hemingway, ernest - for whom the bell tolls-第18部分
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〃'I am afraid to die； Pilar；' he said。 '_Tengo miedo de morir_。 Dost thou understand？'
〃'Then get out of bed；' I said to him。 'There is not room in one bed for me and thee and thy fear all together。'
〃Then he was ashamed and was quiet and I went to sleep but； man； he's a ruin。〃
Robert Jordan said nothing。
〃All my life I have had this sadness at intervals；〃 the woman said。 〃But it is not like the sadness of Pablo。 It does not affect my resolution。〃
〃I believe that。〃
〃It may be it is like the times of a woman；〃 she said。 〃It may be it is nothing；〃 she paused； then went on。 〃I put great illusion in the Republic。 I believe firmly in the Republic and I have faith。 I believe in it with fervor as those who have religious faith believe in the mysteries。〃
〃I believe you。〃
〃And you have this same faith？〃
〃In the Republic？〃
〃Yes。〃
〃Yes；〃 he said； hoping it was true。
〃I am happy；〃 the woman said。 〃And you have no fear？〃
〃Not to die；〃 he said truly。
〃But other fears？〃
〃Only of not doing my duty as I should。〃
〃Not of capture； as the other had？〃
〃No；〃 he said truly。 〃Fearing that； one would be so preoccupied as to be useless。〃
〃You are a very cold boy。〃
〃No；〃 he said。 〃I do not think so。〃
〃No。 In the head you are very cold。〃
〃It is that I am very preoccupied with my work。〃
〃But you do not like the things of life？〃
〃Yes。 Very much。 But not to interfere with my work。〃
〃You like to drink； I know。 I have seen。〃
〃Yes。 Very much。 But not to interfere with my work。〃
〃And women？〃
〃I like them very much； but I have not given them much importance。〃
〃You do not care for them？〃
〃Yes。 But I have not found one that moved me as they say they should move you。〃
〃I think you lie。〃
〃Maybe a little。〃
〃But you care for Maria。〃
〃Yes。 Suddenly and very much。〃
〃I； too。 I care for her very much。 Yes。 Much。〃
〃I； too；〃 said Robert Jordan； and could feel his voice thickening。 〃I； too。 Yes。〃 It gave him pleasure to say it and he said it quite formally in Spanish。 〃I care for her very much。〃
〃I will leave you alone with her after we have seen El Sordo。〃
Robert Jordan said nothing。 Then he said； 〃That is not necessary。〃
〃Yes； man。 It is necessary。 There is not much time。〃
〃Did you see that in the hand？〃 he asked。
〃No。 Do not remember that nonsense of the hand。〃
She had put that away with all the other things that might do ill to the Republic。
Robert Jordan said nothing。 He was looking at Maria putting away the dishes inside the cave。 She wiped her hands and turned and smiled at him。 She could not hear what Pilar was saying； but as she smiled at Robert Jordan she blushed dark under the tawny skin and then smiled at him again。
〃There is the day also；〃 the woman said。 〃You have the night； but there is the day； too。 Clearly； there is no such luxury as in Valencia in my time。 But you could pick a few wild strawberries or something。〃 She laughed。
Robert Jordan put his arm on her big shoulder。 〃I care for thee； too；〃 he said。 〃I care for thee very much。〃
〃Thou art a regular Don Juan Tenorio；〃 the woman said； embarrassed now with affection。 〃There is a commencement of caring for every one。 Here comes Agust韓。〃
Robert Jordan went into the cave and up to where Maria was standing。 She watched him come toward her； her eyes bright； the blush again on her cheeks and throat。
〃Hello； little rabbit；〃 he said and kissed her on the mouth。 She held him tight to her and looked in his face and said； 〃Hello。 Oh； hello。 Hello。〃
Fernando； still sitting at the table smoking a cigarette； stood up； shook his head and walked out； picking up his carbine from where it leaned against the wall。
〃It is very unformal；〃 he said to Pilar。 〃And I do not like it。 You should take care of the girl。〃
〃I am；〃 said Pilar。 〃That comrade is her _novio_。〃
〃Oh；〃 said Fernando。 〃In that case； since they are engaged； I encounter it to be perfectly normal。〃
〃I am pleased；〃 the woman said。
〃Equally；〃 Fernando agreed gravely。 〃_Salud_； Pilar。〃
〃Where are you going？〃
〃To the upper post to relieve Primitivo。〃
〃Where the hell are you going？〃 Agust韓 asked the grave little man as he came up。
〃To my duty；〃 Fernando said with dignity。
〃Thy duty；〃 said Agust韓 mockingly。 〃I besmirch the milk of thy duty。〃 Then turning to the woman； 〃Where the un…nameable is this vileness that I am to guard？〃
〃In the cave；〃 Pilar said。 〃In two sacks。 And I am tired of thy obscenity。〃
〃I obscenity in the milk of thy tiredness；〃 Agust韓 said。
〃Then go and befoul thyself；〃 Pilar said to him without heat。
〃Thy mother；〃 Agust韓 replied。
〃Thou never had one；〃 Pilar told him； the insults having reached the ultimate formalism in Spanish in which the acts are never stated but only implied。
〃What are they doing in there？〃 Agust韓 now asked confidentially。
〃Nothing；〃 Pilar told him。 〃_Nada_。 We are； after all； in the spring； animal。〃
〃Animal；〃 said Agust韓； relishing the word。 〃Animal。 And thou。 Daughter of the great whore of whores。 I befoul myself in the milk of the springtime。〃
Pilar slapped him on the shoulder。
