tw.thestoneoffarewell-第145部分

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


p　the　shadow　to　ourselves　and　hug　it　tightly；　gleefully；　nursing　it　as　we　would　a　child。
　　〃We　brought　the　shadow　with　us。　Perhaps　no　living；　reasoning　thing　can　be　without　such　shadow；　but　we　Zida'ya…despite　our　lives；　beside　which　the　spans　of　mortals　are　like　fireflies…still　we　cannot　ignore　that　shadow　that　is　death。　We　cannot　ignore　the　knowledge　of　Unbeing。　Instead；　we　carry　it　with　us　like　a　brooding　secret。
　　〃The　mortals　must　die；　and　they　are　frightened　by　that。　We　who　were　once　of　the　Garden　must　also　die；　although　our　span　is　vastly　greater；　but　we　each　embrace　our　death　from　the　moment　we　first　open　our　eyes；　making　it　an　insoluble　part　of　us。　We　yearn　for　its　plete　embrace；　even　as　the　centuries　roll　bv；　while　around　us　the　death…fearing　mortals　breed　and　drop　like　mice。　We　make　our　death　the　core　of　our　being；　our　private　and　innermost　friend；　letting　life　spin　past　as　we　enjoy　Unbeing's　grave　pany。
　　〃We　would　not　give　Ruyan　Ve's　children　the　secret　of　our　near…immortality；　though　they　were　stock　of　the　same　tree。　We　denied　eternal　life　to　Ruyan's　folk；　the　Tmukeda'ya；　even　as　we　clasped　Death　tighter　and　tighter　to　our　own　bosoms。　We　are　haunted；　my　children。　The　mortal　word　is　the　only　correct　one。　We　are　haunted。〃
　　He　did　not　understand　most　of　what　First　Grandmother　said　but　Amerasu's　voice　worked　on　Simon　like　the　scolding　of　a　loving　parent。　He　felt　small　and　unimportant；　but　reassured　that　the　voice　was　there　and　that　it　spoke　to　him。　The　Sithi　around　him　maintained　their　careful　impassivity。
　　〃Then　the　ship…men　came；〃　Amerasu　said；　her　voice　deepening；　〃and　were　not　content　to　live　and　die　within　the　walls　of　Osten　Ard　as　the　mortal　mice　before　them　had　been。　They　were　not　satisfied　with　the　morsels　we　tossed　to　them。　We　Zida'ya　could　have　stopped　their　depredations　before　they　became　great；　but　instead　we　grieved　over　the　loss　of　beauty　while　secretly　rejoicing。　Our　death　was　ing…a　glorious　and　final　ending　that　would　make　the　shadows　real。　My　husband　Iyu'unigato　was　one　such。　His　gentle；　poetic　heart　loved　death　more　than　it　ever　loved　his　wife　or　the　sons　of　his　loins。〃
　　For　the　first　time　a　quiet　whisper　began　to　travel　through　the　assembly；　an　uneasy　murmur　scarcely　louder　than　the　rustle　of　the　butterflies　overhead。　Amerasu　smiled　sadly。
　　〃It　is　hard　to　hear　such　things；〃　she　said；　〃but　this　is　a　time　when　truth　must　be　spoken。　Of　all　the　Zida'ya；　only　one　truly　did　not　yearn　for　quiet　oblivion。　He　was　my　son　Ineluki；　and　he　burned。　I　do　not　mean　the　manner　of　his　dying…that　may　be　seen　as　a　cruel　irony；　or　as　a　fated　inevitability。　No；　Ineluki　burned　with　life；　and　his　light　dispelled　the　shadows…at　least　some　of　them。
　　〃All　know　what　happened。　All　know　that　Ineluki　slew　his　gentle　father；　that　he　was　then　unmade　at　the　last；　bringing　Asu'a　to　destruction　as　he　struggled　to　save　himself　and　all　his　folk　from　oblivion。　But　his　fires　were　so　fierce　that　he　could　not　go　peacefully　into　the　shadows　beyond　life。　I　curse　him　for　what　he　did　to　my　husband　and　his　people　and　himself；　but　my　mother's　heart　is　still　proud。　By　the　Ships　that　brought　us；　he　burned　then　and　he　bums　still！　Ineluki　will　not　die！〃
