hemingway, ernest - for whom the bell tolls-第87部分

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oldiers　turn　to　hatred　in　order　that　they　may　continue　to　be　soldiers。　Now　it　was　over　he　was　lonely；　detached　and　unelated　and　he　hated　every　one　he　saw。
〃If　there　had　been　no　snow〃　Pilar　said。　And　then；　not　suddenly；　as　a　physical　release　could　have　been　（if　the　woman　would　have　put　her　arm　around　him；　say）　but　slowly　and　from　his　head　he　began　to　accept　it　and　let　the　hate　go　out。　Sure；　the　snow。　That　had　done　it。　The　snow。　Done　itto　others。　Once　you　saw　it　again　as　it　was　to　others；　once　you　got　rid　of　your　own　self；　the　always　ridding　of　self　that　you　had　to　do　in　war。　Where　there　could　be　no　self。　Where　yourself　is　only　to　be　lost。　Then；　from　his　losing　of　it；　he　heard　Pilar　say；　〃Sordo〃
〃What？〃　he　said。
〃Sordo〃
〃Yes；〃　Robert　Jordan　said。　He　grinned　at　her；　a　cracked；　stiff；　too…tightened…facial…tendoned　grin。　〃Forget　it。　I　was　wrong。　I　am　sorry；　woman。　Let　us　do　this　well　and　all　together。　And　the　bridge　_is_　blown；　as　thou　sayest。〃
〃Yes。　Thou　must　think　of　things　in　their　place。〃
〃Then　I　go　now　to　Agust韓。　Put　thy　gypsy　much　farther　down　so　that　he　can　see　well　up　the　road。　Give　those　guns　to　Primitivo　and　take　this　_m醧uina_。　Let　me　show　thee。〃
〃Keep　the　_m醧uina_；〃　Pilar　said。　〃We　will　not　be　here　any　time。　Pablo　should　come　now　and　we　will　be　going。〃
〃Rafael；〃　Robert　Jordan　said；　〃come　down　here　with　me。　Here。　Good。　See　those　coming　out　of　the　culvert。　There；　above　the　truck？　Coming　toward　the　truck？　Hit　me　one　of　those。　Sit。　Take　it　easy。〃
The　gypsy　aimed　carefully　and　fired　and　as　he　jerked　the　bolt　back　and　ejected　the　shell　Robert　Jordan　said；　〃Over。　You　threw　against　the　rock　above。　See　the　rock　dust？　Lower；　by　two　feet。　Now；　careful。　They're　running。　Good。　_Sigue　tirando_。〃
〃I　got　one；〃　the　gypsy　said。　The　man　was　down　in　the　road　halfway　between　the　culvert　and　the　truck。　The　other　two　did　not　stop　to　drag　him。　They　ran　for　the　culvert　and　ducked　in。
〃Don't　shoot　at　him；〃　Robert　Jordan　said。　〃Shoot　for　the　top　part　of　a　front　tire　on　the　truck。　So　if　you　miss　you'll　hit　the　engine。　Good。〃　He　watched　with　the　glasses。　〃A　little　lower。　Good。　You　shoot　like　hell。　_Mucho！　Mucho！_　Shoot　me　the　top　of　the　radiator。　Anywhere　on　the　radiator。　Thou　art　a　champion。　Look。　Don't　let　anything　come　past　that　point　there。　See？〃
〃Watch　me　break　the　windshield　in　the　truck；〃　the　gypsy　said　happily。
〃Nay。　The　truck　is　already　sick；〃　Robert　Jordan　said。　〃Hold　thy　fire　until　anything　comes　down　the　road。　Start　firing　when　it　is　opposite　the　culvert。　Try　to　hit　the　driver。　That　you　all　should　fire；　then；〃　he　spoke　to　Pilar　who　had　come　farther　down　the　slope　with　Primitivo。　〃You　are　wonderfully　placed　here。　See　how　that　steepness　guards　thy　flank？〃
〃That　you　should　get　about　thy　business　with　Agust韓；〃　Pilar　said。　〃Desist　from　thy　lecture。　I　have　seen　terrain　in　my　time。〃
〃Put　Primitivo　farther　up　there；〃　Robert　Jordan　said。　〃There。　See；　man？　This　side　of　where　the　bank　steepens。〃
〃Leave　me；〃　said　Pilar。　〃Get　along；　_Ingl閟_。　Thou　and　thy　perfection。　Here　there　is　no　problem。〃
Just　then　they　heard　the　planes。



