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the complete plays-及111何蛍

弌傍�� the complete plays 忖方�� 耽匈4000忖

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!!!!隆堋響頼��紗秘慕禰厮宴和肝写偬堋響��




          Now it is not easy to make a prisoner smile。 And it

          should not be difficult to be a good jester�察�seeing

          that thou are one。



POINT     Difficult�拭�Nothing easier。 Nothing easier。 Attend�察�and

          I will prove it to thee��



     No。 14。 Oh� �a private buffoon is a light´hearted loon

                             ��SONG��

                             Point



POINT          Oh� �a private buffoon is a light´hearted loon��

               If you listen to popular rumour��

          From morning to night he's so joyous and bright��

               And he bubbles with wit and good humour��

          He's so quaint and so terse��

                    Both in prose and in verse��

               Yet though people forgive his transgression��

          There are one or two rules that all family fools

               Must observe�察�if they love their profession。

                    There are one or two rules��

                         Half´a´dozen�察�maybe��

                    That all family fools��

                         Of whatever degree��

               Must observe if they love their profession。



          If you wish to succeed as a jester�察�you'll need

               To consider each person's auricular��

          What is all right for B would quite scandalize C

               ��For C is so very particular����

          And D may be dull�察�and E's very thick skull

               Is as empty of brains as a ladle��

          While F is F sharp�察�and will cry with a carp��

               That he's known your best joke from his cradle��

                    When your humour they flout��

                         You can't let yourself go��

                    And it does put you out

                         When a person says�察 �Oh��

               I have known that old joke from my cradle� �



          If your master is surly�察�from getting up early

               ��And tempers are short in the morning����

          An inopportune joke is enough to provoke

               Him to give you�察�at once�察�a month's warning。

          Then if you refrain�察�he is at you again��

               For he likes to get value for money��

          He'll ask then and there�察�with an insolent stare��

               ;If you know that you're paid to be funny�拭�

                    It adds to the tasks

                         Of a merryman's place��

                    When your principal asks��

                         With a scowl on his face��

               If you know that you're paid to be funny��



          Comes a Bishop�察�maybe�察�or a solemn D。D。

               Oh�察�beware of his anger provoking��

          Better not pull his hair

                    Don't stick pins in his chair��

               He won't understand practical joking。

          If the jests that you crack have an orthodox smack��

               You may get a bland smile from these sages��

          But should it�察�by chance�察�be imported from France��

               Half´a´crown is stopped out of your wages��

                    It's a general rule��

                         Tho' your zeal it may quench��

                    If the Family Fool

                         Makes a joke that's too French��

               Half´a´crown is stopped out of his wages��



          Though your head it may rack with a bilious attack��

               And your senses with toothache you're losing��

          And you're mopy and flat

                    they don't fine you for that

               If you're properly quaint and amusing��

          Though your wife ran away with a soldier that day��

               And took with her your trifle of money��

          Bless your heart�察�they don't mind

                    they're exceedingly kind

               They don't blame youas long as you're funny��

                    It's a comfort to feel

                         If your partner should flit��

                    Though you suffer a deal��

                         They don't mind it a bit

               They don't blame youso long as you're funny��



POINT     And so thou wouldst be a jester eh��



WILFRED   Aye��



POINT     Now�察�listen� �My sweetheart�察�Elsie Maynard�察�was

          secretly wed to this Fairfax half an hour ere he

          escaped。



WILFRED   She did well。



POINT     She did nothing of the kind�察�so hold thy peace and

          perpend。 Now�察�while he liveth she is dead to me and I

          to her�察�and so�察�my jibes and jokes notwithstanding�察�I

          am the saddest and the sorriest dog in England��



WILFRED   Thou art a very dull dog indeed。



POINT     Now�察�if thou wilt swear that thou didst shoot this

          Fairfax while he was trying to swim across the river

          it needs but the discharge of an arquebus on a dark

          night and that he sank and was seen no more�察�I'll

