rj.acrownofswords-第32部分

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ht　for　existence；　it　was　like　highwalking　blindfolded　over　a　pit　full　of　sharpened　stakes；　basking　in　so　pure　a　sense　of　life　that　thinking　of　giving　it　up　was　like　thinking　of　a　world　forever　in　shades　of　gray。　Not　madness。
　　　His　thoughts　whirled　through　his　dance　with　saidin；　slid　across　the　Void。　Annoura；　peering　at　him　with　that　Aes　Sedai　gaze。　What　was　Berelain　playing　at？　She　had　never　mentioned　an　Aes　Sedai　advisor。　And　those　other　Aes　Sedai　in　Cairhien。　Where　had　they　e　from；　and　why？　The　rebels　outside　the　city。　What　had　emboldened　them　to　move？　What　did　they　intend　now？　How　could　he　stop　them；　or　use　them？　He　was　being　good　at　using　people；　sometimes　he　made　himself　sick。　Sevanna　and　the　Shaido。　Rhuarc　already　had　scouts　on　the　way　to　Kinslayer's　Dagger；　but　at　best　they　could　only　find　out　where　and　when。　The　Wise　Ones　who　could　find　out　why；　would　not。　There　were　a　lot　of　why's　connected　to　Sevanna。　Elayne；　and　Aviendha。　No；　he　would　not　think　of　them。　No　thoughts　of　them。　None。　Perrin；　and　Faile。　A　fierce　woman；　falcon　by　name　and　nature。　Had　she　really　attached　herself　to　Colavaere　just　to　gather　evidence？　She　would　try　to　protect　Perrin　if　the　Dragon　Reborn　fell。　Protect　him　from　the　Dragon　Reborn；　should　she　decide　it　necessary；　her　loyalties　were　to　Perrin；　but　she　would　decide　for　herself　how　to　meet　them。　Faile　was　no　woman　to　do　meekly　as　her　husband　told　her；　if　such　a　woman　existed。　Golden　eyes；　staring　challenge　and　defiance。　Why　was　Perrin　so　vehement　about　the　Aes　Sedai？　He　had　been　a　long　time　with　Kiruna　and　her　panions　on　the　road　to　Dumai's　Wells。　Could　Aes　Sedai　really　do　with　him　what　everybody　feared？　Aes　Sedai。　He　shook　his　head　without　being　aware。　Never　again。　Never！　To　trust　was　to　be　betrayed；　trust　was　pain。
　　　He　tried　to　push　that　thought　away。　It　came　a　little　too　close　to　raving。　Nobody　could　live　without　giving　trust　somewhere。　Just　not　to　Aes　Sedai。　Mat；　Perrin。　If　he　could　not　trust　them。。。　Min。　Never　a　thought　of　not　trusting　Min。　He　wished　she　were　with　him；　instead　of　snugged　in　her　bed。　All　those　days　a　prisoner；　days　of　worry　…　more　for　him　than　herself；　if　he　knew　her　…　days　of　being　questioned　by　Galina　and　ill…treated　when　her　answers　failed　to　please　…　unconsciously　he　ground　his　teeth　…　all　of　that；　and　the　strain　of　being　Healed　on　top　of　it；　had　caught　up　with　her　at　last。　She　had　stayed　by　his　side　until　her　legs　gave　way；　and　he　had　to　carry　her　to　her　bedchamber；　with　her　sleepily　protesting　all　the　way　that　he　needed　her　with　him。　No　Min　here；　no　forting　presence　to　make　him　laugh；　make　him　forget　the　Dragon　Reborn。　Only　the　war　with　saidin；　and　the　whirlwind　of　his　thoughts；　and。。。
　　　They　must　be　done　away　with。　You　must　do　it。　Don't　you　remember　the　last　time？　That　place　by　the　wells　was　a　pittance。　Cities　burned　whole　out　of　the　earth　were　nothing。　We　destroyed　the　world！　DO　YOU　HEAR　ME？　THEY　HAVE　TO　BE　KILLED；　WIPED　FROM　THE　FACE。。。！
　　　Not　his；　that　voice　shouting　inside　his　skull。　Not　Rand　al'Thor。　Lews　Therin　Telamon；　more　than　three　thousand　years　dead。　And　talking　in　Rand　al'Thor's　head。　The　Power　often　drew　him　out　of　his　hiding　place　in　the　shadows　of　Rand's　mind。　Sometimes　Rand　wondered　how　that　could　be。　He　was　Lews　Therin　reborn；　the　Dragon　Reborn；　no　denying　that；　but　everybody　was　someone　reborn；　a　hundred　someones；　a　thousand；　more。　That　was　how　the　Pattern　worked；　everyone　died　and　was　reborn；　again　and　again　as　the　Wheel　turned；　forever　without　end。　But　nobody　else　talked　with　who　they　used　to　be。　Nobody　else　had　voices　in　their　heads。　Except　madmen。
