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sketches of young gentlemen(定煤武平殆宙)-及6何蛍

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election�察  �with    which   he   intersperses   his   conversation      at   intervals   with 

surprising effect。      But his great topic is the constitution�察�upon which he 

will declaim�察�by the hour together�察�with much heat and fury�察�not that he 

has any particular information on the subject�察�but because he knows that 

the    constitution    is  somehow      church    and   state�察  �and   church    and   state 



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somehow the constitution�察�and that the fellows on the other side say it isn't�察�

which is quite a sufficient reason for him to say it is�察�and to stick to it。 

     Perhaps his greatest topic of all�察�though�察�is the people。               If a fight takes 

place   in   a   populous   town�察  �in   which   many   noses   are   broken�察  �and   a   few 

windows�察      �the   young     gentleman      throws     down     the   newspaper       with   a 

triumphant   air�察  �and   exclaims�察  �'Here's   your   precious   people��'          If   half´a´ 

dozen boys run across the course at race time�察�when it ought to be kept 

clear�察  �the   young     gentleman      looks   indignantly   round�察     �and   begs    you   to 

observe      the  conduct     of  the   people�察   �if  the  gallery    demand     a  hornpipe 

between the play and the afterpiece�察�the same young gentleman cries 'No' 

and 'Shame' till he is hoarse�察�and then inquires with a sneer what you think 

of   popular   moderation   NOW�察  �in   short�察  �the   people   form   a   never´failing 

theme for him�察�and when the attorney�察�on the side of his candidate�察�dwells 

upon it with great power of eloquence at election time�察�as he never fails to 

do�察�the   young   gentleman   and   his   friends�察�and the   body  they  head�察  �cheer 

with great violence against THE OTHER PEOPLE�察�with whom�察�of course�察�

they have no possible connexion。              In much the same manner the audience 

at a theatre never fail to be highly amused with any jokes at the expense of 

the public  ´   always   laughing   heartily  at   some   other  public�察  �and never   at 

themselves。 

     If   the   political   young   gentleman   be   a   Radical�察  �he   is   usually   a   very 

profound person indeed�察�having great store of theoretical questions to put 

to   you�察  �with   an   infinite   variety   of   possible   cases   and   logical   deductions 

therefrom。       If   he   be   of   the   utilitarian   school�察  �too�察  �which   is   more   than 

probable�察  �he     is  particularly   pleasant     company�察     �having     many   ingenious 

remarks      to   offer   upon    the   voluntary      principle    and    various    cheerful 

disquisitions connected with the population of the country�察�the position of 

Great Britain in the scale of nations�察�and the balance of power。                     Then he 

is   exceedingly   well   versed   in   all   doctrines   of   political   economy   as   laid 

down in the newspapers�察�and knows a great many parliamentary speeches 

by heart�察�nay�察�he has a small stock of aphorisms�察�none of them exceeding a 

couple of lines in length�察�which will settle the toughest question and leave 

you   nothing   to   say。    He   gives   all   the   young   ladies   to   understand�察  �that 

Miss   Martineau   is   the   greatest   woman   that   ever   lived�察  �and   when   they 



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praise the good looks of Mr。 Hawkins the new member�察�says he's very well 

for a representative�察�all things considered�察�but he wants a little calling to 

account�察�and he is more than half afraid it will be necessary to bring him 

down on his knees for that vote on the miscellaneous estimates。                     At this�察�

the young ladies express much wonderment�察�and say surely a Member of 

Parliament is not to be brought upon his knees so easily�察�in reply to which 

the   political   young   gentleman   smiles   sternly�察  �and   throws   out   dark   hints 

regarding the speedy arrival of that day�察�when Members of Parliament will 

be    paid    salaries�察  �and   required     to  render    weekly     accounts     of   their 

proceedings�察      �at  which     the   young     ladies   utter   many     expressions     of 

astonishment        and    incredulity�察   �while     their   lady´mothers       regard    the 

prophecy as little else than blasphemous。 

     It is extremely improving and interesting to hear two political young 

gentlemen�察     �of   diverse   opinions�察   �discuss    some    great   question    across    a 

dinner´table�察�such as�察�whether�察�if the public were admitted to Westminster 

Abbey   for   nothing�察  �they   would   or   would   not   convey   small   chisels   and 

hammers   in   their   pockets�察  �and   immediately   set   about   chipping   all   the 

