a personal record-第6部分

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you　as　it　stands？〃







He　raised　his　dark；　gentle　eyes　to　my　face　and　seemed　surprised。







〃Yes！　　Perfectly。〃







This　was　all　I　was　to　hear　from　his　lips　concerning　the　merits　of



〃Almayer's　Folly。〃　　We　never　spoke　together　of　the　book　again。　　A



long　period　of　bad　weather　set　in　and　I　had　no　thoughts　left　but



for　my　duties；　while　poor　Jacques　caught　a　fatal　cold　and　had　to



keep　close　in　his　cabin。　　When　we　arrived　in　Adelaide　the　first



reader　of　my　prose　went　at　once　up…country；　and　died　rather



suddenly　in　the　end；　either　in　Australia　or　it　may　be　on　the



passage　while　going　home　through　the　Suez　Canal。　　I　am　not　sure



which　it　was　now；　and　I　do　not　think　I　ever　heard　precisely；



though　I　made　inquiries　about　him　from　some　of　our　return



passengers　who；　wandering　about　to　〃see　the　country〃　during　the



ship's　stay　in　port；　had　come　upon　him　here　and　there。　　At　last



we　sailed；　homeward　bound；　and　still　not　one　line　was　added　to



the　careless　scrawl　of　the　many　pages　which　poor　Jacques　had　had



the　patience　to　read　with　the　very　shadows　of　Eternity　gathering



already　in　the　hollows　of　his　kind；　steadfast　eyes。







The　purpose　instilled　into　me　by　his　simple　and　final



〃Distinctly〃　remained　dormant；　yet　alive　to　await　its



opportunity。　　I　dare　say　I　am　compelledunconsciously



compellednow　to　write　volume　after　volume；　as　in　past　years　I



was　compelled　to　go　to　sea　voyage　after　voyage。　　Leaves　must



follow　upon　one　an　other　as　leagues　used　to　follow　in　the　days



gone　by；　on　and　on　to　the　appointed　end；　which；　being　Truth



itself；　is　Oneone　for　all　men　and　for　all　occupations。







I　do　not　know　which　of　the　two　impulses　has　appeared　more



mysterious　and　more　wonderful　to　me。　　Still；　in　writing；　as　in



going　to　sea；　I　had　to　wait　my　opportunity。　　Let　me　confess　here



that　I　was　never　one　of　those　wonderful　fellows　that　would　go



afloat　in　a　wash…tub　for　the　sake　of　the　fun；　and　if　I　may　pride



myself　upon　my　consistency；　it　was　ever　just　the　same　with　my



writing。　　Some　men；　I　have　heard；　write　in　railway　carriages；　and



could　do　it；　perhaps；　sitting　crossed…legged　on　a　clothes…line；



but　I　must　confess　that　my　sybaritic　disposition　will　not　consent



to　write　without　something　at　least　resembling　a　chair。　　Line　by



line；　rather　than　page　by　page；　was　the　growth　of　〃Almayer's



Folly。〃







And　so　it　happened　that　I　very　nearly　lost　the　MS。；　advanced　now



to　the　first　words　of　the　ninth　chapter；　in　the　Friedrichstrasse　



Poland；　or　more　precisely　to　Ukraine。　　On　an　early；　sleepy



morning　changing　trains　in　a　hurry　I　left　my　Gladstone　bag　in　a



refreshment…room。　　A　worthy　and　intelligent　Koffertrager　rescued



it。　　Yet　in　my　anxiety　I　was　not　thinking　of　the　MS。；　but　of　all



the　other　things　that　were　packed　in　the　bag。







In　Warsaw；　where　I　spent　two　days；　those　wandering　pages　were



never　exposed　to　the　light；　except　once　to　candle…light；　while



the　bag　lay　open　on　the　chair。　　I　was　dressing　hurriedly　to　dine



at　a　sporting　club。　　A　friend　of　my　childhood　（he　had　been　in　the



