cb.imajica1-第40部分

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taken　the　mongrel　home　that　night；　knowing　it　would　perish　if　she　didn't。　It　quickly　ingratiated　itself；　wagging　a　furious　wele　when　she　returned　home　each　night　after　being　with　Clem；　sneaking　into　her　bedroom　in　the　early　hours　and　making　a　nest　for　itself　in　her　soiled　clothes。　She　called　it　Skin；　because　it　had　so　little　fur；　and　while　she　didn't　dote　on　it　the　way　it　doted　on　her；　she　was　still　glad　of　its　pany。　More　than　once　she　found　herself　talking　to　it　at　great　length；　while　it　licked　its　paws　or　its　balls；　these　monologues　a　means　to　refocus　her　thoughts　without　worrying　that　she　was　losing　her　mind。　Three　days　after　Clem's　departure　for　sunnier　climes；　discussing　with　Skin　how　she　should　best　proceed；　Estabrook's　name　came　up。
　〃You　haven't　met　Estabrook；〃　she　told　Skin。　〃But　I'll　guarantee　you　won't　like　him。　He　tried　to　have　me　killed；　you　know？〃
　The　dog　looked　up　from　its　toilet。
　〃Yes；　I　was　amazed　too；〃　she　said；　〃I　mean；　that's　worse　than　an　animal；　right？　No　disrespect；　but　it　is。　I　was　his　wife。　I　am　his　wife。　And　he　tried　to　have　me　killed。　What　would　you　do；　if　you　were　me？　Yes；　I　know；　I　should　see　him。　He　had　the　blue　eye　in　his　safe。　And　that　book！　Remind　me　to　tell　you　about　the　book　sometime。　No；　maybe　I　shouldn't。　It'll　give　you　ideas。〃
　Skin　settled　his　head　on　his　crossed　paws；　gave　a　small　sigh　of　contentment；　and　started　to　doze。
　〃You're　a　big　help；〃　she　said。　〃I　need　some　advice　here。　What　do　you　say　to　a　man　who　tried　to　have　you　murdered？〃
　Skin's　eyes　were　closed；　so　she　was　obliged　to　furnish　her　own　reply。
　〃I　say：　Hello；　Charlie；　why　don't　you　tell　me　the　story　of　your　life？〃
　She　called　Lewis　Leader　the　next　day　to　find　out　whether　Estabrook　was　still　hospitalized。　She　was　told　he　was；　but　that　he'd　been　moved　to　a　private　clinic　in　Hampstead。　Leader　supplied　details　of　his　whereabouts；　and　Jude　called　to　inquire　both　about　Estabrook's　condition　and　visiting　hours。　She　was　told　he　was　still　under　close　scrutiny　but　seemed　to　be　in　better　spirits　than　he'd　been；　and　she　was　wele　to　e　and　see　him　at　any　time。　There　seemed　little　purpose　in　delaying　the　meeting。　She　drove　up　to　Hampstead　that　very　evening；　through　another　tumultuous　rainstorm；　arriving　to　a　wele　from　the　psychiatric　nurse　in　charge　of　Estabrook's　case；　a　chatty　young　man　called　Maurice　who　lost　his　top　lip　when　he　smiled；　which　was　often；　and　talked　with　an　almost　indiscreet　enthusiasm　about　the　state　of　his　patient's　mind。
　〃He　has　good　days；〃　Maurice　said　brightly。　Then；　just　as　brightly：　〃But　not　many。　He's　severely　depressed。　He　made　one　attempt　to　kill　himself　before　he　came　to　us；　but　he's　settled　down　a　lot。〃
　〃Is　he　sedated？〃
　〃We　help　keep　the　anxiety　controllable；　but　he's　not　drugged　senseless。　We　can't　help　him　get　to　the　root　of　the　problem　if　he　is。〃
　〃Has　he　told　you　what　that　is？〃　she　said；　expecting　accusations　to　be　tossed　in　her　direction。
　〃It's　pretty　obscure；〃　Maurice　said。　〃He　talks　about　you　very　fondly；　and　I'm　sure　your　ing　will　do　him　a　great　deal　of　good。　But　the　problem's　obviously　with　his　blood　relatives。　I've　got　him　to　talk　a　little　about　his　father　and　his　brother；　but　he's　very　cagey。　The　father's　dead；　of　course；　but　maybe　you　can　shed　some　light　on　the　brother。〃…〃I　never　met　him。〃
