk�察�seemed principally bound to the mansions of relations or
friends�察�to eat the Christmas dinner。 It was loaded also with
hampers of game�察�and baskets and boxes of delicacies�察�and hares hung
dangling their long ears about the coachman's box�察�presents from
distant friends for the impending feast。 I had three fine rosy´cheeked
boys for my fellow´passengers inside�察�full of the buxom health and
manly spirit which I have observed in the children of this country。
They were returning home for the holidays in high glee�察�and
promising themselves a world of enjoyment。 It was delightful to hear
the gigantic plans of the little rogues�察�and the impracticable feats
they were to perform during their six weeks' emancipation from the
abhorred thraldom of book�察�birch�察�and pedagogue。 They were full of
anticipations of the meeting with the family and household�察�down to
the very cat and dog�察�and of the joy they were to give their little
sisters by the presents with which their pockets were crammed�察�but the
meeting to which they seemed to look forward with the greatest
impatience was with Bantam�察�which I found to be a pony�察�and�察�according
to their talk�察�possessed of more virtues than any steed since the days
of Bucephalus。 How he could trot� �how he could run� �and then such
leaps as he would take´ there was not a hedge in the whole country
that he could not clear。
They were under the particular guardianship of the coachman�察�to
whom�察�whenever an opportunity presented�察�they addressed a host of
questions�察�and pronounced him one of the best fellows in the world。
Indeed�察�I could not but notice the more than ordinary air of bustle
and importance of the coachman�察�who wore his hat a little on one side��
and had a large bunch of Christmas greens stuck in the buttonhole of
his coat。 He is always a personage full of mighty care and business��
but he is particularly so during this season�察�having so many
commissions to execute in consequence of the great interchange of
presents。 And here�察�perhaps�察�it may not be unacceptable to my
untravelled readers�察�to have a sketch that may serve as a general
representation of this very numerous and important class of
functionaries�察�who have a dress�察�a manner�察�a language�察�an air��
peculiar to themselves�察�and prevalent throughout the fraternity�察�so
that�察�wherever an English stage coachman may be seen�察�he cannot be
mistaken for one of any other craft or mystery。
He has commonly a broad�察�full face�察�curiously mottled with red�察�as
if the blood had been forced by hard feeding into every vessel of
the skin�察�he is swelled into jolly dimensions by frequent potations of
malt liquors�察�and his bulk is still further increased by a
multiplicity of coats�察�in which he is buried like a cauliflower�察�the
upper one reaching to his heels。 He wears a broad´brimmed�察�low´crowned
hat�察�a huge roll of colored handkerchief about his neck�察�knowingly
knotted and tucked in at the bosom�察�and has in summer time a large
bouquet of flowers in his button´hole�察�the present�察�most probably��
of some enamored country lass。 His waistcoat is commonly of some
bright color�察�striped�察�and his small clothes extend far below the
knees�察�to meet a pair of jockey boots which reach about half way up
his legs。
All this costume is maintained with much precision�察�he has a pride
in having his clothes of excellent materials�察�and�察�notwithstanding the
seeming grossness of his appearance�察�there is still discernible that
neatness and propriety of person�察�which is almost inherent in an
Englishman。 He enjoys great consequence and consideration along the
road�察�has frequent conferences with the village housewives�察�who look
upon him as a man of great trust and dependence�察�and he seems to
have a good understanding with every bright´eyed country lass。 The
moment he arrives where the horses are to be changed�察�he throws down
the reins with something of an air�察�and abandons the cattle to the
care of the hostler�察�his duty being merely to drive from one stage
to another。 When off the box�察�his hands are thrust into the pockets of
his great coat�察�and he rolls about the inn yard with an air of the
most absolute lordliness。 Here he is generally surrounded by an
admiring throng of hostlers�察�stable´boys�察�shoeblacks�察�and those
nameless hangers´on�察�that infest inns and taverns�察�and run errands��
and do all kind of odd jobs�察�for the privilege of battening on the
drippings of the kitchen and the leakage of the tap´room。 These all
look up to him as to an oracle�察�treasure up his cant phrases�察�echo his
