to the last man-第44部分

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〃But　he　would　never　knownever　knowI　lied　to　him！〃　she　wailed
to　the　night　wind。

She　was　lostlost　on　earth　and　to　hope　of　heaven。　　She　had　right
neither　to　live　nor　to　die。　　She　was　nothing　but　a　little　weed　along
the　trail　of　life；　trampled　upon；　buried　in　the　mud。　　She　was　nothing
but　a　single　rotten　thread　in　a　tangled　web　of　love　and　hate　and　revenge。
And　she　had　broken。

Lower　and　lower　she　seemed　to　sink。　　Was　there　no　end　to　this　gulf　of
despair？　　If　Colter　had　returned　he　would　have　found　her　a　rag　and　a
toya　creature　degraded；　fit　for　his　vile　embrace。　　To　be　thrust　deeper
into　the　mireto　be　punished　fittingly　for　her　betrayal　of　a　man's
noble　love　and　her　own　womanhoodto　be　made　an　end　of；　body；　mind；
and　soul。

But　Colter　did　not　return。

The　wind　mourned；　the　owls　hooted；　the　leaves　rustled；　the　insects
whispered　their　melancholy　night　song；　the　camp…fire　flickered　and　faded。
Then　the　wild　forestland　seemed　to　close　imponderably　over　Ellen。　　All
that　she　wailed　in　her　deapair；　all　that　she　confessed　in　her　abasement；
was　true；　and　hard　as　life　could　bebut　she　belonged　to　nature。　　If
nature　had　not　failed　her；　had　God　failed　her？　　It　was　therethe　lonely
land　of　tree　and　fern　and　flower　and　brook；　full　of　wild　birds　and　beasts；
where　the　mossy　rocks　could　speak　and　the　solitude　had　ears；　where　she
had　always　felt　herself　unutterably　a　part　of　creation。　　Thus　a　wavering
spark　of　hope　quivered　through　the　blackness　of　her　soul　and　gathered
light。

The　gloom　of　the　sky；　the　shifting　clouds　of　dull　shade；　split　asunder
to　show　a　glimpse　of　a　radiant　star；　piercingly　white；　cold；　pure；
a　steadfast　eye　of　the　universe；　beyond　all　understanding　and
illimitable　with　its　meaning　of　the　past　and　the　present　and　the
future。　　Ellen　watched　it　until　the　drifting　clouds　once　more　hid
it　from　her　strained　sight。

What　had　that　star　to　do　with　hell？　　She　might　be　crushed　and　destroyed
by　life；　but　was　there　not　something　beyond？　　Just　to　be　born；　just　to
suffer；　just　to　diecould　that　be　all？　　Despair　did　not　loose　its　hold
on　Ellen；　the　strife　and　pang　of　her　breast　did　not　subside。　　But　with　
the　long　hours　and　the　strange　closing　in　of　the　forest　around　her　and
the　fleeting　glimpse　of　that　wonderful　star；　with　a　subtle　divination
of　the　meaning　of　her　beating　heart　and　throbbing　mind；　and；　lastly；
with　a　voice　thundering　at　her　conscience　that　a　man's　faith　in　a
woman　must　not　be　greater；　nobler；　than　her　faith　in　God　and　eternity
with　these　she　checked　the　dark　flight　of　her　soul　toward　destruction。



CHAPTER　XII

A　chill；　gray；　somber　dawn　was　breaking　when　Ellen　dragged　herself
into　the　cabin　and　crept　under　her　blankets；　there　to　sleep　the　sleep
of　exhaustion。

When　she　awoke　the　hour　appeared　to　be　late　afternoon。　　Sun　and　sky
shone　through　the　sunken　and　decayed　roof　of　the　old　cabin。　　Her　uncle；
Tad　Jorth；　lay　upon　a　blanket　bed　upheld　by　a　crude　couch　of　boughs。
The　light　fell　upon　his　face；　pale；　lined；　cast　in　a　still　mold　of　
suffering。　　He　was　not　dead；　for　she　heard　his　respiration。

The　floor　underneath　Ellen's　blankets　was　bare　clay。　　She　and　Jorth
were　alone　in　this　cabin。　　It　contained　nothing　besides　their　beds
and　a　rank　growth　of　weeds　along　the　decayed　lower　logs。　　Half　of　the
cabin　had　a　rude　ceiling　of　rough…hewn　boards　which　formed　a　kind　of　loft。
This　attic　extended　through　to　the　adjoining　cabin；　forming　the　ceiling
of　the　porch…like　space　between　the　two　structures。　　There　was　no
partition。　　A　ladder　of　two　aspen　saplings；　pegged　to　the　logs；　and
with　braces　between　for　steps；　led　up　to　the　attic。

