confidence-第29部分
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〃We were obliged to go to Fontainebleau。 We have but just come back。 I thought of writing to you;〃 she softly added。
〃Ah; what pleasure that would have given me!〃
〃I mean; to tell you where we were; and that we should have been so happy to see you。〃
〃I thank you for the intention。 I suppose your daughter would n't let you carry it out。〃
〃Angela is so peculiar;〃 Mrs。 Vivian said; simply。
〃You told me that the first time I saw you。〃
〃Yes; at Siena;〃 said Mrs。 Vivian。
〃I am glad to hear you speak frankly of that place!〃
〃Perhaps it 's better;〃 Mrs。 Vivian murmured。 She got up and went to the window; then stepping upon the balcony; she looked down a moment into the street。 〃She will come back in a moment;〃 she said; coming into the room again。 〃She has gone to see a friend who lives just beside us。 We don't mind about Siena now;〃 she added; softly。
Bernard understood herunderstood this to be a retraction of the request she had made of him at Baden。
〃Dear little woman;〃 he said to himself; 〃she wants to marry her daughter stillonly now she wants to marry her to me!〃
He wished to show her that he understood her; and he was on the point of seizing her hand; to do he did n't know what to hold it; to press it; to kiss itwhen he heard the sharp twang of the bell at the door of the little apartment。
Mrs。 Vivian fluttered away。
〃It 's Angela;〃 she cried; and she stood there waiting and listening; smiling at Bernard; with her handkerchief pressed to her lips。
In a moment the girl came into the drawing…room; but on seeing Bernard she stopped; with her hand on the door…knob。 Her mother went to her and kissed her。
〃It 's Mr。 Longueville; dearesthe has found us out。〃
〃Found us out?〃 repeated Angela; with a little laugh。 〃What a singular expression!〃
She was blushing as she had blushed when she first saw him at Blanquais。 She seemed to Bernard now to have a great and peculiar brightness something she had never had before。
〃I certainly have been looking for you;〃 he said。 〃I was greatly disappointed when I found you had taken flight from Blanquais。〃
〃Taken flight?〃 She repeated his words as she had repeated her mother's。 〃That is also a strange way of speaking!〃
〃I don't care what I say;〃 said Bernard; 〃so long as I make you understand that I have wanted very much to see you again; and that I have wondered every day whether I might venture〃
〃I don't know why you should n't venture!〃 she interrupted; giving her little laugh again。 〃We are not so terrible; are we; mamma?that is; when once you have climbed our five flights of stairs。〃
〃I came up very fast;〃 said Bernard; 〃and I find your apartment magnificent。〃
〃Mr。 Longueville must come again; must he not; dear?〃 asked mamma。
〃I shall come very often; with your leave;〃 Bernard declared。
〃It will be immensely kind;〃 said Angela; looking away。
〃I am not sure that you will think it that。〃
〃I don't know what you are trying to prove;〃 said Angela; 〃first that we ran away from you; and then that we are not nice to our visitors。〃
〃Oh no; not that!〃 Bernard exclaimed; 〃for I assure you I shall not care how cold you are with me。〃
She walked away toward another door; which was masked with a curtain that she lifted。
〃I am glad to hear that; for it gives me courage to say that I am very tired; and that I beg you will excuse me。〃
She glanced at him a moment over her shoulder; then she passed out; dropping the curtain。
Bernard stood there face to face with Mrs。 Vivian; whose eyes seemed to plead with him more than ever。 In his own there was an excited smile。
〃Please don't mind that;〃 she murmured。 〃I know it 's true that she is tired。〃
〃Mind it; dear lady?〃 cried the young man。 〃I delight in it。 It 's just what I like。〃
〃Ah; she 's very peculiar!〃 sighed Mrs。 Vivian。
〃She is strangeyes。 But I think I understand her a little。〃
〃You must come back to…morrow; then。〃
〃I hope to have many to…morrows!〃 cried Bernard as he took his departure。
CHAPTER XXIII
And he had them in fact。 He called the next day at the same hour; and he found the mother and the daughter together in their pretty salon。 Angela was very gentle and gracious; he suspected Mrs。 Vivian had given her a tender little lecture upon the manner in which she had received him the day before。 After he had been there five minutes; Mrs。 Vivian took a decanter of water that was standing upon a table and went out on the balcony to irrigate her flowers。 Bernard watched her a while from his place in the room; then she moved along the balcony and out of sight。 Some ten minutes elapsed without her re…appearing; and then Bernard stepped to the threshold of the window and looked for her。 She was not there; and as he came and took his seat near Angela again; he announced; rather formally; that Mrs。 Vivian had passed back into one of the other windows。
Angela was silent a momentthen she said
〃Should you like me to call her?〃
She was very peculiarthat was very true; yet Bernard held to his declaration of the day before that he now understood her a little。
