hemingway, ernest - garden of eden-第18部分

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126　127


Chapter　Fifteen





HE　HEARD　THE　BUGATTI　start　and　the　noise　came　as　a　surprise　and　an　intrusion　because　there　was　no　motor　noise　in　the　country　where　he　was　living。　He　was　completely　detached　from　every　thing　except　the　story　he　was　writing　and　he　was　living　in　it　as　he　built　it。　The　difficult　parts　he　had　dreaded　he　now　faced　one　after　another　and　as　he　did　the　people；　the　country；　the　days　and　the　nights；　and　the　weather　were　all　there　as　he　wrote。　He　went　on　working　and　he　felt　as　tired　as　if　he　had　spent　the　night　crossing　the　broken　volcanic　desert　and　the　sun　had　caught　him　and　the　others　with　the　dry　gray　lakes　still　ahead。　He　could　feel　the　weight　of　the　heavy　double…barreled　rifle　carried　over　his　shoulder；　his　hand　on　the　muzzle；　and　he　tasted　the　pebble　in　his　mouth。　Across　the　shimmer　of　the　dry　lakes　he　could　see　the　distant　blue　of　the　escarpment。　Ahead　of　him　there　was　no　one；　and　behind　was　the　long　line　of　porters　who　knew　that　they　had　reached　this　point　three　hours　too　late。

It　was　not　him；　of　course；　who　had　stood　there　that　morning；　nor　had　he　even　worn　the　patched　corduroy　jacket　faded　almost　white　now；　the　armpits　rotted　through　by　sweat；　that　he　took　off

then　and　handed　to　his　Kamba　servant　and　brother　who　shared　with　him　the　guilt　and　knowledge　of　the　delay；　watching　him　smell　the　sour；　vinegary　smell　and　shake　his　head　in　disgust　and　then　grin　as　he　swung　the　jacket　over　his　black　shoulder　holding　it　by　the　sleeves　as　they　started　off　across　the　dry…baked　gray；　the　gun　muzzles　in　their　right　hands；　the　barrels　balanced　on　their　shoulders；　the　heavy　stocks　pointing　back　toward　the　line　of　porters。

It　was　not　him；　but　as　he　wrote　it　was　and　when　someone　read　it；　finally；　it　would　be　whoever　read　it　and　what　they　found　when　they　should　reach　the　escarpment；　if　they　reached　it；　and　he　would　make　them　reach　its　base　by　noon　of　that　day；　then　whoever　read　it　would　find　what　there　was　there　and　have　it　always。

All　your　father　found　he　found　for　you　too；　he　thought；　the　good；　the　wonderful；　the　bad；　the　very　bad；　the　really　very　bad；　the　truly　bad　and　then　the　much　worse。　It　was　a　shame　a　man　with　such　a　talent　for　disaster　and　for　delight　should　have　gone　the　way　he　went；　he　thought。　It　always　made　him　happy　to　remember　his　father　and　he　knew　his　father　would　have　liked　this　story。

It　was　nearly　noon　when　he　came　out　of　the　room　and　walked　barefoot　on　the　stones　of　the　patio　to　the　entrance　of　the　hotel。　In　the　big　room　workmen　were　putting　up　a　mirror　on　the　wall　behind　the　bar。　Monsieur　Aurol　and　the　young　waiter　were　with　them　and　he　spoke　to　them　and　went　out　in　the　kitchen　where　he　found　Madame。

〃Have　you　any　beer；　Madame？〃　he　asked　her。

〃Mais　certainement；　Monsieur　J3ourne；〃　she　said　and　brought　a　cold　bottle　from　the　ice　chest。

〃I'll　drink　it　from　the　bottle；〃　he　said。

〃As　Monsieur　wishes；〃　she　said。　〃The　ladies　drove　to　Nice　I　believe。　Monsieur　worked　well？〃

