da.therestaurantattheendoftheuniverse-第14部分

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　　〃Funny　old　thing；　life；〃　said　the　second　iguana。
　　〃It's　what　you　make　of　it；〃　said　the　first　and　they　lapsed　back　into　silence。　They　were　waiting　for　the　greatest　show　in　the　Universe。
　　〃Hey；　Zaphod；〃　said　Ford；　grabbing　for　his　arm　and；　on　account　of　the　third　Pan　Galactic　Gargle　Blaster；　missing。　He　pointed　a　swaying　finger。
　　〃There's　an　old　mate　of　mine；〃　he　said；　〃Hotblack　Desiato！　See　the　man　at　the　platinum　table　with　the　platinum　suit　on？〃
　　Zaphod　tried　to　follow　Ford's　finger　with　his　eyes　but　it　made　him　feel　dizzy。　Finally　he　saw。
　　〃Oh　yeah；〃　he　said；　then　recognition　came　a　moment　later。　〃Hey；〃　he　said；　〃did　that　guy　ever　make　it　megabig！　Wow；　bigger　than　the　biggest　thing　ever。　Other　than　me。〃
　　〃Who's　he　supposed　to　be？〃　asked　Trillian。
　　〃Hotblack　Desiato？〃　said　Zaphod　in　astonishment；　〃you　don't　know？　You　never　heard　of　Disaster　Area？〃
　　〃No；〃　said　Trillian；　who　hadn't。
　　〃The　biggest；〃　said　Ford；　〃loudest。。。〃
　　〃Richest。。。〃　suggested　Zaphod。
　　〃。。。　rock　band　in　the　history　of。。。〃　he　searched　for　the　word。
　　〃。。。　history　itself；〃　said　Zaphod。
　　〃No；〃　said　Trillian。
　　〃Zowee；〃　said　Zaphod；　〃here　we　are　at　the　End　of　the　Universe　and　you　haven't　even　lived　yet。　Did　you　miss　out。〃
　　He　led　her　off　to　where　the　waiter　had　been　waiting　all　this　time　at　the　table。　Arthur　followed　them　feeling　very　lost　and　alone。
　　Ford　waded　off　through　the　throng　to　renew　an　old　acquaintance。
　　〃Hey；　er；　Hotblack；〃　he　called　out；　〃how　you　doing？　Great　to　see　you　big　boy；　how's　the　noise？　You're　looking　great；　really　very；　very　fat　and　unwell。　Amazing。〃　He　slapped　the　man　on　the　back　and　was　mildly　surprised　that　it　seemed　to　elicit　no　response。　The　Pan　Galactic　Gargle　Blasters　swirling　round　inside　him　told　him　to　plunge　on　regardless。
　　〃Remember　the　old　days？〃　he　said；　〃We　used　to　hang　out；　right？　The　Bistro　Illegal；　remember？　Slim's　Throat　Emporium？　The　Evildrome　Boozarama；　great　days　eh？〃
　　Hotblack　Desiato　offered　no　opinion　as　to　whether　they　were　great　days　or　not。　Ford　was　not　perturbed。
　　〃And　when　we　were　hungry　we'd　pose　as　public　health　inspectors；　you　remember　that？　And　go　around　confiscating　meals　and　drinks　right？　Till　we　got　food　poisoning。　Oh；　and　then　there　were　the　long　nights　of　talking　and　drinking　in　those　smelly　rooms　above　the　Cafe　Lou　in　Gretchen　Town；　New　Betel；　and　you　were　always　in　the　next　room　trying　to　write　songs　on　your　ajuitar　and　we　all　hated　them。　And　you　said　you　didn't　care；　and　we　said　we　did　because　we　hated　them　so　much。〃　Ford's　eyes　were　beginning　to　mist　over。
　　〃And　you　said　you　didn't　want　to　be　a　star；〃　he　continued；　wallowing　in　nostalgia；　〃because　you　despised　the　star　system。　And　we　said；　Hadra　and　Sulijoo　and　me；　that　we　didn't　think　you　had　the　option。　And　what　do　you　do　now？　You　buy　star　systems！〃
　　He　turned　and　solicited　the　attention　of　those　at　nearby　tables。
　　〃Here；〃　he　said；　〃is　a　man　who　buys　star　systems！〃
　　Hotblack　Desiato　made　no　attempt　either　to　confirm　or　deny　this　fact；　and　the　attention　of　the　temporary　audience　waned　rapidly。
　　〃I　think　someone's　drunk；〃　muttered　a　purple　bush…like　being　into　his　wine　glass。
　　Ford　staggered　slightly；　and　sat　down　heavily　on　the　chair　facing　Hotblack　Desiato。
