hemingway, ernest - garden of eden-第26部分

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o　see　the　elephant　as　he　had　moved　and　then　had　been　able　to　see　what　the　elephant　had　seen。　He　had　not　gotten　the　great　width　of　the　one　elephant　trail　that　was　a　perfect　road　through　the　forest　nor　the　worn　smooth　rubbing　trees　nor　the　way　other　trails　intersected　so　that　they　were　like　the　map　of　the　Metro　in　Paris。　He　had　not　made　the　light　in　the　forest　where　the　trees　came　together　at　their　tops　and　he　had　not　clarified　certain　things　that　he　must　make　as　they　were　then；　not　as　he　recalled　them　now。　The　distances　did　not　matter　since　all　dis　tances　changed　and　how　you　remembered　them　was　how　they　were。　But　his　change　of　feeling　toward　Juma　and　toward　his　father　and　toward　the　elephant　was　complicated　by　the　exhaustion　that　had　bred　it。　Tiredness　brought　the　beginning　of　under　standing。　The　understanding　was　beginning　and　he　was　realizing　it　as　he　wrote。　But　the　dreadful　true　understanding　was　all　to　come　and　he　must　not　show　it　by　arbitrary　statements　of　rhetoric　but　by　remembering　the　actual　things　that　had　brought　it。　Tomorrow　he　would　get　the　things　right　and　then　go　on。

He　put　the　cahiers　of　manuscript　away　in　the　suitcase　and

locked　it　and　came　out　the　door　of　his　room　and　walked　along　the　front　of　the　hotel　to　where　Marita　was　reading。

〃Do　you　want　breakfast？〃　she　asked。

〃I　think　I'd　like　a　drink。〃

〃Let's　have　it　at　the　bar；〃　she　said。　〃It's　cooler。〃

They　went　in　and　sat　down　on　stools　and　David　poured　from　the　Haig　Pinch　bottle　into　a　glass　and　filled　it　up　with　cold　Perrier。

〃What　became　of　Catherine？〃

〃She　left　very　happy　and　gay。

〃And　how　are　you？〃

〃Happy　and　shy　and　rather　quiet。〃

〃Too　shy　for　me　to　kiss　you？〃

They　held　each　other　and　he　could　feel　himself　start　to　be　whole　again。　He　had　not　known　just　how　greatly　he　had　been　divided　and　separated　because　once　he　started　to　work　he　wrote　from　an　inner　core　which　could　not　be　split　nor　even　marked　nor　scratched。　He　knew　about　this　and　it　was　his　strength　since　all　the　rest　of　him　could　be　riven。

They　sat　at　the　bar　while　the　boy　laid　the　table　and　the　first　coolness　of　fall　was　in　the　breeze　from　the　sea　and　then　sitting　at　the　table　under　the　pines　they　felt　it　again　as　they　ate　and　drank。

〃This　cool　breeze　comes　all　the　way　from　Kurdistan；〃　David　said。　〃The　equinoctial　storms　will　be　coming　soon。〃

〃They　won't　come　today；〃　the　girl　said。　〃We　don't　have　to　worry　about　them　today。〃

〃There　hasn't　been　a　blow　of　any　kind　since　when　we　met　in　Cannes　at　the　cafe。〃

〃Can　you　still　remember　things　that　long　ago？〃

〃It　seems　further　away　than　the　war。〃

〃I　had　the　war　the　last　three　days；〃　the　girl　said。　〃I　just　left　it　this　morning。〃

182　183

。　。
〃I　never　think　about　it；〃　David　said。
〃Now　I've　read　it；〃　Marita　told　him；　〃but　I　don't　understand　about　you。　You　never　made　clear　what　you　believed。〃

He　filled　her　glass　and　then　refilled　his　own。

〃I　didn't　know　until　afterwards；〃　he　said。　〃So　I　didn't　try　to　act　as　though　I　did。　I　suspended　thinking　about　it　while　it　was　happening。　I　only　felt　and　saw　and　acted　and　thought　tactically。　That's　why　it's　not　a　better　book。　Because　I　wasn't　more　intelligent。〃

〃It　is　a　very　good　book。　The　flying　parts　are　wonderful　and　the　feeling　for　the　other　people　and　for　the　planes　themselves。〃

〃I'm　good　on　other　people　and　on　technical　and　tactical　things；〃　David　said。　〃I　don't　mean　to　talk　wet　or　to　brag。　But；　Marita；　nobody　knows　about　himself　when　he　is　really　involved。　Yourself　isn't　worth　considering。　It　would　be　shameful　at　the　time。〃

