the little white bird-第10部分

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committee　that　he　was　mistaken　in　thinking　you　used　improper

language　to　him；　so　you　will　doubtless　be　restored　to　the

dining…room　to…　morrow。〃



I　had　to　add　immediately；　〃Remember　your　place；　William。〃



〃But　Mr。　B　knows　I　swore；〃　he　insisted。



〃A　gentleman；〃　I　replied　stiffly；　〃cannot　remember　for　many　hours

what　a　waiter　has　said　to　him。〃



〃No；　sir；　but〃



To　stop　him　I　had　to　say；　〃AndahWilliam；　your　wife　is　decidedly

better。　　She　has　eaten　the　tapiocaall　of　it。〃



〃How　can　you　know；　sir？〃



〃By　an　accident。〃



〃Irene　signed　to　the　window？〃



〃No。〃



〃Then　you　saw　her　and　went　out　and〃



〃How　dare　you；　William？〃



〃Oh；　sir；　to　do　that　for　me！　　May　God　bl〃



〃William。〃



He　was　reinstated　in　the　dining…room；　but　often　when　I　looked　at

him　I　seemed　to　see　a　dying　wife　in　his　face；　and　so　the

relations　between　us　were　still　strained。　　But　I　watched　the

girl；　and　her　pantomime　was　so　illuminating　that　I　knew　the

sufferer　had　again　cleaned　the　platter　on　Tuesday；　had　attempted

a　boiled　egg　on　Wednesday　（you　should　have　seen　Irene　chipping　it

in　Pall　Mall；　and　putting　in　the　salt）；　but　was　in　a　woful　state

of　relapse　on　Thursday。



〃Is　your　mother　very　ill　to…day；　Miss　Irene？〃　I　asked；　as　soon　as

I　had　drawn　her　out　of　range　of　the　club…windows。



〃My！〃　she　exclaimed　again；　and　I　saw　an　ecstatic　look　pass

between　her　and　a　still　smaller　girl　with　her；　whom　she　referred

to　as　a　neighbour。



I　waited　coldly。　　William's　wife；　I　was　informed；　had　looked　like

nothing　but　a　dead　one　till　she　got　the　brandy。



〃Hush；　child；〃　I　said；　shocked。　　〃You　don't　know　how　the　dead

look。〃



〃Bless　yer！〃　she　replied。



Assisted　by　her　friend；　who　was　evidently　enormously　impressed　by

Irene's　intimacy　with　me；　she　gave　me　a　good　deal　of

miscellaneous　information；　as　that　William's　real　name　was　Mr。

Hicking；　but　that　he　was　known　in　their　street；　because　of　the

number　of　his　shirts；　as　Toff　Hicking。　　That　the　street　held　he

should　get　away　from　the　club　before　two　in　the　morning；　for　his

missus　needed　him　more　than　the　club　needed　him。　　That　William

replied　（very　sensibly）　that　if　the　club　was　short　of　waiters　at

supper…time　some　of　the　gentlemen　might　be　kept　waiting　for　their

marrow…　bone。　　That　he　sat　up　with　his　missus　most　of　the　night；

and　pretended　to　her　that　he　got　some　nice　long　naps　at　the　club。

That　what　she　talked　to　him　about　mostly　was　the　kid。　　That　the

kid　was　in　another　part　of　London　（in　charge　of　a　person　called

the　old　woman）；　because　there　was　an　epidemic　in　Irene's　street。



〃And　what　does　the　doctor　say　about　your　mother？〃



〃He　sometimes　says　she　would　have　a　chance　if　she　could　get　her

kid　back。〃



〃Nonsense。〃



〃And　if　she　was　took　to　the　country。〃



〃Then　why　does　not　William　take　her？〃



〃My！　　And　if　she　drank　porty　wine。〃



〃Doesn't　she？〃



〃No。　　But　father；　he　tells　her　'bout　how　the　gentlemen　drinks

it。〃



I　turned　from　her　with　relief；　but　she　came　after　me。



〃Ain't　yer　going　to　do　it　this　time？〃　she　demanded　with　a　falling

face。　　〃You　done　it　last　time。　　I　tell　her　you　done　it〃she

pointed　to　her　friend　who　was　looking　wistfully　at　me〃ain't　you

to　let　her　see　you　doing　of　it？〃