　　〃What's　that　number　you　do？〃　he　said；　unwisely　grabbing　at　a　bottle　for　support　and　tipping　it　over　…　into　a　nearby　glass　as　it　happened。　Not　to　waste　a　happy　accident；　he　drained　the　glass。
　　〃That　really　huge　number；〃　he　continued；　〃how　does　it　go？　'Bwarm！　Bwarm！　Baderr！！'　something；　and　in　the　stage　act　you　do　it　ends　up　with　this　ship　crashing　right　into　the　sun；　and　you　actually　do　it！〃
　　Ford　crashed　his　fist　into　his　other　hand　to　illustrate　this　feat　graphically。　He　knocked　the　bottle　over　again。
　　〃Ship！　Sun！　Wham　bang！〃　he　cried。　〃I　mean　forget　lasers　and　stuff；　you　guys　are　into　solar　flares　and　real　sunburn！　Oh；　and　terrible　songs。〃
　　His　eyes　followed　the　stream　of　liquid　glugging　out　of　the　bottle　on　to　the　table。　Something　ought　to　be　done　about　it；　he　thought。
　　〃Hey；　you　want　a　drink？〃　he　said。　It　began　to　sink　into　his　squelching　mind　that　something　was　missing　from　this　reunion；　and　that　the　missing　something　was　in　some　way　connected　with　the　fact　that　the　fat　man　sitting　opposite　him　in　the　platinum　suit　and　the　silvery　trilby　had　not　yet　said　〃Hi；　Ford〃　or　〃Great　to　see　you　after　all　this　time；〃　or　in　fact　anything　at　all。　More　to　the　point　he　had　not　yet　even　moved。
　　〃Hotblack？〃　said　Ford。
　　A　large　meaty　hand　landed　on　his　shoulder　from　behind　and　pushed　him　aside。　He　slid　gracelessly　off　his　seat　and　peered　upwards　to　see　if　he　could　spot　the　owner　of　this　discourteous　hand。　The　owner　was　not　hard　to　spot；　on　account　of　his　being　something　of　the　order　of　seven　feet　tall　and　not　slightly　built　with　it。　In　fact　he　was　built　the　way　one　builds　leather　sofas；　shiny；　lumpy　and　with　lots　of　solid　stuffing。　The　suit　into　which　the　man's　body　had　been　stuffed　looked　as　if　it's　only　purpose　in　life　was　to　demonstrate　how　difficult　it　was　to　get　this　sort　of　body　into　a　suit。　The　face　had　the　texture　of　an　orange　and　the　colour　of　an　apple；　but　there　the　resemblance　to　anything　sweet　ended。
　　〃Kid。。。〃　said　a　voice　which　emerged　from　the　man's　mouth　as　if　it　had　been　having　a　really　rough　time　down　in　his　chest。
　　〃Er；　yeah？〃　said　Ford　conversationally。　He　staggered　back　to　his　feet　again　and　was　disappointed　that　the　top　of　his　head　didn't　e　further　up　the　man's　body。
　　〃Beat　it；〃　said　the　man。　
　　〃Oh　yeah？〃　said　Ford；　wondering　how　wise　he　was　being；　〃and　who　are　you？〃
　　The　man　considered　this　for　a　moment。　He　wasn't　used　to　being　asked　this　sort　of　question。　Nevertheless；　after　a　while　he　came　up　with　an　answer。
　　〃I'm　the　guy　who's　telling　you　to　beat　it；〃　he　said；　〃before　you　get　it　beaten　for　you。〃
　　〃Now　listen；〃　said　Ford　nervously　…　he　wished　his　head　would　stop　spinning；　settle　down　and　get　to　grips　with　the　situation　…　〃Now　listen；〃　he　continued；　〃I　am　one　of　Hotblack's　oldest　friends　and。。。〃
　　He　glanced　at　Hotblack　Desiato；　who　still　hadn't　moved　so　much　as　an　eyelash。
　　〃。。。　and。。。〃　said　Ford　again；　wondering　what　would　be　a　good　word　to　say　after　〃and〃。
　　The　large　man　came　up　with　a　whole　sentence　to　go　after　〃and〃。　He　said　it。
　　〃And　I　am　Mr。　Desiato's　bodyguard；〃　it　went；　〃and　I　am　responsible　for　his　body；　and　I　am　not　responsible　for　yours；　so　take　it　away　before　it　gets　damaged。〃
　　〃Now　wait　a　minute；〃　said　Ford。
　　〃No　minutes！〃　boomed　the　bodyguard；　〃no　waiting！　Mr。　Desiato　speaks　to　no　one！〃
　　〃Well　perhaps　you'd　let　him　say　what　he　thinks　about　the　matter　himself；〃　said　Ford。
　　〃He　speaks　to　no　one！〃　bellowed　the　bodyguard。