opinions about horses and other topics of jockey lore�察�and�察�above all��
endeavor to imitate his air and carriage。 Every ragamuffin that has
a coat to his back�察�thrusts his hands in the pockets�察�rolls in his
gait�察�talks slang�察�and is an embryo Coachey。
Perhaps it might be owing to the pleasing serenity that reigned in
my own mind�察�that I fancied I saw cheerfulness in every countenance
throughout the journey。 A stage coach�察�however�察�carries animation
always with it�察�and puts the world in motion as it whirls along。 The
horn�察�sounded at the entrance of a village�察�produces a general bustle。
Some hasten forth to meet friends�察�some with bundles and band´boxes to
secure places�察�and in the hurry of the moment can hardly take leave of
the group that accompanies them。 In the meantime�察�the coachman has a
world of small commissions to execute。 Sometimes he delivers a hare or
pheasant�察�sometimes jerks a small parcel or newspaper to the door of a
public house�察�and sometimes�察�with knowing leer and words of sly
import�察�hands to some half´blushing�察�half´laughing housemaid an
odd´shaped billet´doux from some rustic admirer。 As the coach
rattles through the village�察�every one runs to the window�察�and you
have glances on every side of fresh country faces and blooming
giggling girls。 At the corners are assembled juntos of village
idlers and wise men�察�who take their stations there for the important
purpose of seeing company pass�察�but the sagest knot is generally at
the blacksmith's�察�to whom the passing of the coach is an event
fruitful of much speculation。 The smith�察�with the horse's heel in
his lap�察�pauses as the vehicle whirls by�察�the cyclops round the
anvil suspend their ringing hammers�察�and suffer the iron to grow cool��
and the sooty spectre�察�in brown paper cap�察�laboring at the bellows��
leans on the handle for a moment�察�and permits the asthmatic engine
to heave a long´drawn sigh�察�while he glares through the murky smoke
and sulphureous gleams of the smithy。
Perhaps the impending holiday might have given a more than usual
animation to the country�察�for it seemed to me as if everybody was in
good looks and good spirits。 Game�察�poultry�察�and other luxuries of
the table�察�were in brisk circulation in the villages�察�the grocers'��
butchers' and fruiterers' shops were thronged with customers。 The
housewives were stirring briskly about�察�putting their dwellings in
order�察�and the glossy branches of holly�察�with their bright´red
berries�察�began to appear at the windows。 The scene brought to mind
an old writer's account of Christmas preparations�此� ;Now capons and
hens�察�beside turkeys�察�geese�察�and ducks�察�with beef and mutton´ must all
die´ for in twelve days a multitude of people will not be fed with a
little。 Now plums and spice�察�sugar and honey�察�square it among pies and
broth。 Now or never must music be in tune�察�for the youth must dance
and sing to get them a heat�察�while the aged sit by the fire。 The
country maid leaves half her market�察�and must be sent again�察�if she
forgets a pack of cards on Christmas eve。 Great is the contention of
holly and ivy�察�whether master or dame wears the breeches。 Dice and
cards benefit the butler�察�and if the cook do not lack wit�察�he will
sweetly lick his fingers。;
I was roused from this fit of luxurious meditation�察�by a shout
from my little travelling companions。 They had been looking out of the
coach windows for the last few miles�察�recognizing every tree and
cottage as they approached home�察�and now there was a general burst
of joy´ ;There's John� �and there's old Carlo� �and there's Bantam� �
cried the happy little rogues�察�clapping their hands。
At the end of a lane there was an old sober´looking servant in
livery�察�waiting for them�察�he was accompanied by a superannuated
pointer�察�and by the redoubtable Bantam�察�a little old rat of a pony��
with a shaggy mane and long rusty tail�察�who stood dozing quietly by
the road´side�察�little dreaming of the bustling times that awaited him。
I was pleased to see the fondness with which the little fellows
leaped about the steady old footman�察�and hugged the pointer�察�who
wriggled his whole body for joy。 But Bantam was the great object of
interest�察�all wanted to mount at once�察�and it was with some difficulty
that John arranged that they should ride by turns�察�and the eldest
should ride first。
Off they set at last�察�one on the pony�察�with the dog bounding and
barking before him�察�and the others holding John's hands�察�both
talking at once�察�and overpowering him with questions about home�察�and
wit