〃You；〃 she said； and laughed that booming laugh。 〃You lack variety in your cursing。 But you have force。 Did you see the planes？〃
〃I un…name in the milk of their motors；〃 Agust韓 said； nodding his head and biting his lower lip。
〃That's something；〃 Pilar said。 〃That is really something。 But really difficult of execution。〃
〃At that altitude； yes；〃 Agust韓 grinned。 〃_Desde luego_。 But it is better to joke。〃
〃Yes；〃 the woman of Pablo said。 〃It is much better to joke； and you are a good man and you joke with force。〃
〃Listen； Pilar；〃 Agust韓 said seriously。 〃Something is preparing。 It is not true？〃
〃How does it seem to you？〃
〃Of a foulness that cannot be worse。 Those were many planes； woman。 Many planes。〃
〃And thou hast caught fear from them like all the others？〃
〃_Qu椤a_；〃 said Agust韓。 〃What do you think they are preparing？〃
〃Look；〃 Pilar said。 〃From this boy coming for the bridges obviously the Republic is preparing an offensive。 From these planes obviously the Fascists are preparing to meet it。 But why show the planes？〃
〃In this war are many foolish things；〃 Agust韓 said。 〃In this war there is an idiocy without bounds。〃
〃Clearly；〃 said Pilar。 〃Otherwise we could not be here。〃
〃Yes；〃 said Agust韓。 〃We swim within the idiocy for a year now。 But Pablo is a man of much understanding。 Pablo is very wily。〃
〃Why do you say this？〃
〃I say it。〃
〃But you must understand；〃 Pilar explained。 〃It is now too late to be saved by wiliness and he has lost the other。〃
〃I understand；〃 said Agust韓。 〃I know we must go。 And since we must win to survive ultimately； it is necessary that the bridges must be blown。 But Pablo； for the coward that he now is； is very smart。〃
〃I； too； am smart。〃
〃No； Pilar；〃 Agust韓 said。 〃You are not smart。 You are brave。 You are loyal。 You have decision。 You have intuition。 Much decision and much heart。 But you are not smart。〃
〃You believe that？〃 the woman asked thoughtfully。
〃Yes； Pilar。〃
〃The boy is smart；〃 the woman said。 〃Smart and cold。 Very cold in the head。〃
〃Yes；〃 Agust韓 said。 〃He must know his business or they would not have him doing this。 But I do not know that he is smart。 Pablo I _know_ is smart。〃
〃But rendered useless by his fear and his disinclination to action。〃
〃But still smart。〃
〃And what do you say？〃
〃Nothing。 I try to consider it intelligently。 In this moment we need to act with intelligence。 After the bridge we must leave at once。 All must be prepared。 We must know for where we are leaving and how。〃
〃Naturally。〃
〃For thisPablo。 It must be done smartly。〃
〃I have no confidence in Pablo。〃
〃In this； yes。〃
〃No。 You do not know how far he is ruined。〃
〃_Pero es muy vivo_。 He is very smart。 And if we do not do this smartly we are obscenitied。〃
〃I will think about it；〃 Pilar said。 〃I have the day to think about it。〃
〃For the bridges； the boy；〃 Agust韓 said。 〃This he must know。 Look at the fine manner in which the other organized the train。〃
〃Yes；〃 Pilar said。 〃It was really he who planned all。〃
〃You for energy and resolution；〃 Agust韓 said。 〃But Pablo for the moving。 Pablo for the retreat。 Force him now to study it。〃
〃You are a man of intelligence。〃
〃Intelligent； yes；〃 Agust韓 said。 〃But _sin picardia_。 Pablo for that。〃
〃With his fear and all？〃
〃With his fear and all。〃
〃And what do you think of the bridges？〃
〃It is necessary。 That I know。 Two things we must do。 We must leave here and we must win。 The bridges are necessary if we are to Win。〃
〃If Pablo is so smart； why does he not see that？〃
〃He wants things as they are for his own weakness。 He wants tO stay in the eddy of his own weakness。 But the river is rising。 Forced to a change； he will be smart in the change。 _Es muy vivo_。〃
〃It is good that the boy did not kill him。〃
〃_Qu椤a_。 The gypsy wanted me to kill him last night。 The gypsy is an animal。〃
〃You're an animal； too；〃 she said。 〃But intelligent。〃
〃We are both intelligent；〃 Agust韓 said。 〃But the talent is Pablo！〃
〃But difficult to put up with。 You do not know how ruined。〃
〃Yes。 But a talent。 Look； Pilar。 To make war all you need is intelligence。 But to win you need talent and material。〃
〃I will think it over；〃 she said。 〃We must start now。 We are late。〃 Then； raising her voice； 〃English！〃 she called。 〃_Ingl閟！_ Come on！ Let us go。〃
10
〃Let us rest；〃 Pilar said to Robert Jordan。 〃Sit down here； Maria； and let us rest。〃
〃We should continue；〃 Robert Jordan said。 〃Rest when we get there。 I must see this man。〃
〃You will see him；〃 the woman told him。 〃There is no hurry。 Sit down here； Maria。〃
〃Come on；〃 Robert Jordan said。 〃Rest at the top。〃
〃I rest now；〃 the woman said； and sat down by the stream。 The girl sat by her in the heather； the sun shining on her hair。 Only Robert Jordan stood looking across the high mountain meadow with the trout brook running through it。 There was heather growing where he stood。 There were gray boulders rising from the yellow bracken that replaced the heather in the lower part of the meadow and below was the dark line of the pines。
〃How far is it to El Sordo's？〃 he asked。
〃Not far；〃 the woman said。 〃It is across this open country； down into the next valle
