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SKETCHES OF YOUNG GENTLEMEN
SKETCHES OF YOUNG
GENTLEMEN
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SKETCHES OF YOUNG GENTLEMEN
TO THE YOUNG LADIES OF THE UNITED KINGDOM OF
GREAT BRITAIN AND IRELAND�察�ALSO THE YOUNG LADIES OF
THE PRINCIPALITY OF WALES�察 �AND LIKEWISE THE YOUNG
LADIES RESIDENT IN THE ISLES OF GUERNSEY�察 �JERSEY�察�
ALDERNEY�察 �AND SARK�察 �THE HUMBLE DEDICATION OF THEIR
DEVOTED ADMIRER�察�
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SKETCHES OF YOUNG GENTLEMEN
SHEWETH�察 �
THAT your Dedicator has perused�察 �with feelings of virtuous
indignation�察�a work purporting to be 'Sketches of Young Ladies��' written
by Quiz�察 �illustrated by Phiz�察 �and published in one volume�察 �square
twelvemo。
THAT after an attentive and vigilant perusal of the said work�察 �your
Dedicator is humbly of opinion that so many libels�察�upon your Honourable
sex�察�were never contained in any previously published work�察�in twelvemo
or any other mo。
THAT in the title page and preface to the said work�察�your Honourable
sex are described and classified as animals�察�and although your Dedicator is
not at present prepared to deny that you ARE animals�察 �still he humbly
submits that it is not polite to call you so。
THAT in the aforesaid preface�察�your Honourable sex are also described
as Troglodites�察�which�察�being a hard word�察�may�察�for aught your Honourable
sex or your Dedicator can say to the contrary�察 �be an injurious and
disrespectful appellation。
THAT the author of the said work applied himself to his task in malice
prepense and with wickedness aforethought�察�a fact which�察�your Dedicator
contends�察�is sufficiently demonstrated�察�by his assuming the name of Quiz�察�
which�察 �your Dedicator submits�察 �denotes a foregone conclusion�察 �and
implies an intention of quizzing。
THAT in the execution of his evil design�察�the said Quiz�察�or author of
the said work�察�must have betrayed some trust or confidence reposed in him
by some members of your Honourable sex�察�otherwise he never could have
acquired so much information relative to the manners and customs of your
Honourable sex in general。
THAT actuated by these considerations�察�and further moved by various
slanders and insinuations respecting your Honourable sex contained in the
said work�察 �square twelvemo�察 �entitled 'Sketches of Young Ladies��' your
Dedicator ventures to produce another work�察 �square twelvemo�察 �entitled
'Sketches of Young Gentlemen��' of which he now solicits your acceptance
and approval。
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SKETCHES OF YOUNG GENTLEMEN
THAT as the Young Ladies are the best companions of the Young
Gentlemen�察�so the Young Gentlemen should be the best companions of the
Young Ladies�察�and extending the comparison from animals ��to quote the
disrespectful language of the said Quiz�� to inanimate objects�察 �your
Dedicator humbly suggests�察 �that such of your Honourable sex as
purchased the bane should possess themselves of the antidote�察 �and that
those of your Honourable sex who were not rash enough to take the first�察�
should lose no time in swallowing the last�察 �prevention being in all cases
better than cure�察�as we are informed upon the authority�察�not only of general
acknowledgment�察�but also of traditionary wisdom。
THAT with reference to the said bane and antidote�察�your Dedicator has
no further remarks to make�察�than are comprised in the printed directions
issued with Doctor Morison's pills�察 �namely�察 �that whenever your
Honourable sex take twenty´five of Number�察�1�察�you will be pleased to take
fifty of Number 2�察�without delay。
And your Dedicator shall ever pray�察�&c。
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SKETCHES OF YOUNG GENTLEMEN
THE BASHFUL YOUNG
GENTLEMAN
We found ourself seated at a small dinner party the other day�察�opposite
a stranger of such singular appearance and manner�察 �that he irresistibly
attracted our attention。
This was a fresh´coloured young gentleman�察�with as good a promise of
light whisker as one might wish to see�察�and possessed of a very velvet´like�察�
soft´looking countenance。 We do not use the latter term invidiously�察�but
merely to denote a pair of smooth�察 �plump�察 �highly´coloured cheeks of
capacious dimensions�察�and a mouth rather remarkable for the fresh hue of
