father goriot(高老头)-第49部分

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　superb　toilette；　and　Anastasie　ought　not　to　be　outshone　by　her　younger　sister。　And　thenshe　was　drowned　in　tears；　poor　girl！　I　felt　so　humbled　yesterday　when　I　had　not　the　twelve　thousand　francs；　that　I　would　have　given　the　rest　of　my　miserable　life　to　wipe　out　that　wrong。　You　see；　I　could　have　borne　anything　once；　but　latterly　this　want　of　money　has　broken　my　heart。　Oh！　I　did　not　do　it　by　halves；　I　titivated　myself　up　a　bit；　and　went　out　and　sold　my　spoons　and　forks　and　buckles　for　six　hundred　francs；　then　I　went　to　old　Daddy　Gobseck；　and　sold　a　year's　interest　on　my　annuity　for　four　hundred　francs　down。　Pshaw！　I　can　live　on　dry　bread；　as　I　did　when　I　was　a　young　man；　if　I　have　done　it　before；　I　can　do　it　again。　My　Nasie　shall　have　one　happy　evening；　at　any　rate。　She　shall　be　smart。　The　banknote　for　a　thousand　francs　is　under　my　pillow；　it　warms　me　to　have　it　lying　there　under　my　head；　for　it　is　going　to　make　my　poor　Nasie　happy。　She　can　turn　that　bad　girl　Victoire　out　of　the　house。　A　servant　that　cannot　trust　her　mistress；　did　any　one　ever　hear　the　like！　I　shall　be　quite　well　to…morrow。　Nasie　is　coming　at　ten　o'clock。　They　must　not　think　that　I　am　ill；　or　they　will　not　go　to　the　ball；　they　will　stop　and　take　care　of　me。　To…morrow　Nasie　will　come　and　hold　me　in　her　arms　as　if　I　were　one　of　her　children；　her　kisses　will　make　me　well　again。　After　all；　I　might　have　spent　the　thousand　francs　on　physic；　I　would　far　rather　give　them　to　my　little　Nasie；　who　can　charm　all　the　pain　away。　At　any　rate；　I　am　some　comfort　to　her　in　her　misery；　and　that　makes　up　for　my　unkindness　in　buying　an　annuity。　She　is　in　the　depths；　and　I　cannot　draw　her　out　of　them　now。　Oh！　I　will　go　into　business　again；　I　will　buy　wheat　in　Odessa；　out　there；　wheat　fetches　a　quarter　of　the　price　it　sells　for　here。　There　is　a　law　against　the　importation　of　grain；　but　the　good　folk　who　made　the　law　forgot　to　prohibit　the　introduction　of　wheat　products　and　food　stuffs　made　from　corn。　Hey！　hey！　。　。　。　That　struck　me　this　morning。　There　is　a　fine　trade　to　be　done　in　starch。〃

Eugene；　watching　the　old　man's　face；　thought　that　his　friend　was　light…headed。

〃Come；〃　he　said；　〃do　not　talk　any　more；　you　must　rest〃　Just　then　Bianchon　came　up；　and　Eugene　went　down　to　dinner。

The　two　students　sat　up　with　him　that　night；　relieving　each　other　in　turn。　Bianchon　brought　up　his　medical　books　and　studied；　Eugene　wrote　letters　home　to　his　mother　and　sisters。　Next　morning　Bianchon　thought　the　symptoms　more　hopeful；　but　the　patient's　condition　demanded　continual　attention；　which　the　two　students　alone　were　willing　to　givea　task　impossible　to　describe　in　the　squeamish　phraseology　of　the　epoch。　Leeches　must　be　applied　to　the　wasted　body；　the　poultices　and　hot　foot…baths；　and　other　details　of　the　treatment　required　the　physical　strength　and　devotion　of　the　two　young　men。　Mme。　de　Restaud　did　not　come；　but　she　sent　a　messenger　for　the　money。

〃I　expected　she　would　come　herself；　but　it　would　have　been　a　pity　for　her　to　come；　she　would　have　been　anxious　about　me；〃　said　the　father；　and　to　all　appearances　he　was　well　content。

