sk.thewastelands-第10部分

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Remember　this；　Eddie　my　boy；　the　next　time　you　get　to　thinking　Roland's　maybe　just　another　one　of　the　guys。　He's　been　carrying　it　around　with　him　all　this　time　like　some　kind　of　a　。。。　a　cannibal's　trophy。　Jee…sus。
　　〃I　remember　what　I　thought　when　I　took　it；〃　Roland　said。　〃I　remem…ber　very　well；　it　is　the　only　memory　I　have　of　that　time　which　hasn't　doubled　on　me。　I　thought；　'It　was　bad　luck　to　throw　away　what　I　found　when　I　found　the　boy。　This　will　replace　it。'　Only　then　I　heard　Walter's　laughter…his　mean；　tittery　laughter。　I　heard　his　voice；　too。〃
　　〃What　did　he　say？〃　Susannah　asked。
　　〃　'Too　late；　gunslinger；'〃　Roland　said。　〃That's　what　he　said。　'Too　late…your　luck　will　be　bad　from　now　until　the　end　of　eternity…that　is　your　ka。'　〃
　　
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　　〃ALL　RIGHT；〃　EDDIE　SAID　at　last。　〃I　understand　the　basic　paradox。　Your；　memory　is　divided…〃
　　〃Not　divided。　Doubled。〃
　　〃All　right；　it's　almost　the　same　thing；　isn't　it？〃　Eddie　grasped　a　twig　and　made　his　own　little　drawing　in　the　sand。
　　
　　He　tapped　the　line　on　the　left。　〃This　is　your　memory　of　the　time　before　you　got　to　the　way　station…a　single　track。〃
　　〃Yes。〃
　　He　tapped　the　line　on　the　right。　〃And　after　you　came　out　on　the　far　side　of　the　mountains　in　the　place　of　bones　。　。　。　the　place　where　Walter　was　waiting　for　you。　Also　a　single　track。〃
　　〃Yes。〃
　　Now　Eddie　first　indicated　the　middle　area　and　then　drew　a　rough　circle　around　it。
　　
　　〃That's　what　you've　got　to　do；　Roland…close　this　double　track　off。　Build　a　stockade　around　it　in　your　mind　and　then　forget　it。　Because　it　doesn't　mean　anything；　it　doesn't　change　anything；　it's　gone；　it's　done…〃
　　〃But　it　isn't。〃　Roland　held　up　the　bone。　〃If　my　memories　of　the　boy　Jake　are　false…and　I　know　they　are…how　can　I　have　this？　I　took　it　to　replace　the　one　I　threw　away　。　。　。　but　the　one　I　threw　away　came　from　the　cellar　of　the　way　station；　and　along　the　track　I　know　is　true；　/　never　went　down　cellar！　I　never　spoke　with　the　demon！　I　moved　on　alone；　with　fresh　water　and　nothing　else！〃
　　〃Roland；　listen　to　me；〃　Eddie　said　earnestly。　〃If　that　jawbone　you're　holding　was　the　one　from　the　way　station；　that　would　be　one　thing。　But　isn't　it　possible　that　if　you　hallucinated　that　whole　thing…the　way　station；　the　kid；　the　Speaking　Demon…then　maybe　you　took　Walter's　jawbone　because…〃
　　〃It　was　no　hallucination；〃　Roland　said。　He　looked　at　them　both　with　his　faded　blue　bombardier's　eyes　and　then　did　something　neither　expected　。　。　。　something　Eddie　would　have　sworn　Roland　did　not　know　he　meant　to　do　himself。
　　He　threw　the　jawbone　into　the　fire。
　　
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　　FOR　A　MOMENT　IT　only　lay　there；　a　white　relic　bent　in　a　ghostly　half…grin。　Then　it　suddenly　blazed　red；　washing　the　clearing　with　dazzling　scarlet　light。　Eddie　and　Susannah　cried　out　and　threw　their　hands　up　to　shield　their　eyes　from　that　burning　shape。
　　The　bone　began　to　change。　Not　to　melt；　but　to　change。　The　teeth　which　leaned　out　of　it　like　gravestones　began　to　draw　together　in　clumps。
　　The　mild　curve　of　the　upper　arc　straightened；　then　snubbed　down　at　the　tip。
　　Eddie's　hands　fell　into　his　lap　and　he　stared　at　the　bone　which　was　no　longer　a　bone　with　gape…jawed　wonder。　It　was　now　the　color　of　burn…ing　steel。　The　teeth　had　bee　three　inverted　V's；　the　middle　one　larger　than　those　on　the　ends。　And　suddenly　Eddie　saw　what　it　wanted　to　bee；　just　as　he　had　seen　the　slingshot　in　the　wood　of　the　stump。
