the story of an african farm-第51部分

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saw　no　further。



〃Come　nearer！　　I'll　turn　the　lamp　up　a　bit；　that　you　can　have　a　look　at

her。　　A　pretty　thing；　isn't　it？〃　said　the　landlady。



Near　the　foot　of　the　bed　was　a　dent　in　the　crimson　quilt；　and　out　of　it

Doss'　small　head　and　bright　eyes　looked　knowingly。



Then　Gregory　looked　up　at　what　lay　on　the　cushion。　　A　little　white；　white

face；　transparent　as　an　angel's　with　a　cloth　bound　round　the　forehead；　and

with　soft　hair　tossed　about　on　the　pillow。



〃We　had　to　cut　it　off；〃　said　the　woman；　touching　it　with　her　forefinger。　

〃Soft　as　silk；　like　a　wax　doll's。〃



But　Gregory's　heart　was　bleeding。



〃Never　get　up　again；　the　doctor　says；〃　said　the　landlady。



Gregory　uttered　one　word。　　In　an　instant　the　beautiful　eyes　opened　widely；

looked　round　the　room　and　into　the　dark　corners。



〃Who　is　here？　　Whom　did　I　hear　speak？〃



Gregory　had　sunk　back　behind　the　curtain；　the　landlady　drew　it　aside；　and

pulled　him　forward。



〃Only　this　lady；　ma'ama　nurse　by　profession。　　She　is　willing　to　stay　and

take　care　of　you；　if　you　can　come　to　terms　with　her。〃



Lyndall　raised　herself　on　her　elbow；　and　cast　one　keen　scrutinizing　glance

over　him。



〃Have　I　never　seen　you　before？〃　she　asked。



〃No。〃



She　fell　back　wearily。



〃Perhaps　you　would　like　to　arrange　the　terms　between　yourselves；〃　said　the

landlady。　　〃Here　is　a　chair。　　I　will　be　back　presently。〃



Gregory　sat　down；　with　bent　head　and　quick　breath。　　She　did　not　speak；　and

lay　with　half…closed　eyes；　seeming　to　have　forgotten　him。



〃Will　you　turn　the　lamp　down　a　little？〃　she　said　at　last；　〃I　cannot　bear

the　light。〃



Then　his　heart　grew　braver　in　the　shadow；　and　he　spoke。　　Nursing　was　to

him；　he　said；　his　chosen　life's　work。　　He　wanted　no　money　if　　She　stopped

him。



〃I　take　no　service　for　which　I　do　not　pay；〃　she　said。　　〃What　I　gave　to　my

last　nurse　I　will　give　to　you；　if　you　do　not　like　it　you　may　go。〃



And　Gregory　muttered　humbly；　he　would　take　it。



Afterward　she　tried　to　turn　herself。　　He　lifted　her！　　Ah！　a　shrunken　little

body；　he　could　feel　its　weakness　as　he　touched　it。　　His　hands　were　to　him

glorified　for　what　they　had　done。



〃Thank　you！　that　is　so　nice。　　Other　people　hurt　me　when　they　touch　me；〃　she

said。　　〃Thank　you！〃　　Then　after　a　little　while　she　repeated　humbly；　〃Thank

you；　they　hurt　me　so。〃



Gregory　sat　down　trembling。　　His　little　ewe…lamb；　could　they　hurt　her？



The　doctor　said　of　Gregory　four　days　after；　〃She　is　the　most　experienced

nurse　I　ever　came　in　contact　with。〃



Gregory；　standing　in　the　passage；　heard　it　and　laughed　in　his　heart。　　What

need　had　he　of　experience？　　Experience　teaches　us　in　a　millennium　what

passion　teaches　us　in　an　hour。　　A　Kaffer　studies　all　his　life　the

discerning　of　distant　sounds；　but　he　will　never　hear　my　step；　when　my　love

hears　it；　coming　to　her　window　in　the　dark　over　the　short　grass。



At　first　Gregory's　heart　was　sore　when　day　by　day　the　body　grew　lighter；

and　the　mouth　he　fed　took　less；　but　afterward　he　grew　accustomed　to　it；　and

was　happy。　　For　passion　has　one　cry；　one　only〃Oh；　to　touch　thee；

Beloved！〃



In　that　quiet　room　Lyndall　lay　on　the　bed　with　the　dog　at　her　feet；　and

Gregory　sat　in　his　dark　corner　watching。