　〃That's　a　pity。　Charles　clearly　feels　a　great　deal　of　anger　towards　his　brother；　but　I　haven't　got　to　the　root　of　why。　I　will。　It'll　just　take　time。　He's　very　good　at　keeping　his　secrets　to　himself；　isn't　he？　But　then　you　probably　know　that。　Shall　I　take　you　along　to　see　him？　I　did　tell　him　you'd　telephoned；　so　I　think　he's　expecting　you。〃
Jude　was　irritated　that　the　element　of　surprise　had　been　removed；　that　Estabrook　would　have　had　time　to　prepare　his　feints　and　fabrications。　But　what　was　done　was　done；　and　rather　than　snap　at　the　gleeful　Maurice　for　his　indiscretion　she　kept　her　displeasure　to　herself。　She　might　need　the　man's　smiling　assistance　in　the　fullness　of　time。
　Estabrook's　room　was　pleasant　enough。　Spacious　and　fortable；　its　walls　adorned　with　reproductions　of　Monet　and　Renoir；　it　was　a　soothing　space。　Even　the　piano　concerto　that　played　softly　in　the　background　seemed　posed　to　placate　a　troubled　mind。　Estabrook　was　not　in　bed　but　sitting　by　the　window；　one　of　the　curtains　drawn　aside　so　he　could　watch　the　rain。　He　was　dressed　in　pajamas　and　his　best　dressing　gown；　smoking。　As　Maurice　had　said；　he　was　clearly　awaiting　his　visitor。　There　was　no　flicker　of　surprise　when　she　appeared　at　the　door。　And；　as　she'd　anticipated；　he　had　his　wele　ready。
　〃At　last；　a　familiar　face。〃
　He　didn't　open　his　arms　to　embrace　her；　but　she　went　to　him　and　kissed　him　lightly　on　both　cheeks。
　〃One　of　the　nurses　will　get　you　something　to　drink；　if　you'd　like；〃　he　said。
　〃Yes；　I'd　like　some　coffee。　It's　bitter　out　there。〃
　〃Maybe　Maurice'11　get　it；　if　I　promise　to　unburden　my　soul。〃
　〃Do　you？〃　said　Maurice。
　〃I　do。　I　promise。　You'll　know　the　secrets　of　my　potty　training　by　this　time　tomorrow。〃
　〃Milk　and　sugar？〃　Maurice　asked。
　〃Just　milk；〃　Charlie　said。　〃Unless　her　tastes　have　changed。〃
　〃No；〃　she　told　him。
〃Of　course　not。　Judith　doesn't　change。　Judith's　eternal。〃
　Maurice　withdrew；　leaving　them　to　talk。　There　was　no　embarrassed　silence。　He　had　his　spiel　ready；　and　while　he　delivered　it…a　speech　about　how　glad　he　was　that　she'd　e；　and　how　much　he　hoped　it　meant　she　would　begin　to　forgive　him…she　studied　his　changed　face。　He'd　lost　weight　and　was　without　his　toupe'e；　which　revealed　in　his　physiognomy　qualities　she'd　never　seen　before。　His　large　nose　and　tugged…down　mouth；　with　jutting　over…large　lower　lip；　lent　him　the　look　of　an　aristocrat　fallen　on　hard　times。　She　doubted　that　she'd　ever　find　it　in　her　heart　to　love　him　again；　but　she　could　certainly　manage　a　twinge　of　pity；　seeing　him　so　reduced。
　〃I　suppose　you　want　a　divorce；〃　he　said。
　〃We　can　talk　about　that　another　time。〃
　〃Do　you　need　money？〃
　〃Not　at　the　moment。〃
　〃If　you　do…〃
　〃I'll　ask。〃
　A　male　nurse　appeared　with　coffee　for1　Jude；　hot　chocolate　for　Estabrook；　and　biscuits。　When　he'd　gone；　she　plunged　into　a　confession。　One　from　her；　she　reasoned；　might　elicit　one　from　him。
　〃I　went　to　the　house；〃　she　said。　〃To　collect　my　jewelry。〃
　〃And　you　couldn't　get　into　the　safe。〃
　〃Oh；　no；　I　got　in。〃
　He　didn't　look　at　her；　but　sipped　his　chocolate　noisily。
　〃And　I　found　some　very　strange　things；　Charlie。　I'd　like　to　talk　about　them。〃
　〃I　don't　know　what　you　mean。〃
　〃Some　souvenirs。　A　piece　of　a　statute。　A　book。〃
　〃No；〃　he　said；　still　not　looking　her　way。　〃Those　aren't　mine。　I　don't　know　what　they　are。　Oscar　gave　them　to　me　to　look　after。〃
　Here　was　an　intriguing　connection。　〃Where　did　Oscar　get　them？〃　she　asked　him。
　〃I　didn't　inquire；〃　Estabrook　said　with　a　detached　air。　〃He　travels　a　lot；　you　know。〃