〃Very　well。〃

〃Monsieur　works　too　hard。　It's　not　good　not　to　take　breakfast。〃
〃Is　there　any　of　that　caviar　left　in　the　tin？〃
〃I'm　sure　there　is。
〃I'll　take　a　couple　of　spoonsful。〃
〃Monsieur　is　odd；〃　Madame　said。　〃Yesterday　you　ate　it　with　champagne。　Today　with　beer。〃
〃I'm　alone　today；〃　David　said。　〃Do　you　know　if　my　bicyclette　is　still　in　the　remise？〃
〃It　should　be；〃　Madame　said。
David　took　a　spoonful　of　the　caviar　and　offered　the　tin　to　Madame。　〃Have　some；　Madame。　It's　very　good。〃
〃I　shouldn't；〃　she　said。
〃Don't　be　silly；〃　he　told　her。　〃Take　some。　There's　some　toast。　Take　a　glass　of　champagne。　There's　some　in　the　ice　box。〃
Madame　took　a　spoonful　of　caviar　and　put　it　on　a　piece　of　toast　left　from　breakfast　and　poured　herself　a　glass　of　rose。
〃It　is　excellent；〃　she　said。　〃Now　we　must　put　it　away。
〃Do　you　feel　any　good　effect？〃　David　asked。　〃I'm　going　to　have　one　more　spoon。
〃Ah；　Monsieur。　You　mustn't　joke　like　that。〃
〃Why　not？〃　David　said。　〃My　joking　partners　are　away。　If　those　two　beautiful　women　come　back　tell　them　I　went　for　a　swim　will　you？〃
〃Certainly。　The　little　one　is　a　beauty。　Not　as　beautiful　as　Madame　of　course。〃
〃I　find　her　not　too　ugly；〃　David　said。
〃She's　a　beauty；　Monsieur；　and　very　charming。〃
〃She'll　do　until　something　else　comes　along；〃　David　said。　〃If　you　think　she's　pretty。〃
〃Monsieur；〃　she　said　in　deepest　reproof。
〃What　are　all　the　architectural　reforms？〃　David　asked。
〃The　new　miroir　for　the　bar？　It's　such　a　charming　gift　to　the　maison。〃

〃Everyone's　full　of　charm；〃　David　said。　〃Charm　and　sturgeon　eggs。　Ask　the　boy　to　look　at　my　tires　while　I　put　something　on　my　feet　and　find　a　cap；　will　you　please？〃

〃Monsieur　likes　to　go　barefoot。　Me　too　in　summer。〃

〃We'll　go　barefoot　together　sometime。〃

〃Monsieur；〃　she　said　giving　it　everything。

〃Is　Aurol　jealous？〃

〃Sans　bla　gue　；〃　she　said。　〃I'll　tell　the　two　beautiful　ladies　you've　gone　swimming。〃

〃Keep　the　caviar　away　from　Aurol；〃　David　said。　〃A　bient6t；　chere　Madame。〃

〃A　tout　l'heure；　Monsieur。〃

On　the　shiny　black　road　that　mounted　through　the　pines　as　he　left　the　hotel　he　felt　the　pull　in　his　arms　and　his　shoulders　and　the　rounding　thrust　of　his　feet　against　the　pedals　as　he　climbed　in　the　hot　sun　with　the　smell　of　the　pines　and　the　light　breeze　that　came　from　the　sea。　He　bent　his　back　forward　and　pulled　lightly　against　his　hands　and　felt　the　cadence　that　had　been　ragged　as　he　first　mounted　begin　to　smooth　out　as　he　passed　the　hundred…meter　stones　and　then　the　first　red…topped　kilometer　marker　and　then　the　second。　At　the　headland　the　road　dipped　to　border　the　sea　and　he　braked　and　dismounted　and　put　the　bicycle　over　his　shoulder　and　walked　down　with　it　along　the　trail　to　the　beach。　He　propped　it　against　a　pine　tree　that　gave　off　the　resin　smell　of　the　hot　day　and　he　dropped　down　to　the　rocks；　stripped　and　put　his　espadrilles　on　his　shorts；　shirt　and　cap　and　he　dove　from　the　rocks　into　the　deep　clear　cold　sea。　He　came　up　through　the　varying　light　and　when　his　head　came　out　he　shook　it　to　clear　his　ears　and　then　swam　out　to　sea。　He　lay　on　his　back　and　floated　and　watched　the　sky　and　the　first　white　clouds　that　were　coming　with　the　breeze。

He　swam　back　in　to　the　cove　finally　and　climbed　up　on　the　dark　red　rocks　and　sat　there　in　the　sun　looking　down　into　the　sea。

130　131

He　was　happy　to　be　alone　and　to　have　finished　his　work　for　the　day。　Then　the　loneliness　he　always　had　after　work　started　and　he　began　to　think　about　the　girls　and　to　miss　them；　not　to　miss　the　one　nor　the　other　at　first；　but　to　miss　them　both。　Then　he　thought　of　them；　not　critically；　not　as　any　problem　of　love　or　fondness；　nor　of　obligation　nor　of　what　had　happened　or　would　happen；　nor　of　any　problem　of　conduct　now　or　to　come；　but　simply　of　how　he　missed　them。　He　was　lonely　for　them　both；　alone　and　together；　and　he　wanted　them　both。

