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the complete plays-及100何蛍

弌傍�� the complete plays 忖方�� 耽匈4000忖

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!!!!隆堋響頼��紗秘慕禰厮宴和肝写偬堋響��




          In her enterprising movements��

           She is Englandwith improvements��

     Which we dutifully offer to our mother´land��



King�此    �Our city we have beautifiedwe've done it willy´nilly

          And all that isn't Belgrave Square is Strand and

Piccadilly。



Chorus�此       �We haven't any slummeries in England��



King�此    �The chamberlain our native stage has purged beyond a

ques´

               tion。

          Of ;risky; situation and indelicate suggestion��

          No piece is tolerated if it's costumed indiscreetly



Chorus�此       �In short this happy country has been Anglicized com´

                    pletely��

                    It really is surprising�察�etc。



King�此    �Our peerage we've remodelled on an intellectual basis��

          Which certainly is rough on our hereditary races



Chorus�此       �We are going to remodel it in England。



King�此    �The Brewers and the Cotton Lords no longer seek

admission��

          And literary merit meets with proper recognition



Chorus�此       �As literary merit does in England��



King�此    �Who knows but we may count among our intellectual

chickens

          Like you�察�an Earl of Thackery and p'r'aps a Duke of

               Dickens

          Lord Fildes and Viscount Millais ��when they come�� we'll 

               welcome sweetly



Chorus�此  �In short�察�this happy country has been Anglicized

completely��

          It really is surprising�察�etc。



        ��At the end all rise and replace their chairs。��



King�此    �Now�察�then for our first Drawing´Room。  Where are the

Prin´

          cesses�拭 �What an extraordinary thing it is that since

Euro´

          pean looking´glasses have been supplied to the Royal bed´

          rooms my daughters are invariably late��



Lord D。�此 �Sir�察�their Royal Highnesses await your pleasure in the

          Ante´room。



King�此    �Oh。  Then request them to do us the favor to enter at

once。



��Enter all the Royal Household�察�including ��besides the Lord

Chamber´

     lain�� the Vice´Chamberlain�察�the Master of the Horse�察�the

Master

     of the Buckhounds�察�the Lord High Treasurer�察�the Lord Steward��

the

     Comptroller of the Household�察�the Lord´in´Waiting�察�the Field

     Officer in Brigade Waiting�察�the Gold and Silver Stick�察�and the

     Gentlemen Ushers。  Then enter the three Princesses ��their

trains

     carried by Pages of Honor���察�Lady Sophy�察�and the

     Ladies´in´Waiting。��



King�此    �My daughters�察�we are about to attempt a very solemn

ceremo´

          nial�察�so no giggling�察�if you please。  Now�察�my Lord

Chamber´

          lain�察�we are ready。



Lord D。�此 �Then�察�ladies and gentlemen�察�places�察�if you please。  His

Maj´

          esty will take his place in front of the throne�察�and will

be

          so obliging as to embrace all the debutantes。  ��LADY

SOPHY

          much shocked。��



King�此    �Whatmust I really��



Lord D。�此 �Absolutely indispensable。



King�此    �More jam for the Palace Peeper��



��The King takes his place in front of the throne�察�the Princess Zara

on

     his left�察�the two younger Princesses on the left of Zara。��



King�此    �Now�察�is every one in his place��



Lord D。�此 �Every one is in his place。



King�此    �Then let the revels commence。



��Enter the ladies attending the Drawing´Room。  They give their

cards

     to the Groom´in´Waiting�察�who passes them to the

Lord´in´Waiting��

     who passes them to the Vice´Chamberlain�察�who passes them to

the

     Lord Chamberlain�察�who reads the names to the King as each lady

     approaches。  The ladies curtsey in succession to the King and

the

     three Princesses�察�and pass out。  When all the presentations

have

     been accomplished�察�the King�察�Princesses�察�and Lady Sophy come

     forward�察�and all the ladies re´enter。��



                          RECITATIVE  King



          This ceremonial our wish displays

          To copy all Great Britain's courtly ways。

          Though lofty aims catastrophe entail��

          We'll gloriously succeed or nobly fail��



                      UNACCOMPANIED CHORUS



          Eagle High in Cloudland soaring

               Sparrow twittering on a reed

          Tiger in the jungle roaring

               Frightened fawn in grassy mead

          Let the eagle�察�not the sparrow��

          Be the object of your arrow

               Fix the tiger with your eye

               Pass the fawn in pity by。

               Glory then will crown the day

               Glory�察�glory�察�anyway��



                                                             Exit

all。



Enter Scaphio and Phantis�察�now dressed as judges in red and ermine

robes

     and undress wigs。  They come down stage melodramatically 

     working together。



                     DUET  Scaphio and Phantis。



