gc.thewhiterose-第42部分

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　　　Darling　nodded。　She　asked　no　questions。　So　much　was　I　trusted。
　　　The　food　arrived。　Elmo　dragged　in　a　table　and　chairs　and　shooed　out　everyone　but　myself；　the　Lieutenant；　himself；　Silent；　and　the　Lady。　He　might　have　sent　her　away；　too；　but　remained　unsure　of　her　standing　with　me。
　　　We　ate；　and　as　we　did　I　related　my　tale　in　snatches；　when　my　hands　and　mouth　were　not　full。　There　were　some　rough　moments；　especially　when　I　told　Darling　that　Raven　was　alive。
　　　In　retrospect　I　think　it　was　harder　on　me　than　on　her。　I　was　afraid　she　would　get　all　excited　and　hysterical。　She　did　nothing　of　the　sort。
　　　First；　she　flat　refused　to　believe　me。　And　I　could　understand　that；　for　till　he　disappeared　Raven　had　been　the　cornerstone　of　her　universe　emotionally。　She　could　not　see　him　not　including　her　in　his　biggest　lie　ever　just　so　he　could　slip　away　to　go　poke　around　the　Barrowland。　That　made　no　sense　to　her。　Raven　never　lied　to　her　before。
　　　Made　no　sense　to　me；　either。　But　then；　as　I　have　noted　before；　I　suspected　there　was　more　in　the　shadows　than　anyone　was　admitting。　I　sniffed　the　faintest　whiff　that　maybe　Raven　was　running　from　instead　of　to。
　　　Darling's　denials　did　not　last　long。　She　is　not　one　to　disdain　truth　indefinitely　only　because　it　is　unpleasant。　She　handled　the　pain　far　better　than　I　anticipated；　and　that　suggested　maybe　she　had　had　a　chance　to　bleed　off　some　of　the　worst　in　the　past。
　　　Still；　Raven's　present　circumstances　did　nothing　for　Darling's　emotional　health；　already　doing　poorly　after　her　defeat　at　Horse。　That　harbinger　of　grander　defeats　to　e。　Already　she　suspected　she　might　have　to　face　the　imperials　without　benefit　of　the　information　I　had　been　sent　to　acquire。
　　　I　conjured　universal　despair　when　I　announced　my　failure　and　added；　〃I　have　it　on　high　authority　that　what　we　sought　isn't　in　those　papers　anyway。　Though　I　can't　be　sure　till　Ardath　and　I　finish　what　we　have　here。〃　I　did　sketch　what　I　learned　from　Raven's　documents　before　losing　them。
　　　I　did　not　lie　outright。　That　would　not　be　forgiven　later；　when　the　truth　came　out。　As　inevitably　it　must。　I　just　overlooked　a　few　details。　I　even　admitted　having　been　captured；　questioned；　and　imprisoned。
　　　〃What　the　hell　are　you　doing　here；　then？〃　Elmo　demanded。　〃How　e　you're　even　alive？〃
　　　〃They　turned　us　loose；　Ardath　and　me。　After　that　business　you　had　near　Horse。　That　was　a　message。　I'm　supposed　to　deliver　another。〃
　　　〃Such　as？〃
　　　〃Unless　you're　blind　and　stupid；　you'll　have　noticed　that　you're　not　under　attack。　The　Lady　has　ordered　all　operations　against　the　Rebellion　ceased。〃
　　　〃Why？〃
　　　〃You　haven't　been　paying　attention。　Because　the　Dominator　is　stirring。〃
　　　〃e　on；　Croaker。　We　finished　that　business　in　Juniper。〃
　　　〃I　went　to　the　Barrowland。　I　saw　for　myself；　Lieutenant。　That　thing　is　going　to　break　loose。　One　of　its　creatures　is　out　already；　maybe　dogging　One…Eye　and　them。　I'm　convinced。　The　Dominator　is　a　step　from　breaking　out；　and　not　half…assed　like　in　Juniper。〃　I　turned　to　the　Lady。　〃Ardath。　What　was　that　I　figured？　I　lost　track　of　how　long　we've　been　in　the　Plain。　It　was　about　ninety　days　when　we　came　in。〃
　　　〃It　took　you　eight　days　to　get　here；〃　Elmo　said。
　　　I　lifted　an　eyebrow。
　　　〃The　menhirs。〃
　　　〃Of　course。　Eight　days；　then。　Away　from　ninety　for　a　worst…case　scenario。　Eighty…two　days　till　the　Great　Barrow　opens。〃　I　went　into　more　detail　about　the　Great　Tragic　River　floods。
