tales and fantasies-第6部分
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the derided fugitive。
The time began to draw near when his father would have
returned from the office; and it would be the prodigal's cue
to enter。 He strolled westward by Albany Street; facing the
sunset embers; pleased; he knew not why; to move in that cold
air and indigo twilight; starred with street…lamps。 But
there was one more disenchantment waiting him by the way。
At the corner of Pitt Street he paused to light a fresh
cigar; the vesta threw; as he did so; a strong light upon his
features; and a man of about his own age stopped at sight of
it。
'I think your name must be Nicholson;' said the stranger。
It was too late to avoid recognition; and besides; as John
was now actually on the way home; it hardly mattered; and he
gave way to the impulse of his nature。
'Great Scott!' he cried; 'Beatson!' and shook hands with
warmth。 It scarce seemed he was repaid in kind。
'So you're home again?' said Beatson。 'Where have you been
all this long time?'
'In the States;' said John … 'California。 I've made my pile
though; and it suddenly struck me it would be a noble scheme
to come home for Christmas。'
'I see;' said Beatson。 'Well; I hope we'll see something of
you now you're here。'
'Oh; I guess so;' said John; a little frozen。
'Well; ta…ta;' concluded Beatson; and he shook hands again
and went。
This was a cruel first experience。 It was idle to blink
facts: here was John home again; and Beatson … Old Beatson …
did not care a rush。 He recalled Old Beatson in the past …
that merry and affectionate lad … and their joint adventures
and mishaps; the window they had broken with a catapult in
India Place; the escalade of the castle rock; and many
another inestimable bond of friendship; and his hurt surprise
grew deeper。 Well; after all; it was only on a man's own
family that he could count; blood was thicker than water; he
remembered; and the net result of this encounter was to bring
him to the doorstep of his father's house; with tenderer and
softer feelings。
The night had come; the fanlight over the door shone bright;
the two windows of the dining…room where the cloth was being
laid; and the three windows of the drawing…room where Maria
would be waiting dinner; glowed softlier through yellow
blinds。 It was like a vision of the past。 All this time of
his absence life had gone forward with an equal foot; and the
fires and the gas had been lighted; and the meals spread; at
the accustomed hours。 At the accustomed hour; too; the bell
had sounded thrice to call the family to worship。 And at the
thought; a pang of regret for his demerit seized him; he
remembered the things that were good and that he had
neglected; and the things that were evil and that he had
loved; and it was with a prayer upon his lips that he mounted
the steps and thrust the key into the key…hole。
He stepped into the lighted hall; shut the door softly behind
him; and stood there fixed in wonder。 No surprise of
strangeness could equal the surprise of that complete
familiarity。 There was the bust of Chalmers near the stair…
railings; there was the clothes…brush in the accustomed
place; and there; on the hat…stand; hung hats and coats that
must surely be the same as he remembered。 Ten years dropped
from his life; as a pin may slip between the fingers; and the
ocean and the mountains; and the mines; and crowded marts and
mingled races of San Francisco; and his own fortune and his
own disgrace; became; for that one moment; the figures of a
dream that was over。
He took off his hat; and moved mechanically toward the stand;
and there he found a small change that was a great one to
him。 The pin that had been his from boyhood; where he had
flung his balmoral when he loitered home from the Academy;
and his first hat when he came briskly back from college or
the office … his pin was occupied。 'They might have at least
respected my pin!' he thought; and he was moved as by a
slight; and began at once to recollect that he was here an
interloper; in a strange house; which he had entered almost
by a burglary; and where at any moment he might be
scandalously challenged。
He moved at once; his hat still in his hand; to the door of
his father's room; opened it; and entered。 Mr。 Nicholson sat
in the same place and posture as on that last Sunday morning;
only he was older; and greyer; and sterner; and as he now
glanced up and caught the eye of his son; a strange commotion
and a dark flush sprung into his face。
'Father;' said John; steadily; and even cheerfully; for this
was a moment against which he was long ago prepared; 'father;
here I am; and here is the money that I took from you。 I
have come back to ask your forgiveness; and to stay Christmas
with you and the children。'
'Keep your money;' said the father; 'and go!'