　〃I'd　like　to　meet　him。〃
　〃No；　you　wouldn't；〃　he　said　hurriedly。　〃You　wouldn't　like　him　at　all。〃
　〃Globe…trotters　are　always　interesting；〃　she　said；　attempting　to　preserve　a　lightness　in　her　tone。
　〃I　told　you；〃　he　said。　〃You　wouldn't　like　him。〃
　〃Has　he　been　to　see　you？〃
　〃No。　And　I　wouldn't　see　him　if　he　did。　Why　are　you　asking　me　these　questions？　You've　never　cared　about　Oscar　before。〃
　〃He　is　your　brother；〃　she　said。　〃He　has　some　filial　responsibility。〃
　〃Oscar？　He　doesn't　care　for　anybody　but　himself。　He　only　gave　me　those　presents　as　a　sop。〃
　〃So　they　were　gifts。　I　thought　you　were　just　looking　after　them。〃
　〃Does　it　matter？〃　he　said；　raising　his　voice　a　little。　〃Just　don't　touch　them；　they're　dangerous。　You　put　them　back；　yes？〃
　She　lied　and　told　him　she　had；　realizing　any　more　discussion　on　the　matter　would　only　infuriate　him　further。
　〃Is　there　a　view　out　of　the　window？〃　she　asked　him。
　〃Of　the　heath；〃　he　said。　〃It's　very　pretty　on　sunny　days；　apparently。　They　found　a　body　there　on　Monday。　A　woman；　strangled。　I　watched　them　bing　the　bushes　all　day　yesterday　and　all　day　today：　looking　for　clues；　I　suppose。　In　this　weather。　Horrible；　to　be　out　in　this　weather；　digging　around　looking　for　soiled　underwear　or　some　such。　Can　you　imagine？　I　thought：　I'm　damn　lucky　I'm　in　here；　warm　and　cosy。〃
　If　there　was　any　indication　of　a　change　in　his　mental　processes　it　was　here；　in　this　strange　digression。　An　earlier　Es…tabrook　would　have　had　no　patience　with　any　conversation　that　was　not　serving　a　clear　purpose。　Gossip　and　its　purveyors　had　drawn　his　contempt　like　little　else；　especially　when　he　knew　he　was　the　subject　of　the　tittle…tattle。　As　to　gazing　out　of　a　window　and　wondering　how　others　were　faring　in　the　cold；　that　would　have　been　literally　unthinkable　two　months　before。　She　liked　the　change；　just　as　she　liked　the　newfound　nobility　in　his　profile。　Seeing　the　hidden　man　revealed　gave　her　faith　in　her　own　judgment。　Perhaps　it　was　this　Estabrook　she'd　loved　all　along。
　They　spoke　for　a　while　more；　without　returning　to　any　of　the　personal　matters　between　them；　and　parted　on　friendly　terms；　with　an　embrace　that　was　genuinely　warm。
　〃When　will　you　e　again？〃　he　asked　her。
　〃In　the　next　couple　of　days；〃　she　told　him。
　〃I'll　be　waiting。〃
　So　the　gifts　she'd　found　in　the　safe　had　e　from　Oscar　Godolphin。　Oscar　the　mysterious；　who'd　kept　the　family　name　while　brother　Charles　disowned　it；　Oscar　the　enigmatic；　Oscar　the　globe…trotter。　How　far　afield　had　he　gone；　she　wondered；　to　have　returned　with　such　outre〃　trophies？　Somewhere　out　of　this　world；　perhaps；　into　the　same　remoteness　to　which　she'd　seen　Gentle　and　Pie　'oh'　pah　dispatch　themselves？　She　began　to　suspect　that　there　was　some　conspiracy　abroad。　If　two　men　who　had　no　knowledge　of　each　other；　Oscar　Godolphin　and　John　Zacharias；　knew　about　this　other　world　and　how　to　remove　themselves　there；　how　many　others　in　her　circle　also　knew？　Was　it　information　only　available　to　men？　Did　it　e　with　the　penis　and　a　mother　fixation；　as　part　of　the　male　apparatus？　Had　Taylor　known？　Did　Clem？　Or　was　this　some　kind　of　family　secret；　and　the　part　of　the　puzzle　she　was　missing　was　the　link　between　a　Godolphin　and　a　Zacharias？
　Whatever　the　explanation；　it　was　certain　she　would　not　get　answers　from　Gentle；　which　meant　she　had　to　seek　out　brother　Oscar。　She　tried　by　the　most　direct　route　first：　the　telephone　directory。　He　wasn't　listed