　　He　thought　it　was　a　key。
　　You　must　remember　the　shape；　he　thought　feverishly。　You　must；　you　must。
　　His　eyes　traced　it　desperately…three　V's；　the　one　in　the　center　larger　and　deeper　than　the　two　on　the　end。　Three　notches　。　。。　and　the　one　closest　the　end　had　a　squiggle；　the　shallow　shape　of　a　lower…case　s　。。　。
　　Then　the　shape　in　the　flames　changed　again。　The　bone　which　had　bee　something　like　a　key　drew　inward；　concentrating　itself　into　bright；　overlapping　petals　and　folds　as　dark　and　velvety　as　a　moonless　summer　midnight。　For　a　moment　Eddie　saw　a　rose…a　triumphant　rose　that　might　have　bloomed　in　the　dawn　of　this　world's　first　day；　a　thing　of　depthless；　timeless　beauty。　His　eye　saw；　and　his　heart　was　opened。　It　was　as　if　all　love　and　life　had　suddenly　risen　from　Roland's　dead　artifact；　it　was　there　in　the　fire；　burning　out　in　triumph　and　some　wonderful；　inchoate　defiance；　declaring　that　despair　was　a　mirage　and　death　a　dream。
　　The　rose！　he　thought　incoherently。　First　the　key；　then　the　rose！　Behold！　Behold　the　opening　of　the　way　to　the　Tower！
　　There　was　a　thick　cough　from　the　fire。　A　fan　of　sparks　twisted　outwards。　Susannah　screamed　and　rolled　away；　beating　at　the　orange　flecks　on　her　dress　as　the　flames　gushed　upward　toward　the　starry　sky。　Eddie　didn't　move。　He　sat　transfixed　in　his　vision；　held　in　a　cradle　of　wonder　which　was　both　gorgeous　and　terrible；　unmindful　of　the　sparks　which　danced　across　his　skin。　Then　the　flames　sank　back。
　　The　bone　was　gone。
　　The　key　was　gone。
　　The　rose　was　gone。
　　Remember；　he　thought。　Remember　the　rose　。　。　。　and　remember　the　shape　of　the　key。
　　Susannah　was　sobbing　with　shock　and　terror；　but　he　ignored　her　for　the　moment　and　found　the　stick　with　which　he　and　Roland　had　both　drawn。　And　in　the　dirt　he　made　this　shape　with　a　shaking　hand。
　　
　　
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　　〃WHY　DID　YOU　DO　it？〃　Susannah　asked　at　last。　〃Why；　for　God's　sake…and　what　was　it？〃
　　Fifteen　minutes　had　gone　by。　The　fire　had　been　allowed　to　burn　low；　the　scattered　embers　had　either　been　stamped　out　or　had　gone　out　on　their　own。　Eddie　sat　with　his　arms　about　his　wife：　Susannah　sat　before　him；　with　her　back　against　his　chest。　Roland　was　off　to　one　side；　knees　hugged　to　his　chest；　looking　moodily　into　the　orange…red　coals。　So　far　as　Eddie　could　tell；　neither　of　them　had　seen　the　bone　change。　They　had　both　seen　it　glowing　superhot；　and　Roland　had　seen　it　explode　（or　had　it　imploded？　to　Eddie　that　seemed　closer　to　what　he　had　seen）；　but　that　was　all。　Or　so　he　believed；　Roland；　however；　sometimes　kept　his　own　counsel；　and　when　he　decided　to　play　his　cards　close　to　the　vest；　he　played　them　very　close　indeed；　Eddie　knew　that　from　bitter　experience。　He　thought　of　telling　them　what　he　had　seen…or　thought　he　had　seenand　decided　to　play　his　own　cards　tight　and　close…up；　at　least　for　the　time　being。
　　Of　the　jawbone　itself　there　was　no　sign…not　even　a　splinter。
　　〃I　did　it　because　a　voice　spoke　in　my　mind　and　told　me　I　must；〃　Roland　said。　〃It　was　the　voice　of　my　father；　of　all　my　fathers。　When　one　hears　such　a　voice；　not　to　obey…and　at　once…is　unthinkable。　So　I　was　taught。　As　to　what　it　was；　I　can't　say　。　。　。　not　now；　at　least。　I　only　know　that　the　bone　has　spoken　its　final　word。　I　have　carried　it　all　this　way　to　hear　it。〃
　　Or　to　see　it；　Eddie　thought；　and　again：　Remember。　Remember　the　rose。　And　remember　the　shape　of　the　key。
