the little white bird-第37部分

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lacking　the　one　thing　you　craved　for　most　of　all。〃



Will　you　believe　me　that　I　had　to　tell　her　what　it　was？　　And　when

I　had　told　her　she　exclaimed　with　extraordinary　callousness；　〃The

book？　　I　had　forgotten　all　about　the　book！〃　　And　then　after

reflection　she　added；　〃Pooh！〃　　Had　she　not　added　Pooh　I　might

have　spared　her；　but　as　it　was　I　raised　the　blotting…pad　rather

haughtily　and　presented　her　with　the　sheet　beneath　it。



〃What　is　this？〃　she　asked。



〃Ma'am；〃　said　I；　swelling；　〃it　is　a　Dedication；〃　and　I　walked

majestically　to　the　window。



There　is　no　doubt　that　presently　I　heard　an　unexpected　sound。　

Yet　if　indeed　it　had　been　a　laugh　she　clipped　it　short；　for　in

almost　the　same　moment　she　was　looking　large…eyed　at　me　and

tapping　my　sleeve　impulsively　with　her　fingers；　just　as　David

does　when　he　suddenly　likes　you。



〃How　characteristic　of　you；〃　she　said　at　the　window。



〃Characteristic；〃　I　echoed　uneasily。　　〃Ha！〃



〃And　how　kind。〃



〃Did　you　say　kind；　ma'am？〃



〃But　it　is　I　who　have　the　substance　and　you　who　have　the　shadow；

as　you　know　very　well；〃　said　she。



Yes；　I　had　always　known　that　this　was　the　one　flaw　in　my

dedication；　but　how　could　I　have　expected　her　to　have　the　wit　to

see　it？　　I　was　very　depressed。



〃And　there　is　another　mistake；〃　said　she。



〃Excuse　me；　ma'am；　but　that　is　the　only　one。〃



〃It　was　never　of　my　little　white　bird　I　wanted　to　write；〃　she

said。



I　looked　politely　incredulous；　and　then　indeed　she　overwhelmed

me。　　〃It　was　of　your　little　white　bird；〃　she　said；　〃it　was　of　a

little　boy　whose　name　was　Timothy。〃



She　had　a　very　pretty　way　of　saying　Timothy；　so　David　and　I　went

into　another　room　to　leave　her　alone　with　the　manuscript　of　this

poor　little　book；　and　when　we　returned　she　had　the　greatest

surprise　of　the　day　for　me。　　She　was　both　laughing　and　crying；

which　was　no　surprise；　for　all　of　us　would　laugh　and　cry　over　a

book　about　such　an　interesting　subject　as　ourselves；　but　said

she；　〃How　wrong　you　are　in　thinking　this　book　is　about　me　and

mine；　it　is　really　all　about　Timothy。〃



At　first　I　deemed　this　to　be　uncommon　nonsense；　but　as　I

considered　I　saw　that　she　was　probably　right　again；　and　I　gazed

crestfallen　at　this　very　clever　woman。



〃And　so；〃　said　she；　clapping　her　hands　after　the　manner　of　David

when　he　makes　a　great　discovery；　〃it　proves　to　be　my　book　after

all。〃



〃With　all　your　pretty　thoughts　left　out；〃　I　answered；　properly

humbled。



She　spoke　in　a　lower　voice　as　if　David　must　not　hear。　　〃I　had

only　one　pretty　thought　for　the　book；〃　she　said；　〃I　was　to　give

it　a　happy　ending。〃　　She　said　this　so　timidly　that　I　was　about　to

melt　to　her　when　she　added　with　extraordinary　boldness；　〃The

little　white　bird　was　to　bear　an　olive…leaf　in　its　mouth。〃



For　a　long　time　she　talked　to　me　earnestly　of　a　grand　scheme　on

which　she　had　set　her　heart；　and　ever　and　anon　she　tapped　on　me

as　if　to　get　admittance　for　her　ideas。　　I　listened　respectfully；

smiling　at　this　young　thing　for　carrying　it　so　motherly　to　me；

and　in　the　end　I　had　to　remind　her　that　I　was　forty…seven　years

of　age。



〃It　is　quite　young　for　a　man；〃　she　said　brazenly。



〃My　father；〃　said　I；　〃was　not　forty…seven　when　he　died；　and　I

remember　thinking　him　an　old　man。〃



〃But　you　don't　think　so　now；　do　you？〃　she　persisted；　〃you　feel

young　occasionally；　don't　you？　　Sometimes　when　you　are　playing

with　David　in　the　Gardens　your　youth　comes　swinging　back；　does　it

not？〃



〃Mary　A；〃　I　cried；　grown　afraid　of　the　woman；　〃I　forbid　you　to

make　any　more　discoveries　to…day。〃



But　still　she　hugged　her　scheme；　which　I　doubt　not　was　what　had

brought　her　to　my　rooms。　　〃They　are　very　dear　women；〃　said　she

coaxingly。



〃I　am　sure；〃　I　said；　〃they　must　be　dear　women　if　they　are　friends

of　yours。〃



〃They　are　not　exactly　young；〃　she　faltered；　〃and　perhaps　they　are

not　very　pretty〃



But　she　had　been　reading　so　recently　about　the　darling　of　my

youth　that　she　halted　abashed　at　last；　feeling；　I　apprehend；　a

stop　in　her　mind　against　proposing　this　thing　to　me；　who；　in

those　presumptuous　days；　had　thought　to　be　content　with　nothing

less　than　the　loveliest　lady　in　all　the　land。



My　thoughts　had　reverted　also；　and　for　the　last　time　my　eyes　saw

the　little　hut　through　the　pine　wood　haze。　　I　met　Mary　there；　and

we　came　back　to　the　present　together。



I　have　already　told　you；　reader；　that　this　conversation　took

place　no　longer　ago　than　yesterday。



〃Very　well；　ma'am；〃　I　said；　trying　to　put　a　brave　face　on　it；　〃I

will　come　to　your　tea…parties；　and　we　shall　see　what　we　shall

see。〃



It　was　really　all　she　had　asked　for；　but　now　that　she　had　got

what　she　wanted　of　me　the　foolish　soul's　eyes　became　wet；　she

knew　so　well　that　the　youthful　romances　are　the　best。



It　was　now　my　turn　to　comfort　her。　　〃In　twenty　years；〃　I　said；

smiling　at　her　tears；　〃a　man　grows　humble；　Mary。　　I　have　stored

within　me　a　great　fund　of　affection；　with　nobody　to　give　it　to；

and　I　swear　to　you；　on　the　word　of　a　soldier；　that　if　there　is

one　of　those　ladies　who　can　be　got　to　care　for　me　I　shall　be　very

proud。〃　　Despite　her　semblance　of　delight　I　knew　that　she　was

wondering　at　me；　and　I　wondered　at　myself；　but　it　was　true。











End