sketches of young gentlemen(定煤武平殆宙)-及13何蛍
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length�察 �a short silence occurring�察 �the young ladies on either side of the
young gentleman fell suddenly fast asleep�察 �and the young gentleman�察�
winking upon us to preserve silence�察 �won a pair of gloves from each�察�
thereby causing them to wake with equal suddenness and to scream very
loud。 The lively conversation to which this pleasantry gave rise�察�lasted
for the remainder of the ride�察�and would have eked out a much longer one。
We dined rather more comfortably than people usually do under such
circumstances�察�nothing having been left behind but the cork´screw and the
bread。 The married gentlemen were unusually thirsty�察 �which they
attributed to the heat of the weather�察�the little boys ate to inconvenience�察�
mammas were very jovial�察 �and their daughters very fascinating�察 �and the
attendants being well´behaved men�察�got exceedingly drunk at a respectful
distance。
We had our eye on Mr。 Balim at dinner´time�察 �and perceived that he
flourished wonderfully�察�being still surrounded by a little group of young
ladies�察�who listened to him as an oracle�察�while he ate from their plates and
drank from their glasses in a manner truly captivating from its excessive
playfulness。 His conversation�察 �too�察 �was exceedingly brilliant。 In fact�察�
one elderly lady assured us�察 �that in the course of a little lively
BADINAGE on the subject of ladies' dresses�察 �he had evinced as much
knowledge as if he had been born and bred a milliner。
As such of the fat people who did not happen to fall asleep after dinner
entered upon a most vigorous game at ball�察�we slipped away alone into a
thicker part of the wood�察�hoping to fall in with Mr。 Balim�察�the greater part
of the young people having dropped off in twos and threes and the young
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ladies' young gentleman among them。 Nor were we disappointed�察�for we
had not walked far�察�when�察�peeping through the trees�察�we discovered him
before us�察�and truly it was a pleasant thing to contemplate his greatness。
The young ladies' young gentleman was seated upon the ground�察�at the
feet of a few young ladies who were reclining on a bank�察 �he was so
profusely decked with scarfs�察�ribands�察�flowers�察�and other pretty spoils�察�that
he looked like a lamb ´ or perhaps a calf would be a better simile ´ adorned
for the sacrifice。 One young lady supported a parasol over his interesting
head�察�another held his hat�察�and a third his neck´cloth�察�which in romantic
fashion he had thrown off�察 �the young gentleman himself�察 �with his hand
upon his breast�察 �and his face moulded into an expression of the most
honeyed sweetness�察 �was warbling forth some choice specimens of vocal
music in praise of female loveliness�察�in a style so exquisitely perfect�察�that
we burst into an involuntary shout of laughter�察�and made a hasty retreat。
What charming fellows these young ladies' young gentlemen are� �
Ducks�察�dears�察�loves�察�angels�察�are all terms inadequate to express their merit。
They are such amazingly�察�uncommonly�察�wonderfully�察�nice men。
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CONCLUSION
As we have placed before the young ladies so many specimens of
young gentlemen�察 �and have also in the dedication of this volume given
them to understand how much we reverence and admire their numerous
virtues and perfections�察�as we have given them such strong reasons to treat
us with confidence�察�and to banish�察�in our case�察�all that reserve and distrust
of the male sex which�察 �as a point of general behaviour�察 �they cannot do
better than preserve and maintain ´ we say�察�as we have done all this�察�we
feel that now�察 �when we have arrived at the close of our task�察 �they may
naturally press upon us the inquiry�察�what particular description of young
gentlemen we can conscientiously recommend。
Here we are at a loss。 We look over our list�察 �and can neither
recommend the bashful young gentleman�察 �nor the out´and´out young
gentleman�察�nor the very friendly young gentleman�察�nor the military young
gentleman�察 �nor the political young gentleman�察 �nor the domestic young
gentleman�察 �nor the censorious young gentleman�察 �nor the funny young
gentleman�察 �nor the theatrical young gentleman�察 �nor the poetical young
gentleman�察 �nor the throwing´off young gentleman�察�nor the young ladies'
young gentleman。
As there are some good points about many of them�察�which still are not
sufficiently numerous to render any one among them eligible�察�as a whole�察�
our respectful advice to the young ladies is�察�to seek for a young gentleman
who unites in himself the best qualities of all�察�and the worst weaknesses of
none�察�and to lead him forthwith to the hymeneal altar�察�whether he will or
no。 And to the young lady who secures him�察�we beg to tender one short
fragment of matrimonial advice�察�selected from many sound passages of a
similar tendency�察�to be found in a letter written by Dean Swift to a young
lady on her marriage。
'The grand affair of your life will be�察�to gain and preserve the esteem
of your husband。 Neither good´nature nor virtue will suffer him to
ESTEEM you against his judgment�察 �and although he is not capable of
using you ill�察 �yet you will in time grow a thing indifferent and perhaps
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contemptible�察 �unless you can supply the loss of youth and beauty with
more durable qualities。 You have but a very few years to be young and
handsome in the eyes of the world�察�and as few months to be so in the eyes
of a husband who is not a fool�察�for I hope you do not still dream of charms
and raptures�察�which marriage ever did�察�and ever will�察�put a sudden end to。'
From the anxiety we express for the proper behaviour of the fortunate
lady after marriage�察�it may possibly be inferred that the young gentleman
to whom we have so delicately alluded�察�is no other than ourself。 Without
in any way committing ourself upon this point�察�we have merely to observe�察�
that we are ready to receive sealed offers containing a full specification of
age�察 �temper�察 �appearance�察 �and condition�察 �but we beg it to be distinctly
understood that we do not pledge ourself to accept the highest bidder。
These offers may be forwarded to the Publishers�察 �Messrs。 Chapman
and Hall�察�London�察�to whom all pieces of plate and other testimonials of
approbation from the young ladies generally�察�are respectfully requested to
be addressed。
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