At　seven　o'clock　that　evening　Therese　came　with　a　letter　from　Delphine。

　　〃What　are　you　doing；　dear　friend？　I　have　been　loved　for　a　very　　　little　while；　and　I　am　neglected　already？　In　the　confidences　of　　　heart　and　heart；　I　have　learned　to　know　your　soulyou　are　too　　　noble　not　to　be　faithful　for　ever；　for　you　know　that　love　with　　　all　its　infinite　subtle　changes　of　feeling　is　never　the　same。　　　Once　you　said；　as　we　were　listening　to　the　Prayer　in　Mose　in　　　Egitto；　'For　some　it　is　the　monotony　of　a　single　note；　for　　　others；　it　is　the　infinite　of　sound。'　Remember　that　I　am　　　expecting　you　this　evening　to　take　me　to　Mme。　de　Beauseant's　　　ball。　Every　one　knows　now　that　the　King　signed　M。　d'Ajuda's　　　marriage…contract　this　morning；　and　the　poor　Vicomtesse　knew　　　nothing　of　it　until　two　o'clock　this　afternoon。　All　Paris　will　　　flock　to　her　house；　of　course；　just　as　a　crowd　fills　the　Place　de　　　Greve　to　see　an　execution。　It　is　horrible；　is　it　not；　to　go　out　　　of　curiosity　to　see　if　she　will　hide　her　anguish；　and　whether　she　　　will　die　courageously？　I　certainly　should　not　go；　my　friend；　if　I　　　had　been　at　her　house　before；　but；　of　course；　she　will　not　　　receive　society　any　more　after　this；　and　all　my　efforts　would　be　　　in　vain。　My　position　is　a　very　unusual　one；　and　besides；　I　am　　　going　there　partly　on　your　account。　I　am　waiting　for　you。　If　you　　　are　not　beside　me　in　less　than　two　hours；　I　do　not　know　whether　I　　　could　forgive　such　treason。〃

Rastignac　took　up　a　pen　and　wrote：

　　〃I　am　waiting　till　the　doctor　comes　to　know　if　there　is　any　hope　　　of　your　father's　life。　He　is　lying　dangerously　ill。　I　will　come　　　and　bring　you　the　news；　but　I　am　afraid　it　may　be　a　sentence　of　　　death。　When　I　come　you　can　decide　whether　you　can　go　to　the　　　ball。Yours　a　thousand　times。〃

At　half…past　eight　the　doctor　arrived。　He　did　not　take　a　very　hopeful　view　of　the　case；　but　thought　that　there　was　no　immediate　danger。　Improvements　and　relapses　might　be　expected；　and　the　good　man's　life　and　reason　hung　in　the　balance。

〃It　would　be　better　for　him　to　die　at　once；〃　the　doctor　said　as　he　took　leave。

Eugene　left　Goriot　to　Bianchon's　care；　and　went　to　carry　the　sad　news　to　Mme。　de　Nucingen。　Family　feeling　lingered　in　her；　and　this　must　put　an　end　for　the　present　to　her　plans　of　amusement。

〃Tell　her　to　enjoy　her　evening　as　if　nothing　had　happened；〃　cried　Goriot。　He　had　been　lying　in　a　sort　of　stupor；　but　he　suddenly　sat　upright　as　Eugene　went　out。

Eugene；　half　heartbroken；　entered　Delphine's。　Her　hair　had　been　dressed；　she　wore　her　dancing　slippers；　she　had　only　to　put　on　her　ball…dress；　but　when　the　artist　is　giving　the　finishing　stroke　to　his　creation；　the　last　touches　require　more　time　than　the　whole　groundwork　of　the　picture。

〃Why；　you　are　not　dressed！〃　she　cried。

〃Madame；　your　father〃

〃My　father　again！〃　she　exclaimed；　breaking　in　upon　him。　〃You　need　not　teach　me　what　is　due　to　my　father；　I　have　known　my　father　this　long　while。　Not　a　word；　Eugene。　I　will　hear　what　you　have　to　say　when　you　are　dressed。　My　carriage　is　waiting；　take　it；　go　round　to　your　rooms　and　dress；　Therese　has　put　out　everything　in　readiness　for　you。　Come　back　as　soon　as　you　can；　we　will　talk　about　my　father　on　the　way　to　Mme。　de　Beauseant's。　We　must　go　early；　if　we　have　to　wait　our　turn　in　a　row　of　carriages；　we　shall　be　lucky　if　we　get　there　by　eleven　o'clock。〃

〃Madame〃

〃Quick！　not　a　word！〃　she　cried；　darting　into　her　dressing…room　for　a　necklace。

〃Do　go；　Monsieur　Eugene；　or　you　will　vex　madame；〃　said　Therese；　hurrying　him　away；　and　Eugene　was　too　horror…stricken　by　this　elegant　parricide　to　resist。

