the house behind the cedars(雪松后的房子)-第44部分
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The next day but one Tryon received through the mail the following
reply to his letter：
GEORGE TRYON； ESQ。
Dear Sir；I have requested your messenger to say that I will answer
your letter by mail； which I shall now proceed to do。 I assure you that I
was entirely ignorant of your residence in this neighborhood； or it would
have been the last place on earth in which I should have set foot。
As to our past relations； they were ended by your own act。 I frankly
confess that I deceived you； I have paid the penalty； and have no
complaint to make。 I appreciate the delicacy which has made you respect
my brother's secret； and thank you for it。 I remember the whole affair
with shame and humiliation； and would willingly forget it。
As to a future interview； I do not see what good it would do either of
us。 You are white； and you have given me to understand that I am black。
I accept the classification； however unfair； and the consequences； however
unjust； one of which is that we cannot meet in the same parlor； in the same
church； at the same table； or anywhere； in social intercourse； upon a
steamboat we would not sit at the same table； we could not walk together
on the street； or meet publicly anywhere and converse； without unkind
remark。 As a white man； this might not mean a great deal to you； as a
woman； shut out already by my color from much that is desirable； my
good name remains my most valuable possession。 I beg of you to let me
alone。 The best possible proof you can give me of your good wishes is to
relinquish any desire or attempt to see me。 I shall have finished my work
here in a few days。 I have other troubles； of which you know nothing；
and any meeting with you would only add to a burden which is already as
much as I can bear。 To speak of parting is superfluous we have already
parted。 It were idle to dream of a future friendship between people so
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widely different in station。 Such a friendship； if possible in itself； would
never be tolerated by the lady whom you are to marry； with whom you
drove by my schoolhouse the other day。 A gentleman so loyal to his race
and its traditions as you have shown yourself could not be less faithful to
the lady to whom he has lost his heart and his memory in three short
months。
No； Mr。 Tryon； our romance is ended； and better so。 We could never
have been happy。 I have found a work in which I may be of service to
others who have fewer opportunities than mine have been。 Leave me in
peace； I beseech you； and I shall soon pass out of your neighborhood as I
have passed out of your life； and hope to pass out of your memory。
Yours very truly； ROWENA WALDEN。
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XXX
AN UNUSUAL HONOR
To Rena's high…strung and sensitive nature； already under very great
tension from her past experience； the ordeal of the next few days was a
severe one。 On the one hand； Jeff Wain's infatuation had rapidly
increased； in view of her speedy departure。 From Mrs。 Tryon's remark
about Wain's wife Amanda； and from things Rena had since learned； she
had every reason to believe that this wife was living； and that Wain must
be aware of the fact。 In the light of this knowledge； Wain's former
conduct took on a blacker significance than； upon reflection； she had
charitably clothed it with after the first flush of indignation。 That he had
not given up his design to make love to her was quite apparent； and； with
Amanda alive； his attentions； always offensive since she had gathered their
import； became in her eyes the expression of a villainous purpose； of
which she could not speak to others； and from which she felt safe only so
long as she took proper precautions against it。 In a week her school
would be over； and then she would get Elder Johnson； or some one else
than Wain； to take her back to Patesville。 True； she might abandon her
school and go at once； but her work would be incomplete； she would have
violated her contract； she would lose her salary for the month；
explanations would be necessary； and would not be forthcoming。 She
might feign sickness；indeed； it would scarcely be feigning； for she felt
far from well； she had never； since her illness； quite recovered her former
vigorbut the inconvenience to others would be the same； and her self…
sacrifice would have had； at its very first trial； a lame and impotent
conclusion。 She had as yet no fear of personal violence from Wain； but；
under the circumstances； his attentions were an insult。 He was evidently
bent upon conquest； and vain enough to think he might achieve it by virtue
of his personal attractions。 If he could have understood how she loathed
the sight of his narrow eyes； with their puffy lids； his thick； tobacco…
stained lips； his doubtful teeth； and his unwieldy person； Wain； a
monument of conceit that he was； might have shrunk； even in his own
estimation； to something like his real proportions。 Rena believed that； to
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defend herself from persecution at his hands； it was only necessary that
she never let him find her alone。 This； however； required constant
watchfulness。 Relying upon his own powers； and upon a woman's
weakness and aversion to scandal； from which not even the purest may
always escape unscathed； and convinced by her former silence that he had
nothing serious to fear； Wain made it a point to be present at every public
place where she might be。 He assumed； in conversation with her which
she could not avoid； and stated to others； that she had left his house
because of a previous promise to divide the time of her stay between Elder
Johnson's house and his own。 He volunteered to teach a class in the
Sunday…school which Rena conducted at the colored Methodist church；
and when she remained to service； occupied a seat conspicuously near her
own。 In addition to these public demonstrations； which it was impossible
to escape； or； it seemed； with so thick… skinned an individual as Wain； even
to discourage； she was secretly and uncomfortably conscious that she
could scarcely stir abroad without the risk of encountering one of two men；
each of whom was on the lookout for an opportunity to find her alone。
The knowledge of Tryon's presence in the vicinity had been almost as
much as Rena could bear。 To it must be added the consciousness that he；
too； was pursuing her； to what end she could not tell。 After his letter to
her brother； and the feeling therein displayed； she found it necessary to
crush once or twice a wild hope that； her secret being still unknown save
to a friendly few； he might return and claim her。 Now； such an outcome
would be impossible。 He had become engaged to another woman；this
in itself would be enough to keep him from her； if it were not an index of a
vastly more serious barrier； a proof that he had never loved her。 If he had
loved her truly； he would never have forgotten her in three short months；
three long months they had heretofore seemed to her； for in them she had
lived a lifetime of experience。 Another impassable barrier lay in the fact
that his mother had met her； and that she was known in the neighborhood。
Thus cut off from any hope that she might be anything to him； she had no
wish to meet her former lover； no possible good could come of such a
meeting； and yet her fluttering heart told her that if he should come； as his
letter foreshadowed that he might；if he should come； the loving George
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of old； with soft words and tender smiles and specious talk of friendship
ah！ then； her heart would break！ She must not meet himat any cost she
must avoid him。
But this heaping up of cares strained her endurance to the breaking…
point。 Toward the middle of the last week； she knew that she had almost
reached the limit； and was haunted by a fear that she might break down
before the week was over。 Now her really fine nature rose to the
emergency； though she mustered her forces with a great effort。 If she
could keep Wain at his distance and avoid Tryon for three days longer； her
school labors would be ended and she might retire in peace and honor。
〃Miss Rena；〃 said Plato to her on Tuesday； 〃ain't it 'b