the lips than for any marked or striking expression it presented。 His
whole face was suffused with a crimson blush�察 �and bore that downcast�察�
timid�察�retiring look�察�which betokens a man ill at ease with himself。
There was nothing in these symptoms to attract more than a passing
remark�察�but our attention had been originally drawn to the bashful young
gentleman�察�on his first appearance in the drawing´room above´ stairs�察�into
which he was no sooner introduced�察�than making his way towards us who
were standing in a window�察 �and wholly neglecting several persons who
warmly accosted him�察 �he seized our hand with visible emotion�察 �and
pressed it with a convulsive grasp for a good couple of minutes�察 �after
which he dived in a nervous manner across the room�察 �oversetting in his
way a fine little girl of six years and a quarter old ´ and shrouding himself
behind some hangings�察 �was seen no more�察 �until the eagle eye of the
hostess detecting him in his concealment�察�on the announcement of dinner�察�
he was requested to pair off with a lively single lady�察�of two or three and
thirty。
This most flattering salutation from a perfect stranger�察 �would have
gratified us not a little as a token of his having held us in high respect�察�and
for that reason been desirous of our acquaintance�察�if we had not suspected
from the first�察�that the young gentleman�察�in making a desperate effort to
get through the ceremony of introduction�察�had�察�in the bewilderment of his
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SKETCHES OF YOUNG GENTLEMEN
ideas�察 �shaken hands with us at random。 This impression was fully
confirmed by the subsequent behaviour of the bashful young gentleman in
question�察 �which we noted particularly�察 �with the view of ascertaining
whether we were right in our conjecture。
The young gentleman seated himself at table with evident misgivings�察�
and turning sharp round to pay attention to some observation of his
loquacious neighbour�察�overset his bread。 There was nothing very bad in
this�察�and if he had had the presence of mind to let it go�察�and say nothing
about it�察�nobody but the man who had laid the cloth would have been a bit
the wiser�察�but the young gentleman in various semi´successful attempts to
prevent its fall�察�played with it a little�察�as gentlemen in the streets may be
seen to do with their hats on a windy day�察�and then giving the roll a smart
rap in his anxiety to catch it�察�knocked it with great adroitness into a tureen
of white soup at some distance�察�to the unspeakable terror and disturbance
of a very amiable bald gentleman�察�who was dispensing the contents。 We
thought the bashful young gentleman would have gone off in an apoplectic
fit�察�consequent upon the violent rush of blood to his face at the occurrence
of this catastrophe。
From this moment we perceived�察�in the phraseology of the fancy�察�that
it was 'all up' with the bashful young gentleman�察 �and so indeed it was。
Several benevolent persons endeavoured to relieve his embarrassment by
taking wine with him�察 �but finding that it only augmented his sufferings�察�
and that after mingling sherry�察�champagne�察�hock�察�and moselle together�察�he
applied the greater part of the mixture externally�察�instead of internally�察�they
gradually dropped off�察�and left him to the exclusive care of the talkative
lady�察 �who�察 �not noting the wildness of his eye�察 �firmly believed she had
secured a listener。 He broke a glass or two in the course of the meal�察�and
disappeared shortly afterwards�察 �it is inferred that he went away in some
confusion�察�inasmuch as he left the house in another gentleman's coat�察�and
the footman's hat。
This little incident led us to reflect upon the most prominent
characteristics of bashful young gentlemen in the abstract�察 �and as this
portable volume will be the great text´book of young ladies in all future
generations�察�we record them here for their guidance and behoof。
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SKETCHES OF YOUNG GENTLEMEN
If the bashful young gentleman�察�in turning a street corner�察 �chance to
stumble suddenly upon two or three young ladies of his acquaintance�察�
nothing can exceed his confusion and agitation。 His first impulse is to
make a great variety of bows�察 �and dart past them�察 �which he