rj.eyeoftheworld-第67部分

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her　as　a　child。　Then　Moiraine　had　suddenly　blinked　as　if　surprised　and　out　of　a　clear　sky　asked　。。。
　　　　　　　She　licked　lips　gone　abruptly　dry。　They　were　both　looking　at　her；　the　Warder's　face　as　unreadable　as　a　stone；　the　Aes　Sedai's　sympathetic　yet　intent。　Nynaeve　shook　her　head。　〃No！　No；　it's　impossible。　I　would　know。　You　are　just　trying　to　trick　me；　and　it　will　not　work。〃
　　　　　　　〃Of　course　you　do　not　know；〃　Moiraine　said　soothingly。　〃Why　should　you　even　suspect？　All　of　your　life　you　have　heard　about　listening　to　the　wind。　In　any　case；　you　would　as　soon　announce　to　all　of　Emond's　Field　that　you　were　a　Darkfriend　as　admit　to　yourself；　even　in　the　deepest　recesses　of　your　mind；　that　you　have　anything　to　do　with　the　One　Power；　or　the　dreaded　Aes　Sedai。〃　Amusement　flitted　across　Moiraine's　face。　〃But　I　can　tell　you　how　it　began。〃
　　　　　　　〃I　don't　want　to　hear　any　more　of　your　lies；〃　she　said；　but　the　Aes　Sedai　went　right　on。
　　　　　　　〃Perhaps　as　much　as　eight　or　ten　years　ago　…　the　age　varies；　but　always　es　young　…　there　was　something　you　wanted　more　than　anything　else　in　the　world；　something　you　needed。　And　you　got　it。　A　branch　suddenly　falling　where　you　could　pull　yourself　out　of　a　pond　instead　of　drowning。　A　friend；　or　a　pet；　getting　well　when　everyone　thought　they　would　die。〃You　felt　nothing　special　at　the　time；　but　a　week　or　ten　days　later　you　had　your　first　reaction　to　touching　the　True　Source。　Perhaps　fever　and　chills　that　came　on　suddenly　and　put　you　to　bed；　then　disappeared　after　only　a　few　hours。　None　of　the　reactions；　and　they　vary；　lasts　more　than　a　few　hours。　Headaches　and　numbness　and　exhilaration　all　mixed　together；　and　you　taking　foolish　chances　or　acting　giddy。　A　spell　of　dizziness；　when　you　tripped　and　stumbled　whenever　you　tried　to　move；　when　you　could　not　say　a　sentence　without　your　tongue　mangling　half　the　words。　There　are　others。　Do　you　remember？〃
　　　　　　　Nynaeve　sat　down　hard　on　the　ground；　her　legs　would　not　hold　her　up。　She　remembered；　but　she　shook　her　head　anyway。　It　had　to　be　coincidence。　Or　else　Moiraine　had　asked　more　questions　in　Emond's　Field　than　she　had　thought。　The　Aes　Sedai　had　asked　a　great　many　questions。　It　had　to　be　that。　Lan　offered　a　hand；　but　she　did　not　even　see　it。
　　　　　　　〃I　will　go　further；〃　Moiraine　said　when　Nynaeve　kept　silent。　〃You　used　the　Power　to　Heal　either　Perrin　or　Egwene　at　some　time。　An　affinity　develops。　You　can　sense　the　presence　of　someone　you　have　Healed。　In　Baerlon　you　came　straight　to　the　Stag　and　Lion；　though　it　was　not　the　nearest　inn　to　any　gate　by　which　you　could　have　entered。　Of　the　people　from　Emond's　Field；　only　Perrin　and　Egwene　were　at　the　inn　when　you　arrived。　Was　it　Perrin；　or　Egwene？　Or　both？〃
　　　　　　　〃Egwene；〃　Nynaeve　mumbled。　She　had　always　taken　it　for　granted　that　she　could　sometimes　tell　who　was　approaching　her　even　when　she　could　not　see　them；　not　until　now　had　she　realized　that　it　was　always　someone　on　whom　her　cures　had　worked　almost　miraculously　well。　And　she　had　always　known　when　the　medicine　would　work　beyond　expectations；　always　felt　the　certainty　when　she　said　the　crops　would　be　especially　good；　or　that　the　rains　would　e　early　or　late。　That　was　the　way　she　thought　it　was　supposed　to　be。　Not　all　Wisdoms　could　listen　to　the　wind；　but　the　best　could。　That　was　what　Mistress　Barran　always　said；　just　as　she　said　Nynaeve　would　be　one　of　the　best。
