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from this world to the next-第22部分

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service; and how much I had suffered in his cause。  I found by my

first reception he had already heard of my success。  Instead of

thanking me for my speech; he said the city should repent of

their obstinacy; for that he would show them who he was:  and so

saying; he immediately turned that part to me to which the toe of

man hath so wonderful an affection; that it is very difficult;

whenever it presents itself conveniently; to keep our toes from

the most violent and ardent salutation of it。



〃I was a little nettled at this behavior; and with some

earnestness claimed the king's fulfilling his promise; but he

retired without answering me。  I then applied to some of the

courtiers; who had lately professed great friendship to me; had

eat at my house; and invited me to theirs:  but not one would

return me any answer; all running away from me as if I had been

seized with some contagious distemper。  I now found by

experience; that as none can be so civil; so none can be ruder

than a courtier。



〃A few moments after the king's retiring I was left alone in the

room to consider what I should do or whither I should turn

myself。  My reception in the city promised itself to be equal at

least with what I found at court。  However; there was my home;

and thither it was necessary I should retreat for the present。



〃But; indeed; bad as I apprehended my treatment in the city would

be; it exceeded my expectation。  I rode home on an ambling pad

through crowds who expressed every kind of disregard and

contempt; pelting me not only with the most abusive language; but

with dirt。  However; with much difficulty I arrived at last at my

own house; with my bones whole; but covered over with filth。



〃When I was got within my doors; and had shut them against the

mob; who had pretty well vented their spleen; and seemed now

contented to retire; my wife; whom I found crying over her

children; and from whom I had hoped some comfort in my

afflictions; fell upon me in the most outrageous manner。  She

asked me why I would venture on such a step; without consulting

her; she said her advice might have been civilly asked; if I was

resolved not to have been guided by it。  That; whatever opinion I

might have conceived of her understanding; the rest of the world

thought better of it。  That I had never failed when I had asked

her counsel; nor ever succeeded without it;with much more of

the same kind; too tedious to mention; concluding that it was a

monstrous behavior to desert my party and come over to the court。



An abuse which I took worse than all the rest; as she had been

constantly for several years assiduous in railing at the

opposition; in siding with the court…party; and begging me to

come over to it; and especially after my mentioning the offer of

knighthood to her; since which time she had continually

interrupted my repose with dinning in my ears the folly of

refusing honors and of adhering to a party and to principles by

which I was certain of procuring no advantage to myself and my

family。



〃I had now entirely lost my trade; so that I had not the least

temptation to stay longer in a city where I was certain of

receiving daily affronts and rebukes。  I therefore made up my

affairs with the utmost expedition; and; scraping together all I

could; retired into the country; where I spent the remainder of

my days in universal contempt; being shunned by everybody;

perpetually abused by my wife; and not much respected by my

children。



〃Minos told me; though I had been a very vile fellow; he thought

my sufferings made some atonement; and so bid me take the other

trial。〃





CHAPTER XXIV



Julian recounts what happened to him while he was a poet。



〃Rome was now the seat of my nativity; where I was born of a

family more remarkable for honor than riches。  I was intended for

the church; and had a pretty good education; but my father dying

while I was young; and leaving me nothing; for he had wasted his

whole patrimony; I was forced to enter myself in the order of

mendicants。



〃When I was at school I had a knack of rhyming; which I unhappily

mistook for genius; and indulged to my cost; for my verses drew

on me only ridicule; and I was in contempt called the poet。 



〃This humor pursued me through my life。  My first composition

after I left school was a panegyric on pope Alexander IV; who

then pretended a project of dethroning the king of Sicily。  On

this subject I composed a poem of about fifteen thousand lines;

which with much difficulty I got to be presented to his holiness;

of whom I expected great preferment as my reward; but I was

cruelly disappointed:  for when I had waited a year; without

hearing any of the commendations I had flattered myself with

receiving; and being now able to contain no longer; I applied to

a Jesuit who was my relation; and had the pope's ear; to know

what his holiness's opinion was of my work:  he coldly answered

me that he was at that time busied in concerns of too much

importance to attend the reading of poems。



〃However dissatisfied I might be; and really was; with this

reception; and however angry I was with the pope? for whose

understanding I entertained an immoderate contempt; I was not yet

discouraged from a second attempt。  Accordingly; I soon after

produced another work; entitled; The Trojan Horse。  This was an

allegorical work; in which the church was introduced into the

world in the same manner as that machine had been into Troy。  The

priests were the soldiers in its belly; and the heathen

superstition the city to be destroyed by them。  This poem was

written in Latin。  I remember some of the lines:

 Mundanos scandit fatalis machina muros;

 Farta sacerdotum turmis:  exinde per alvum

 Visi exire omnes; maguo cum murmure olentes。

 Non aliter quam cum llumanis furibundus ab antris

 It sonus et nares simul aura invadit hiantes。

 Mille scatent et mille alii; trepidare timore

 Ethnica gens coepit:  falsi per inane volantes

 Effugere DeiDesertaque templa relinquunt。

 Jam magnum crepitavit equus; mox orbis et alti

 Ingemuere poli:  tunc tu pater; ultimus omnium

 Maxime Alexander; ventrem maturus equinum

 Deseris; heu proles meliori digne parente。〃



I believe Julian; had I not stopped him; would have gone through

the whole poem (for; as I observed in most of the characters he

related; the affections he had enjoyed while he personated them

on earth still made some impression on him); but I begged him to

omit the sequel of the poem; and proceed with his history。  He

then recollected himself; and; smiling at the observation which

by intuition he perceived I had made; continued his narration as

follows:



〃I confess to you;〃 says he; 〃that the delight in repeating our

own works is so predominant in a poet; that I find nothing can

totally root it out of the soul。  Happy would it be for those

persons if their hearers could be delighted in the same manner:

but alas! hence that ingens solitudo complained of by Horace: 

for the vanity of mankind is so much greedier and more general

than their avarice; that no beggar is so ill received by them as

he who solicits their praise。



〃This I sufficiently experienced in the character of a poet; for

my company was shunned (I believe on this account chiefly) by my

whole house:  nay; there were few who would submit to hearing me

read my poetry; even at the price of sharing in my provisions。 

The only person who gave me audience was a brother poet; he

indeed fed me with commendation very liberally:  but; as I was

forced to hear and commend in my turn; I perhaps bought his

attention dear enough。  



〃Well; sir; if my expectations of the reward I hoped from my

first poem had balked me; I had now still greater reason to

complain; for; instead of being preferred or commended for the

second; I was enjoined a very severe penance by my superior; for

ludicrously comparing the pope to a ft。  My poetry was now the

jest of every company; except some few who spoke of it with

detestation; and I found that; instead of recommending me to

preferment; it had effectually barred me from  all probability of

attaining it。  



〃These discouragements had now  induced me to lay down my pen and

write no more。  But; as Juvenal says;

    Si discedas; Laqueo tenet ambitiosi

    Consuetudo mali。



I was an example of the truth of this assertion; for I soon

betook myself again to my muse。  Indeed; a poet hath the same

happiness with a man who is dotingly fond of an ugly woman。  The

one enjoys his muse; and the other his mistress; with a pleasure

very little abated by the esteem of the world; and only

undervalues their taste for not corresponding with his own。



〃It is unnecessary to mention any more of my poems; they had all

the same fate; and though in reality some of my latter pieces

deserved (I may now speak it without the imputation of vanity) a

better success; as I had the character of a bad writer; I found

it impossible ever to obtain the reputation of a good one。  Had I

possessed the merit of Homer I could have hoped for no applause;

since it must have been a profound secret; for no one would now

read a syllable of my writings。  



〃The poets of my age were; as I believe you know; not very

famous。  However; there was one of some credit at that time;

though I have the consolation to know his works are all perished

long ago。  The malice; envy; and hatred I bore this man are

inconceivable to any but an author; and an unsuccessful one; I

never could bear to hear him well spoken of; and writ anonymous

satires against him; though I had received obligations from him;

indeed I believe it would have been an absolute impossibility for

him at any rate to have made me sincerely his friend。



〃I have heard an observation which was made by some one of later

days; that there are no worse men than bad authors。  A remar

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