Maria　had　been　with　the　horses　for　a　long　time；　but　they　were　no　comfort　to　her。　Nor　was　she　any　to　them。　From　where　she　was　in　the　forest　she　could　not　see　the　road　nor　could　she　see　the　bridge　and　when　the　firing　started　she　put　her　arm　around　the　neck　of　the　big　white…faced　bay　stallion　that　she　had　gentled　and　brought　gifts　to　many　times　when　the　horses　had　been　in　the　corral　in　the　trees　below　the　camp。　But　her　nervousness　made　the　big　stallion　nervous；　too；　and　he　jerked　his　head；　his　nostrils　widening　at　the　firing　and　the　noise　of　the　bombs。　Maria　could　not　keep　still　and　she　walked　around　patting　and　gentling　the　horses　and　making　them　all　more　nervous　and　agitated。
She　tried　to　think　of　the　firing　not　as　just　a　terrible　thing　that　was　happening；　but　to　realize　that　it　was　Pablo　below　with　the　new　men；　and　Pilar　with　the　others　above；　and　that　she　must　not　worry　nor　get　into　a　panic　but　must　have　confidence　in　Roberto。　But　she　could　not　do　this　and　all　the　firing　above　and　below　the　bridge　and　the　distant　sound　of　the　battle　that　rolled　down　from　the　pass　like　the　noise　of　a　far…off　storm　with　a　dried；　rolling　rattle　in　it　and　the　irregular　beat　of　the　bombs　was　simply　a　horrible　thing　that　almost　kept　her　from　breathing。
Then　later　she　heard　Pilar's　big　voice　from　away　below　on　the　hillside　shouting　up　some　obscenity　to　her　that　she　could　not　understand　and　she　thought；　Oh；　God　no；　no。　Don't　talk　like　that　with　him　in　peril。　Don't　offend　any　one　and　make　useless　risks。　Don't　give　any　provocation。
Then　she　commenced　to　pray　for　Roberto　quickly　and　automatically　as　she　had　done　at　school；　saying　the　prayers　as　fast　as　she　could　and　counting　them　on　the　fingers　of　her　left　hand；　praying　by　tens　of　each　of　the　two　prayers　she　was　repeating。　Then　the　bridge　blew　and　one　horse　snapped　his　halter　when　he　rose　and　jerked　his　head　at　the　cracking　roar　and　he　went　off　through　the　trees。　Maria　caught　him　finally　and　brought　him　back；　shivering；　trembling；　his　chest　dark　with　sweat；　the　saddle　down；　and　coming　back　through　the　trees　she　heard　shooting　below　and　she　thought　I　cannot　stand　this　longer。　I　cannot　live　not　knowing　any　longer。　I　cannot　breathe　and　my　mouth　is　so　dry。　And　I　am　afraid　and　I　am　no　good　and　I　frighten　the　horses　and　only　caught　this　horse　by　hazard　because　he　knocked　the　saddle　down　against　a　tree　and　caught　himself　kicking　into　the　stirrups　and　now　as　I　get　the　saddle　up；　Oh；　God；　I　do　not　know。　I　cannot　bear　it。　Oh　please　have　him　be　all　right　for　all　my　heart　and　all　of　me　is　at　the　bridge。　The　Republic　is　one　thing　and　we　must　win　is　another　thing。　But；　Oh；　Sweet　Blessed　Virgin；　bring　him　back　to　me　from　the　bridge　and　I　will　do　anything　thou　sayest　ever。　Because　I　am　not　here。　There　isn't　any　me。　I　am　only　with　him。　Take　care　of　him　for　me　and　that　will　be　me　and　then　I　will　do　the　things　for　thee　and　he　will　not　mind。　Nor　will　it　be　against　the　Republic。　Oh；　please　forgive　me　for　I　am　very　confused。　I　am　too　confused　now。　But　if　thou　takest　care　of　him　I　will　do　whatever　is　right。　I　will　do　what　he　says　and　what　you　say。　With　the　two　of　me　I　will　do　it。　But　this　now　not　knowing　I　cannot　endure。
Then；　the　horse　tied　again；　she　with　the　saddle　up　now；　the　blanket　smoothed；　hauling　tight　on　the　cinch　she　heard　the　big；　deep　voice　from　the　timber　below；　〃Maria！　Maria！　Thy　_Ingl閟_　is　all　right。　Hear　me？　All　right。　_Sin　Novedad！_〃
Maria　held　the　saddle　with　both　hands　and　pressed　her　cropped　head　hard　against　it　and　cried。　She　heard　the　deep　voice　shouting　again　and　she　turned　from　the　saddle　and　shouted；　choking；　〃Yes！　Thank　you！〃　Then；　choking　again；　〃Thank　you！　Thank　you　very　much！〃