Diplomatic　Service；　but　had　turned　to　growing　wheat　on　paternal



acres；　and　we　had　not　seen　each　other　for　over　twenty　years）　was



sitting　on　the　hotel　sofa　waiting　to　carry　me　off　there。







〃You　might　tell　me　something　of　your　life　while　you　are



dressing；〃　he　suggested；　kindly。







I　do　not　think　I　told　him　much　of　my　life　story　either　then　or



later。　　The　talk　of　the　select　little　party　with　which　he　made　me



dine　was　extremely　animated　and　embraced　most　subjects　under



heaven；　from　big…game　shooting　in　Africa　to　the　last　poem



published　in　a　very　modernist　review；　edited　by　the　very　young



and　patronized　by　the　highest　society。　　But　it　never　touched　upon



〃Almayer's　Folly；〃　and　next　morning；　in　uninterrupted　obscurity；



this　inseparable　companion　went　on　rolling　with　me　in　the



southeast　direction　toward　the　government　of　Kiev。







At　that　time　there　was　an　eight　hours'　drive；　if　not　more；　from



the　railway　station　to　the　country…house　which　was　my



destination。







〃Dear　boy〃　（these　words　were　always　written　in　English）；　so　ran



the　last　letter　from　that　house　received　in　London〃Get　yourself



driven　to　the　only　inn　in　the　place；　dine　as　well　as　you　can；　and



some　time　in　the　evening　my　own　confidential　servant；　factotum



and　majordomo；　a　Mr。　V。　S。　（I　warn　you　he　is　of　noble



extraction）；　will　present　himself　before　you；　reporting　the



arrival　of　the　small　sledge　which　will　take　you　here　on　the　next



day。　　I　send　with　him　my　heaviest　fur；　which　I　suppose　with　such



overcoats　as　you　may　have　with　you　will　keep　you　from　freezing　on



the　road。〃







Sure　enough；　as　I　was　dining；　served　by　a　Hebrew　waiter；　in　an



enormous　barn…like　bedroom　with　a　freshly　painted　floor；　the　door



opened　and；　in　a　travelling　costume　of　long　boots；　big　sheepskin



cap；　and　a　short　coat　girt　with　a　leather　belt；　the　Mr。　V。　S。　（of



noble　extraction）；　a　man　of　about　thirty…five；　appeared　with　an



air　of　perplexity　on　his　open　and　mustached　countenance。　　I　got



up　from　the　table　and　greeted　him　in　Polish；　with；　I　hope；　the



right　shade　of　consideration　demanded　by　his　noble　blood　and　his



confidential　position。　　His　face　cleared　up　in　a　wonderful　way。　



It　appeared　that；　notwithstanding　my　uncle's　earnest　assurances；



the　good　fellow　had　remained　in　doubt　of　our　understanding　each



other。　　He　imagined　I　would　talk　to　him　in　some　foreign　language。







I　was　told　that　his　last　words　on　getting　into　the　sledge　to　come



to　meet　me　shaped　an　anxious　exclamation：







〃Well！　　Well！　　Here　I　am　going；　but　God　only　knows　how　I　am　to



make　myself　understood　to　our　master's　nephew。〃







We　understood　each　other　very　well　from　the　first。　　He　took



charge　of　me　as　if　I　were　not　quite　of　age。　　I　had　a　delightful



boyish　feeling　of　coming　home　from　school　when　he　muffled　me　up



next　morning　in　an　enormous　bearskin　travelling…coat　and　took　his



seat　protectively　by　my　side。　　The　sledge　was　a　very　small　one；



and　it　looked　utterly　insignificant；　almost　like　a　toy　behind　the



four　big　bays　harnessed　two　and　two。　　We　three；　counting　the



coachman；　filled　it　completely。　　He　was　a　young　fellow　with　clear



