elizabeth and her german garden-第10部分

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


of　hair　to　whose　other　end　I　was　attached　and　whose　English　name　I　had　been　told　was　pigtail；　just　at　the　instant　when　I　was　springing　away　from　her　into　the　bushes；　and　so　had　led　me　home　triumphant；　holding　on　tight　to　the　rope　of　hair；　and　muttering　with　a　broad　smile　of　special　satisfaction；　〃Diesmal　wirst　du　mir　aber　nicht　entschlupfen！〃　Fraulein　Wundermacher；　now　I　came　to　think　of　it；　must　have　been　a　humourist。　　She　was　certainly　a　clever　and　a　capable　woman。　But　I　wished　at　that　moment　that　she　would　not　haunt　me　so　persistently；　and　that　I　could　get　rid　of　the　feeling　that　she　was　just　behind　in　her　galoshes；　with　her　hand　stretched　out　to　seize　me。　　　Passing　the　arbour；　and　peering　into　its　damp　recesses；　I　started　back　with　my　heart　in　my　mouth。　　I　thought　I　saw　my　grandfather's　stern　eyes　shining　in　the　darkness。　　It　was　evident　that　my　anxiety　lest　the　cousins　should　catch　me　had　quite　upset　my　nerves；　for　I　am　not　by　nature　inclined　to　see　eyes　where　eyes　are　not。　〃Don't　be　foolish；　Elizabeth；〃　murmured　my　soul　in　rather　a　faint　voice；　〃go　in；　and　make　sure。〃　　〃But　I　don't　like　going　in　and　making　sure；〃　I　replied。　　I　did　go　in；　however；　with　a　sufficient　show　of　courage；　and　fortunately　the　eyes　vanished。　What　I　should　have　done　if　they　had　not　I　am　altogether　unable　to　imagine。　Ghosts　are　things　that　I　laugh　at　in　the　daytime　and　fear　at　night；　but　I　think　if　I　were　to　meet　one　I　should　die。　　The　arbour　had　fallen　into　great　decay；　and　was　in　the　last　stage　of　mouldiness。　My　grandfather　had　had　it　made；　and；　like　other　buildings；　it　enjoyed　a　period　of　prosperity　before　being　left　to　the　ravages　of　slugs　and　children；　when　he　came　down　every　afternoon　in　summer　and　drank　his　coffee　there　and　read　his　Kreuzzeitung　and　dozed；　while　the　rest　of　us　went　about　on　tiptoe；　and　only　the　birds　dared　sing。　Even　the　mosquitoes　that　infested　the　place　were　too　much　in　awe　of　him　to　sting　him；　they　certainly　never　did　sting　him；　and　I　naturally　concluded　it　must　be　because　he　had　forbidden　such　familiarities。　Although　I　had　played　there　for　so　many　years　since　his　death；　my　memory　skipped　them　all；　and　went　back　to　the　days　when　it　was　exclusively　his。　Standing　on　the　spot　where　his　armchair　used　to　be；　I　felt　how　well　I　knew　him　now　from　the　impressions　he　made　then　on　my　child's　mind；　though　I　was　not　conscious　of　them　for　more　than　twenty　years。　Nobody　told　me　about　him；　and　he　died　when　I　was　six；　and　yet　within　the　last　year　or　two；　that　strange　Indian　summer　of　remembrance　that　comes　to　us　in　the　leisured　times　when　the　children　have　been　born　and　we　have　time　to　think；　has　made　me　know　him　perfectly　well。　It　is　rather　an　uncomfortable　thought　for　the　grown…up；　and　especially　for　the　parent；　but　of　a　salutary　and　restraining　nature；　that　though　children　may　not　understand　what　is　said　and　done　before　them；　and　have　no　interest　in　it　at　the　time；　and　though　they　may　forget　it　at　once　and　for　years；　yet　these　things　that　they　have　seen　and　heard　and　not　noticed　have　after　all　impressed　themselves　for　ever　on　their　minds；　and　when　they　are　men　and　women　come　crowding　back　with　surprising　and　often　painful　distinctness；　and　away　frisk　all　the　cherished　little　illusions　in　flocks。