　　　　　　　〃She　had　breakbone　fever。〃　She　kept　her　head　down　and　spoke　to　the　ground。　〃I　was　still　apprentice　to　Mistress　Barran；　and　she　set　me　to　watch　Egwene。　I　was　young；　and　I　didn't　know　the　Wisdom　had　everything　well　in　hand。　It's　terrible　to　watch；　breakbone　fever。　The　child　was　soaked　with　sweat；　groaning　and　twisting　until　I　could　not　understand　why　I　didn't　hear　her　bones　snapping。　Mistress　Barran　had　told　me　the　fever　would　break　in　another　day；　two　at　the　most；　but　I　thought　she　was　doing　me　a　kindness。　I　thought　Egwene　was　dying。　I　used　to　look　after　her　sometimes　when　she　was　a　toddler　…　when　her　mother　was　busy　…　and　I　started　crying　because　I　was　going　to　have　to　watch　her　die。　When　Mistress　Barran　came　back　an　hour　later；　the　fever　had　broken。　She　was　surprised；　but　she　made　over　me　more　than　Egwene。　I　always　thought　she　believed　I　had　given　the　child　something　and　was　too　frightened　to　admit　it。　I　always　thought　she　was　trying　to　fort　me；　to　make　sure　I　knew　I　hadn't　hurt　Egwene。　A　week　later　I　fell　on　the　floor　in　her　sitting　room；　shaking　and　burning　up　by　turns。　She　bundled　me　into　bed；　but　by　suppertime　it　was　gone。〃
　　　　　　　She　dropped　her　head　in　her　hands　as　she　finished　speaking。　The　Aes　Sedai　chose　a　good　example；　she　thought；　Light　burn　her！　Using　the　Power　like　an　Aes　Sedai。　A　filthy；　Darkfriend　Aes　Sedai！
　　　　　　　〃You　were　very　lucky；〃　Moiraine　said；　and　Nynaeve　sat　erect。　Lan　stepped　back　as　if　what　they　talked　about　was　none　of　his　business；　and　busied　himself　with　Mandarb's　saddle；　not　even　glancing　at　them。
　　　　　　　〃Lucky！〃
　　　　　　　〃You　have　managed　a　crude　control　over　the　Power；　even　if　touching　the　True　Source　still　es　at　random。　If　you　had　not；　it　would　have　killed　you　eventually。　As　it　will；　in　all　probability；　kill　Egwene　if　you　manage　to　stop　her　from　going　to　Tar　Valon。　〃
　　　　　　　〃If　I　learned　to　control　it　。。。〃　Nynaeve　swallowed　hard。　It　was　like　admitting　all　over　again　that　she　could　do　what　the　Aes　Sedai　said。　〃If　I　learned　to　control　it；　so　can　she。　There　is　no　need　for　her　to　go　to　Tar　Valon；　and　get　mixed　up　in　your　intrigues。〃
　　　　　　　Moiraine　shook　her　head　slowly。　〃Aes　Sedai　search　for　girls　who　can　touch　the　True　Source　unguided　just　as　assiduously　as　we　search　for　men　who　can　do　so。　It　is　not　a　desire　to　increase　our　numbers　…　or　at　least；　not　only　that　…　nor　is　it　a　fear　that　those　women　will　misuse　the　Power。　The　rough　control　of　the　Power　they　may　gain；　if　the　Light　shines　on　them；　is　rarely　enough　to　do　any　great　damage；　especially　since　the　actual　touching　of　the　Source　is　beyond　their　control　without　a　teacher；　and　es　only　randomly。　And；　of　course；　they　do　not　suffer　the　madness　that　drives　men　to　evil　or　twisted　things。　We　want　to　save　their　lives。　The　lives　of　those　who　never　do　manage　any　control　at　all。〃
　　　　　　　〃The　fever　and　chills　I　had　couldn't　kill　anyone；〃　Nynaeve　insisted。　〃Not　in　three　or　four　hours。　I　had　the　other　things；　too；　and　they　couldn't　kill　anybody；　either。　And　they　stopped　after　a　few　months。　What　about　that？〃
　　　　　　　〃Those　were　only　reactions；〃　Moiraine　said　patiently。　〃Each　time；　the　reaction　es　closer　to　the　actual　touching　of　the　Source；　until　the　two　happen　almost　together。　After　that　there　are　no　more　reactions　that　can　be　seen；　but　it　is　as　if　a　clock　has　begun　ticking。　A　year。　Two　years。　I　know　one　woman　who　lasted　five　years。　Of　four　who　have　the　inborn　ability　that　you　and　Egwene　have；　three　die　if　we　do　not　find　them　and　train　them。　It　is　not　as　horrible　a　death　as　the　men　die；　but　neither　is　it　pretty；　if　any　death　can　be　called　so。　Convulsions。　Screaming。　It　takes　days；　and　once　it　begins　there　is　nothing　that　can　be　done　to　stop　it；　not　by　all　the　Aes　Sedai　in　Tar　Valon　together。〃
