letters of two brides-第8部分

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some　Spanish　exile　happy　by　passing　on　to　him　my　connection。

I　lodge　in　the　Rue　Hillerin…Bertin　with　a　poor　widow；　who　takes
boarders。　My　room　faces　south　and　looks　out　on　a　little　garden。　It　is
perfectly　quiet；　I　have　green　trees　to　look　upon；　and　spend　the　sum　of
one　piastre　a　day。　I　am　amazed　at　the　amount　of　calm；　pure　pleasure
which　I　enjoy　in　this　life；　after　the　fashion　of　Dionysius　at　Corinth。
From　sunrise　until　ten　o'clock　I　smoke　and　take　my　chocolate；　sitting
at　my　window　and　contemplating　two　Spanish　plants；　a　broom　which　rises
out　of　a　clump　of　jessaminegold　on　a　white　ground；　colors　which　must
send　a　thrill　through　any　scion　of　the　Moors。　At　ten　o'clock　I　start
for　my　lessons；　which　last　till　four；　when　I　return　for　dinner。
Afterwards　I　read　and　smoke　till　I　go　to　bed。

I　can　put　up　for　a　long　time　with　a　life　like　this；　compounded　of　work
and　meditation；　of　solitude　and　society。　Be　happy；　therefore；　Fernand；
my　abdication　has　brought　no　afterthoughts；　I　have　no　regrets　like
Charles　V。；　no　longing　to　try　the　game　again　like　Napoleon。　Five　days
and　nights　have　passed　since　I　wrote　my　will；　to　my　mind　they　might
have　been　five　centuries。　Honor；　titles；　wealth；　are　for　me　as　though
they　had　never　existed。

Now　that　the　conventional　barrier　of　respect　which　hedged　me　round　has
fallen；　I　can　open　my　heart　to　you；　dear　boy。　Though　cased　in　the
armor　of　gravity；　this　heart　is　full　of　tenderness　and　devotion；　which
have　found　no　object；　and　which　no　woman　has　divined；　not　even　she
who；　from　her　cradle；　has　been　my　destined　bride。　In　this　lies　the
secret　of　my　political　enthusiasm。　Spain　has　taken　the　place　of　a
mistress　and　received　the　homage　of　my　heart。　And　now　Spain；　too；　is
gone！　Beggared　of　all；　I　can　gaze　upon　the　ruin　of　what　once　was　me
and　speculate　over　the　mysteries　of　my　being。

Why　did　life　animate　this　carcass；　and　when　will　it　depart？　Why　has
that　race；　pre…eminent　in　chivalry；　breathed　all　its　primitive　virtues
its　tropical　love；　its　fiery　poetryinto　this　its　last　offshoot；　if
the　seed　was　never　to　burst　its　rugged　shell；　if　no　stem　was　to　spring
forth；　no　radiant　flower　scatter　aloft　its　Eastern　perfumes？　Of　what
crime　have　I　been　guilty　before　my　birth　that　I　can　inspire　no　love？
Did　fate　from　my　very　infancy　decree　that　I　should　be　stranded；　a
useless　hulk；　on　some　barren　shore！　I　find　in　my　soul　the　image　of　the
deserts　where　my　fathers　ranged；　illumined　by　a　scorching　sun　which
shrivels　up　all　life。　Proud　remnant　of　a　fallen　race；　vain　force；　love
run　to　waste；　an　old　man　in　the　prime　of　youth；　here　better　than
elsewhere　shall　I　await　the　last　grace　of　death。　Alas！　under　this
murky　sky　no　spark　will　kindle　these　ashes　again　to　flame。　Thus　my
last　words　may　be　those　of　Christ；　/My　God；　Thou　hast　forsaken　me！/
Cry　of　agony　and　terror；　to　the　core　of　which　no　mortal　has　ventured
yet　to　penetrate！

You　can　realize　now；　Fernand；　what　a　joy　it　is　to　me　to　live　afresh　in
you　and　Marie。　I　shall　watch　you　henceforth　with　the　pride　of　a
creator　satisfied　in　his　work。　Love　each　other　well　and　go　on　loving
if　you　would　not　give　me　pain；　any　discord　between　you　would　hurt　me
more　than　it　would　yourselves。

