pgw.piccadillyjim-第12部分

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　listen　to　Spike　talking　about　his　half…scissors　hook。〃
　〃What's　their　kick　against　Spike's　half…scissors　hook？　It's　a　darned　good　one。〃
　〃She　said　she　was　going　to　speak　to　you　about　it。　I　thought　I'd　let　you　know。〃
　〃Thanks；　dad。　But　was　that　all？〃
　〃All。〃
　〃All　that　she　was　going　to　speak　to　me　about？　Sure　there　was　nothing　else？〃
　〃She　didn't　say　anything　about　anything　else。〃
　〃Then　she　DOESN'T　know！　Fine！〃
　Mr。　Crocker's　feet　came　down　from　the　mantelpiece　with　a　crash。
　〃Jimmy！　You　haven't　been　raising　Cain　again？〃
　〃No；　no；　dad。　Nothing　serious。　High…spirited　Young　Patrician　stuff；　the　sort　of　thing　that's　expected　of　a　fellow　in　my　position。〃
　Mr。　Crocker　was　not　to　be　forted。
　〃Jimmy；　you've　got　to　pull　up。　Honest；　you　have。　I　don't　care　for　myself。　I　like　to　see　a　boy　having　a　good　time。　But　your　stepmother　says　you're　apt　to　queer　us　with　the　people　up　top；　the　way　you're　going　on。　Lord　knows　I　wouldn't　care　if　things　were　different；　but　I'll　tell　you　exactly　how　I　stand。　I　didn't　get　wise　till　this　morning。　Your　stepmother　sprang　it　on　me　suddenly。　I've　often　wondered　what　all　this　stuff　was　about；　this　living　in　London　and　trailing　the　swells。　I　couldn't　think　what　was　your　stepmother's　idea。　Now　I　know。　Jimmy；　she's　trying　to　get　them　to　make　me　a　peer！〃
　〃What！〃
　〃Just　that。　And　she　says〃
　〃But；　dad；　this　is　rich！　This　is　edy　of　a　high　order！　A　peer！　Good　Heavens；　if　it　es　off；　what　shall　I　be？　This　title　business　is　all　so　plicated。　I　know　I　should　have　to　change　my　name　to　Hon。　Rollo　Cholmondeley　or　the　Hon。　Aubrey　Marjoribanks；　but　what　I　want　to　know　is　which？　I　want　to　be　prepared　for　the　worst。〃
　〃And　you　see；　Jimmy；　these　people　up　top；　the　guys　who　arrange　the　giving　of　titles；　are　keeping　an　eye　on　you；　because　you　would　have　the　title　after　me　and　naturally　they　don't　want　to　get　stung。　I　gathered　all　that　from　your　stepmother。　Say；　Jimmy；　I'm　not　asking　a　lot　of　you；　but　there　is　just　one　thing　you　can　do　for　me　without　putting　yourself　out　too　much。〃
　〃I'll　do　it；　dad；　if　it　kills　me。　Slip　me　the　info！〃
　〃Your　stepmother's　friend　Lady　Corstorphine's　nephew　。　。　。〃
　〃It's　not　the　sort　of　story　to　ask　a　man　with　a　headache　to　follow。　I　hope　it　gets　simpler　as　it　goes　along。〃
　〃Your　stepmother　wants　you　to　be　a　good　fellow　and　make　friends　with　this　boy。　You　see；　his　father　is　in　right　with　the　Premier　and　has　the　biggest　kind　of　a　pull　when　it　es　to　handing　out　titles。〃
　〃Is　that　all　you　want？　Leave　it　to　me。　Inside　of　a　week　I'll　be　playing　kiss…in…the…ring　with　him。　The　whole　force　of　my　sunny　personality　shall　be　directed　towards　making　him　love　me。　What's　his　name？〃
　〃Lord　Percy　Whipple。〃
　Jimmy's　pipe　fell　with　a　clatter。
　〃Dad；　pull　yourself　together！　Reflect！　You　know　you　don't　seriously　mean　Lord　Percy　Whipple。〃
　〃Eh？〃
　Jimmy　laid　a　soothing　hand　on　his　father's　shoulder。
　〃Dad；　prepare　yourself　for　the　big　laugh。　This　is　where　you　throw　your　head　back　and　roar　with　honest　mirth。　I　met　Lord　Percy　Whipple　last　night　at　the　Six　Hundred　Club。　Words　ensued。　I　fell　upon　Percy　and　beat　his　block　off！　How　it　started；　except　that　we　both　wanted　the　same　table；　I　couldn't　say。　'Why；　that　I　cannot　tell；'　said　he；　'but　'twas　a　famous　victory！'　If　I　had　known；　dad；　nothing　would　have　induced　me　to　lay　a　hand　upon　Perce；　save　in　the　way　of　kindness；　but；　not　even　knowing　who　he　was；　it　would　appear　from　contemporary　accounts　of　the　affair　that　I　just　naturally　sailed　in　and　expunged　the　poor；　dear　boy！〃