〃No; I don't desire it;〃 he said。 〃I wish to see you alone; I have something particular to say to you。〃
She turned her face toward him; and there was something in its expression that showed him that he looked to her more serious than he had ever looked。 He sat down again; for some moments he hesitated to go on。
〃You frighten me;〃 she said laughing; and in spite of her laugh this was obviously true。
〃I assure you my state of mind is anything but formidable。 I am afraid of you; on the contrary; I am humble and apologetic。〃
〃I am sorry for that;〃 said Angela。 〃I particularly dislike receiving apologies; even when I know what they are for。 What yours are for; I can't imagine。〃
〃You don't dislike meyou don't hate me?〃 Bernard suddenly broke out。
〃You don't ask me that humbly。 Excuse me therefore if I say I have other; and more practical; things to do。〃
〃You despise me;〃 said Bernard。
〃That is not humble either; for you seem to insist upon it。〃
〃It would be after all a way of thinking of me; and I have a reason for wishing you to do that。〃
〃I remember very well that you used to have a reason for everything。 It was not always a good one。〃
〃This one is excellent;〃 said Bernard; gravely。 〃I have been in love with you for three years。〃
She got up slowly; turning away。
〃Is that what you wished to say to me?〃
She went toward the open window; and he followed her。
〃I hope it does n't offend you。 I don't say it lightly it 's not a piece of gallantry。 It 's the very truth of my being。 I did n't know it till latelystrange as that may seem。 I loved you long before I knew itbefore I ventured or presumed to know it。 I was thinking of you when I seemed to myself to be thinking of other things。 It is very strangethere are things in it I don't understand。 I travelled over the world; I tried to interest; to divert myself; but at bottom it was a perfect failure。 To see you againthat was what I wanted。 When I saw you last month at Blanquais I knew it; then everything became clear。 It was the answer to the riddle。 I wished to read it very clearlyI wished to be sure; therefore I did n't follow you immediately。 I questioned my heart I cross…questioned it。 It has borne the examination; and now I am sure。 I am very sure。 I love you as my lifeI beg you to listen to me!〃
She had listenedshe had listened intently; looking straight out of the window and without moving。
〃You have seen very little of me;〃 she said; presently; turning her illuminated eye on him。
〃I have seen enough;〃 Bernard added; smiling。 〃You must remember that at Baden I saw a good deal of you。〃
〃Yes; but that did n't make you like me。 I don't understand。〃
Bernard stood there a moment; frowning; with his eyes lowered。
〃I can imagine that。 But I think I can explain。〃
〃Don't explain now;〃 said Angela。 〃You have said enough; explain some other time。〃 And she went out on the balcony。
Bernard; of course; in a moment was beside her; and; disregarding her injunction; he began to explain。
〃I thought I disliked youbut I have come to the conclusion it was just the contrary。 In reality I was in love with you。 I had been so from the first time I saw youwhen I made that sketch of you at Siena。〃
〃That in itself needs an explanation。 I was not at all nice then I was very rude; very perverse。 I was horrid!〃
〃Ah; you admit it!〃 cried Bernard; with a sort of quick elation。
She had been pale; but she suddenly blushed。
〃Your own conduct was singular; as I remember it。 It was not exactly agreeable。〃
〃Perhaps not; but at least it was meant to be。 I did n't know how to please you then; and I am far from supposing that I have learned now。 But I entreat you to give me a chance。〃
She was silent a while; her eyes wandered over the great prospect of Paris。
〃Do you know how you can please me now?〃 she said; at last。 〃By leaving me alone。〃
Bernard looked at her a moment; then came straight back into the drawing…room and took his hat。
〃You see I avail myself of the first chance。 But I shall come back to…morrow。〃
〃I am greatly obliged to you for what you have said。 Such a speech as that deserves to be listened to with consideration。 You may come back to…morrow;〃 Angela added。
On the morrow; when he came back; she received him alone。
〃How did you know; at Baden; that I did n't like you?〃 he asked; as soon as she would allow him。
She smiled; very gently。
〃You assured me yesterday that you did like me。〃
〃I mean that I supposed I did n't。 How did you know that?〃
〃I can only say that I observed。〃
〃You must have observed very closely; for; superficially; I rather had the air of admiring you;〃 said Bernard。
〃It was very superficial。〃
〃You don't mean that; for; after all; that is just what my admiration; my interest in you; were not。 They were deep; they were latent。 They were not superficialthey were subterranean。〃
〃You are contradicting yourself; and I am perfectly consistent;〃 said Angela。 〃Your sentiments were so well hidden that I supposed I displeased you。〃
〃I remember that at Baden; you used to contradict yourself;〃 B