noses   off   the   statues�察  �or   whether�察  �if   they   once   got   into   the   Tower   for   a 

shilling�察�they would not insist upon trying the crown on their own heads�察�

and loading and firing off all the small arms in the armoury�察�to the great 

discomposure of Whitechapel and the Minories。                   Upon these�察�and many 

other    momentous        questions     which    agitate   the   public    mind    in   these 

desperate days�察�they will discourse with great vehemence and irritation for 

a considerable time together�察�both leaving off precisely where they began�察�

and each thoroughly persuaded that he has got the better of the other。 

     In society�察�at assemblies�察�balls�察�and playhouses�察�these political young 

gentlemen are perpetually on the watch for a political allusion�察�or anything 

which     can   be   tortured    or  construed     into   being   one�察  �when�察    �thrusting 

themselves   into   the  very  smallest openings   for  their   favourite   discourse�察�

they fall upon the unhappy company tooth and nail。                   They have recently 

had many favourable opportunities of opening in churches�察�but as there the 

clergyman has it all his own way�察�and must not be contradicted�察�whatever 

politics he preaches�察�they are fain to hold their tongues until they reach the 

outer door�察�though at the imminent risk of bursting in the effort。 



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     As    such   discussions     can  please    nobody     but  the   talkative   parties 

concerned�察  �we   hope   they   will   henceforth   take   the   hint   and   discontinue 

them�察  �otherwise   we   now   give   them   warning�察  �that   the   ladies   have   our 

advice to discountenance such talkers altogether。 



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               THE DOMESTIC YOUNG 

                           GENTLEMAN 



     Let us make a slight sketch of our amiable friend�察�Mr。 Felix Nixon。 We 

are   strongly   disposed   to   think�察  �that   if   we   put   him   in   this   place�察  �he   will 

answer our purpose without another word of comment。 

     Felix�察�then�察�is a young gentleman who lives at home with his mother�察�

just within the twopenny´post office circle of three miles from St。 Martin´ 

le´Grand。      He    wears    Indiarubber    goloshes   when     the   weather    is  at  all 

damp�察  �and   always   has   a   silk   handkerchief   neatly  folded   up   in   the   right´ 

hand pocket of his great´coat�察�to tie over his mouth when he goes home at 

night�察   �moreover�察    �being   rather   near´   sighted�察  �he   carries  spectacles    for 

particular   occasions�察  �and   has   a   weakish   tremulous   voice�察  �of   which   he 

makes great use�察�for he talks as much as any old lady breathing。 

     The two chief subjects of Felix's discourse�察�are himself and his mother�察�

both of whom would appear to be very wonderful and interesting persons。 

As Felix and his mother are seldom apart in body�察�so Felix and his mother 

are scarcely ever separate in spirit。 If you ask Felix how he finds himself 

to´day�察   �he   prefaces   his   reply  with   a  long   and   minute    bulletin   of  his 

mother's     state   of  health�察  �and   the  good    lady   in  her   turn�察 �edifies   her 

acquaintance with a circumstantial and alarming account�察�how he sneezed 

four times and coughed once after being out in the rain the other night�察�but 

having his feet promptly put into hot water�察�and his head into a flannel´ 

something�察  �which   we   will   not   describe   more   particularly   than   by   this 

delicate   allusion�察  �was   happily   brought   round   by   the   next   morning�察  �and 

enabled to go to business as usual。 

     Our friend is not a very adventurous or hot´headed person�察�but he has 

passed   through   many   dangers�察  �as   his   mother   can   testify�此    �there   is   one 

great story in particular�察�concerning a hackney coachman who wanted to 

overcharge   him   one   night   for   bringing   them   home   from   the   play�察  �upon 

which Felix gave the aforesaid coachman a look which his mother thought 

would have crushed him to the earth�察�but which did not crush him quite�察�



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                            SKETCHES OF YOUNG GENTLEMEN 



for he continued to demand another sixpence�察�notwithstanding that Felix 

took out his pocket´book�察�and�察�with the aid of a flat candle�察�pointed out the 

fare   in   print�察  �which   the   coachman   obstinately   disregarding�察  �he   shut   the 

street´door with a slam which his mother shudders to think of�察�and then�察�

roused to the most appalling pitch of passion by the coachman knocking a 

double knock to show that he was by no means convinced�察�he broke with 

uncontrollable force from his parent and the servant girl�察�and ru

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