　　Ford　glanced　anxiously　at　Hotblack　again　and　was　forced　to　admit　to　himself　that　the　bodyguard　seemed　to　have　the　facts　on　his　side。　There　was　still　not　the　slightest　sign　of　movement；　let　alone　keen　interest　in　Ford's　welfare。
　　〃Why？〃　said　Ford；　〃What's　the　matter　with　him？〃
　　The　bodyguard　told　him。
　　
　　
　　　Chapter　17
　　
　　The　Hitch　Hiker's　Guide　to　the　Galaxy　notes　that　Disaster　Area；　a　plutonium　rock　band　from　the　Gagrakacka　Mind　Zones；　are　generally　held　to　be　not　only　the　loudest　rock　band　in　the　Galaxy；　but　in　fact　the　loudest　noise　of　any　kind　at　all。　Regular　concert　goers　judge　that　the　best　sound　balance　is　usually　to　be　heard　from　within　large　concrete　bunkers　some　thirty…seven　miles　from　the　stage；　whilst　the　musicians　themselves　play　their　instruments　by　remote　control　from　within　a　heavily　insulated　spaceship　which　stays　in　orbit　around　the　planet　…　or　more　frequently　around　a　pletely　different　planet。
　　Their　songs　are　on　the　whole　very　simple　and　mostly　follow　the　familiar　theme　of　boy…being　meets　girl…being　beneath　a　silvery　moon；　which　then　explodes　for　no　adequately　explored　reason。
　　Many　worlds　have　now　banned　their　act　altogether；　sometimes　for　artistic　reasons；　but　most　monly　because　the　band's　public　address　system　contravenes　local　strategic　arms　limitations　treaties。
　　This　has　not；　however；　stopped　their　earnings　from　pushing　back　the　boundaries　of　pure　hypermathematics；　and　their　chief　research　accountant　has　recently　been　appointed　Professor　of　Neomathematics　at　the　University　of　Maximegalon；　in　recognition　of　both　his　General　and　his　Special　Theories　of　Disaster　Area　Tax　Returns；　in　which　he　proves　that　the　whole　fabric　of　the　space…time　continuum　is　not　merely　curved；　it　is　in　fact　totally　bent。
　　Ford　staggered　back　to　the　table　where　Zaphod；　Arthur　and　Trillian　were　sitting　waiting　for　the　fun　to　begin。
　　〃Gotta　have　some　food；〃　said　Ford。
　　〃Hi；　Ford；〃　said　Zaphod；　〃you　speak　to　the　big　noise　boy？〃
　　Ford　waggled　his　head　nonmittally。
　　〃Hotblack？　I　sort　of　spoke　to　him；　yeah。〃
　　〃What'd　he　say？〃
　　〃Well；　not　a　lot　really。　He's。。。　er。。。〃
　　〃Yeah？〃
　　〃He's　spending　a　year　dead　for　tax　reasons。　I've　got　to　sit　down。〃
　　He　sat　down。
　　The　waiter　approached。
　　〃Would　you　like　to　see　the　menu？〃　he　said；　〃or　would　you　like　to　meet　the　Dish　of　the　Day？〃
　　〃Huh？〃　said　Ford。
　　〃Huh？〃　said　Arthur。
　　〃Huh？〃　said　Trillian。
　　〃That's　cool；〃　said　Zaphod；　〃we'll　meet　the　meat。〃
　　In　a　small　room　in　one　of　the　arms　of　the　Restaurant　plex　a　tall；　thin；　gangling　figure　pulled　aside　a　curtain　and　oblivion　looked　him　in　the　face。
　　It　was　not　a　pretty　face；　perhaps　because　oblivion　had　looked　him　in　it　so　many　times。　It　was　too　long　for　a　start；　the　eyes　too　sunken　and　too　hooded；　the　cheeks　too　hollow；　his　lips　were　too　thin　and　too　long；　and　when　they　parted　his　teeth　looked　too　much　like　a　recently　polished　bay　window。　The　hands　that　held　the　curtain　were　long　and　thin　too：　they　were　also　cold。　They　lay　lightly　along　the　folds　of　the　curtain　and　gave　the　impression　that　if　he　didn't　watch　them　like　a　hawk　they　would　crawl　away　of　their　own　accord　and　do　something　unspeakable　in　a　corner。
　　He　let　the　curtain　drop　and　the　terrible　light　that　had　played　on　his　features　went　off　to　play　somewhere　more　healthy。　He　prowled　around　his　small　chamber　like　a　mantis　contemplating　an　evening's　preying；　finally　settling　on　a　rickety　chair　by　a　trestle　table；　where　he　leafed　throug