roughing it-第3部分

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days。　　No　record　is　left　in　my　mind；　now；　concerning　it；　but　a　confused
jumble　of　savage…looking　snags；　which　we　deliberately　walked　over　with
one　wheel　or　the　other；　and　of　reefs　which　we　butted　and　butted；　and　then
retired　from　and　climbed　over　in　some　softer　place；　and　of　sand…bars
which　we　roosted　on　occasionally；　and　rested；　and　then　got　out　our
crutches　and　sparred　over。

In　fact；　the　boat　might　almost　as　well　have　gone　to　St。　Jo。　by　land；　for
she　was　walking　most　of　the　time；　anyhowclimbing　over　reefs　and
clambering　over　snags　patiently　and　laboriously　all　day　long。　　The
captain　said　she　was　a　〃bully〃　boat；　and　all　she　wanted　was　more　〃shear〃
and　a　bigger　wheel。　　I　thought　she　wanted　a　pair　of　stilts；　but　I　had　the
deep　sagacity　not　to　say　so。




CHAPTER　II。

The　first　thing　we　did　on　that　glad　evening　that　landed　us　at　St。　Joseph
was　to　hunt　up　the　stage…office；　and　pay　a　hundred　and　fifty　dollars
apiece　for　tickets　per　overland　coach　to　Carson　City；　Nevada。

The　next　morning；　bright　and　early；　we　took　a　hasty　breakfast；　and
hurried　to　the　starting…place。　　Then　an　inconvenience　presented　itself
which　we　had　not　properly　appreciated　before；　namely；　that　one　cannot
make　a　heavy　traveling　trunk　stand　for　twenty…five　pounds　of　baggage
because　it　weighs　a　good　deal　more。　　But　that　was　all　we　could　take
twenty…five　pounds　each。　　So　we　had　to　snatch　our　trunks　open；　and　make　a
selection　in　a　good　deal　of　a　hurry。　　We　put　our　lawful　twenty…five
pounds　apiece　all　in　one　valise；　and　shipped　the　trunks　back　to　St。　Louis
again。　　It　was　a　sad　parting；　for　now　we　had　no　swallow…tail　coats　and
white　kid　gloves　to　wear　at　Pawnee　receptions　in　the　Rocky　Mountains；　and
no　stove…pipe　hats　nor　patent…leather　boots；　nor　anything　else　necessary
to　make　life　calm　and　peaceful。　　We　were　reduced　to　a　war…footing。　　Each
of　us　put　on　a　rough；　heavy　suit　of　clothing；　woolen　army　shirt　and
〃stogy〃　boots　included；　and　into　the　valise　we　crowded　a　few　white
shirts；　some　under…clothing　and　such　things。　　My　brother；　the　Secretary；
took　along　about　four　pounds　of　United　States　statutes　and　six　pounds　of
Unabridged　Dictionary；　for　we　did　not　knowpoor　innocentsthat　such
things　could　be　bought　in　San　Francisco　on　one　day　and　received　in　Carson
City　the　next。　　I　was　armed　to　the　teeth　with　a　pitiful　little　Smith　&
Wesson's　seven…shooter；　which　carried　a　ball　like　a　homoeopathic　pill；
and　it　took　the　whole　seven　to　make　a　dose　for　an　adult。　　But　I　thought
it　was　grand。　　It　appeared　to　me　to　be　a　dangerous　weapon。　　It　only　had
one　faultyou　could　not　hit　anything　with　it。　　One　of　our　〃conductors〃
practiced　awhile　on　a　cow　with　it；　and　as　long　as　she　stood　still　and
behaved　herself　she　was　safe；　but　as　soon　as　she　went　to　moving　about；
and　he　got　to　shooting　at　other　things；　she　came　to　grief。　　The　Secretary
had　a　small…sized　Colt's　revolver　strapped　around　him　for　protection
against　the　Indians；　and　to　guard　against　accidents　he　carried　it
uncapped。　　Mr。　George　Bemis　was　dismally　formidable。　　George　Bemis　was
our　fellow…traveler。