She　seldom　slept；　and　through　those　long；　long　days　she　would　lie　watching

the　round　streak　of　sunlight　that　came　through　the　knot　in　the　shutter；　or

the　massive　lion's　paw　on　which　the　wardrobe　rested。　　What　thoughts　were　in

those　eyes？　Gregory　wondered；　he　dared　not　ask。



Sometimes　Doss　where　he　lay　on　her　feet　would　dream　that　they　two　were　in

the　cart；　tearing　over　the　veld；　with　the　black　horses　snorting；　and　the

wind　in　their　faces；　and　he　would　start　up　in　his　sleep　and　bark　aloud。　

Then　awaking；　he　would　lick　his　mistress'　hand　almost　remorsefully；　and

slink　quietly　down　into　his　place。



Gregory　thought　she　had　no　pain；　she　never　groaned；　only　sometimes；　when

the　light　was　near　her；　he　thought　he　could　see　contractions　about　her　lips

and　eyebrows。



He　slept　on　the　sofa　outside　her　door。



One　night　he　thought　he　heard　a　sound；　and；　opening　it　softly；　he　looked

in。　　She　was　crying　out　aloud；　as　if　she　and　her　pain　were　alone　in　the

world。　　The　light　fell　on　the　red　quilt；　and　the　little　hands　that　were

clasped　over　the　head。　　The　wide…open　eyes　were　looking　up；　and　the　heavy

drops　fell　slowly　from　them。



〃I　cannot　bear　any　more；　not　any　more；〃　she　said　in　a　deep　voice。　　〃Oh；

God；　God！　have　I　not　borne　in　silence？　　Have　I　not　endured　these　long；　long

months？　　But　now；　now；　oh；　God；　I　cannot！〃



Gregory　knelt　in　the　doorway　listening。



〃I　do　not　ask　for　wisdom；　not　human　love；　not　work；　not　knowledge；　not　for

all　things　I　have　longed　for；〃　she　cried；　〃only　a　little　freedom　from　pain！

Only　one　little　hour　without　pain！　　Then　I　will　suffer　again。〃



She　sat　up；　and　bit　the　little　hand　Gregory　loved。



He　crept　away　to　the　front　door；　and　stood　looking　out　at　the　quiet

starlight。　　When　he　came　back　she　was　lying　in　her　usual　posture；　the　quiet

eyes　looking　at　the　lion's　claw。　　He　came　close　to　the　bed。



〃You　have　much　pain　tonight？〃　he　asked　her。



〃No；　not　much。〃



〃Can　I　do　anything　for　you？〃



〃No；　nothing。〃



She　still　drew　her　lips　together；　and　motioned　with　her　fingers　toward　the

dog　who　lay　sleeping　at　her　feet。　　Gregory　lifted　him　and　laid　him　at　her

side。　　She　made　Gregory　turn　open　the　bosom　of　her　nightdress；　that　the　dog

might　put　his　black　muzzle　between　her　breasts。　　She　crossed　her　arms　over

him。　　Gregory　left　them　lying　there　together。



Next　day；　when　they　asked　her　how　she　was；　she　answered　〃Better。〃



〃Some　one　ought　to　tell　her；〃　said　the　landlady；　〃we　can't　let　her　soul　go

out　into　eternity　not　knowing；　especially　when　I　don't　think　it　was　all

right　about　the　child。　　You　ought　to　go　and　tell　her；　doctor。〃



So；　the　little　doctor；　edged　on　and　on；　went　in　at　last。　　When　he　came　out

of　the　room　he　shook　his　fist　in　the　landlady's　face。



〃The　next　time　you　have　any　devil's　work　to　do；　do　it　yourself；〃　he　said；

and　he　shook　his　fist　in　her　face　again；　and　went　away　swearing。



When　Gregory　went　into　the　bedroom　he　only　found　her　moved；　her　body　curled

up；　and　drawn　close　to　the　wall。　　He　dared　not　disturb　her。　　At　last；　after

a　long　time；　she　turned。



〃Bring　me　food；〃　she　said；　〃I　want　to　eat。　　Two　eggs；　and　toast；　and　meat

two　large　slices　of　toast；　please。〃



Wondering；　Gregory　brought　a　tray　with　all　that　she　had　asked　for。



〃Sit　me　up；　and　put　it　close　to　me；〃　she　said；　〃I　am　going　to　eat　it　all。〃　