When　they　heard　the　planes　they　all　looked　up　and　the　planes　were　coming　from　Segovia　very　high　in　the　sky；　silvery　in　the　high　sky；　their　drumming　rising　over　all　the　other　sounds。
〃Those！〃　Pilar　said。　〃There　has　only　lacked　those！〃
Robert　Jordan　put　his　arm　on　her　shoulders　as　he　watched　them。　〃Nay；　woman；〃　he　said。　〃Those　do　not　come　for　us。　Those　have　no　time　for　us。　Calm　thyself。〃
〃I　hate　them。〃
〃Me　too。　But　now　I　must　go　to　Agust韓。〃
He　circled　the　hillside　through　the　pines　and　all　the　time　there　was　the　throbbing；　drumming　of　the　planes　and　across　the　shattered　bridge　on　the　road　below；　around　the　bend　of　the　road　there　was　the　intermittent　hammering　fire　of　a　heavy　machine　gun。
Robert　Jordan　dropped　down　to　where　Agust韓　lay　in　the　clump　of　scrub　pines　behind　the　automatic　rifle　and　more　planes　were　coming　all　the　time。
〃What　passes　below？〃　Agust韓　said。　〃What　is　Pablo　doing？　Doesn't　he　know　the　bridge　is　gone？〃
〃Maybe　he　can't　leave。〃
〃Then　let　us　leave。　The　hell　with　him。〃
〃He　will　come　now　if　he　is　able；〃　Robert　Jordan　said。　〃We　should　see　him　now。〃
〃I　have　not　heard　him；〃　Agust韓　said。　〃Not　for　five　minutes。　No。　There！　Listen！　There　he　is。　That's　him。〃
There　was　a　burst　of　the　spot…spot…spotting　fire　of　the　cavalry　submachine　gun；　then　another；　then　another。
〃That's　the　bastard；〃　Robert　Jordan　said。
He　watched　still　more　planes　coming　over　in　the　high　cloudless　blue　sky　and　he　watched　Agust韓's　face　as　he　looked　up　at　them。　Then　he　looked　down　at　the　shattered　bridge　and　across　to　the　stretch　of　road　which　still　was　clear。　He　coughed　and　spat　and　listened　to　the　heavy　machine　gun　hammer　again　below　the　bend。　It　sounded　to　be　in　the　same　place　that　it　was　before。
〃And　what's　that？〃　Agust韓　asked。　〃What　the　unnameable　is　that？〃
〃It　has　been　going　since　before　I　blew　the　bridge；〃　Robert　Jordan　said。　He　looked　down　at　the　bridge　now　and　he　could　see　the　stream　through　the　torn　gap　where　the　center　had　fallen；　hanging　like　a　bent　steel　apron。　He　heard　the　first　of　the　planes　that　had　gone　over　now　bombing　up　above　at　the　pass　and　more　were　still　coming。　The　noise　of　their　motors　filled　all　the　high　sky　and　looking　up　he　saw　their　pursuit；　minute　and　tiny；　circling　and　wheeling　high　above　them。
〃I　don't　think　they　ever　crossed　the　lines　the　other　morning；〃　Primitivo　said。　〃They　must　have　swung　off　to　the　west　and　then　come　back。　They　could　not　be　making　an　attack　if　they　had　seen　these。〃
〃Most　of　these　are　new；〃　Robert　Jordan　said。
He　had　the　feeling　of　something　that　had　started　normally　and　had　then　brought　great；　outsized；　giant　repercussions。　It　was　as　though　you　had　thrown　a　stone　and　the　stone　made　a　ripple　and　the　ripple　returned　roaring　and　toppling　as　a　tidal　wave。　Or　as　though　you　shouted　and　the　echo　came　back　in　rolls　and　peals　of　thunder；　and　the　thunder　was　deadly。　Or　as　though　you　struck　one　man　and　he　fell　and　as　far　as　you　could　see　other　men　rose　up　all　armed　and　armored。　He　was　glad　he　was　not　with　Golz　up　at　the　pass。
Lying　there；　by　Agust韓；　watching　the　planes　going　over；　listening　for　firing　behind　him；　watching　the　road　below　where　he　knew　he　would　see　something　but　not　what　it　would　be；　he　still　felt　numb　with　the　surprise　that　he　had　not　been　killed　at　the　bridge。　He　had　accepted　being　killed　so　completely　that　all　of　this　now　seemed　unreal。　Shake　out　of　that；　he　said　to　himself。　Get　rid　of　that。　There　is　much；　much；　much　to　be　done　today。　But　it　would　not　leave　him　and　he　felt；　consciously；　all　of　this　be