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uneasiness; and my nights were restless and sleepless。  The story

of our amour was now pretty public; and the ladies talked of our

match as certain; but my acquaintance denied their assent;

saying; 'No; no; he is too wise to marry so imprudently。'  This

their opinion gave me; I own; very great pleasure; but; to say

the truth; scarce compensated the pangs I suffered to preserve

it。



〃One day; while I was balancing with myself; and had almost

resolved to enjoy my happiness at the price of my character; a

friend brought me word that Ariadne was married。  This news

struck me to the soul; and though I had resolution enough to

maintain my gravity before him (for which I suffered not a little

the more); the moment I was alone I threw myself into the most

violent fit of despair; and would willingly have parted with

wisdom; fortune; and everything else; to have retrieved her; but

that was impossible; and I had now nothing but time to hope a

cure from。  This was very tedious in performing it; and the

longer as Ariadne had married a Roman cavalier; was now become my

near neighbor; and I had the mortification of seeing her make the

best of wives; and of having the happiness which I had lost;

every day before my eyes。



〃If I suffered so much on account of my wisdom in having refused

Ariadne; I was not much more obliged to it for procuring me a

rich widow; who was recommended to me by an old friend as a very

prudent match; and; indeed; so it was; her fortune being superior

to mine in the same proportion as that of Ariadne had been

inferior。  I therefore embraced this proposal; and my character

of wisdom soon pleaded so effectually for me with the widow; who

was herself a woman of great gravity and discretion; that I soon

succeeded; and as soon as decency would permit (of which this

lady was the strictest observer) we were married; being the

second day of the second week of the second year after her

husband's death; for she said she thought some period of time

above the year had a great air of decorum。



〃But; prudent as this lady was; she made me miserable。  Her

person was far from being lovely; but her temper was intolerable。



During fifteen years' habitation; I never passed a single day

without heartily cursing her; and the hour in which we came

together。  The only comfort I received; in the midst of the

highest torments; was from continually hearing the prudence of my

match commended by all my acquaintance。



〃Thus you see; in the affairs of love; I bought the reputation of

wisdom pretty dear。  In other matters I had it somewhat cheaper;

not that hypocrisy; which was the price I gave for it; gives one

no pain。  I have refused myself a thousand little amusements with

a feigned contempt; while I have really had an inclination to

them。  I have often almost choked myself to restrain from

laughing at a jest; and (which was perhaps to myself the least

hurtful of all my hypocrisy) have heartily enjoyed a book in my

closet which I have spoken with detestation of in public。  To sum

up my history in short; as I had few adventures worth

remembering; my whole life was one constant lie; and happy would

it have been for me if I could as thoroughly have imposed on

myself as I did on others:  for reflection; at every turn; would

often remind me I was not so wise as people thought me; and this

considerably embittered the pleasure I received from the public

commendation of my wisdom。  This self…admonition; like a memento

mori or mortalis es; must be; in my opinion; a very dangerous

enemy to flattery:  indeed; a weight sufficient to counterbalance

all the false praise of the world。  But whether it be that the

generality of wise men do not reflect at all; or whether they

have; from a constant imposition on others; contracted such a

habit of deceit as to deceive themselves; I will not determine:

it is; I believe; most certain that very few wise men know

themselves what fools they are; more than the world doth。  Good

gods! could one but see what passes in the closet of wisdom! how

ridiculous a sight must it be to behold the wise man; who

despises gratifying his palate; devouring custard; the sober wise

man with his dram…bottle; or; the anti…carnalist (if I may be

allowed the expression) chuckling over a bdy book or picture;

and perhaps caressing his house…maid!