　　　What　about　me；　Rand　thought。　One　hand　tightened　on　the　Dragon　Scepter；　the　other　on　his　sword　hilt。　What　about　you？　How　are　we　different　from　them？
　　　There　was　only　silence。　Often　enough；　Lews　Therin　did　not　answer。　Maybe　it　had　been　better　when　he　never　had。
　　　Are　you　real？　the　voice　said　at　last；　wonderingly。　That　denial　of　Rand's　existence　was　as　usual　as　refusing　to　answer。　Am　I？　I　spoke　to　someone。　I　think　I　did。　Inside　a　box。　A　chest。　Wheezing　laughter；　soft。　Am　I　dead；　or　mad；　or　both？　No　matter。　I　am　surely　damned。　I　am　damned；　and　this　is　the　Pit　of　Doom；　I　am。。。　d…damned；　wild；　that　laughing；　now；　and　t…this　…　is　the　P…Pit　of　…
　　　Rand　muted　the　voice　to　an　insect's　buzz；　something　he　had　learned　while　cramped　into　that　chest。　Alone；　in　the　dark。　Just　him；　and　the　pain；　and　the　thirst；　and　the　voice　of　a　long…dead　madman。　The　voice　had　been　a　fort　sometimes；　his　only　panion。　His　friend。　Something　flashed　in　his　mind。　Not　images；　just　flickers　of　color　and　motion。　For　some　reason　they　made　him　think　of　Mat；　and　Perrin。　The　flashes　had　begun　inside　the　chest；　them　and　a　thousand　more　hallucinations。　In　the　chest；　where　Galina　and　Erian　and　Katerine　and　the　rest　stuffed　him　every　day　after　he　was　beaten。　He　shook　his　head。　No。　He　was　not　in　the　chest　anymore。　His　fingers　ached；　clenched　around　scepter　and　hilt。　Only　memories　remained；　and　memories　had　no　force。　He　was　not　…
　　　〃If　we　must　make　this　journey　before　you　eat；　let　us　make　it。　The　evening　meal　is　long　finished　for　everyone　else。〃
　　　Rand　blinked；　and　Sulin　stepped　back　from　his　stare。　Sulin；　who　would　stand　eye…to…eye　with　a　leopard。　He　smoothed　his　face；　tried　to。　It　felt　a　mask；　somebody　else's　face。
　　　〃Are　you　well？〃　she　asked。
　　　〃I　was　thinking。〃　He　made　his　hands　unknot；　shrugged　inside　his　coat。　A　better…fitting　coat　than　the　one　he　had　worn　from　Dumai's　Wells；　dark　blue　and　plain。　Even　after　a　bath　he　did　not　feel　clean；　not　with　saidin　in　him。　〃Sometimes　I　think　too　much。〃
　　　Nearly　twenty　more　Maidens　clustered　at　one　end　of　the　windowless；　dark…paneled　room。　Eight　gilded　stand…lamps　against　the　walls；　mirrored　to　increase　the　light；　provided　illumination。　He　was　glad　of　that；　he　did　not　like　dark　places　anymore。　Three　of　the　Asha'man　were　there；　too；　the　Aiel　women　to　one　side　of　the　chamber；　the　Asha'man　to　the　other。　Jonan　Adley；　an　Altaran　despite　his　name；　stood　with　his　arms　folded；　working　eyebrows　like　black　caterpillars　in　deep　thought。　Perhaps　four　years　older　than　Rand；　he　was　intent　on　earning　the　silver　sword　of　the　Dedicated。　Eben　Hopwil　carried　more　flesh　on　his　bones　and　fewer　blotches　on　his　face　than　when　Rand　had　first　seen　him；　though　his　nose　and　ears　still　seemed　the　biggest　part　of　him。　He　fingered　the　sword　pin　on　his　collar　as　if　surprised　to　find　it　there。　Fedwin　Morr　would　have　worn　the　sword　as　well；　had　he　not　been　in　a　green　coat　suitable　for　a　well…to…do　merchant　or　a　minor　noble；　with　a　little　silver　embroidery　on　cuffs　and　lapels。　Of　an　age　with　Eben；　but　stockier　and　with　almost　no　blotches；　he　did　not　look　happy　that　his　black　coat　was　stuffed　into　the　leather　scrip　by　his　feet。　They　were　the　ones　Lews　Therin　had　been　raving　about；　them　and　all　the　rest　of　the　Asha'man。　Asha'man；　Aes　Sedai；　anyone　who　could　channel　set　him　off；　often　as　not。