〃But　afterwards　you　know。〃

〃Sure。　Sometimes。〃

〃Can　I　read　the　narrative？〃

David　poured　wine　in　the　glasses　again。

〃How　much　did　she　tell　you？〃

〃She　said　she　told　me　everything。　She　tells　things　very　well　you　know。〃

〃I'd　rather　you　didn't　read　it；〃　David　said。　〃All　it　would　do　is　make　trouble。　I　didn't　know　there　would　be　you　when　I　wrote　it　and　I　can't　help　her　telling　you　things　but　I　don't　have　to　have　you　read　about　them　too。〃

〃Then　I　mustn't　read　it？〃

〃I　wish　you　wouldn't。　I　don't　want　to　give　you　orders。〃

〃Then　I　have　to　tell　you；〃　the　girl　said。

〃She　let　you　read　it？〃

〃Yes。　She　said　I　should。〃

〃God　damn　her。〃

〃She　didn't　do　it　to　do　wrong。　It　was　when　she　was　so　worried。〃

〃So　you　read　it　all？〃

〃Yes。　It's　wonderful。　It's　so　much　better　than　the　last　book　and　now　the　stories　are　so　much　better　than　it　or　than　anything。〃

〃What　about　the　Madrid　part？〃　He　looked　at　her　and　she　looked　up　at　him　and　then　moistened　her　lips　and　did　not　look　away　and　she　said　very　carefully；　〃I　knew　all　about　that　because　I'm　just　the　way　you　are。


When　they　were　lying　together　Marita　said；　〃You　don't　think　about　her　when　you　make　love　to　me？〃

〃No；　stupid。〃

〃You　don't　want　me　to　do　her　things？　Because　I　know　them　all　and　I　can　do　them。〃

〃Stop　talking　and　just　feel。〃

〃I　can　do　them　better　than　she　can。〃

〃Stop　talking。〃

〃Don't　think　you　have　to&mdash；〃

〃Don't　talk。〃

〃But　you　don't　have　to&mdash；〃

〃No　one　has　to　but　we　are&mdash；〃

They　lay　holding　each　other　close　and　hard　and　then　gently　finally　and　Marita　said；　〃I　have　to　go　away　but　I'll　be　back。　Please　sleep　for　me。〃

She　kissed　him　and　when　she　came　back　he　was　asleep。　He　had　meant　to　wait　for　her　but　he　had　fallen　asleep　while　he　waited。　She　lay　down　by　him　and　kissed　him　and　when　he　did　not　wake　she　lay　by　him　very　quietly　and　tried　to　sleep　too。　But　she　was　not　sleepy　and　she　kissed　him　very　softly　again　and　then　commenced　to　play　with　him　very　gently　while　she　pushed　her　breasts　against　him。　He　stirred　in　his　sleep　and　she　lay　now　with　her　head　down　below　his　chest　and　played　softly　and　searchingly　making　small　intimacies　and　discoveries。

It　was　a　long　cool　afternoon　and　David　slept　and　when　he
184　185
。


woke　Marita　was　gone　and　he　heard　the　two　girls'　voices　on　the　terrace。　He　dressed　and　unbolted　the　door　to　his　working　room　and　then　came　out　from　the　door　of　that　room　onto　the　flagstones。　There　was　no　one　on　the　terrace　except　the　waiter　who　was　taking　in　the　tea　things　and　he　found　the　girls　in　the　bar。


Chapter　Twenty…three


　　THE　TWO　GIRLS　were　both　sitting　at　the　bar　with　a　bottle　of　Perrier…Jouet　in　a　bucket　with　ice　and　they　both　looked　fresh　and　lovely。　〃It's　just　like　meeting　an　ex…husband；〃　Catherine　said。　〃It　makes　me　feel　very　sophisticated。〃　She　had　never　looked　gayer　or　more　lovely。　〃I　must　say　it　agrees　with　you。〃　She　looked　at　David　in　mock　appraisal。　〃Do　you　think　he's　all　right？〃　Marita　said。　She　looked　at　David　and　blushed。　〃And　well　you　might　blush；〃　Catherine　said。　〃Look　at　her；　David。〃　〃She　looks　very　well；〃　David　said。　〃So　do　you。〃　〃She　looks　about　sixteen；〃　Catherine　said。　〃She　said　she　told　you　about　reading　the　narrative。　〃I　think　you　should　have　asked　me；〃　David　said。　〃I　know　I　should；〃　Catherine　said。　〃But　I　started　to　read　it　for　myself　and　then　it　was　so　interesting　I　thought　Heiress　ought