　　〃It　almost　flash…fried　us！〃　She　sounded　both　tired　and　exasperated。
　　Roland　shook　his　head。　〃I　think　it　was　more　like　the　sort　of　firework　the　barons　used　to　sometimes　shoot　into　the　sky　at　their　year…end　parties。　Bright　and　startling；　but　not　dangerous。〃
　　Eddie　had　an　idea。　〃The　doubling　in　your　mind；　Roland…is　it　gone？　Did　it　leave　when　the　bone　exploded；　or　whatever　it　did？〃
　　He　was　almost　convinced　that　it　had；　in　the　movies　he'd　seen；　such　rough　shock…therapy　almost　always　worked。　But　Roland　shook　his　head。
　　Susannah　shifted　in　Eddie's　arms。　〃You　said　you　were　beginning　to　understand。〃
　　Roland　nodded。　〃I　think　so；　yes。　If　I'm　right；　I　fear　for　Jake。　Wher…ever　he　is；　whenever　he　is；　I　fear　for　him。〃
　　〃What　do　you　mean？〃　Eddie　asked。
　　Roland　got　up；　went　to　his　roll　of　hides；　and　began　to　spread　them　out。　〃Enough　stories　and　excitement　for　one　night。　It's　time　to　sleep。　In　the　morning　we'll　follow　the　bear's　backtrail　and　see　if　we　can　find　the　portal　he　was　set　to　guard。　I'll　tell　you　what　I　know　and　what　I　believe　has　happened…what　I　believe　is　happening　still…along　the　way。〃
　　With　that　he　wrapped　himself　in　an　old　blanket　and　a　new　deerskin；　rolled　away　from　the　fire；　and　would　say　no　more。
　　Eddie　and　Susannah　lay　down　together。　When　they　were　sure　the　gunslinger　must　be　asleep；　they　made　love。　Roland　heard　them　going　about　it　as　he　lay　wakeful　and　heard　their　quiet　after…love　talk。　Most　of　it　was　about　him。　He　lay　quietly；　open　eyes　looking　into　the　darkness　long　after　their　talk　had　ceased　and　their　breathing　had　evened　out　into　a　single　easy　note。
　　It　was；　he　thought；　fine　to　be　young　and　in　love。　Even　in　the　grave…yard　which　this　world　had　bee；　it　was　fine。
　　Enjoy　it　while　you　can；　he　thought；　because　there　is　more　death　ahead。　We　have　e　to　a　stream　of　blood。　That　it　will　lead　us　to　a　river　of　the　same　stuff　I　have　no　doubt。　And；　further　along；　to　an　ocean。　In　this　world　the　graves　yawn　and　none　of　the　dead　rest　easy。
　　As　dawn　began　to　e　up　in　the　east；　he　closed　his　eyes。　Slept　briefly。　And　dreamed　of　Jake。
　　
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　　EDDIE　ALSO　DREAMED…DREAMED　he　was　back　in　New　York；　walking　along　Second　Avenue　with　a　book　in　his　hand。
　　In　this　dream　it　was　spring。　The　air　was　warm；　the　city　was　blooming；　and　homesickness　sobbed　within　him　like　a　muscle　with　a　fishhook　caught　deep　within　it。　Enjoy　this　dream；　and　make　it　go　on　as　long　as　you　can；　he　thought。　Savor　it　。　。　。　because　this　is　as　close　to　New　York　as　you're　going　to　get。　You　can't　go　home；　Eddie。　That　part's　done。
　　He　looked　down　at　the　book　and　was　utterly　unsurprised　to　find　it　was　You　Can't　Go　Home　Again；　by　Thomas　Wolfe。　Stamped　into　the　dark　red　cover　were　three　shapes；　key；　rose；　and　door。　He　stopped　for　a　moment；　flipped　the　book　open；　and　read　the　first　line。　The　man　in　black　fled　across　the　desert；　Wolfe　had　written；　and　the　gunslinger　followed。
　　Eddie　closed　it　and　walked　on。　It　was　about　nine　in　the　morning；　he　judged；　maybe　nine…thirty；　and　traffic　on　Second　Avenue　was　light。　Taxis　honked　and　wove　their　way　from　lane　to　lane　with　spring　sunshine　twinkling　off　their　windshields　and　bright　yellow　paintjobs。　A　bum　on　the　corner　of　Second　and　Fifty…second　asked　him　for　a　handout　and　Eddie　tossed　the　book　with　the　red　cover　into　his　lap。　He　observed　（also　without　surprise）　that　the　bum　was　Enrico　Balazar。　He　was　sitting　cross…legged　in　front　of　a　magic　shop。　HOUS