　　Amerasu　lifted　a　hand　as　a　fresh　spatter　of　whispering　rolled　through　the　Yasira。　〃Peace　children；　peace！〃　she　cried；　〃First　Grandmother　has　not　herself　embraced　that　shadow。　I　do　not　praise　him　for　what　he　is　now；　only　for　the　fierce　spirit　that　no　other　showed；　when　such　a　spirit　was　the　only　thing　that　could　save　us　from　ourselves。　And　he　did　save　us；　for　his　resistance　and　even　his　madness　gave　others　the　will　to　flee　here；　to　the　house　of　our　exile。〃　She　lowered　her　hand。　〃No；　my　son　embraced　hatred。　It　kept　him　from　dying　a　true　death；　but　it　was　a　flame　even　hotter　than　his　own；　and　it　has　consumed　him。　There　is　nothing　left　of　the　bright　blaze　that　was　my　son。〃　Her　eyes　were　hooded　〃Almost　nothing。〃　
　　When　she　did　not　speak　for　a　while；　Shima'onari　rose　as　if　to　go　to　her；　saying　something　quietly　in　the　Sithi　tongue。　Amerasu　shook　her　head。　〃No；　grandson；　let　me　speak。〃　A　touch　of　anger　entered　her　voice。　〃This　is　all　I　have　left；　but　if　I　am　not　heard；　a　darkness　will　descend　that　will　be　unlike　the　loving　death　which　we　sing　to　in　our　dreams。　It　will　be　worse　than　the　Unbeing　that　drove　us　out　of　our　Garden　beyond　the　sea。〃
　　Shima'onari；　looking　curiously　shaken；　sat　down　beside　stone…eyed　Likimeya。
　　〃Ineluki　has　changed；〃　Amerasu　resumed。　〃He　has　bee　something　the　world　has　not　seen　before；　a　smoldering　ember　of　despair　and　hatred；　surviving　only　to　redress　those　things　which　long　ago　were　injustices　and　mistakes　and　tragic　underestimations；　but　now　are　simply　facts。　Like　ourselves；　Ineluki　dwells　in　the　realm　of　what　was。　But　unlike　his　living　kin；　Ineluki　is　not　content　to　wallow　in　memories　of　the　past。　He　lives；　or　exists…here　is　a　place　the　mortal　language　is　too　inexact…to　see　the　present　state　of　the　world　obliterated　and　the　injustices　made　right；　but　his　only　window　is　anger。　His　justice　will　be　cruel；　his　methods　even　more　horrible。〃
　　She　moved　to　stand　beside　the　object　on　the　stone　pedestal；　letting　her　slim　fingers　rest　gently　on　the　disk's　rim。　Simon　feared　that　she　would　cut　herself；　and　felt　an　abnormal　horror　at　the　idea　of　seeing　blood　on　Amerasu's　thin；　golden　skin。
　　〃I　have　long　known　that　Ineluki　had　returned；　as　have　all　of　you。　Unlike　some；　though；　I　have　not　pushed　it　from　my　mind；　or　rolled　it　over　and　over　in　my　thoughts　only　to　enjoy　the　pain　of　it；　as　one　prods　a　bruise　or　sore　spot。　I　have　wondered；　I　have　thought；　and　I　have　spoken　with　those　few　who　could　help　me；　trying　to　understand　what　might　be　growing　in　the　shadows　of　my　son's　mind。　The　last　of　those　who　brought　me　knowledge　was　the　mortal　boy　Seoman…although　he　did　not　realize；　and　still　does　not；　half　of　what　I　gleaned　from　him。〃　
　　Simon　again　felt　eyes　upon　him；　but　his　own　were　helplessly　fixed　to　Amerasu's　luminous　face；　framed　in　the　great　white　cloud　of　her　hair。
　　〃That　is　just　as　well；〃　she　said。　〃The　manchild　has　been　fate…battered　and　chance…led　in　many　curious　ways；　but　he　is　no　spell…wielder　or　great　hero。　He　has　fulfilled　his　responsibilities　admirably；　but　needs　no　more　heaped　upon　his　young　shoulders。　But　what　I　learned　from　him　has；　I　think；　taught　me　the　true　shape　of　Ineluki's　plan。〃　She　took　a　deep　breath；　summoning　strength。　〃It　is　terrible。　I　could　tell　you；　but　words　may　not　suffice。　I　am　the　eldest　of　this　tribe；　I　am　Amerasu　the　Ship…Born。　Still　there　would　be　some　who　would　secretly　doubt；　and　others　who　would　continue　to　turn　their　faces　away。　Many　of　you　would　prefer　to　live　with　the　beauty　of　imagined　shadows　instead　of　the　ugly　blackness　at　the　core　of　this　shadow…of　the　shadow　that　my　son　spreads　over　us　all。