We　had　never　seen　him　before。　　He　wore　in　his　belt　an　old　original
〃Allen〃　revolver；　such　as　irreverent　people　called　a　〃pepper…box。〃　Simply
drawing　the　trigger　back；　cocked　and　fired　the　pistol。　　As　the　trigger
came　back；　the　hammer　would　begin　to　rise　and　the　barrel　to　turn　over；
and　presently　down　would　drop　the　hammer；　and　away　would　speed　the　ball。
To　aim　along　the　turning　barrel　and　hit　the　thing　aimed　at　was　a　feat
which　was　probably　never　done　with　an　〃Allen〃　in　the　world。　　But　George's
was　a　reliable　weapon；　nevertheless；　because；　as　one　of　the　stage…drivers
afterward　said；　〃If　she　didn't　get　what　she　went　after；　she　would　fetch
something　else。〃　And　so　she　did。　　She　went　after　a　deuce　of　spades　nailed
against　a　tree；　once；　and　fetched　a　mule　standing　about　thirty　yards　to
the　left　of　it。　　Bemis　did　not　want　the　mule；　but　the　owner　came　out　with
a　double…barreled　shotgun　and　persuaded　him　to　buy　it；　anyhow。　　It　was　a
cheerful　weaponthe　〃Allen。〃　Sometimes　all　its　six　barrels　would　go　off
at　once；　and　then　there　was　no　safe　place　in　all　the　region　round　about；
but　behind　it。

We　took　two　or　three　blankets　for　protection　against　frosty　weather　in
the　mountains。　　In　the　matter　of　luxuries　we　were　modestwe　took　none
along　but　some　pipes　and　five　pounds　of　smoking　tobacco。　　We　had　two
large　canteens　to　carry　water　in；　between　stations　on　the　Plains；　and　we
also　took　with　us　a　little　shot…bag　of　silver　coin　for　daily　expenses　in
the　way　of　breakfasts　and　dinners。

By　eight　o'clock　everything　was　ready；　and　we　were　on　the　other　side　of
the　river。　　We　jumped　into　the　stage；　the　driver　cracked　his　whip；　and　we
bowled　away　and　left　〃the　States〃　behind　us。　　It　was　a　superb　summer
morning；　and　all　the　landscape　was　brilliant　with　sunshine。　　There　was　a
freshness　and　breeziness；　too；　and　an　exhilarating　sense　of　emancipation
from　all　sorts　of　cares　and　responsibilities；　that　almost　made　us　feel
that　the　years　we　had　spent　in　the　close；　hot　city；　toiling　and　slaving；
had　been　wasted　and　thrown　away。　　We　were　spinning　along　through　Kansas；
and　in　the　course　of　an　hour　and　a　half　we　were　fairly　abroad　on　the
great　Plains。　　Just　here　the　land　was　rollinga　grand　sweep　of　regular
elevations　and　depressions　as　far　as　the　eye　could　reachlike　the
stately　heave　and　swell　of　the　ocean's　bosom　after　a　storm。　　And
everywhere　were　cornfields；　accenting　with　squares　of　deeper　green；　this
limitless　expanse　of　grassy　land。　　But　presently　this　sea　upon　dry　ground
was　to　lose　its　〃rolling〃　character　and　stretch　away　for　seven　hundred
miles　as　level　as　a　floor！

Our　coach　was　a　great　swinging　and　swaying　stage；　of　the　most　sumptuous
descriptionan　imposing　cradle　on　wheels。　　It　was　drawn　by　six　handsome
horses；　and　by　the　side　of　the　driver　sat　the　〃conductor；〃　the　legitimate
captain　of　the　craft；　for　it　was　his　business　to　take　charge　and　care　of
the　mails；　baggage；　express　matter；　and　passengers。　　We　three　were　the
only　passengers；　this　trip。　　We　sat　on　the　back　seat；　inside。　　About　all
the　rest　of　the　coach　was　full　of　mail　bagsfor　we　had　three　days'
delayed　mails　with　us。　　Almost　touching　our　knees；　a　perpendicular　wall
of　mail　matter　rose　up　to　the　roof。　　There　was　a　great　pile　of　it
strapped　on　top　of　the　stage；　and　both　the　fore　and　hind　boots　were　full。
We　had　twenty…seven　hundred　pounds　of　it　aboard；　the　driver　said〃a
little　for　Brigham；　and　Carson；　and　'Frisco；　but　the　heft　of　it　for　the
Injuns；　which　is　powerful　troublesome　'thout　they　get　plenty　of　truck　to
read。〃　But　as　he　just　then　got　up　a　fearful　convulsion　of　his　countenance
which　was　suggestive　of　a　wink　being　swallowed　by　an　earthquake；　we
guessed　that　his　remark　was　intended　to　be　facetious；　and　to　mean　that　we
would　unload　the　most　of　our　mail　matter　somewhere　on　the　Plains　and
leave　it　to　the　Indians；　or　whosoever　wanted　it。