　　　〃Think　too　much；　Rand　al'Thor？〃　Enaila　gripped　a　short　spear　in　one　hand　and　her　buckler　and　three　more　spears　in　the　other；　yet　she　sounded　as　if　she　were　shaking　a　finger　at　him。　The　Asha'man　frowned　at　her。　〃Your　trouble　is；　you　do　not　think　at　all。〃　Some　of　the　other　Maidens　laughed　softly；　but　she　was　not　making　a　joke。　Shorter　than　any　other　Maiden　there　by　at　least　a　hand；　she　had　hair　as　fiery　as　her　temper；　and　an　odd　view　of　her　relationship　to　him。　Her　flaxen…haired　friend　Somara；　who　stood　head　and　shoulders　taller；　nodded　agreement；　she　held　the　same　peculiar　view。
　　　He　ignored　the　ment；　but　could　not　stop　a　sigh。　Somara　and　Enaila　were　the　worst；　yet　none　of　the　Maidens　could　decide　whether　he　was　the　Car'a'carn；　to　be　obeyed；　or　the　only　child　of　a　Maiden　ever　known　to　the　Maidens；　to　be　cared　for　as　a　brother；　bullied　as　a　son　for　a　few。　Even　Jalani　there；　not　many　years　from　playing　with　dolls；　seemed　to　think　he　was　her　younger　brother；　while　Corana；　graying　and　nearly　as　leather…faced　as　Sulin；　treated　him　like　an　older。　At　least　they　only　did　that　around　themselves；　not　often　where　other　Aiel　could　hear。　When　it　counted；　he　would　be　the　Car'a'carn。　And　he　owed　it　to　them。　They　died　for　him。　He　owed　them　whatever　they　wanted。
　　　〃I　don't　intend　to　spend　all　night　here　while　you　lot　play　Kiss　the　Daisies；〃　he　said。　Sulin　gave　him　one　of　those　looks　…　in　dresses　or　in　cadin'sor；　women　tossed　those　looks　about　like　farmers　scattering　seed　…　but　the　Asha'man　abandoned　staring　at　the　Maidens　and　slung　the　straps　of　their　scrips　over　their　shoulders。　Push　them　hard；　he　had　told　Taim；　make　them　weapons；　and　Taim　had　delivered。　A　good　weapon　moved　as　the　man　who　held　it　directed。　If　only　he　could　be　sure　it　would　not　turn　in　his　hand。
　　　He　had　three　destinations　tonight；　but　one　of　those　the　Maidens　could　not　be　allowed　to　know。　No　one　but　himself。　Which　of　the　other　two　came　first　he　had　decided　earlier；　yet　he　hesitated。　The　journey　would　be　known　soon　enough；　yet　there　were　reasons　to　keep　it　secret　as　he　could。
　　　When　the　gateway　opened　there　in　the　middle　of　the　room；　a　sweetish　smell　familiar　to　any　farmer　drifted　through。　Horse　dung。　Wrinkling　her　nose　as　she　veiled；　Sulin　led　half　the　Maidens　through　at　a　trot。　After　a　glance　to　him；　the　Asha'man　followed；　drawing　deeply　on　the　True　Source　as　they　went；　as　much　as　they　could　hold。
　　　Because　of　that；　he　could　feel　their　strength　as　they　passed　him。　Without　that；　it　took　some　effort　to　tell　a　man　could　channel；　longer　still　unless　he　cooperated。　None　were　near　as　strong　as　he。　Not　yet；　anyway；　there　was　no　saying　how　strong　a　man　would　be　until　he　stopped　growing　stronger。　Fedwin　stood　highest　of　the　three；　but　he　had　what　Taim　called　a　bar。　Fedwin　did　not　really　believe　he　could　affect　anything　at　a　distance　with　the　Power。　The　result　was　that　at　fifty　paces　his　ability　began　to　fade；　and　at　a　hundred　he　could　not　weave　even　a　thread　of　saidin。　Men　gained　strength　faster　than　women；　it　seemed；　and　a　good　thing。　These　three　were　all　strong　enough　to　make　a　gateway　of　useful　size；　if　just　barely　in　Jonan's　case。　Every　Asha'man　was　that　he　had　kept。
　　　Kill　them　before　it　is　too　late；　before　they　go　mad；　Lews　Therin　whispered。　Kill　them；　hunt　down　Sammael；　and　Demandred；　and　all　the　Forsaken。　I　have　to　kill　the