I　had　an　awful　reverence　for　my　grandfather。　He　never　petted；　and　he　often　frowned；　and　such　people　are　generally　reverenced。　　Besides；　he　was　a　just　man；　everybody　said；　a　just　man　who　might　have　been　a　great　man　if　he　had　chosen；　and　risen　to　almost　any　pinnacle　of　worldly　glory。　That　he　had　not　so　chosen　was　held　to　be　a　convincing　proof　of　his　greatness；　for　he　was　plainly　too　great　to　be　great　in　the　vulgar　sense；　and　shrouded　himself　in　the　dignity　of　privacy　and　potentialities。　　This；　at　least；　as　time　passed　and　he　still　did　nothing；　was　the　belief　of　the　simple　people　around。　People　must　believe　in　somebody；　and　having　pinned　their　faith　on　my　grandfather　in　the　promising　years　that　lie　round　thirty；　it　was　more　convenient　to　let　it　remain　there。　He　pervaded　our　family　life　till　my　sixth　year；　and　saw　to　it　that　we　all　behaved　ourselves；　and　then　he　died；　and　we　were　glad　that　he　should　be　in　heaven。　　He　was　a　good　German　（and　when　Germans　are　good　they　are　very　good）　who　kept　the　commandments；　voted　for　the　Government；　grew　prize　potatoes　and　bred　innumerable　sheep；　drove　to　Berlin　once　a　year　with　the　wool　in　a　procession　of　waggons　behind　him　and　sold　it　at　the　annual　Wollmarkt；　rioted　soberly　for　a　few　days　there；　and　then　carried　most　of　the　proceeds　home；　hunted　as　often　as　possible；　helped　his　friends；　punished　his　children；　read　his　Bible；　said　his　prayers；　and　was　genuinely　astonished　when　his　wife　had　the　affectation　to　die　of　a　broken　heart。　I　cannot　pretend　to　explain　this　conduct。　　She　ought；　of　course；　to　have　been　happy　in　the　possession　of　so　good　a　man；　but　good　men　are　sometimes　oppressive；　and　to　have　one　in　the　house　with　you　and　to　live　in　the　daily　glare　of　his　goodness　must　be　a　tremendous　business。　　After　bearing　him　seven　sons　and　three　daughters；　therefore；　my　grandmother　died　in　the　way　described；　and　afforded；　said　my　grandfather；　another　and　a　very　curious　proof　of　the　impossibility　of　ever　being　sure　of　your　ground　with　women。　　The　incident　faded　more　quickly　from　his　mind　than　it　might　otherwise　have　done　for　its　having　occurred　simultaneously　with　the　production　of　a　new　kind　of　potato；　of　which　he　was　justly　proud。　He　called　it　Trost　in　Trauer；　and　quoted　the　text　of　Scripture　Auge　um　Auge；　Zabn　um　Zahn；　after　which　he　did　not　again　allude　to　his　wife's　decease。　　In　his　last　years；　when　my　father　managed　the　estate；　and　he　only　lived　with　us　and　criticised；　he　came　to　have　the　reputation　of　an　oracle。　The　neighbours　sent　him　their　sons　at　the　beginning　of　any　important　phase　in　their　lives；　and　he　received　them　in　this　very　arbour；　administering　eloquent　and　minute　advice　in　the　deep　voice　that　rolled　round　the　shrubbery　and　filled　me　with　a　vague　sense　of　guilt　as　I　played。　Sitting　among　the　bushes　playing　muffled　games　for　fear　of　disturbing　him；　I　supposed　he　must　be　reading　aloud；　so　unbroken　was　the　monotony　of　that　majestic　roll。　The　young　men　used　to　come　out　again　bathed　in　perspiration；　much　stung　by　mosquitoes；　and　looking　bewildered；　and　when　they　had　got　over　the　impression　made　by　my　grandfather's　speech　and　presence；　no　doubt　forgot　all　he　had　said　with　wholesome　quickness；　and　set　themselves　to　the　interesting　and　necessary　work　of　gaining　their　own　experience。　　Once；　indeed；　a　dreadful　thing　happened；　whose　immediate　consequence　was　the　abrupt　end　to　the　long　and　close　friendship　between　us　and　our　nearest　neighbour。　His　son　was　brought　to　the　arbour　and　left　there　in　the　usual　way；　and　either　he　must　have　happened　on　the　critical　half　hour　after　the　coffee　and　before　the　Kreuzzeitung；　when　my　grandfather　was　accustomed　to　sleep；　or　he　was　more　courageous　than　the　others　and　tried　to　talk；　for　very　shortly；　playing　as　usual　near　at　hand；　I　heard　my　grandfather's　voice；　raised　to　an　extent　that　made　me　stop　in　my　game　and　quake；　saying　with　deliberate　anger；　〃Hebe　dich　weg　von　mir；　Sohn　des　Satans！〃　Which　was　all　the　advice　this　particular　young　man　got；　and　which　he　hastened　to　take；　for　out　he　came　through　the　bushes；　and　though　his　face　was　very　pale；　there　was　an　odd　twist　about　the　corners　of　his　mouth　that　reassured　me。