　The　stunning　nature　of　this　information　had　much　the　same　effect　on　Mr。　Crocker　as　the　announcement　of　his　ruin　has　upon　the　Good　Old　Man　in　melodrama。　He　sat　clutching　the　arms　of　his　chair　and　staring　into　space；　saying　nothing。　Dismay　was　written　upon　his　anguished　countenance。
　His　collapse　sobered　Jimmy。　For　the　first　time　he　perceived　that　the　situation　had　another　side　than　the　humorous　one　which　had　appealed　to　him。　He　had　anticipated　that　Mr。　Crocker；　who　as　a　general　thing　shared　his　notions　of　what　was　funny　and　could　be　relied　on　to　laugh　in　the　right　place；　would　have　been　struck；　like　himself；　by　the　odd　and　pleasing　coincidence　of　his　having　picked　on　for　purposes　of　assault　and　battery　the　one　young　man　with　whom　his　stepmother　wished　him　to　form　a　firm　and　lasting　friendship。　He　perceived　now　that　his　father　was　seriously　upset。　Neither　Jimmy　nor　Mr。　Crocker　possessed　a　demonstrative　nature；　but　there　had　always　existed　between　them　the　deepest　affection。　Jimmy　loved　his　father　as　he　loved　nobody　else　in　the　world；　and　the　thought　of　having　hurt　him　was　like　a　physical　pain。　His　laughter　died　away　and　he　set　himself　with　a　sinking　heart　to　try　to　undo　the　effect　of　his　words。
　〃I'm　awfully　sorry；　dad。　I　had　no　idea　you　would　care。　I　wouldn't　have　done　a　fool　thing　like　that　for　a　million　dollars　if　I'd　known。　Isn't　there　anything　I　can　do？　Gee　whiz！　I'll　go　right　round　to　Percy　now　and　apologise。　I'll　lick　his　boots。　Don't　you　worry；　dad。　I'll　make　it　all　right。〃
　The　whirl　of　words　roused　Mr。　Crocker　from　his　thoughts。
　〃It　doesn't　matter；　Jimmy。　Don't　worry　yourself。　It's　only　a　little　unfortunate；　because　our　stepmother　says　she　won't　think　of　our　going　back　to　America　till　these　people　here　have　given　me　a　title。　She　wants　to　put　one　over　on　her　sister。　That's　all　that's　troubling　me；　the　thought　that　this　affair　will　set　us　back；　this　Lord　Percy　being　in　so　strong　with　the　guys　who　give　the　titles。　I　guess　it　will　mean　my　staying　on　here　for　a　while　longer；　and　I'd　liked　to　have　seen　another　ball…game。　Jimmy；　do　you　know　they　call　baseball　Rounders　in　this　country；　and　children　play　it　with　a　soft　ball！〃
　Jimmy　was　striding　up　and　down　the　little　room。　Remorse　had　him　in　its　grip。
　〃What　a　damned　fool　I　am！〃
　〃Never　mind；　Jimmy。　It's　unfortunate；　but　it　wasn't　your　fault。　You　couldn't　know。〃
　〃It　was　my　fault。　Nobody　but　a　fool　like　me　would　go　about　beating　people　up。　But　don't　worry；　dad。　It's　going　to　be　all　right。　I'll　fix　it。　I'm　going　right　round　to　this　fellow　Percy　now　to　make　things　all　right。　I　won't　e　back　till　I've　squared　him。　Don't　you　bother　yourself　about　it　any　longer；　dad。　It's　going　to　be　all　right。〃
　
　CHAPTER　VI
　JIMMY　ABANDONS　PICCADILLY
　
　JIMMY　removed　himself　sorrowfully　from　the　doorstep　of　the　Duke　of　Devizes'　house　in　Cleveland　Row。　His　mission　had　been　a　failure。　In　answer　to　his　request　to　be　permitted　to　see　Lord　Percy　Whipple；　the　butler　had　replied　that　Lord　Percy　was　confined　to　his　bed　and　was　seeing　nobody。　He　eyed　Jimmy；　on　receiving　his　name；　with　an　interest　which　he　failed　to　conceal；　for　he　too；　like　Bayliss；　had　read　and　heartily　enjoyed　Bill　Blake's　spirited　version　of　the　affair　of　last　night　which　had　appeared　in　the　Daily　Sun。　Indeed；　he　had　clipped　the　report　out　and　had　been　engaged　in　pasting　it　in　an　album　when　the　bell　rang。