Our　mother　had　a　presentiment　that　events　would　one　day　serve　her
wishes。　It　may　be　that　the　longing　of　a　mother　constitutes　a　pact
between　herself　and　God。　Was　she　not；　moreover；　one　of　those
mysterious　beings　who　can　hold　converse　with　Heaven　and　bring　back
thence　a　vision　of　the　future？　How　often　have　I　not　read　in　the　lines
of　her　forehead　that　she　was　coveting　for　Fernand　the　honors　and　the
wealth　of　Felipe！　When　I　said　so　to　her；　she　would　reply　with　tears；
laying　bare　the　wounds　of　a　heart；　which　of　right　was　the　undivided
property　of　both　her　sons；　but　which　an　irresistible　passion　gave　to
you　alone。

Her　spirit；　therefore；　will　hover　joyfully　above　your　heads　as　you　bow
them　at　the　altar。　My　mother；　have　you　not　a　caress　for　your　Felipe
now　that　he　has　yielded　to　your　favorite　even　the　girl　whom　you
regretfully　thrust　into　his　arms？　What　I　have　done　is　pleasing　to　our
womankind；　to　the　dead；　and　to　the　King；　it　is　the　will　of　God。　Make
no　difficulty　then；　Fernand；　obey；　and　be　silent。

/P。　S。/　Tell　Urraca　to　be　sure　and　call　me　nothing　but　M。　Henarez。
Don't　say　a　word　about　me　to　Marie。　You　must　be　the　one　living　soul　to
know　the　secrets　of　the　last　Christianized　Moor；　in　whose　veins　runs
the　blood　of　a　great　family；　which　took　its　rise　in　the　desert　and　is
now　about　to　die　out　in　the　person　of　a　solitary　exile。

Farewell。



VII

LOUISE　DE　CHAULIEU　TO　RENEE　DE　MAUCOMBE

WHAT！　To　be　married　so　soon。　But　this　is　unheard　of。　At　the　end　of　a
month　you　become　engaged　to　a　man　who　is　a　stranger　to　you；　and　about
whom　you　know　nothing。　The　man　may　be　deafthere　are　so　many　kinds　of
deafness！he　may　be　sickly；　tiresome；　insufferable！

Don't　you　see；　Renee；　what　they　want　with　you？　You　are　needful　for
carrying　on　the　glorious　stock　of　the　l'Estorades；　that　is　all。　You
will　be　buried　in　the　provinces。　Are　these　the　promises　we　made　each
other？　Were　I　you；　I　would　sooner　set　off　to　the　Hyeres　islands　in　a
caique；　on　the　chance　of　being　captured　by　an　Algerian　corsair　and
sold　to　the　Grand　Turk。　Then　I　should　be　a　Sultana　some　day；　and
wouldn't　I　make　a　stir　in　the　harem　while　I　was　youngyes；　and
afterwards　too！

You　are　leaving　one　convent　to　enter　another。　I　know　you；　you　are　a
coward；　and　you　will　submit　to　the　yoke　of　family　life　with　a　lamblike
docility。　But　I　am　here　to　direct　you；　you　must　come　to　Paris。　There
we　shall　drive　the　men　wild　and　hold　a　court　like　queens。　Your
husband；　sweetheart；　in　three　years　from　now　may　become　a　member　of
the　Chamber。　I　know　all　about　members　now；　and　I　will　explain　it　to
you。　You　will　work　that　machine　very　well；　you　can　live　in　Paris；　and
become　there　what　my　mother　calls　a　woman　of　fashion。　Oh！　you　needn't
suppose　I　will　leave　you　in　your　grange！

Monday。

For　a　whole　fortnight　now；　my　dear；　I　have　been　living　the　life　of
society；　one　evening　at　the　Italiens；　another　at　the　Grand　Opera；　and
always　a　ball　afterwards。　Ah！　society　is　a　witching　world。　The　music
of　the　Opera　enchants　me；　and　whilst　my　soul　is　plunged　in　divine
pleasure；　I　am　the　centre　of　admiration　and　the　focus　of　all　the
opera…glasses。　But　a　single　glance　will　make　the　boldest　youth　drop
his　eyes。

I　have　seen　some　charming　young　men　there；　all　the　same；　I　don't　care
for　any　of　them；　not　one　has　roused　in　me　the　emotion　which　I　feel
when　I　listen　to　Garcia　in　his　splendid　duet　with　Pellegrini　in
/Otello/。　Heavens！　how　jealous　Rossini　must　have　been　to　express
jealousy　so　well！　What　a　cry　in　〃Il　mio　cor　si　divide！〃　I'm　speaking
Greek　to　you；　for　you　never　heard　Garcia；　but　then　you　know　how
jealous　I　am！