For　a　moment　I　thought　that　her　desire　was　another　shilling；　but

by　a　piece　of　pantomime　she　showed　that　she　wanted　me　to　lift　my

hat　to　her。　　So　I　lifted　it；　and　when　I　looked　behind　she　had　her

head　in　the　air　and　her　neighbour　was　gazing　at　her　awestruck。

These　little　creatures　are　really　not　without　merit。



About　a　week　afterward　I　was　in　a　hired　landau；　holding　a

newspaper　before　my　face　lest　anyone　should　see　me　in　company　of

a　waiter　and　his　wife。　　William　was　taking　her　into　Surrey　to

stay　with　an　old　nurse　of　mine；　and　Irene　was　with　us；　wearing

the　most　outrageous　bonnet。



I　formed　a　mean　opinion　of　Mrs。　Hicking's　intelligence　from　her

pride　in　the　baby；　which　was　a　very　ordinary　one。　　She　created　a

regrettable　scene　when　it　was　brought　to　her；　because　〃she　had

been　feared　it　would　not　know　her　again。〃　　I　could　have　told　her

that　they　know　no　one　for　years　had　I　not　been　in　terror　of

Irene；　who　dandled　the　child　on　her　knees　and　talked　to　it　all

the　way。　I　have　never　known　a　bolder　little　hussy　than　this

Irene。　　She　asked　the　infant　improper　questions；　such　as　〃Oo　know

who　gave　me　this　bonnet？〃　and　answered　them　herself。　　〃It　was　the

pretty　gentleman　there；〃　and　several　times　I　had　to　affect　sleep；

because　she　announced；　〃Kiddy　wants　to　kiss　the　pretty

gentleman。〃



Irksome　as　all　this　necessarily　was　to　a　man　of　taste；　I　suffered

still　more　acutely　when　we　reached　our　destination；　where

disagreeable　circumstances　compelled　me　to　drink　tea　with　a

waiter's　family。　　William　knew　that　I　regarded　thanks　from

persons　of　his　class　as　an　outrage；　yet　he　looked　them　though　he

dared　not　speak　them。　　Hardly　had　he　sat　down　at　the　table　by　my

orders　than　he　remembered　that　I　was　a　member　of　the　club　and

jumped　up。　　Nothing　is　in　worse　form　than　whispering；　yet　again

and　again　he　whispered　to　his　poor；　foolish　wife；　〃How　are　you

now？　　You　don't　feel　faint？〃　and　when　she　said　she　felt　like

another　woman　already；　his　face　charged　me　with　the　change。　　I

could　not　but　conclude　from　the　way　she　let　the　baby　pound　her

that　she　was　stronger　than　she　pretended。



I　remained　longer　than　was　necessary　because　I　had　something　to

say　to　William　which　I　feared　he　would　misunderstand；　but　when　he

announced　that　it　was　time　for　him　to　catch　a　train　back　to

London；　at　which　his　wife　paled；　I　delivered　the　message。



〃William；〃　I　said；　backing　away　from　him；　〃the　head…waiter　asked

me　to　say　that　you　could　take　a　fortnight's　holiday。　　Your　wages

will　be　paid　as　usual。〃



Confound　him。



〃William；〃　I　cried　furiously；　〃go　away。〃



Then　I　saw　his　wife　signing　to　him；　and　I　knew　she　wanted　to　be

left　alone　with　me。



〃William；〃　I　cried　in　a　panic；　〃stay　where　you　are。〃



But　he　was　gone；　and　I　was　alone　with　a　woman　whose　eyes　were

filmy。　　Her　class　are　fond　of　scenes。　　〃If　you　please；　ma'am！〃　I

said　imploringly。



But　she　kissed　my　hand；　she　was　like　a　little　dog。



〃It　can　be　only　the　memory　of　some　woman；〃　said　she；　〃that　makes

you　so　kind　to　me　and　mine。〃



Memory　was　the　word　she　used；　as　if　all　my　youth　were　fled。　　I

suppose　I　really　am　quite　elderly。



〃I　should　like　to　know　her　name；　sir；〃　she　said；　〃that　I　may

mention　her　with　loving　respect　in　my　prayers。〃



I　raised　the　woman　and　told　her　the　name。　　It　was　not　Mary。　　〃But