'Father!' cried John; 'for God's sake don't receive me this
way。 I've come for … '
'Understand me;' interrupted Mr。 Nicholson; 'you are no son
of mine; and in the sight of God; I wash my hands of you。
One last thing I will tell you; one warning I will give you;
all is discovered; and you are being hunted for your crimes;
if you are still at large it is thanks to me; but I have done
all that I mean to do; and from this time forth I would not
raise one finger … not one finger … to save you from the
gallows! And now;' with a low voice of absolute authority;
and a single weighty gesture of the finger; 'and now … go!'
CHAPTER VI … THE HOUSE AT MURRAYFIELD
How John passed the evening; in what windy confusion of mind;
in what squalls of anger and lulls of sick collapse; in what
pacing of streets and plunging into public…houses; it would
profit little to relate。 His misery; if it were not
progressive; yet tended in no way to diminish; for in
proportion as grief and indignation abated; fear began to
take their place。 At first; his father's menacing words lay
by in some safe drawer of memory; biding their hour。 At
first; John was all thwarted affection and blighted hope;
next bludgeoned vanity raised its head again; with twenty
mortal gashes: and the father was disowned even as he had
disowned the son。 What was this regular course of life; that
John should have admired it? what were these clock…work
virtues; from which love was absent? Kindness was the test;
kindness the aim and soul; and judged by such a standard; the
discarded prodigal … now rapidly drowning his sorrows and his
reason in successive drams … was a creature of a lovelier
morality than his self…righteous father。 Yes; he was the
better man; he felt it; glowed with the consciousness; and
entering a public…house at the corner of Howard Place
(whither he had somehow wandered) he pledged his own virtues
in a glass … perhaps the fourth since his dismissal。 Of that
he knew nothing; keeping no account of what he did or where
he went; and in the general crashing hurry of his nerves;
unconscious of the approach of intoxication。 Indeed; it is a
question whether he were really growing intoxicated; or
whether at first the spirits did not even sober him。 For it
was even as he drained this last glass that his father's
ambiguous and menacing words … popping from their hiding…
place in memory … startled him like a hand laid upon his
shoulder。 'Crimes; hunted; the gallows。' They were ugly
words; in the ears of an innocent man; perhaps all the
uglier; for if some judicial error were in act against him;
who should set a limit to its grossness or to how far it
might be pushed? Not John; indeed; he was no believer in the
powers of innocence; his cursed experience pointing in quite
other ways; and his fears; once wakened; grew with every hour
and hunted him about the city streets。
It was; perhaps; nearly nine at night; he had eaten nothing
since lunch; he had drunk a good deal; and he was exhausted
by emotion; when the thought of Houston came into his head。
He turned; not merely to the man as a friend; but to his
house as a place of refuge。 The danger that threatened him
was still so vague that he knew neither what to fear nor
where he might expect it; but this much at least seemed
undeniable; that a private house was safer than a public inn。
Moved by these counsels; he turned at once to the Caledonian
Station; passed (not without alarm) into the bright lights of
the approach; redeemed his portmanteau from the cloak…room;
and was soon whirling in a cab along the Glasgow Road。 The
change of movement and position; the sight of the lamps
twinkling to the rear; and the smell of damp and mould and
rotten straw which clung about the vehicle; wrought in him
strange alternations of lucidity and mortal giddiness。
'I have been drinking;' he discovered; 'I must go straight to
bed; and sleep。' And he thanked Heaven for the drowsiness
that came upon his mind in waves。
From one of these spells he was wakened by the stoppage of
the cab; and; getting down; found himself in quite a country
road; the last lamp of the suburb shining some way below; and
the high walls of a garden rising before him in the dark。
The Lodge (as the place was named); stood; indeed; very
solitary。 To the south it adjoined another house; but
standing in so large a garden as to be well out of cry; on
all other sides; open fields stretched upward to the woods of
Corstorphine Hill; or backward to the dells of Ravelston; or
downward toward the valley of the Leith。 The effect of
seclusion was aided by the great height of the garden walls;
which were; indeed; conventual; and; as John had tested in
former days; defied the climbing schoolboy。 The lamp of the
cab threw a gleam upon the door and the not brilliant handle
of the bell。
'Shall I ring for ye?' said the cabman; who had descended
from his perch; and was slapping his chest; for the night was
bitte