          make thee the very Archbishop of jesters�察�and that in

          two days'time� �Now�察�what sayest thou��



WILFRED   I am to lie��



POINT     Heartily。 But thy lie must be a lie of circumstance��

          which I will support with the testimony of eyes��

          ears��and tongue。



WILFRED   And thou wilt qualify me as a jester��



POINT     As a jester among jesters。 I will teach thee all my

          original songs�察�my self´constructed riddles�察�my own

          ingenious paradoxes�察�nay�察�more�察�I will reveal to thee

          the source whence I get them。 Now�察�what sayest thou��



WILFRED   Why�察�if it be but a lie thou wantest of me�察�I hold it

          cheap enough�察�and I say yes�察�it is a bargain��



               No。 15。 Hereupon we're both agreed

                             ��DUET��

                       Point and Wilfred



BOTH           Hereupon we're both agreed��

                    All that we two

                    Do agree to

               We'll secure by solemn deed��

                    To prevent all

                    Error mental。



POINT               You on Elsie are to call

                    With a story

                    Grim and gory��



WILFRED             How this Fairfax died�察�and all

                    I declare to

                    You're to swear to。



POINT                    I to swear to��



WILFRED                  I declare to��



POINT                    I to swear to��



WILFRED                  I declare to��



BOTH                I to swear to��/I declare to��

                    You declare to��/You're to swear to��

                    I to swear to��/I declare to。



BOTH           Tell a tale of cock and bull��

               Of convincing detail full

                    Tale tremendous��

                    Heav'n defend us��

               What a tale of cock and bull��



               In return for your/my own part

                    You are/I am making�察�undertaking

               To instruct me/you in the art

                    ��Art amazing�察�wonder raising��



POINT               Of a jester�察�jesting free。

                    Proud position

                    High ambition��



WILFRED             And a lively one I'll be��

                    Wag´a´wagging��

                    Never flagging��



POINT                    Wag´a´wagging��



WILFRED                  Never flagging��



POINT                    Wag´a´wagging��



WILFRED                  Never flagging��



BOTH                Never flagging��/Wag´a´wagging��

                    Wag´a´wagging��/Never flagging��

                    Never flagging��/Wag´a´wagging��



BOTH           Tell a tale of cock and bull��

               Of convincing detail full

                    Tale tremendous��

                    Heav'n defend us��

               What a tale of cock and bull��



POINT               What a tale of cock��



WILFRED             What a tale of bull��



POINT               What a tale of cock��



WILFRED             What a tale of bull��



BOTH           What a tale of cock and bull��

                    Cock and bull�察�cock and bull��

               Heav'n defend us��

               What a tale of cock and bull��



     ��Exeunt together。



     ��Enter FAIRFAX



FAIRFAX   Two days gone�察�and no news of poor Fairfax。 The dolts��

          They seek him everywhere save within a dozen yards of

          his dungeon。 So I am free� �Free�察�but for the cursed

          haste with which I hurried headlong into the bonds of

          matrimony with Heaven knows whom� �As far as I

          remember�察�she should have been young�察�but even had not

          her face been concealed by her kerchief�察�I doubt

          whether�察�in my then plight�察�I should have taken much

          note of her。 Free�拭�Bah� �The Tower bonds were but a

          thread of silk compared with these conjugal fetters

          which I�察�fool that I was�察�placed upon mine own hands。

          From the one I broke readily enough how to break the

          other��





               No。 16。 Free from his fetters grim

                            ��BALLAD��

                            Fairfax



FAIRFAX             Free from his fetters grim

                    Free to depart��

               Free both in life and limb

                    In all but heart��

               Bound to an unknown bride

                    For good and ill��

               Ah�察�is not one so tied

                    A pris'ner still�察�a pris'ner still��

               Ah�察�is not one so tied

                    A pris'ner still��



               Free�察�yet in fetters held

                    Till his last hour��

               Gyves that no smith can weld��

                    No rust devour��

               Although a monarch's hand

                    Had set him free��

               Of all the captive band

                    The saddest he�察�the saddest he��

               Of

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