Ellen　smelled　wood　smoke　and　the　odor　of　frying　meat；　and　she　heard　the
voices　of　men。　　She　looked　out　to　see　that　Slater　and　Somers　had　joined
their　partyan　addition　that　might　have　strengthened　it　for　defense；
but　did　not　lend　her　own　situation　anything　favorable。　　Somers　had　
always　appeared　the　one　best　to　avoid。

Colter　espied　her　and　called　her　to　〃Come　an'　feed　your　pale　face。〃
His　comrades　laughed；　not　loudly；　but　guardedly；　as　if　noise　was
something　to　avoid。　　Nevertheless；　they　awoke　Tad　Jorth；　who　began
to　toss　and　moan　on　the　bed。

Ellen　hurried　to　his　side　and　at　once　ascertained　that　he　had　a　high
fever　and　was　in　a　critical　condition。　　Every　time　he　tossed　he　opened
a　wound　in　his　right　breast；　rather　high　up。　　For　all　she　could　see；
nothing　had　been　done　for　him　except　the　binding　of　a　scarf　round　his
neck　and　under　his　arm。　　This　scant　bandage　had　worked　loose。　　Going　to
the　door；　she　called　out：

〃Fetch　me　some　water。〃　　When　Colter　brought　it；　Ellen　was　rummaging
in　her　pack　for　some　clothing　or　towel　that　she　could　use　for　bandages。

〃Weren't　any　of　y'u　decent　enough　to　look　after　my　uncle？〃　she　queried。

〃Huh！　　Wal；　what　the　hell！〃　rejoined　Colter。　　〃We　shore　did　all　we　could。
I　reckon　y'u　think　it　wasn't　a　tough　job　to　pack　him　up　the　Rim。　　He　was
done　for　then　an'　I　said　so。〃

〃I'll　do　all　I　can　for　him；〃　said　Ellen。

〃Shore。　　Go　ahaid。　　When　I　get　plugged　or　knifed　by　that　half…breed
I　shore　hope　y'u'll　be　round　to　nurse　me。〃

〃Y'u　seem　to　be　pretty　shore　of　your　fate；　Colter。〃

〃Shore　as　hell！〃　he　bit　out；　darkly。　　〃Somers　saw　Isbel　an'　his　gang
trailin'　us　to　the　Jorth　ranch。〃

〃Are　y'u　goin'　to　stay　heahan'　wait　for　them？〃

〃Shore　I've　been　quarrelin'　with　the　fellars　out　there　over　that　very
question。　　I'm　for　leavin'　the　country。　　But　Queen；　the　damn　gun　fighter；
is　daid　set　to　kill　that　cowman；　Blue；　who　swore　he　was　King　Fisher；
the　old　Texas　outlaw。　　None　but　Queen　are　spoilin'　for　another　fight。
All　the　same　they　won't　leave　Tad　Jorth　heah　alone。〃

Then　Colter　leaned　in　at　the　door　and　whispered：　〃Ellen；　I　cain't　boss
this　outfit。　　So　let's　y'u　an'　me　shake　'em。　　I've　got　your　dad's　gold。　
Let's　ride　off　to…night　an'　shake　this　country。〃

Colter；　muttering　under　his　breath；　left　the　door　and　returned　to　his
comrades。　　Ellen　had　received　her　first　intimation　of　his　cowardice；
and　his　mention　of　her　father's　gold　started　a　train　of　thought　that
persisted　in　spite　of　her　efforts　to　put　all　her　mind　to　attending
her　uncle。　　He　grew　conscious　enough　to　recognize　her　working　over　him；
and　thanked　her　with　a　look　that　touched　Ellen　deeply。　　It　changed　the
direction　of　her　mind。　　His　suffering　and　imminent　death；　which　she　was
able　to　alleviate　and　retard　somewhat；　worked　upon　her　pity　and　compassion
so　that　she　forgot　her　own　plight。　　Half　the　night　she　was　tending　him；
cooling　his　fever；　holding　him　quiet。　　Well　she　realized　that　but　for
her　ministrations　he　would　have　died。　　At　length　he　went　to　sleep。