He　went　to　his　rooms　and　dressed；　sad；　thoughtful；　and　dispirited。　The　world　of　Paris　was　like　an　ocean　of　mud　for　him　just　then；　and　it　seemed　that　whoever　set　foot　in　that　black　mire　must　needs　sink　into　it　up　to　the　chin。

〃Their　crimes　are　paltry；〃　said　Eugene　to　himself。　〃Vautrin　was　greater。〃

He　had　seen　society　in　its　three　great　phasesObedience；　Struggle；　and　Revolt；　the　Family；　the　World；　and　Vautrin；　and　he　hesitated　in　his　choice。　Obedience　was　dull；　Revolt　impossible；　Struggle　hazardous。　His　thoughts　wandered　back　to　the　home　circle。　He　thought　of　the　quiet　uneventful　life；　the　pure　happiness　of　the　days　spent　among　those　who　loved　him　there。　Those　loving　and　beloved　beings　passed　their　lives　in　obedience　to　the　natural　laws　of　the　hearth；　and　in　that　obedience　found　a　deep　and　constant　serenity；　unvexed　by　torments　such　as　these。　Yet；　for　all　his　good　impulses；　he　could　not　bring　himself　to　make　profession　of　the　religion　of　pure　souls　to　Delphine；　nor　to　prescribe　the　duties　of　piety　to　her　in　the　name　of　love。　His　education　had　begun　to　bear　its　fruits；　he　loved　selfishly　already。　Besides；　his　tact　had　discovered　to　him　the　real　nature　of　Delphine；　he　divined　instinctively　that　she　was　capable　of　stepping　over　her　father's　corpse　to　go　to　the　ball；　and　within　himself　he　felt　that　he　had　neither　the　strength　of　mind　to　play　the　part　of　mentor；　nor　the　strength　of　character　to　vex　her；　nor　the　courage　to　leave　her　to　go　alone。

〃She　would　never　forgive　me　for　putting　her　in　the　wrong　over　it；〃　he　said　to　himself。　Then　he　turned　the　doctor's　dictum　over　in　his　mind；　he　tried　to　believe　that　Goriot　was　not　so　dangerously　ill　as　he　had　imagined；　and　ended　by　collecting　together　a　sufficient　quantity　of　traitorous　excuses　for　Delphine's　conduct。　She　did　not　know　how　ill　her　father　was；　the　kind　old　man　himself　would　have　made　her　go　to　the　ball　if　she　had　gone　to　see　him。　So　often　it　happens　that　this　one　or　that　stands　condemned　by　the　social　laws　that　govern　family　relations；　and　yet　there　are　peculiar　circumstances　in　the　case；　differences　of　temperament；　divergent　interests；　innumerable　complications　of　family　life　that　excuse　the　apparent　offence。

Eugene　did　not　wish　to　see　too　clearly；　he　was　ready　to　sacrifice　his　conscience　to　his　mistress。　Within　the　last　few　days　his　whole　life　had　undergone　a　change。　Woman　had　entered　into　his　world　and　thrown　it　into　chaos；　family　claims　dwindled　away　before　her；　she　had　appropriated　all　his　being　to　her　uses。　Rastignac　and　Delphine　found　each　other　at　a　crisis　in　their　lives　when　their　union　gave　them　the　most　poignant　bliss。　Their　passion；　so　long　proved；　had　only　gained　in　strength　by　the　gratified　desire　that　often　extinguishes　passion。　This　woman　was　his；　and　Eugene　recognized　that　not　until　then　had　he　loved　her；　perhaps　love　is　only　gratitude　for　pleasure。　This　woman；　vile　or　sublime；　he　adored　for　the　pleasure　she　had　brought　as　her　dower；　and　Delphine　loved　Rastignac　as　Tantalus　would　have　loved　some　angel　who　had　satisfied　his　hunger　and　quenched　the　burning　thirst　in　his　parched　throat。

〃Well；〃　said　Mme。　de　Nucingen　when　he　came　back　in　evening　dress；　〃how　is　my　father？〃

〃Very　dangerously　ill；〃　he　answered；　〃if　you　will　grant　me　a　proof　of　your　affections；　we　will　just　go　in　to　see　him　on　the　way。〃

〃Very　well；〃　she　said。　〃Yes；　but　afterwards。　Dear　Eugene；　do　be　nice；　and　don't　preach　to　me。　Come。〃

They　set　out。　Eugene　said　nothing　for　a　while。

〃What　is　it　now？〃　she　asked。

〃I　can　hear　the　death…rattle　in　your　f