Sitting　in　the　sun　on　the　rock　looking　down　into　the　sea；　he　knew　it　was　wrong　to　want　them　both　but　he　did。　Nothing　with　either　of　those　two　can　end　well　and　neither　can　you　now；　he　told　himself。　But　do　not　start　blaming　who　you　love　nor　appor　tioning　blame。　It　will　all　be　apportioned　in　due　time　and　not　by　you。

He　looked　down　into　the　sea　and　tried　to　think　clearly　what　the　situation　was　and　it　did　not　work　out。　The　worst　was　what　had　happened　to　Catherine。　The　next　worse　was　that　he　had　begun　to　care　for　the　other　girl。　He　did　not　have　to　examine　his　conscience　to　know　that　he　loved　Catherine　nor　that　it　was　wrong　to　love　two　women　and　that　no　good　could　ever　come　of　it。　He　did　not　yet　know　how　terrible　it　could　be。　He　only　knew　that　it　had　started。　The　three　of　you　are　already　enmeshed　like　three　gears　that　turn　a　wheel；　he　told　himself　and　also　told　himself　one　gear　had　been　stripped　or；　at　least；　badly　damaged。　He　dove　deep　down　into　the　clear　cold　water　where　he　missed　no　one　and　then　came　up　and　shook　his　head　and　swam　out　further　and　then　turned　to　swim　back　to　the　beach。

He　dressed；　still　wet　from　the　sea　and　put　his　cap　in　his　pocket；　then　climbed　up　to　the　road　with　his　bicycle　and　mounted；　driving　the　machine　up　the　short　hill　feeling　the　lack　of　training　in　his　thighs　as　he　pressed　the　balls　of　his　feet　on　the　pedals　with　the　steady　climbing　thrust　that　carried　him　up　the

black　road　as　though　he　and　the　racing　bike　were　some　wheeled　animal。　Then　he　coasted　down；　his　hands　fingering　the　brakes；　taking　the　curves　fast；　dropping　down　the　shiny　dark　road　through　the　pines；　to　the　turnoff　at　the　back　court　of　the　hotel　where　the　sea　shone　summer　blue　beyond　the　trees。

The　girls　were　not　back　yet　and　he　went　into　the　room　and　took　a　shower；　changed　to　a　fresh　shirt　and　shorts　and　came　out　to　the　bar　with　its　new　and　handsome　mirror。　He　called　the　boy　and　asked　him　to　bring　a　lemon；　a　knife　and　some　ice　and　showed　him　how　to　make　a　Tom　Collins。　Then　he　sat　on　the　bar　stool　and　looked　into　the　mirror　as　he　lifted　the　tall　drink。　I　do　not　know　if　I'd　have　a　drink　with　you　or　not　if　I'd　met　you　four　months　ago；　he　thought。　The　boy　brought　him　the　Eclaireur　de　Nice　and　he　read　it　while　he　waited。　He　had　been　disappointed　not　to　find　the　girls　returned　and　he　missed　them　and　began　to

worry。

When　they　came　in；　finally；　Catherine　was　very　gay　and　excited　and　the　girl　was　contrite　and　very　quiet。

〃Hello　darling；〃　Catherine　said　to　David。　〃Oh　look　at　the　mirror。　They　did　get　it　up。　It's　a　very　good　one　too。　It's　awfully　critical　though。　I'll　go　in　and　clean　up　for　lunch。　I'm　sorry　we're　late。〃

〃We　stopped　in　town　and　had　a　drink；〃　the　girl　said　to　David。　〃I'm　sorry　to　have　kept　you　waiting。〃

〃A　drink？〃　David　said。

The　girl　held　up　two　fingers。　She　put　her　face　up　and　kissed　him　and　was　gone。　David　went　back　to　reading　the　paper。

When　Catherine　came　out　she　was　wearing　the　dark　blue　linen　shirt　that　David　liked　and　slacks　and　she　said；　〃Darling　I　hope　you're　not　cross。　It　wasn't　really　our　fault。　I　saw　Jean　and　I　asked　him　to　have　a　drink　with　us　and　he　did　and　was　so　nice。

〃The　coiffeur？〃

〃Jean。　Of　course。　What　other　Jean　would　I　know　in　Cannes？

He　was　so　nice　and　he　asked　about　you。　Can　I　have　a　martini；　darling？　I've　only　had　one。〃
〃Lunch　must　be　ready　by　now。〃
〃Just　one；　darling。　They　only　have　us　for　lunch。〃
David　made　two　martinis　taking　his　time　and　the