　　　　　　　〃You're　lying。　All　those　questions　you　asked　in　Emond's　Field。　You　found　out　about　Egwene's　fever　breaking；　about　my　fever　and　chills；　all　of　it。　You　made　all　of　this　up。〃
　　　　　　　〃You　know　I　did　not；〃　Moiraine　said　gently。
　　　　　　　Reluctantly；　more　reluctantly　than　she　had　ever　done　anything　in　her　life；　Nynaeve　nodded。　It　had　been　a　last　stubborn　effort　to　deny　what　was　plain；　and　there　was　never　any　good　in　that；　however　unpleasant　it　might　be。　Mistress　Barran's　first　apprentice　had　died　the　way　the　Aes　Sedai　said　when　Nynaeve　was　still　playing　with　dolls；　and　there　had　been　a　young　woman　in　Deven　Ride　only　a　few　years　ago。　She　had　been　a　Wisdom's　apprentice；　too；　one　who　could　listen　to　the　wind。
　　　　　　　〃You　have　great　potential；　I　think；〃　Moiraine　continued。　〃With　training　you　might　bee　even　more　powerful　than　Egwene；　and　I　believe　she　can　bee　one　of　the　most　powerful　Aes　Sedai　we　have　seen　in　centuries。〃
　　　　　　　Nynaeve　pushed　herself　back　from　the　Aes　Sedai　as　she　would　have　from　a　viper。　〃No！　I'll　have　nothing　to　do　with　…〃　With　what？　Myself？　She　slumped；　and　her　voice　became　hesitant。　〃I　would　ask　you　not　to　tell　anyone　about　this。　Please？〃　The　word　nearly　stuck　in　her　throat。　She　would　rather　Trollocs　had　appeared　than　she　had　been　forced　to　say　please　to　this　woman。　But　Moiraine　only　nodded　assent；　and　some　of　her　spirit　returned。　〃None　of　this　explains　what　you　want　with　Rand；　and　Mat；　and　Perrin。〃
　　　　　　　〃The　Dark　One　wants　them；〃　Moiraine　replied。　〃If　the　Dark　One　wants　a　thing；　I　oppose　it。　Can　there　be　a　simpler　reason；　or　a　better？〃　She　finished　her　tea；　watching　Nynaeve　over　the　rim　of　her　cup。　〃Lan；　we　must　be　going。　South；　I　think。　I　fear　the　Wisdom　will　not　be　acpanying　us。〃
　　　　　　　Nynaeve's　mouth　tightened　at　the　way　the　Aes　Sedai　said　〃Wisdom〃；　it　seemed　to　suggest　she　was　turning　her　back　on　great　things　in　favor　of　something　petty。　She　doesn't　want　me　along。　She's　trying　to　put　my　back　up　so　I'll　go　back　home　and　leave　them　alone　with　her。　〃Oh；　yes；　I　will　be　going　with　you。　You　cannot　keep　me　from　it。〃
　　　　　　　〃No　one　will　try　to　keep　you　from　it；〃　Lan　said　as　he　rejoined　them。　He　emptied　the　tea　kettle　over　the　fire　and　stirred　the　ashes　with　a　stick。　〃A　part　of　the　Pattern？〃　he　said　to　Moiraine。
　　　　　　　〃Perhaps　so；〃　she　replied　thoughtfully。　〃I　should　have　spoken　to　Min　again。〃
　　　　　　　〃You　see；　Nynaeve；　you　are　wele　to　e。〃　There　was　a　hesitation　in　the　way　Lan　said　her　name；　a　hint　of　an　unspoken　〃Sedai〃　after　it。
　　　　　　　Nynaeve　bristled；　taking　it　for　mockery；　and　bristled；　too；　at　the　way　they　spoke　of　things　in　front　of　her　…　things　she　knew　nothing　about　…　without　the　courtesy　of　an　explanation；　but　she　would　not　give　them　the　satisfaction　of　asking。
　　　　　　　The　Warder　went　on　preparing　for　departure；　his　economical　motions　so　sure　and　swift　that　he　was　quickly　done；　saddlebags；　blankets；　and　all　fastened　behind　the　saddles　of　Mandarb　and　Aldieb。
　　　　　　　〃I　will　fetch　your　horse；〃　he　told　Nynaeve　as　he　finished　with　the　last　saddle　tie。
　　　　　　　He　started　up　the　riverbank；　and　she　allowed　herself　a　small　smile。　After　the　way　she　had　watched　him　undiscovered；　he　was　going　to　try　to　find　her　horse　unaided。