　In　face　of　this　repulse；　Jimmy's　campaign　broke　down。　He　was　at　a　loss　to　know　what　to　do　next。　He　ebbed　away　from　the　Duke's　front　door　like　an　army　that　has　made　an　unsuccessful　frontal　attack　on　an　impregnable　fortress。　He　could　hardly　force　his　way　in　and　search　for　Lord　Percy。
　He　walked　along　Pall　Mall；　deep　in　thought。　It　was　a　beautiful　day。　The　rain　which　had　fallen　in　the　night　and　relieved　Mr。　Crocker　from　the　necessity　of　watching　cricket　had　freshened　London　up。
　The　sun　was　shining　now　from　a　turquoise　sky。　A　gentle　breeze　blew　from　the　south。　Jimmy　made　his　way　into　Piccadilly；　and　found　that　thoroughfare　a…roar　with　happy　automobilists　and　cheery　pedestrians。　Their　gaiety　irritated　him。　He　resented　their　apparent　enjoyment　of　life。
　Jimmy's　was　not　a　nature　that　lent　itself　readily　to　introspection；　but　he　was　putting　himself　now　through　a　searching　self…examination　which　was　revealing　all　kinds　of　unsuspected　flaws　in　his　character。　He　had　been　having　too　good　a　time　for　years　past　to　have　leisure　to　realise　that　he　possessed　any　responsibilities。　He　had　lived　each　day　as　it　came　in　the　spirit　of　the　Monks　of　Thelema。　But　his　father's　reception　of　the　news　of　last　night's　escapade　and　the　few　words　he　had　said　had　given　him　pause。　Life　had　taken　on　of　a　sudden　a　less　simple　aspect。　Dimly；　for　he　was　not　accustomed　to　thinking　along　these　lines；　he　perceived　the　numbing　truth　that　we　human　beings　are　merely　as　many　pieces　in　a　jig…saw　puzzle　and　that　our　every　movement　affects　the　fortunes　of　some　other　piece。　Just　so；　faintly　at　first　and　taking　shape　by　degrees；　must　the　germ　of　civic　spirit　have　e　to　Prehistoric　Man。　We　are　all　individualists　till　we　wake　up。
　The　thought　of　having　done　anything　to　make　his　father　unhappy　was　bitter　to　Jimmy　Crocker。　They　had　always　been　more　like　brothers　than　father　and　son。　Hard　thoughts　about　himself　surged　through　Jimmy's　mind。　With　a　dejectedness　to　which　it　is　possible　that　his　headache　contributed　he　put　the　matter　squarely　to　himself。　His　father　was　longing　to　return　to　Americahe；　Jimmy；　by　his　idiotic　behaviour　was　putting　obstacles　in　the　way　of　that　returnwhat　was　the　answer？　The　answer；　to　Jimmy's　way　of　thinking；　was　that　all　was　not　well　with　James　Crocker；　that；　when　all　the　evidence　was　weighed；　James　Crocker　would　appear　to　be　a　fool；　a　worm；　a　selfish　waster；　and　a　hopeless；　low…down；　skunk。
　Having　e　to　this　conclusion；　Jimmy　found　himself　so　low　in　spirit　that　the　cheerful　bustle　of　Piccadilly　was　too　much　for　him。　He　turned；　and　began　to　retrace　his　steps。　Arriving　in　due　course　at　the　top　of　the　Haymarket　he　hesitated；　then　turned　down　it　till　he　reached　Cockspur　Street。　Here　the　Trans…Atlantic　steamship　panies　have　their　offices；　and　so　it　came　about　that　Jimmy；　chancing　to　look　up　as　he　walked；　perceived　before　him；　riding　gallantly　on　a　cardboard　ocean　behind　a　plate…glass　window；　the　model　of　a　noble　vessel。　He　stopped；　conscious　of　a　curious　thrill。　There　is　a　superstition　in　all　of　us。　When　an　accidental　happening　chances　to　fit　smoothly　in　with　a　mood；　seeming　to　e　as　a　direct　mentary　on　that　mood；　we　are　apt　to　accept　it　in　defiance　of　our　pure　reason　as　an　omen。　Jimmy　strode　to　the　window　and　inspected　the　model　narrowly。　The　sight　of　it　had　started　a　new　train　of　thought。　His　heart　began　to　race。　Hypnotic　influences　were　at　work　on　him。
　Why　not？　Coul