da.therestaurantattheendoftheuniverse-第30部分

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　　〃But　we　have　also；〃　continued　the　Management　Consultant；　〃run　into　a　small　inflation　problem　on　account　of　the　high　level　of　leaf　availability；　which　means　that；　I　gather；　the　current　going　rate　has　something　like　three　deciduous　forests　buying　one　ship's　peanut。〃
　　Murmurs　of　alarm　came　from　the　crowd。　The　Management　Consultant　waved　them　down。
　　〃So　in　order　to　obviate　this　problem；〃　he　continued；　〃and　effectively　revaluate　the　leaf；　we　are　about　to　embark　on　a　massive　defoliation　campaign；　and。。。　er；　burn　down　all　the　forests。　I　think　you'll　all　agree　that's　a　sensible　move　under　the　circumstances。〃
　　The　crowd　seemed　a　little　uncertain　about　this　for　a　second　or　two　until　someone　pointed　out　how　much　this　would　increase　the　value　of　the　leaves　in　their　pockets　whereupon　they　let　out　whoops　of　delight　and　gave　the　Management　Consultant　a　standing　ovation。　The　accountants　amongst　them　looked　forward　to　a　profitable　Autumn。
　　〃You're　all　mad；〃　explained　Ford　Prefect。
　　〃You're　absolutely　barmy；〃　he　suggested。
　　〃You're　a　bunch　of　raving　nutters；〃　he　opined。
　　The　tide　of　opinion　started　to　turn　against　him。　What　had　started　out　as　excellent　entertainment　had　now；　in　the　crowd's　view；　deteriorated　into　mere　abuse；　and　since　this　abuse　was　in　the　main　directed　at　them　they　wearied　of　it。
　　Sensing　this　shift　in　the　wind；　the　marketing　girl　turned　on　him。
　　〃Is　it　perhaps　in　order；〃　she　demanded；　〃to　inquire　what　you've　been　doing　all　these　months　then？　You　and　that　other　interloper　have　been　missing　since　the　day　we　arrived。〃
　　〃We've　been　on　a　journey；〃　said　Ford；　〃We　went　to　try　and　find　out　something　about　this　planet。〃
　　〃Oh；〃　said　the　girl　archly；　〃doesn't　sound　very　productive　to　me。〃
　　〃No？　Well　have　I　got　news　for　you；　my　love。　We　have　discovered　this　planet's　future。〃
　　Ford　waited　for　this　statement　to　have　its　effect。　It　didn't　have　any。　They　didn't　know　what　he　was　talking　about。
　　He　continued。
　　〃It　doesn't　matter　a　pair　of　fetid　dingo's　kidneys　what　you　all　choose　to　do　from　now　on。　Burn　down　the　forests；　anything；　it　won't　make　a　scrap　of　difference。　Your　future　history　has　already　happened。　Two　million　years　you've　got　and　that's　it。　At　the　end　of　that　time　your　race　will　be　dead；　gone　and　good　riddance　to　you。　Remember　that；　two　million　years！〃
　　The　crowd　muttered　to　itself　in　annoyance。　People　as　rich　as　they　had　suddenly　bee　shouldn't　be　obliged　to　listen　to　this　sort　of　gibberish。　Perhaps　they　could　tip　the　fellow　a　leaf　or　two　and　he　would　go　away。
　　They　didn't　need　to　bother。　Ford　was　already　stalking　out　of　the　clearing；　pausing　only　to　shake　his　head　at　Number　Two　who　was　already　firing　his　Kill…O…Zap　gun　into　some　neighbouring　trees。
　　He　turned　back　once。
　　〃Two　million　years！〃　he　said　and　laughed。
　　〃Well；〃　said　the　Captain　with　a　soothing　smile；　〃still　time　for　a　few　more　baths。　Could　someone　pass　me　the　sponge？　I　just　dropped　it　over　the　side。〃
　　
　　
　　　Chapter　33
　　
　　A　mile　or　so　away　through　the　wood；　Arthur　Dent　was　too　busily　engrossed　with　what　he　was　doing　to　hear　Ford　Prefect　approach。
　　What　he　was　doing　was　rather　curious；　and　this　is　what　it　was：　on　a　wide　flat　piece　of　rock　he　had　scratched　out　the　shape　of　a　large　square；　subdivided　into　one　hundred　and　sixty…nine　smaller　squares；　thirteen　to　a　side。
