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¡¨How¡¡does¡¡The¡¡Family¡¡Guide¡¡say¡¡you¡¡ought¡¡to¡¡speak¡¡of¡¡your¡¡great¡­¡¡grandma£»¡¡sweet¡¡one£¿¡¨¡¡asked¡¡Dan¡£

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¡¨What¡¡is¡¡a¡¡'distressed¡¡relict'£¿¡¨¡¡asked¡¡Felix¡£

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We¡¡all¡¡stared¡¡at¡¡Peg£»¡¡who¡¡was¡¡pacing¡¡composedly¡¡up¡¡the¡¡aisle¡£¡¡¡¡We¡¡might¡¡be¡¡excused¡¡for¡¡so¡¡doing£»¡¡for¡¡seldom¡¡were¡¡the¡¡decorous¡¡aisles¡¡of¡¡Carlisle¡¡church¡¡invaded¡¡by¡¡such¡¡a¡¡figure¡£¡¡¡¡Peg¡¡was¡¡dressed¡¡in¡¡her¡¡usual¡¡short¡¡drugget¡¡skirt£»¡¡rather¡¡worn¡¡and¡¡frayed¡¡around¡¡the¡¡bottom£»¡¡and¡¡a¡¡waist¡¡of¡¡brilliant¡¡turkey¡¡red¡¡calico¡£¡¡¡¡She¡¡wore¡¡no¡¡hat£»¡¡and¡¡her¡¡grizzled¡¡black¡¡hair¡¡streamed¡¡in¡¡elf¡¡locks¡¡over¡¡her¡¡shoulders¡£¡¡¡¡Face£»¡¡arms¡¡and¡¡feet¡¡were¡¡bareand¡¡face£»¡¡arms¡¡and¡¡feet¡¡were¡¡liberally¡¡powdered¡¡with¡¡FLOUR¡£¡¡¡¡Certainly¡¡no¡¡one¡¡who¡¡saw¡¡Peg¡¡that¡¡night¡¡could¡¡ever¡¡forget¡¡the¡¡apparition¡£

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Peg¡¡chuckled¡¡quite¡¡fiendishly¡¡and¡¡Stephen¡¡Grant¡¡tried¡¡to¡¡look¡¡as¡¡if¡¡nothing¡¡had¡¡been¡¡said¡£

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To¡¡our¡¡horror¡¡Peg¡¡produced¡¡a¡¡handful¡¡of¡¡peppermint¡¡lozenges¡¡from¡¡the¡¡pocket¡¡of¡¡her¡¡skirt¡¡and¡¡offered¡¡us¡¡one¡¡each¡£¡¡¡¡We¡¡did¡¡not¡¡dare¡¡refuse¡¡but¡¡we¡¡each¡¡held¡¡our¡¡lozenge¡¡very¡¡gingerly¡¡in¡¡our¡¡hands¡£

¡¨Eat¡¡them£»¡¨¡¡commanded¡¡Peg¡¡rather¡¡fiercely¡£

¡¨Mother¡¡doesn't¡¡allow¡¡us¡¡to¡¡eat¡¡candy¡¡in¡¡church£»¡¨¡¡faltered¡¡Felicity¡£

¡¨Well£»¡¡I've¡¡seen¡¡just¡¡as¡¡fine¡¡ladies¡¡as¡¡your¡¡ma¡¡give¡¡their¡¡children¡¡lozenges¡¡in¡¡church£»¡¨¡¡said¡¡Peg¡¡loftily¡£¡¡¡¡She¡¡put¡¡a¡¡peppermint¡¡in¡¡her¡¡own¡¡mouth¡¡and¡¡sucked¡¡it¡¡with¡¡gusto¡£¡¡¡¡We¡¡were¡¡relieved£»¡¡for¡¡she¡¡did¡¡not¡¡talk¡¡during¡¡the¡¡process£»¡¡but¡¡our¡¡relief¡¡was¡¡of¡¡short¡¡duration¡£¡¡¡¡A¡¡bevy¡¡of¡¡three¡¡very¡¡smartly¡¡dressed¡¡young¡¡ladies£»¡¡sweeping¡¡past¡¡our¡¡pew£»¡¡started¡¡Peg¡¡off¡¡again¡£

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It¡¡was¡¡a¡¡relief¡¡to¡¡hear¡¡Peg¡¡speak¡¡well¡¡of¡¡somebody£»¡¡but¡¡that¡¡was¡¡the¡¡only¡¡exception¡¡she¡¡made¡£