　　　The　Lieutenant　was　not　convinced。　Neither　was　Elmo。　And　you　cannot　blame　them。　The　Lady　weaves　crafty；　intricate　plots。　And　they　were　sneaky　guys　who　judged　others　by　themselves。　I　did　not　proselytize。　I　was　not　wholeheartedly　born…again　myself。
　　　It　was　of　little　consequence　whether　or　not　those　two　believed；　anyway。　Darling　makes　the　decisions。
　　　She　signed　for　everyone　to　leave　but　me。　I　asked　Elmo　to　show　Ardath　around　and　find　her　a　place　to　bunk。　He　looked　at　me　oddly。　Like　everyone　else；　he　figured　I'd　brought　me　home　a　girlfriend。
　　　I　had　trouble　keeping　a　straight　face。　All　those　years　they　have　ridden　me　because　of　a　few　romances　written　when　first　we　entered　the　Lady's　service。　And　now　I'd　brought　her　home。
　　　I　figured　Darling　wanted　to　talk　about　Raven。　I　was　not　wrong；　but　she　surprised　me　by　signing；　〃She　has　sent　you　to　propose　an　alliance；　has　she　not？〃
　　　Quick　little　devil。　〃Not　exactly。　Though　in　practice　it　would　amount　to　that。〃　I　went　into　the　details；　known　and　reasoned；　of　the　situation。　Signing　is　not　quick　work。　But　Darling　remained　attentive　and　patient；　not　at　all　distracted　by　whatever　was　going　on　inside　her。　She　took　me　over　the　value；　or　lack　thereof；　of　my　document　cache。　Not　once　did　she　ask　about　Raven。　Nor　about　Ardath；　though　my　friend　was　on　her　mind；　too。
　　　She　signed；　〃She　is　correct　in　saying　that　our　feud　bees　inconsequential　if　the　Dominator　rises。　My　question　must　be；　is　the　threat　genuine　or　a　ploy？　We　know　just　how　convoluted　a　scheme　she　can　manage。〃
　　　〃I　am　sure；〃　I　signed　in　reply。　〃Because　Raven　was　sure。　He　had　made　up　his　mind　before　the　Lady's　people　began　to　suspect。　In　fact；　as　far　as　I　can　tell；　he　developed　the　evidence　that　convinced　them。〃
　　　〃Goblin　and　One…Eye。　Are　they　safe？〃
　　　〃As　far　as　I　know。　I　never　heard　of　them　being　captured。〃
　　　〃They　should　be　getting　close。　Those　documents。　They　are　the　crux　still。〃
　　　〃Even　if　they　do　not　contain　the　secret　of　her　name；　but　only　that　of　her　husband？〃
　　　〃She　wants　access？〃
　　　〃I　would　assume　so。　I　was　released　for　some　reason；　though　I　cannot　say　what　the　reason　behind　the　reason　was。〃
　　　Darling　nodded。　〃So　I　thought。〃
　　　〃Yet　I　am　convinced　that　she　is　honest　in　this。　That　we　must　consider　the　Dominator　the　more　dangerous　and　immediate　peril。　It　should　not　be　too　difficult　to　anticipate　most　of　the　ways　she　could　bee　treacherous。〃
　　　〃And　there　is　Raven。〃
　　　Here　it　es；　I　thought。　〃Yes。〃
　　　〃I　will　reflect；　Croaker。〃
　　　〃There　is　not　much　time。〃
　　　〃There　is　all　the　time　in　the　world；　in　a　way。　I　will　reflect。　You　and　your　lady　friend　translate。〃
　　　I　felt　I　had　been　dismissed　before　we　got　to　why　she　wanted　to　see　me　privately。　The　woman　has　a　face　like　stone。　You　can't　tell　much　about　what　is　going　on　inside。　I　moved　toward　the　door　slowly。
　　　〃Croaker；〃　she　signed。　〃Wait。〃
　　　I　stopped。　This　was　it。
　　　〃What　is　she；　Croaker？〃
　　　Damn！　Ducked　around　it　again。　Chills　on　my　part。　Guilt。　I　did　not　want　to　lie　outright。　〃Just　a　woman。〃
　　　〃Not　a　special　woman？　A　special　friend？〃
　　　〃I　guess　she　is　special。　In　her　way。〃
　　　〃I　see。　Ask　Silent　to　e　in。〃
　　　Again　I　went　slowly；　nodding。　But　it　was　not　till　I　actually　started　to　open　the　door　that　she　beckoned　me　back。
　　　In　accordance　with　instructions；　I　sat。　She　did　not。　She　paced。　She　signed；　〃You　think　I　am　cold　toward　great　news。　You　think　ill　of　me　because　I　am　not　excited　that　Raven　is　alive。〃