She　tried　to　draw　the　things　near　her　with　her　fingers；　and　re…arranged　the

plates。　　She　cut　the　toast　into　long　strips；　broke　open　both　eggs；　put　a

tiny　morsel　of　bread　into　her　own　mouth；　and　fed　the　dog　with　pieces　of

meat　put　into　his　jaws　with　her　fingers。



〃Is　it　twelve　o'clock　yet？〃　she　said；　〃I　think　I　do　not　generally　eat　so

early。　　Put　it　away；　please；　carefullyno；　do　not　take　it　awayonly　on

the　table。　　When　the　clock　strikes　twelve　I　will　eat　it。〃



She　lay　down　trembling。　　After　a　little　while　she　said：



〃Give　me　my　clothes。〃



He　looked　at　her。



〃Yes；　I　am　going　to　dress　tomorrow。　　I　should　get　up　now；　but　it　is　rather

late。　　Put　them　on　that　chair。　　My　collars　are　in　the　little　box；　my　boots

behind　the　door。〃



Her　eyes　followed　him　intently　as　he　collected　the　articles　one　by　one；　and

placed　them　on　the　chair　as　she　directed。



〃Put　it　nearer；〃　she　said；　〃I　cannot　see　it；〃　and　she　lay　watching　the

clothes；　with　her　hand　under　her　cheek。



〃Now　open　the　shutter　wide；〃　she　said；　〃I　am　going　to　read。〃



The　old；　old　tone　was　again　in　the　sweet　voice。　　He　obeyed　her；　and　opened

the　shutter；　and　raised　her　up　among　the　pillows。



〃Now　bring　my　books　to　me；〃　she　said；　motioning　eagerly　with　her　fingers；

〃the　large　book；　and　the　reviews　and　the　playsI　want　them　all。〃



He　piled　them　round　her　on　the　bed；　she　drew　them　greedily　closer；　her　eyes

very　bright；　but　her　face　as　white　as　a　mountain　lily。



〃Now　the　big　one　off　the　drawers。　　No；　you　need　not　help　me　to　hold　my

book；〃　she　said；　〃I　can　hold　it　for　myself。〃



Gregory　went　back　to　his　corner；　and　for　a　little　time　the　restless　turning

over　of　leaves　was　to　be　heard。



〃Will　you　open　the　window；〃　she　said；　almost　querulously；　〃and　throw　this

book　out？　　It　is　so　utterly　foolish。　　I　thought　it　was　a　valuable　book；　but

the　words　are　merely　strung　together；　they　make　no　sense。　　Yesso！〃　she

said　with　approval；　seeing　him　fling　it　out　into　the　street。　　〃I　must　have

been　very　foolish　when　I　thought　that　book　good。〃



Then　she　turned　to　read；　and　leaned　her　little　elbows　resolutely　on　the

great　volume；　and　knit　her　brows。　　This　was　Shakespeareit　must　mean

something。



〃I　wish　you　would　take　a　handkerchief　and　tie　it　tight　round　my　head；　it

aches　so。〃



He　had　not　been　long　in　his　seat　when　he　saw　drops　fall　from　beneath　the

hands　that　shaded　the　eyes；　on　to　the　page。



〃I　am　not　accustomed　to　so　much　light；　it　makes　my　head　swim　a　little；〃　she

said。　　〃Go　out　and　close　the　shutter。〃



When　he　came　back；　she　lay　shrivelled　up　among　the　pillows。



He　heard　no　sound　of　weeping；　but　the　shoulders　shook。　　He　darkened　the

room　completely。



When　Gregory　went　to　his　sofa　that　night；　she　told　him　to　wake　her　early；

she　would　be　dressed　before　breakfast。　　Nevertheless；　when　morning　came；

she　said　it　was　a　little　cold；　and　lay　all　day　watching　her　clothes　upon

the　chair。　　Still　she　sent　for　her　oxen　in　the　country；　they　would　start　on

Monday　and　go　down　to　the　Colony。



In　the　afternoon　she　told　him　to　open　the　window　wide；　and　draw　the　bed

near　it。



It　was　a　leaden　afternoon；　the　dull　rain…clouds　rested　close　to　the　roofs

of　the　houses；　and　the　little　street　was　silent　and　deserted。　　Now　and　then

a　gust　of　wind　eddying　round　caught　up　th