Sca。�此              �With fury deep we burn



Phan。�此                                           �We do



Sca。�此              �We fume with smothered rage



Phan。�此                                           �We do



Sca。�此              �These Englishmen who rule supreme��

                    Their undertaking they redeem

                    By stifling every harmless scheme

                         In which we both engage



Phan。�此                                           �They do



Sca。�此                   �In which we both engage



Phan。�此             �We think it is our turn



Sca。�此                                            �We do



Phan。�此             �We think our turn has come



Sca。�此                                            �We do。



Phan。�此             �These Englishmen�察�they must prepare

                    To seek at once their native air。

                    The King as heretofore�察�we swear��

                    Shall be beneath our thumb



Sca。�此                                            �He shall



Phan。�此             �Shall be beneath out thumb



Sca。�此                                            �He shall。



Both�此。�with great energy�� 

                    For this mustn't be�察�and this won't do。

                    If you'll back me�察�then I'll back you��

                              No�察�this won't do��

                              No�察�this mustn't be。

                       With fury deep we burn。。。



                            Enter the King。



King�此    �Gentlemen�察�gentlemenreally�  �This unseemly display of

          energy within the Royal precincts is altogether unpardon´

          able。  Pray�察�what do you complain of��



Scaphio�此 。�furiously��  What do we complain of�拭 �Why�察�through the

          innovations introduced by the Flowers of Progress all our

          harmless schemes for making a provision for our old age

are

          ruined。  Our Matrimonial Agency is at a standstill�察�our

          Cheap Sherry business is in bankruptcy�察�our Army Clothing

          contracts are paralyzed�察�and even our Society paper�察�the

          Palace Peeper�察�is practically defunct��



King�此    �Defunct�拭 �Is that so�拭 �Dear�察�dear�察�I am truly sorry。



Scaphio�此 �Are you aware that Sir Bailey Barre has introduced a law

of

          libel by which all editors of scurrilous newspapers are

pub´

          licly floggedas in England�拭 �And six of our editors

have

          resigned in succession�  �Now�察�the editor of a scurrilous

          paper can stand a good dealhe takes a private thrashing

as

          a matter of courseit's considered in his salarybut no

          gentleman likes to be publicly flogged。



King�此    �Naturally。  I shouldn't like it myself。



Phantis�此 �Then our Burlesque Theater is absolutely ruined��



King�此    �Dear me。  Well�察�theatrical property is not what it was。



Phantis�此 �Are you aware that the Lord Chamberlain�察�who has his own

          views as to the best means of elevating the national

drama��

          has declined to license any play that is not in blank

verse

          and three hundred years oldas in England��



Scaphio�此 �And as if that wasn't enough�察�the County Councillor has

or´

          dered a four´foot wall to be built up right across the

          proscenium�察�in case of fireas in England。



Phantis�此 �It's so hard on the companywho are liable to be roasted

          aliveand this has to be met by enormously increased

          salariesas in England。



Scaphio�此 �You probably know that we've contracted to supply the

entire

          nation with a complete English outfit。  But perhaps you

do

          not know that�察�when we send in our bills�察�our customers

          plead liability limited to a declared capital of

          eighteenpence�察�and apply to be dealt with under the

          Winding´up Actas in England��



King�此    �Really�察�gentlemen�察�this is very irregular。  If you will

be

          so good as to formulate a detailed list of your

grievances

          in writing�察�addressed to the Secretary of Utopia Limited��

          they will be laid before the Board�察�in due course�察�at

their

          next monthly meeting。



Scaphio�此 �Are we to understand that we are defied��



King�此    �That is the idea I intended to convey。



Phantis�此 �Defied�  �We are defied��



Scaphio�此 。�furiously��  Take careyou know our powers。  Trifle with

          us�察�and you die��



                  TRIO  Scaphio�察�Phantis�察�and King。



Sca。�此    �If you think that�察�when banded in unity��

          We may both be defied with impunity��

               You are sadly misled of a verity��



Phan。�此   �If you value repose and tranquility��

          You'll revert to a state of docility��

               Or prepare to regret your temerity��



King。�此   �If my speech is unduly refractory

          You will find it a course satisfactory

               At an early Board meeting to show it up。

          Though if proper excuse you ca

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