　　　〃No。　I　thought　it　would　shock　you。　That　it　would　cause　you　great　distress。〃
　　　〃Shock；　no。　I　am　not　entirely　surprised。　Distressed；　yes。　It　opens　old　wounds　and　makes　them　more　painful。〃
　　　Puzzled；　I　watched　as　she　continued　to　prowl。
　　　〃Our　Raven。　He　never　grew　up。　Fearless　as　a　stone。　Utterly　without　the　handicap　of　a　conscience。　Tough。　Smart。　Hard。　Fierce。　All　those　things。　Yes？　Yes。　And　a　coward。〃
　　　〃What？　How　can　you？　。　。　。　〃
　　　〃He　runs　away。　There　were　machinations　around　the　Limper　which　pulled　his　wife　in；　years　ago。　Did　he　try　to　discover　the　truth　and　work　it　out？　He　killed　people　and　ran　away　with　the　Black　pany　to　kill　more　people。　He　abandoned　two　babies　without　a　word　of　good…bye。〃
　　　She　was　hot　now。　She　was　opening　the　doors　on　secrets　and　spilling　stuff　of　which　I　had　seen　only　the　vaguest　glimmering　reflections。　〃Do　not　defend　him。　I　have　had　the　power　to　investigate；　and　I　did；〃　she　signed。
　　　〃He　fled　the　Black　pany。　For　my　sake？　As　much　excuse　to　avoid　entanglement　as　reason。　Why　did　he　salvage　me　in　that　village？　Because　of　guilt　over　children　he　had　abandoned。　I　was　a　safe　child。　And　while　a　child　I　remained　a　safe　emotional　investment。　But　I　did　not　remain　a　child；　Croaker。　And　I　knew　no　other　man　in　all　those　years　in　hiding。
　　　〃I　should　have　known　better。　I　saw　how　he　pushed　people　away　if　they　tried　to　get　close　in　any　way　that　was　not　pletely　one…sided　and　under　his　control。　But　after　the　horrible　things　he　did　in　Juniper　I　thought　I　could　be　the　one　to　redeem　him。　On　the　road　south；　when　we　were　running　from　the　dark　danger　of　the　Lady　and　light　danger　of　the　pany；　I　betrayed　my　true　feelings。　I　opened　the　lid　on　a　chest　of　dreams　nurtured　from　a　time　before　I　was　old　enough　to　think　about　men。
　　　〃He　became　a　changed　man。　A　frightened　animal　caught　in　a　cage。　He　was　relieved　when　news　came　that　the　Lieutenant　had　appeared　with　some　of　the　pany。　It　was　not　but　a　matter　of　hours　before　he　was　'dead。'
　　　〃I　suspected　then。　I　think　a　part　of　me　always　knew。　And　that　is　why　I　am　not　so　devastated　now　as　you　want。　Yes。　I　know　you　know　I　cry　myself　to　sleep　sometimes。　I　cry　for　a　little　girl's　dreams。　I　cry　because　the　dreams　will　not　die；　though　I　am　powerless　to　make　them　e　true。　I　cry　because　the　one　thing　I　truly　want　I　cannot　have。　Do　you　understand？〃
　　　I　thought　about　Lady；　and　Lady's　situation；　and　nodded。　I　signed　nothing　back。
　　　〃I　am　going　to　cry　again。　Go　out。　Please。　Tell　Silent　to　e。〃
　　　I　did　not　have　to　look　for　him。　He　was　waiting　in　the　conference　room。　I　watched　him　go　inside；　wondering　if　I　was　seeing　things　or　seeing　things。
　　　She'd　certainly　given　me　something　to　think　about。
　　　
　　　Chapter　Forty…Three：　PICNIC
　　　
　　　Put　on　any　deadline　and　time　accelerates。　The　clockwork　of　the　universe　runs　off　an　overwound　mainspring。　Four　days　went　down　the　Jakes；　zip！　And　I　did　not　waste　much　time　sleeping。
　　　Ardath　and　I　translated。　And　translated。　And　translated。　She　read；　translating　aloud。　I　wrote　till　my　hands　cramped。　Occasionally　Silent　took　over　for　me。
　　　I　spot…checked　by　slipping　in　documents　already　done；　especially　those　both　Tracker　and　I　had　worked。　Not　once　did　I　catch　a　misinterpretation。
　　　That　fourth　morning　I　did　catch　something。　We　were　doing　one　of　those　lists。　This　soiree　must　have　been　so　big　that　if　held　today；　we'd　call　it　a　war。　Or　at　least　a　riot。　On　and　on。　So…and…so　of　such…and…su