blue　eyes；　the　high　collar　of　his　livery　fur　coat　framed　his



cheery　countenance　and　stood　all　round　level　with　the　top　of　his



head。







〃Now；　Joseph；〃　my　companion　addressed　him；　〃do　you　think　we　shall



manage　to　get　home　before　six？〃　　His　answer　was　that　we　would



surely；　with　God's　help；　and　providing　there　were　no　heavy　drifts



in　the　long　stretch　between　certain　villages　whose　names　came



with　an　extremely　familiar　sound　to　my　ears。　　He　turned　out　an



excellent　coachman；　with　an　instinct　for　keeping　the　road　among



the　snow…covered　fields　and　a　natural　gift　of　getting　the　best



out　of　his　horses。







〃He　is　the　son　of　that　Joseph　that　I　suppose　the　Captain



remembers。　　He　who　used　to　drive　the　Captain's　late　grandmother



of　holy　memory；〃　remarked　V。　S。；　busy　tucking　fur　rugs　about　my



feet。







I　remembered　perfectly　the　trusty　Joseph　who　used　to　drive　my



grandmother。　　Why！　he　it　was　who　let　me　hold　the　reins　for　the



first　time　in　my　life　and　allowed　me　to　play　with　the　great



four…in…hand　whip　outside　the　doors　of　the　coach…house。







〃What　became　of　him？〃　I　asked。　　〃He　is　no　longer　serving；　I



suppose。〃







〃He　served　our　master；〃　was　the　reply。　〃But　he　died　of　cholera



ten　years　ago　nowthat　great　epidemic　that　we　had。　　And　his　wife



died　at　the　same　timethe　whole　houseful　of　them；　and　this　is



the　only　boy　that　was　left。〃







The　MS。　of　〃Almayer's　Folly〃　was　reposing　in　the　bag　under　our



feet。







I　saw　again　the　sun　setting　on　the　plains　as　I　saw　it　in　the



travels　of　my　childhood。　　It　set；　clear　and　red；　dipping　into　the



snow　in　full　view　as　if　it　were　setting　on　the　sea。　It　was



twenty…three　years　since　I　had　seen　the　sun　set　over　that　land；



and　we　drove　on　in　the　darkness　which　fell　swiftly　upon　the　livid



expanse　of　snows　till；　out　of　the　waste　of　a　white　earth　joining



a　bestarred　sky；　surged　up　black　shapes；　the　clumps　of　trees



about　a　village　of　the　Ukrainian　plain。　　A　cottage　or　two　glided



by；　a　low　interminable　wall；　and　then；　glimmering　and　winking



through　a　screen　of　fir…trees；　the　lights　of　the　master's　house。







That　very　evening　the　wandering　MS。　of　〃Almayer's　Folly〃　was



unpacked　and　unostentatiously　laid　on　the　writing…table　in　my



room；　the　guest…room　which　had　been；　I　was　informed　in　an



affectionately　careless　tone；　awaiting　me　for　some　fifteen　years



or　so。　　It　attracted　no　attention　from　the　affectionate　presence



hovering　round　the　son　of　the　favourite　sister。







〃You　won't　have　many　hours　to　yourself　while　you　are　staying　with



me；　brother；〃　he　saidthis　form　of　address　borrowed　from　the



speech　of　our　peasants　being　the　usual　expression　of　the　highest



good　humour　in　a　moment　of　affectionate　elation。　　〃I　shall　be



always　coming　in　for　a　chat。〃







As　a　matter　of　fact；　we　had　the　whole　house　to　chat　in；　and　were



everlastingly　intruding　upon　each　other。　　I　invaded　the



retirement　of　his　study　where　the　principal　feature　was　a



colossal　silver　inkstand　presented　to　him　on　his　fiftieth　year　by



a　subscription　of　all　his　wards　then　living。　　He　had　been



guardian　of　many　orphans　of　land…owning　families　from　the　three



southern　provinceseve