to　read　it　too。
〃I'd　have　said　no。〃

。　。

〃But　the　point　is；〃　Catherine　said；　〃if　he　ever　says　no　about　anything；　Marita；　just　keep　right　on。　It　doesn't　mean　a　thing。〃
〃I　don't　believe　it；〃　Marita　said。　She　smiled　at　David。
〃That's　because　he　hasn't　written　the　narrative　up　to　date。　When　he　does　you'll　find　out。〃
〃I'm　through　with　the　narrative；〃　David　said。
〃That's　dirty；〃　Catherine　said。　〃That　was　my　present　and　our　project。〃
〃You　must　write　it；　David；〃　the　girl　said。　〃You　will　won't　you？〃
〃She　wants　to　be　in　it；　David；〃　Catherine　said。　〃And　it　will　be　so　much　better　when　you　have　a　dark　girl　too。〃
David　poured　himself　a　glass　of　the　champagne。　He　saw　Marita　look　at　him；　a　warning；　and　he　said　to　Catherine；　〃I'll　go　on　with　it　when　I　finish　the　stories。　What　did　you　do　with　your　day？〃
〃I　had　a　fine　day。　I　made　decisions　and　planned　things。〃
〃Oh　God；〃　David　said。
〃They're　all　straightforward　plans；〃　Catherine　said。　〃You　don't　have　to　groan　about　them。　You've　been　doing　just　whatever　you　wanted　to　do　all　day　and　I　was　pleased。　But　I　have　a　right　to　make　a　few　plans。〃
〃What　sort　of　plans？〃　David　asked。　His　voice　sounded　very　flat。
〃First　we　have　to　start　seeing　about　getting　the　book　out。　I'm　going　to　have　to　have　the　manuscript　typed　up　to　where　it　is　now　and　see　about　getting　illustrations。　I　have　to　see　the　artists　and　make　the　arrangements。〃
〃You've　had　a　very　busy　day；〃　David　said。　〃You　know；　don't　you；　that　you　don't　get　manuscripts　typed　until　whoever　writes　them　has　gone　over　them　and　has　them　ready　for　typing？〃
〃That　isn't　necessary　because　I　only　need　a　rough　draft　to　show　the　artists。〃
〃I　see。　And　if　I　don't　want　it　copied　yet？〃
〃Don't　you　want　it　brought　out？　I　do。　And　someone　has　to　get　started　on　something　practical。〃

〃Who　are　the　artists　you　thought　up　today？〃

〃Different　ones　for　different　parts。　Marie　Laurencin；　Pascen；　Derain；　Dufy　and　Picasso。〃

〃For　Christ　sake；　Derain。〃

〃Can't　you　see　a　nice　Laurencin　of　Marita　and　me　in　the　car　when　we　stopped　the　first　time　by　the　Loup　on　the　way　to　Nice？〃

〃Nobody's　written　that。〃

〃Well　write　it　then。　It's　certainly　much　more　interesting　and　instructive　than　a　lot　of　natives　in　a　kraal　or　whatever　you　call　it　covered　with　flies　and　scabs　in　Central　Africa　with　your　drunken　father　staggering　around　smelling　of　sour　beer　and　not　knowing　which　ones　of　the　little　horrors　he　had　fathered。〃

〃There　goes　the　ball　game；〃　David　said。

〃What　did　you　say；　David？〃　Marita　said。

〃I　said　thank　you　very　much　for　having　lunch　with　me；　David　told　her。

〃Why　don't　you　thank　her　for　the　rest　of　it？〃　Catherine　said。　〃She　really　must　have　done　something　impressive　to　make　you　sleep　as　though　you　were　dead　until　the　absolute　end　of　the　afternoon。　Thank　her　for　that　at　least。〃

〃Thank　you　for　going　swimming；〃　David　said　to　the　girl。

〃Oh　did　you　swim？〃　Catherine　said。　〃I'm　glad　you　swam。

〃We　swam　quite　far；〃　Marita　said。　〃And　we　had　a　very　good　lunch。　Did　you　have　a　good　lunch；　Catherine？〃

〃I　think　so；〃　Catherine　said。　〃I　don't　remember。〃

〃Where　were　you？〃　Marita　asked　gently。

〃Saint　Raphael；〃　Catherine　said。　〃I　remember　stopping　there　but　I　can't　remember　about　lunch。　I　never　notice　when　I　eat　by　myself。　But　I'm　quite　sure　I　did　have　lunch　there。　I　know　I　intended　to。〃

〃Was　it　nice　driving　bac