　　Furthermore　he　had　collected　together　a　pile　of　smallish　flattish　stones　and　scratched　the　shape　of　a　letter　on　to　each。　Sitting　morosely　round　the　rock　were　a　couple　of　the　surviving　local　native　men　whom　Arthur　Dent　was　trying　to　introduce　the　curious　concept　embodied　in　these　stones。
　　So　far　they　had　not　done　well。　They　had　attempted　to　eat　some　of　them；　bury　others　and　throw　the　rest　of　them　away。　Arthur　had　finally　encouraged　one　of　them　to　lay　a　couple　of　stones　on　the　board　he　had　scratched　out；　which　was　not　even　as　far　as　he'd　managed　to　get　the　day　before。　Along　with　the　rapid　deterioration　in　the　morale　of　these　creatures；　there　seemed　to　be　a　corresponding　deterioration　in　their　actual　intelligence。
　　In　an　attempt　to　egg　them　along；　Arthur　set　out　a　number　of　letters　on　the　board　himself；　and　then　tried　to　encourage　the　natives　to　add　some　more　themselves。
　　It　was　not　going　well。
　　Ford　watched　quietly　from　beside　a　nearby　tree。
　　〃No；〃　said　Arthur　to　one　of　the　natives　who　had　just　shuffled　some　of　the　letters　round　in　a　fit　of　abysmal　dejection；　〃Q　scores　ten　you　see；　and　it's　on　a　triple　word　score；　so。。。　look；　I've　explained　the　rules　to　you。。。　no　no；　look　please；　put　down　that　jawbone。。。　alright；　we'll　start　again。　And　try　to　concentrate　this　time。〃
　　Ford　leaned　his　elbow　against　the　tree　and　his　hand　against　his　head。
　　〃What　are　you　doing；　Arthur？〃　he　asked　quietly。
　　Arthur　looked　up　with　a　start。　He　suddenly　had　a　feeling　that　all　this　might　look　slightly　foolish。　All　he　knew　was　that　it　had　worked　like　a　dream　on　him　when　he　was　a　child。　But　things　were　different　then；　or　rather　would　be。
　　〃I'm　trying　to　teach　the　cavemen　to　play　Scrabble；〃　he　said。
　　〃They're　not　cavemen；〃　said　Ford。
　　〃They　look　like　cavemen。〃
　　Ford　let　it　pass。
　　〃I　see；〃　he　said。
　　〃It's　uphill　work；〃　said　Arthur　wearily；　〃the　only　word　they　know　is　grunt　and　they　can't　spell　it。〃
　　He　sighed　and　sat　back。
　　〃What's　that　supposed　to　achieve？〃　asked　Ford。
　　〃We've　got　to　encourage　them　to　evolve！　To　develop！〃　Arthur　burst　out　angrily。　He　hoped　that　the　weary　sigh　and　then　the　anger　might　do　something　to　counteract　the　overriding　feeling　of　foolishness　from　which　he　was　currently　suffering。　It　didn't。　He　jumped　to　his　feet。
　　〃Can　you　imagine　what　a　world　would　be　like　descended　from　those。。。　cretins　we　arrived　with？〃　he　said。
　　〃Imagine？〃　said　Ford；　rising　his　eyebrows。　〃We　don't　have　to　imagine。　We've　seen　it。〃
　　〃But。。。〃　Arthur　waved　his　arms　about　hopelessly。
　　〃We've　seen　it；〃　said　Ford；　〃there's　no　escape。〃
　　Arthur　kicked　at　a　stone。
　　〃Did　you　tell　them　what　we've　discovered？〃　he　asked。
　　〃Hmmmm？〃　said　Ford；　not　really　concentrating。
　　〃Norway；〃　said　Arthur；　〃Slartibartfast's　signature　in　the　glacier。　Did　you　tell　them？〃
　　〃What's　the　point？〃　said　Ford；　〃What　would　it　mean　to　them？〃
　　〃Mean？〃　said　Arthur；　〃Mean？　You　know　perfectly　well　what　it　means。　It　means　that　this　planet　is　the　Earth！　It's　my　home！　It's　where　I　was　born！〃
　　〃Was？〃　said　Ford。
　　〃Alright；　will　be。〃
　　〃Yes；　in　two　million　years'　time。　Why　don't　you　tell　them　that？　Go　and　say　to　them；　'Excuse　me；　I'd　just　like　to　point　out　that　in　two　million　years'　time　I　will　be　born　just　a　few　miles　from　here。'　See　what　they　say。　They'll　chase　you　up　a　tree　and　set　fire　to　it。〃
　　Arthur　absorbed　this　unhappily。