¡¨Look¡¡at¡¡Dave¡¡Fraser¡¡strutting¡¡in£»¡¨¡¡she¡¡went¡¡on¡£¡¡¡¡¡¨That¡¡man¡¡has¡¡thanked¡¡God¡¡so¡¡often¡¡that¡¡he¡¡isn't¡¡like¡¡other¡¡people¡¡that¡¡it's¡¡come¡¡to¡¡be¡¡true¡£¡¡¡¡He¡¡isn't£¡¡¡¡¡And¡¡there's¡¡Susan¡¡Frewen¡£¡¡¡¡She's¡¡jealous¡¡of¡¡everybody¡£¡¡¡¡She's¡¡even¡¡jealous¡¡of¡¡Old¡¡Man¡¡Rogers¡¡because¡¡he's¡¡buried¡¡in¡¡the¡¡best¡¡spot¡¡in¡¡the¡¡graveyard¡£¡¡¡¡Seth¡¡Erskine¡¡has¡¡the¡¡same¡¡look¡¡he¡¡was¡¡born¡¡with¡£¡¡¡¡They¡¡say¡¡the¡¡Lord¡¡made¡¡everybody¡¡but¡¡I¡¡believe¡¡the¡¡devil¡¡made¡¡all¡¡the¡¡Erskines¡£¡¨

¡¨She's¡¡getting¡¡worse¡¡all¡¡the¡¡time¡£¡¡¡¡What¡¡WILL¡¡she¡¡say¡¡next£¿¡¨¡¡whispered¡¡poor¡¡Felicity¡£

But¡¡her¡¡martyrdom¡¡was¡¡over¡¡at¡¡last¡£¡¡¡¡The¡¡minister¡¡appeared¡¡in¡¡the¡¡pulpit¡¡and¡¡Peg¡¡subsided¡¡into¡¡silence¡£¡¡¡¡She¡¡folded¡¡her¡¡bare£»¡¡floury¡¡arms¡¡over¡¡her¡¡breast¡¡and¡¡fastened¡¡her¡¡black¡¡eyes¡¡on¡¡the¡¡young¡¡preacher¡£¡¡¡¡Her¡¡behaviour¡¡for¡¡the¡¡next¡¡half¡­hour¡¡was¡¡decorum¡¡itself£»¡¡save¡¡that¡¡when¡¡the¡¡minister¡¡prayed¡¡that¡¡we¡¡might¡¡all¡¡be¡¡charitable¡¡in¡¡judgment¡¡Peg¡¡ejaculated¡¡¡¨Amen¡¨¡¡several¡¡times£»¡¡loudly¡¡and¡¡forcibly£»¡¡somewhat¡¡to¡¡the¡¡discomfiture¡¡of¡¡the¡¡Young¡¡man£»¡¡to¡¡whom¡¡Peg¡¡was¡¡a¡¡stranger¡£¡¡¡¡He¡¡opened¡¡his¡¡eyes£»¡¡glanced¡¡at¡¡our¡¡pew¡¡in¡¡a¡¡startled¡¡way£»¡¡then¡¡collected¡¡himself¡¡and¡¡went¡¡on¡£

Peg¡¡listened¡¡to¡¡the¡¡sermon£»¡¡silently¡¡and¡¡motionlessly£»¡¡until¡¡Mr¡£¡¡Davidson¡¡was¡¡half¡¡through¡£¡¡¡¡Then¡¡she¡¡suddenly¡¡got¡¡on¡¡her¡¡feet¡£

¡¨This¡¡is¡¡too¡¡dull¡¡for¡¡me£»¡¨¡¡she¡¡exclaimed¡£¡¡¡¡¡¨I¡¡want¡¡something¡¡more¡¡exciting¡£¡¨

Mr¡£¡¡Davidson¡¡stopped¡¡short¡¡and¡¡Peg¡¡marched¡¡down¡¡the¡¡aisle¡¡in¡¡the¡¡midst¡¡of¡¡complete¡¡silence¡£¡¡¡¡Half¡¡way¡¡down¡¡the¡¡aisle¡¡she¡¡turned¡¡around¡¡and¡¡faced¡¡the¡¡minister¡£

¡¨There¡¡are¡¡so¡¡many¡¡hypocrites¡¡in¡¡this¡¡church¡¡that¡¡it¡¡isn't¡¡fit¡¡for¡¡decent¡¡people¡¡to¡¡come¡¡to£»¡¨¡¡she¡¡said¡£¡¡¡¡¡¨Rather¡¡than¡¡be¡¡such¡¡hypocrites¡¡as¡¡most¡¡of¡¡you¡¡are¡¡it¡¡would¡¡be¡¡better¡¡for¡¡you¡¡to¡¡go¡¡miles¡¡into¡¡the¡¡woods¡¡and¡¡commit¡¡suicide¡£¡¨

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