And　Ellen；　sitting　beside　him　in　the　lonely；　silent　darkness　of　that
late　hour；　received　again　the　intimation　of　nature；　those　vague　and
nameless　stirrings　of　her　innermost　being；　those　whisperings　out　of
the　night　and　the　forest　and　the　sky。　　Something　great　would　not　let
go　of　her　soul。　　She　pondered。

Attention　to　the　wounded　man　occupied　Ellen；　and　soon　she　redoubled
her　activities　in　this　regard；　finding　in　them　something　of　protection
against　Colter。

He　had　waylaid　her　as　she　went　to　a　spring　for　water；　and　with　a　lunge
like　that　of　a　bear　he　had　tried　to　embrace　her。　　But　Ellen　had　been
too　quick。

〃Wal；　are　y'u　goin'　away　with　me？〃　he　demanded。

〃No。　　I'll　stick　by　my　uncle；〃　she　replied。

That　motive　of　hers　seemed　to　obstruct　his　will。　　Ellen　was　keen　to　see
that　Colter　and　his　comrades　were　at　a　last　stand　and　disintegrating
under　a　severe　strain。　　Nerve　and　courage　of　the　open　and　the　wild　they
possessed；　but　only　in　a　limited　degree。　　Colter　seemed　obsessed　by　his
passion　for　her；　and　though　Ellen　in　her　stubborn　pride　did　not　yet　fear
him；　she　realized　she　ought　to。　　After　that　incident　she　watched　closely；
never　leaving　her　uncle's　bedside　except　when　Colter　was　absent。　　One　or
more　of　the　men　kept　constant　lookout　somewhere　down　the　canyon。

Day　after　day　passed　on　the　wings　of　suspense；　of　watching；　of　ministering
to　her　uncle；　of　waiting　for　some　hour　that　seemed　fixed。

Colter　was　like　a　hound　upon　her　trail。　　At　every　turn　he　was　there　to
importune　her　to　run　off　with　him；　to　frighten　her　with　the　menace　of
the　Isbels；　to　beg　her　to　give　herself　to　him。　　It　came　to　pass　that
the　only　relief　she　had　was　when　she　ate　with　the　men　or　barred　the
cabin　door　at　night。　　Not　much　relief；　however；　was　there　in　the　shut
and　barred　door。　　With　one　thrust　of　his　powerful　arm　Colter　could　have
caved　it　in。　　He　knew　this　as　well　as　Ellen。　　Still　she　did　not　have
the　fear　she　should　have　had。　　There　was　her　rifle　beside　her；　and
though　she　did　not　allow　her　mind　to　run　darkly　on　its　possible　use；
still　the　fact　of　its　being　there　at　hand　somehow　strengthened　her。
Colter　was　a　cat　playing　with　a　mouse；　but　not　yet　sure　of　his　quarry。

Ellen　came　to　know　hours　when　she　was　weakweak　physically；　mentally；
spiritually；　morallywhen　under　the　sheer　weight　of　this　frightful
and　growing　burden　of　suspense　she　was　not　capable　of　fighting　her
misery；　her　abasement；　her　low　ebb　of　vitality；　and　at　the　same　time
wholly　withstanding　Colter's　advances。

He　would　come　into　the　cabin　and；　utterly　indifferent　to　Tad　Jorth；
he　would　try　to　make　bold　and　unrestrained　love　to　Ellen。　　When　he
caught　her　in　one　of　her　unresisting　moments　and　was　able　to　hold
her　in　his　arms　and　kiss　her　he　seemed　to　be　beside　himself　with　the
wonder　of　her。　　At　such　moments；　if　he　had　any　softness　or　gentleness
in　him；　they　expressed　themselves　in　his　sooner　or　later　letting　her　go；
when　apparently　she　was　about　to　faint。　　So　it　must　have　become
fascinatingly　fixed　in　Colter's　mind　that　at　times　Ellen　repulsed
him　with　scorn　and　at　others　could　not　resist　him。

Ellen　had　escaped　two　crises　in　her　relation　with　this　man；　and　as　a
morbid　doubt；　like　a　poisonous　fungus；　began　to　strangle　her　mind；
she　instinctively　divined　that　there　was　an　approaching　and　final
crisis。　　No　uplift　of　her　spirit　came　this　timeno　intimationsno
whisperings。　　How　horrible　it　all　was！　　To　long　to　be　good　and　noble
to　realize　that　she　was　neitherto　sink　lower　day　by　day！　　Must　she
decay　there　like　one　of　these　rotting　logs？　　Worst　of　all；　then；　was
the　insinuatin