she　has　a　home；〃　I　said；　〃as　you　have；　and　I　have　none。　　Perhaps；

ma'am；　it　would　be　better　worth　your　while　to　mention　me。〃







It　was　this　woman；　now　in　health；　whom　I　intrusted　with　the

purchase　of　the　outfits；　〃one　for　a　boy　of　six　months；〃　I

explained　to　her；　〃and　one　for　a　boy　of　a　year；〃　for　the　painter

had　boasted　to　me　of　David's　rapid　growth。　　I　think　she　was　a

little　surprised　to　find　that　both　outfits　were　for　the　same

house；　and　she　certainly　betrayed　an　ignoble　curiosity　about　the

mother's　Christian　name；　but　she　was　much　easier　to　brow…beat

than　a　fine　lady　would　have　been；　and　I　am　sure　she　and　her

daughter　enjoyed　themselves　hugely　in　the　shops；　from　one　of

which　I　shall　never　forget　Irene　emerging　proudly　with　a

commissionaire；　who　conducted　her　under　an　umbrella　to　the　cab

where　I　was　lying　in　wait。　　I　think　that　was　the　most　celestial

walk　of　Irene's　life。



I　told　Mrs。　Hicking　to　give　the　articles　a　little　active　ill…

treatment　that　they　might　not　look　quite　new；　at　which　she

exclaimed；　not　being　in　my　secret；　and　then　to　forward　them　to

me。　I　then　sent　them　to　Mary　and　rejoiced　in　my　devilish　cunning

all　the　evening；　but　chagrin　came　in　the　morning　with　a　letter

from　her　which　showed　she　knew　all；　that　I　was　her　Mr。　Anon；　and

that　there　never　had　been　a　Timothy。　　I　think　I　was　never　so

gravelled。　Even　now　I　don't　know　how　she　had　contrived　it。



Her　cleverness　raised　such　a　demon　in　me　that　I　locked　away　her

letter　at　once　and　have　seldom　read　it　since。　　No　married　lady

should　have　indited　such　an　epistle　to　a　single　man。　　It　said；

with　other　things　which　I　decline　to　repeat；　that　I　was　her　good

fairy。　　As　a　sample　of　the　deliberate　falsehoods　in　it；　I　may

mention　that　she　said　David　loved　me　already。　　She　hoped　that　I

would　come　in　often　to　see　her　husband；　who　was　very　proud　of　my

friendship；　and　suggested　that　I　should　pay　him　my　first　visit

to…　day　at　three　o'clock；　an　hour　at　which；　as　I　happened　to

know；　he　is　always　away　giving　a　painting…lesson。　　In　short；　she

wanted　first　to　meet　me　alone；　so　that　she　might　draw　the

delicious；　respectful　romance　out　of　me；　and　afterward　repeat　it

to　him；　with　sighs　and　little　peeps　at　him　over　her

pocket…handkerchief。



She　had　dropped　what　were　meant　to　look　like　two　tears　for　me

upon　the　paper；　but　I　should　not　wonder　though　they　were　only

artful　drops　of　water。



I　sent　her　a　stiff　and　tart　reply；　declining　to　hold　any

communication　with　her。





IX



A　Confirmed　Spinster



I　am　in　danger；　I　see；　of　being　included　among　the　whimsical

fellows；　which　I　so　little　desire　that　I　have　got　me　into　my

writing…chair　to　combat　the　charge；　but；　having　sat　for　an

unconscionable　time　with　pen　poised；　I　am　come　agitatedly　to　the

fear　that　there　may　be　something　in　it。



So　long　a　time　has　elapsed；　you　must　know；　since　I　abated　of　the

ardours　of　self…inquiry　that　I　revert　in　vain　（through　many　rusty

doors）　for　the　beginning　of　this　change　in　me；　if　changed　I　am；　I

seem　ever　to　see　this　same　man　until　I　am　back　in　those　wonderful

months　which　were　half　of　my　life；　when；　indeed；　I　know　that　I

was　otherwise　than　I　am　now；　no　whimsical　fellow　then；　for　that

was　one　of　the　possibilities　I　put　to　myself　while　seeking　for

the　explanation　of　things；　and　found