　　〃So　I　will　show　you　what　I　have　seen；　then　you　will　see；　too。　If　we　can　still　turn　our　heads　away；　my　children；　at　least　we　cannot　continue　to　pretend。　We　may　keep　out　the　winter　for　a　while；　but　at　last　it　will　engulf　us；　too。〃　Her　voice　suddenly　rose；　plaintive　but　powerful。　〃If　we　are　running　joyfully　into　the　arms　of　death；　let　us　at　least　admit　that　is　what　we　do！　Let　us　for　this　once　see　ourselves　plainly；　even　at　the　ending　of　things。〃
　　Amerasu　let　her　gaze　drop；　as　though　great　weariness　or　sorrow　had　overtaken　her。　There　was　a　moment　of　silence；　then　just　as　a　few　quiet　conversations　had　begun；　she　lifted　her　face　to　them　once　more　and　placed　her　hand　on　the　pale　moon…disk。
　　〃This　is　the　Mist　Lamp；　brought　by　my　mother　Senditu　out　of　Tumet'ai　as　the　creeping　hoarfrost　swallowed　that　city。　As　with　the　scales　of　the　Greater　Worm；　as　with　the　Speakfire；　the　singing　Shard；　and　the　Pool　in　great　Asu'a；　it　is　a　door　to　the　Road　of　Dreams。　It　has　shown　me　many　things。　Now　it　is　time　to　share　those　visions。〃
　　Amerasu　reached　down；　lightly　touching　the　bowl　before　the　stone　disk。　A　blue…white　flame　sprang　up　and　hovered　wickless　above　the　bowl's　pale　rim。　The　disk　began　to　gleam　with　a　secretive　light。　Then；　even　as　it　grew　brighter；　the　entire　chamber　of　the　Yasira　started　to　darken；　until　it　seemed　to　Simon　that　the　afternoon　had　truly　withered　away　and　the　moon　had　fallen　from　the　sky　to　hang　there　before　him。
　　〃These　days；　the　dream…lands　have　drawn　nearer　to　our　own；〃　Amerasu　said；　〃just　as　Ineluki's　winter　has　surrounded　and　worn　away　the　summer。〃　Her　voice；　though　clear；　seemed　but　a　whisper。　〃The　dream…lands　are　troubled；　and　there　will　be　moments　when　it　is　difficult　to　stay　upon　the　road；　so　please　lend　me　your　thoughts　and　quiet　assistance。　The　day　is　long　passed　when　the　daughters　of　Jenjiyana　could　speak　as　effortlessly　through　the　Witnesses　as　from　ear　to　ear。〃　She　waved　a　hand　over　the　disk　and　the　room　grew　darker　still。　The　tender　scraping　of　butterfly　wings　increased；　as　though　the　creatures　felt　change　in　the　air。
　　The　disk　glowed。　A　bluish　stain　like　fog　crept　across　its　face；　when　it　passed；　the　Mist　Lamp　had　turned　black。　In　that　blackness　a　scattering　of　icy　stars　appeared　and　a　pale　shape　began　to　grow；　sprouting　up　from　the　base　of　the　Lamp's　disk。　It　was　a　mountain；　white　and　sharp　as　a　tusk；　bleak　as　bone。
　　〃Nakkiga；〃　Amerasu　said　from　the　darkness。　〃The　mountain　the　mortals　call　Stormspike。　The　home　of　Utuk'ku；　who　hides　her　agedness　behind　a　silver　mask；　unwilling　to　admit　that　the　shadow　of　death　can　touch　her；　too。　She　fears　Unbeing　more　than　any　other　of　our　race；　though　she　is　the　eldest　who　still　lives…the　last　of　the　Gardenborn。〃　Amerasu　laughed　quietly。　〃Yes；　my　great…grandmother　is　very　vain。〃　For　a　moment　there　was　a　flash　of　metal；　but　the　Mist　Lamp　blurred　and　the　mountain　reappeared。　〃1　can　feel　her；〃　Amerasu　said。　〃Like　a　spider；　she　waits。　No　fire　of　justice　burns　within　her　as　it　burns　in　Ineluki；　however　mad　he　has　bee。　She　wishes　only　to　destroy　all　who　remember　how　she　was　humbled　in　the　dim；　dim　past　when　our　peoples　broke　asunder。　She　gave　my　son's　raging　spirit　a　home；　together　they　have　fed　each　other's　hatred。　Now　they　are　ready　to　do　what　they　have　plotted　for　so　many　centuries。　Look！〃
　　The　Mist　Lamp　throbbed。　The　white　mountain　loomed　closer；　steaming　beneath　the　cold　black　skies。　Then；　suddenly；　it　began　to　fade　back　into　darkness。　A　few