We　changed　horses　every　ten　miles；　all　day　long；　and　fairly　flew　over　the
hard；　level　road。　　We　jumped　out　and　stretched　our　legs　every　time　the
coach　stopped；　and　so　the　night　found　us　still　vivacious　and　unfatigued。

After　supper　a　woman　got　in；　who　lived　about　fifty　miles　further　on；　and
we　three　had　to　take　turns　at　sitting　outside　with　the　driver　and
conductor。　　Apparently　she　was　not　a　talkative　woman。　　She　would　sit
there　in　the　gathering　twilight　and　fasten　her　steadfast　eyes　on　a
mosquito　rooting　into　her　arm；　and　slowly　she　would　raise　her　other　hand
till　she　had　got　his　range；　and　then　she　would　launch　a　slap　at　him　that
would　have　jolted　a　cow；　and　after　that　she　would　sit　and　contemplate　the
corpse　with　tranquil　satisfactionfor　she　never　missed　her　mosquito；　she
was　a　dead　shot　at　short　range。　　She　never　removed　a　carcase；　but　left
them　there　for　bait。　　I　sat　by　this　grim　Sphynx　and　watched　her　kill
thirty　or　forty　mosquitoeswatched　her；　and　waited　for　her　to　say
something；　but　she　never　did。　　So　I　finally　opened　the　conversation
myself。　　I　said：

〃The　mosquitoes　are　pretty　bad；　about　here；　madam。〃

〃You　bet！〃

〃What　did　I　understand　you　to　say；　madam？〃

〃You　BET！〃

Then　she　cheered　up；　and　faced　around　and　said：

〃Danged　if　I　didn't　begin　to　think　you　fellers　was　deef　and　dumb。　　I　did；
b'gosh。　　Here　I've　sot；　and　sot；　and　sot；　a…bust'n　muskeeters　and
wonderin'　what　was　ailin'　ye。　　Fust　I　thot　you　was　deef　and　dumb；　then　I
thot　you　was　sick　or　crazy；　or　suthin'；　and　then　by　and　by　I　begin　to
reckon　you　was　a　passel　of　sickly　fools　that　couldn't　think　of　nothing　to
say。　　Wher'd　ye　come　from？〃

The　Sphynx　was　a　Sphynx　no　more！　　The　fountains　of　her　great　deep　were
broken　up；　and　she　rained　the　nine　parts　of　speech　forty　days　and　forty
nights；　metaphorically　speaking；　and　buried　us　under　a　desolating　deluge
of　trivial　gossip　that　left　not　a　crag　or　pinnacle　of　rejoinder
projecting　above　the　tossing　waste　of　dislocated　grammar　and　decomposed
pronunciation！

How　we　suffered；　suffered；　suffered！　　She　went　on；　hour　after　hour；　till
I　was　sorry　I　ever　opened　the　mosquito　question　and　gave　her　a　start。
She　never　did　stop　again　until　she　got　to　her　journey's　end　toward
daylight；　and　then　she　stirred　us　up　as　she　was　leaving　the　stage　（for　we
were　nodding；　by　that　time）；　and　said：

〃Now　you　git　out　at　Cottonwood；　you　fellers；　and　lay　over　a　couple　o'
days；　and　I'll　be　along　some　time　to…night；　and　if　I　can　do　ye　any　good
by　edgin'　in　a　word　now　and　then；　I'm　right　thar。　　Folks'll　tell　you't
I've　always　ben　kind　o'　offish　and　partic'lar　for　a　gal　that's　raised　in
the　woods；　and　I　am　；　with　the　rag…tag　and　bob…tail；　and　a　gal　has　to　be；
if　she　wants　to　be　anything；　but　when　people　comes　along　which　is　my
equals；　I　reckon　I'm　a　pretty　sociable　heifer　after　all。〃

We　resolved　not　to　〃lay　by　at　Cottonwood。〃




CHAPTER　III。

About　an　hour　and　a　half　before　daylight　we　were　bowling　along　smoothly
over　the　roadso　smoothly　that　our　cradle　only　rocked　in　a　gentle；
lulling　way；　that　was　gradually　soothing　us　to　sleep；　and　dulling　our
consciousnesswhen　something　gave　away　under　us！　　We　were　dimly　aware　of
it；　but　indifferent　to　it。　　The　coach　stopped。　　We　heard　the　driver　and
conductor　talking　together　outside；