　　〃Face　it；〃　said　Ford；　〃those　zeebs　over　there　are　your　ancestors；　not　these　poor　creatures　here。〃
　　He　went　over　to　where　the　apemen　creatures　were　rummaging　listlessly　with　the　stone　letters。　He　shook　his　head。
　　〃Put　the　Scrabble　away；　Arthur；〃　he　said；　〃it　won't　save　the　human　race；　because　this　lot　aren't　going　to　be　the　human　race。　The　human　race　is　currently　sitting　round　a　rock　on　the　other　side　of　this　hill　making　documentaries　about　themselves。〃
　　Arthur　winced。
　　〃There　must　be　something　we　can　do；〃　he　said。　A　terrible　sense　of　desolation　thrilled　through　his　body　that　he　should　be　here；　on　the　Earth；　the　Earth　which　had　lost　its　future　in　a　horrifying　arbitrary　catastrophe　and　which　now　seemed　set　to　lose　its　past　as　well。
　　〃No；〃　said　Ford；　〃there's　nothing　we　can　do。　This　doesn't　change　the　history　of　the　Earth；　you　see；　this　is　the　history　of　the　Earth。　Like　it　or　leave　it；　the　Golgafrinchans　are　the　people　you　are　descended　from。　in　two　million　years　they　get　destroyed　by　the　Vogons。　History　is　never　altered　you　see；　it　just　fits　together　like　a　jigsaw。　Funny　old　thing；　life；　isn't　it？〃
　　He　picked　up　the　letter　Q　and　hurled　it　into　a　distant　privet　bush　where　it　hit　a　young　rabbit。　The　rabbit　hurtled　off　in　terror　and　didn't　stop　till　it　was　set　upon　and　eaten　by　a　fox　which　choked　on　one　of　its　bones　and　died　on　the　bank　of　a　stream　which　subsequently　washed　it　away。
　　During　the　following　weeks　Ford　Prefect　swallowed　his　pride　and　struck　up　a　relationship　with　a　girl　who　had　been　a　personnel　officer　on　Golgafrincham；　and　he　was　terribly　upset　when　she　suddenly　passed　away　as　a　result　of　drinking　water　from　a　pool　that　had　been　polluted　by　the　body　of　a　dead　fox。　The　only　moral　it　is　possible　to　draw　from　this　story　is　that　one　should　never　throw　the　letter　Q　into　a　privet　bush；　but　unfortunately　there　are　times　when　it　is　unavoidable。
　　Like　most　of　the　really　crucial　things　in　life；　this　chain　of　events　was　pletely　invisible　to　Ford　Prefect　and　Arthur　Dent。　They　were　looking　sadly　at　one　of　the　natives　morosely　pushing　the　other　letters　around。
　　〃Poor　bloody　caveman；〃　said　Arthur。
　　〃They're　not。。。〃
　　〃What？〃
　　〃Oh　never　mind。〃
　　The　wretched　creature　let　out　a　pathetic　howling　noise　and　banged　on　the　rock。
　　〃It's　all　been　a　bit　of　waste　of　time　for　them；　hasn't　it？〃　said　Arthur。
　　〃Uh　uh　urghhhhh；〃　muttered　the　native　and　banged　on　the　rock　again。
　　〃They've　been　outevolved　by　telephone　sanitizers。〃
　　〃Urgh；　gr　gr；　gruh！〃　insisted　the　native；　continuing　to　bang　on　the　rock。
　　〃Why　does　he　keep　banging　on　the　rock？〃　said　Arthur。
　　〃I　think　he　probably　wants　you　to　Scrabble　with　him　again；〃　said　Ford；　〃he's　pointing　at　the　letters。〃
　　〃Probably　spelt　crzjgrdwldiwdc　again；　poor　bastard。　I　keep　on　telling　him　there's　only　one　g　in　crzjgrdwldiwdc。〃
　　The　native　banged　on　the　rock　again。
　　They　looked　over　his　shoulder。
　　Their　eyes　popped。
　　There　amongst　the　jumble　of　letters　were　eight　that　had　been　laid　out　in　a　clear　straight　line。
　　They　spelt　two　words。
　　The　words　were　these：
　　〃Forty…Two。〃
　　〃Grrrurgh　guh　guh；〃　explained　the　native。　He　swept　the　letters　angrily　away　and　went　and　mooched　under　a　nearby　tree　with　his　colleague。
　　Ford　and　Arthur　stared　at　him。　Then　they　stared　at　each　other。
　　〃Did　that　say　what　I　thought　it　said？〃　they　both　said　to　each　other。
　　〃Yes；〃　they　both　said。
　　〃Forty…two；〃　said　Arthur。
　　〃Forty…two；〃　said　Ford。