〃But to conclude a character in which I apprehend I made as

absurd a figure as in any in which I trod the stage of earth; my

wisdom at last but an end to itself; that is; occasioned my

dissolution。  



〃A relation of mine in the eastern part of the empire

disinherited his son; and left me his heir。  This happened in the

depth of winter; when I was in my grand climacteric; and had just

recovered of a dangerous disease。  As I had all the reason

imaginable to apprehend the family of the deceased would conspire

against me; and embezzle as much as they could; I advised with a

grave and wise friend what was proper to be done; whether I

should go myself; or employ a notary on this occasion; and defer

my journey to the spring。  To say the truth; I was most inclined

to the latter; the rather as my circumstances were extremely

flourishing; as I was advanced in years; and had not one person

in the world to whom I should with pleasure bequeath any fortune

at my death。





〃My friend told me he thought my question admitted of no manner

of doubt or debate; that common prudence absolutely required my

immediate departure; adding; that if the same good luck had

happened to him he would have been already on his journey; 'for;'

continued he; 'a man who knows the world so well as you; would be

inexcusable to give persons such an opportunity of cheating you;

who; you must be assured; will be too well inclined; and as for

employing a notary; remember that excellent maxim; Ne facias per

alium; quod fieri potest per te。  I own the badness of the season

and your very late recovery are unlucky circumstances; but a wise

man must get over difficulties when necessity obliges him to

encounter them。' 



〃I was immediately determined by this opinion。  The duty of a

wise man made an irresistible impression; and I took the

necessity for granted without examination。  I accordingly set

forward the next morning; very tempestuous weather soon overtook

me; I had not traveled three days before I relapsed into my

fever; and died。



〃I was now as cruelly disappointed by Minos as I had formerly

been happily so。  I advanced with the utmost confidence to the

gate; and really imagined I should have been admitted by the

wisdom of my countenance; even without any questions asked:  but

this was not my case; and; to my great surprise; Minos; with a

menacing voice; called out to me; 'You Mr。 there; with the grave

countenance; whither so fast; pray?  Will you please; before you

move any farther forwards; to give me a short account of your

transactions below?'  I then began; and recounted to him my whole

history; still expecting at the end of every period that the gate

would be ordered to fly open; but I was obliged to go quite

through with it; and then Minos after some little consideration

spoke to me as follows:



〃 'You; Mr。 Wiseman; stand forth if you please。  Believe me; sir;

a trip back again to earth will be one of the wisest steps you

ever took; and really more to the honor of your wisdom than any

you have hitherto taken。  On the other side; nothing could be

simpler than to endeavor at Elysium; for who but a fool would

carry a commodity; which is of such infinite value in one place;

into another where it is of none?  But; without attempting to

offend your gravity with a jest; you must return to the place

from whence you came; for Elysium was never designed for those

who are too wise to be happy。'



〃This sentence confounded me greatly; especially as it seemed to

threaten me with carrying my wisdom back again to earth。  I told

the judge; though he would not admit me at the gate; I hoped I

had committed no crime while alive which merited my being wise

any longer。  He answered me; I must take my chance as to that

matter; and immediately we turned our backs to each other。〃





CHAPTER XVII



Julian enters into the person of a king。



〃I was now born at Oviedo in Spain。  My father's name was

Veremond; and I was adopted by my uncle king Alphonso the chaste。



I don't recollect in all the pilgrimages I have made on earth

that I ever passed a more miserable infancy than now; being under

the utmost confinement and restraint; and surrounded with

physicians who were ever dosing me; and tutors who were

continually plaguing me with their instructions; even those hours

of leisure which my inclination would have spent in play were

allotted to tedious pomp and ceremony; which; at an age wherein I

had no ambition to enjoy the servility of courtiers; enslaved me

more than it could the meanest of them。  However; as I advanced

towards manhood; my condition made me some amends; for the most

beautiful women of their own accord threw out lures for me; and I

had the happiness; which no man in an inferior degree can arrive

at; of enjoying the most delicious creatures; without the

previous and tiresome ceremonies of courtship; unless with the

most simple; young and unexperienced。  As for the court ladies;

they regarded me rather as men do the most lovely of the other

sex; and; though they outwardly retained some appearance of

modesty; they in reality rather considered themselves as

receiving than conferring favors。



〃Another happiness I enjoyed was in conferring favors of another

sort; for; as I was extremely good…natured and generous; so I had

daily opportunities of satisfying those passions。  Besides my own

princely allowance; which was very bountiful; and with which I

did many liberal and good actions; I recommended numberless

persons of merit in distress to t

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