What　a　wretched　dramatist　Shakespeare　is！　Othello　is　in　love　with
glory；　he　wins　battles；　he　gives　orders；　he　struts　about　and　is　all
over　the　place　while　Desdemona　sits　at　home；　and　Desdemona；　who　sees
herself　neglected　for　the　silly　fuss　of　public　life；　is　quite　meek　all
the　time。　Such　a　sheep　deserves　to　be　slaughtered。　Let　the　man　whom　I
deign　to　love　beware　how　he　thinks　of　anything　but　loving　me！

For　my　part；　I　like　those　long　trials　of　the　old…fashioned　chivalry。
That　lout　of　a　young　lord；　who　took　offence　because　his　sovereign…lady
sent　him　down　among　the　lions　to　fetch　her　glove；　was；　in　my　opinion；
very　impertinent；　and　a　fool　too。　Doubtless　the　lady　had　in　reserve
for　him　some　exquisite　flower　of　love；　which　he　lost；　as　he　well
deservedthe　puppy！

But　here　am　I　running　on　as　though　I　had　not　a　great　piece　of　news　to
tell　you。　My　father　is　certainly　going　to　represent　our　master　the
King　at　Madrid。　I　say　/our/　master；　for　I　shall　make　part　of　the
embassy。　My　mother　wishes　to　remain　here；　and　my　father　will　take　me
so　as　to　have　some　woman　with　him。

My　dear；　this　seems　to　you；　no　doubt；　very　simple；　but　there　are
horrors　behind　it；　all　the　same：　in　a　fortnight　I　have　probed　the
secrets　of　the　house。　My　mother　would　accompany　my　father　to　Madrid　if
he　would　take　M。　de　Canalis　as　a　secretary　to　the　embassy。　But　the
King　appoints　the　secretaries；　the　Duke　dare　neither　annoy　the　King；
who　hates　to　be　opposed；　nor　vex　my　mother；　and　the　wily　diplomat
believes　he　has　cut　the　knot　by　leaving　the　Duchess　here。　M。　de
Canalis；　who　is　the　great　poet　of　the　day；　is　the　young　man　who
cultivates　my　mother's　society；　and　who　no　doubt　studies　diplomacy
with　her　from　three　o'clock　to　five。　Diplomacy　must　be　a　fine　subject；
for　he　is　as　regular　as　a　gambler　on　the　Stock　Exchange。

The　Duc　de　Rhetore；　our　elder　brother；　solemn；　cold；　and　whimsical；
would　be　extinguished　by　his　father　at　Madrid；　therefore　he　remains　in
Paris。　Miss　Griffith　has　found　out　also　that　Alphonse　is　in　love　with
a　ballet…girl　at　the　Opera。　How　is　it　possible　to　fall　in　love　with
legs　and　pirouettes？　We　have　noticed　that　my　brother　comes　to　the
theatre　only　when　Tullia　dances　there；　he　applauds　the　steps　of　this
creature；　and　then　goes　out。　Two　ballet…girls　in　a　family　are；　I
fancy；　more　destructive　than　the　plague。　My　second　brother　is　with　his
regiment；　and　I　have　not　yet　seen　him。　Thus　it　comes　about　that　I　have
to　act　as　the　Antigone　of　His　Majesty's　ambassador。　Perhaps　I　may　get
married　in　Spain；　and　perhaps　my　father's　idea　is　a　marriage　there
without　dowry；　after　the　pattern　of　yours　with　this　broken…down　guard
of　honor。　My　father　asked　if　I　would　go　with　him；　and　offered　me　the
use　of　his　Spanish　master。

〃Spain；　the　country　for　castles　in　the　air！〃　I　cried。　〃Perhaps　you
hope　that　it　may　mean　marriages　for　me！〃

For　sole　reply　he　honored　me　with　a　meaning　look。　For　some　days　he　has
amused　himself　with　teasing　me　at　lunch；　he　watches　me；　and　I
dissemble。　In　this　way　I　have　played　with　him　cruelly　as　father　and
ambassador　/in　petto/。　Hadn't　he　taken　me　for　a　fool？　He　asked　me　what
I　thought　of　this　and　that　young　man；　and　of　some　girls　whom　I　had　met
in　several　houses。　I　replied　with　quite　inane　remarks　on　the　color　of
their　hair；　their　faces；　and　the　difference　in　their　figures。　My
father　seemed　disappointed　at　my　crassness；　and　inwardly　blamed
himself　for　having