This　must　have　happened　quite　at　the　end　of　my　grandfather's　life；　for　almost　immediately　afterwards；　as　it　now　seems　to　me；　he　died　before　he　need　have　done　because　he　would　eat　crab；　a　dish　that　never　agreed　with　him；　in　the　face　of　his　doctor's　warning　that　if　he　did　he　would　surely　die。　〃What！　am　I　to　be　conquered　by　crabs？〃　he　demanded　indignantly　of　the　doctor；　for　apart　from　loving　them　with　all　his　heart　he　had　never　yet　been　conquered　by　anything。〃　　Nay；　sir；　the　combat　is　too　unequaldo　not；　I　pray　you；　try　it　again；〃　replied　the　doctor。　　But　my　grandfather　ordered　crabs　that　very　night　for　supper；　and　went　in　to　table　with　the　shining　eyes　of　one　who　is　determined　to　conquer　or　die；　and　the　crabs　conquered；　and　he　died。　〃He　was　a　just　man；〃　said　the　neighbours；　except　that　nearest　neighbour；　formerly　his　best　friend；　〃and　might　have　been　a　great　one　had　he　so　chosen。〃　And　they　buried　him　with　profound　respect；　and　the　sunshine　came　into　our　home　life　with　a　burst；　and　the　birds　were　not　the　only　creatures　that　sang；　and　the　arbour；　from　having　been　a　temple　of　Delphic　utterances；　sank　into　a　home　for　slugs。

Musing　on　the　strangeness　of　life；　and　on　the　invariable　ultimate　triumph　of　the　insignificant　and　small　over　the　important　and　vast；　illustrated　in　this　instance　by　the　easy　substitution　in　the　arbour　of　slugs　for　grandfathers；　I　went　slowly　round　the　next　bend　of　the　path；　and　came　to　the　broad　walk　along　the　south　side　of　the　high　wall　dividing　the　flower　garden　from　the　kitchen　garden；　in　which　sheltered　position　my　father　had　had　his　choicest　flowers。　　Here　the　cousins　had　been　at　work；　and　all　the　climbing　roses　that　clothed　the　wall　with　beauty　were　gone；　and　some　very　neat　fruit　trees；　tidily　nailed　up　at　proper　intervals；　reigned　in　their　stead。　Evidently　the　cousins　knew　the　value　of　this　warm　aspect；　for　in　the　border　beneath；　filled　in　my　father's　time　in　this　month　of　November　with　the　wallflowers　that　were　to　perfume　the　walk　in　spring；　there　was　a　thick　crop　ofI　stooped　down　close　to　make　sureyes；　a　thick　crop　of　radishes。　　My　eyes　filled　with　tears　at　the　sight　of　those　radishes；　and　it　is　probably　the　only　occasion　on　record　on　which　radishes　have　made　anybody　cry。　My　dear　father；　whom　I　so　passionately　loved；　had　in　his　turn　passionately　loved　this　particular　border；　and　spent　the　spare　moments　of　a　busy　life　enjoying　the　flowers　that　grew　in　it。　He　had　no　time　himself　for　a　more　near　acquaintance　with　the　delights　of　gardening　than　directing　what　plants　were　to　be　used；　but　found　rest　from　his　daily　work　strolling　up　and　down　here；　or　sitting　smoking　as　close　to　the　flowers　as　possible。　〃It　is　the　Purest　of　Humane　pleasures；　it　is　the　Greatest　Refreshment　to　the　Spirits　of　Man；〃　he　would　quote　（for　he　read　other　things　besides　the　Kreuzzeitung）；　looking　round　with　satisfaction　on　reaching　this　fragrant　haven　after　a　hot　day　in　the　fields。　　Wel