el.angeleyes-第55部分

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　everyone。
　〃Mr。　Broker。〃
　〃Broker　sucks；〃　Greg　said。　〃I'll　go　have　a　talk　with　Bob　Hayes；　the　principal；　tomorrow　after　classes。　Hayes　knows　what　a　prick　Broker　is。　Peter　Borachov's　the　best　Russian　teacher。　I'll　get　you　transferred　to　his　class。〃
　〃I'll　still　hate　it。〃
　〃Don't　be　a　dope。　It's　neat。　You'll　like　it；　I　promise。〃
　〃Really？〃
　〃Really。〃
　〃Gee。　Great！〃　And　just　like　that。　Tori's　insoluble　problem　had　been　solved。　It　had　taken　Greg　to　e　up　with　the　answer。　Greg　always　had　the　answers。
　All　of　a　sudden　that　afternoon　was　so　peaceful；　so　perfect。　But　not　for　long。　Greg；　laughing；　rolling　over；　reaching　out；　taking　her　with　him　into　the　pool。　Down；　down；　down；　into　the　water；　Greg's　wide；　powerful　hand　pressed　against　the　top　of　her　head；　keeping　her　deep　in　the　water　while　the　air　running　out　burned　her　lungs　and　a　kind　of　animal　panic　gripped　her　so　that　she　flailed　out　with　her　arms　and　legs　and；　at　last；　as　she　began　to　cry；　feeling　the　weight　e　off　her；　Greg　lifting　her　upward　into　the　air　and　the　light。
　〃Stop！　Stop！　Stop！　Don't　ever　do　that　again！〃　She　could　remember　him　peering　into　her　face　while　she　wept　and　gasped；　until　she　said；　〃Why　are　you　looking　at　me？〃
　〃To　see　your　face　change；〃　Greg　said。
　〃How　did　my　face　change？〃　Tori　asked；　wiping　away　her　tears。　This　was　an　altogether　grown…up　conversation；　and　she　had　already　forgotten　her　fear　and　her　anger。
　〃I　can't　tell　you；〃　Greg　said；　〃but　I　can　show　you。〃　He　put　her　hand　on　his　head。　〃Push　me　down　into　the　water。　Don't　let　me　e　up。〃
　〃Greg；　don't　be　stupid。　Why　should　I　want…〃
　〃Just　do　it；　Tor！〃　he　thundered；　his　eyes　alight　with　energy；　so　that　Tori　was　helpless　to　do　anything　other　than　ply。
　She　pushed　his　head　under　the　water。　It　took　both　her　hands；　her　arms　rigid；　her　legs　fluttering　back　and　forth　in　the　water　for　added　power。　Her　head　was　just　above　the　surface　of　the　pool。　She　could　remember　how　the　sunlight　cut　a　last　dazzle　on　the　water　and　then；　sinking　below　the　tops　of　the　palms；　left　the　pool　in　blue　twilight。　The　pumps　had　cut　off；　and　the　water　was　utterly　still；　crystal　clear。
　Tori　looked　down　at　her　brother　submerged　as；　terrifyingly；　she　had　been　moments　before。　Was　this　some　kind　of　test；　she　wondered；　a　way　to　improve　his　breath　control？　She　liked　being　made　part　of　his　program；　loved　the　sense　of　Tori　and　Greg　versus　Mom　and　Dad；　his　strength　added　to　hers；　another　layer　of　callus　to　keep　out　the　parental　intrusions。
　They　were　alone　in　Diana's　Garden；　alone　in　the　cool　water；　just　the　two　of　them　taking　part　in　a　mysterious　process；　like　an　ancient　rite　of　which　Tori　had　no　knowledge。　And　the　not　knowing　somehow　added　to　her　excitement；　as　if　she　were　participating　in　a　really　adult　thing；　Greg　trusting　her　as　if　she　were　already　grown　up；　and　she　thought；　it　was　worth　being　terrorized　by　him　for　moments　such　as　these。
　Time　passed。　Ripples　on　the　skin　of　the　pool；　a　string　of　tiny　bubbles　leaking　from　the　corner　of　Greg's　mouth。　She　could　feel　him　trying　to　rise；　and　she　fluttered　her　feet　harder；　gaining　purchase　and　leverage　at　the　same　time；　pushing　down　to　meet　the　increased　pressure。
　And　then　a　bluebird　swooped　down　from　its　perch　in　a　nearby　tree；　skimmed　the　water　as　if　wanting　to　see　what　lay　below；　and　Tori　thought；　What　am　I　doing？　I　am　holding　my　brother　underwater；　and　I　don't　know　how　long　he's　been　unable　to　breathe。　She　felt　a　shiver　of　fright。
　With　a　convulsive　gesture　she　took　her　hands　off　the　top　of　Greg's　head；　dove　down；　pulled　him　back　to　the　surface。　His　face　was　white；　his　eyes　oddly　dark。　He　looked　like　a　different　person；　as　if　the　proximity　to　death　had　somehow　changed　him。　Something　strange　and　cold　crept　through　Tori's　veins。
　〃There；〃　Greg　said；　gripping　her　shoulders　hard　to　be　certain　that　she　was　staring　directly　at　him。　〃Do　you　see？　I　couldn't　tell　you；　but　I've　shown　you；　haven't　I？　〃
　Tori；　sitting　opposite　Russell　Slade　in　futuristic　Roppongi；　asked　herself　why　she　had　recalled　that　specific　incident。　Perhaps　it　was　because　the　emotions　gripping　her　heart　were　so　disturbing　that　she　had　to　conjure　even　more　disturbing　thoughts　to　try　to　block　them　out。　Wasn't　it　that　moment；　seeing　Greg's　changed　face；　when　Tori's　feet　were　set　upon　her　path；　that　she　knew　she　would　not　be　satisfied　until　she　stared　death　in　the　face？
　Tori　thought　she　wanted　to　explore　this　horrific　idea　further；　but　the　essence　of　Russell　kept　insinuating　itself　into　her　consciousness…that　new　side　of　him　she　had　glimpsed　in　the　corrida　when　he　had　been　near　death；　when；　later；　she　had　been　so　vulnerable；　such　an　easy　target　for　him；　and　instead　of　making　the　most　of　his　advantage；　he　had　gathered　her　into　his　arms。
　Tori　in　Tokyo　now；　recalling　Tokyo　then；　ten　years　ago；　when　she　was　ever　so　young；　ever　so　smart；　ever　so　vulnerable。　She　had　walked　a　different　road　then。　She　had　been　cocky；　so　sure　of　herself；　of　her　abilities。　The　thought　of　defeat　was　merely　a　dream；　the　contemplation　of　her　own　death　inconceivable。
　Greg　had　flown　in；　one　of　the　few　occasions　he　had　had　the　time　to　visit　her　in　Japan。　It　was　odd；　their　worlds　were　so　different；　and　yet　so　alike。　They　both　trained　vigorously；　both　had　a　kind　of　monodirectional　bent　that　allowed　them　to　concentrate　on　the　flood　of　information　they　had　to　learn；　then　translate　it　into　action。　They　were　masters　of　both　the　cerebral　and　the　physical；　learning　what　a　valuable　modity　the　bination　could　be。
　Though　they　were　in　touch　infrequently；　and　saw　each　other　even　less；　they　still　remained　close。　Perhaps　it　was　their　parents　that　made　them　so；　an　unspoken　mutual　need　to　band　together　against　the　enormous　pressures　at　home　in　Diana's　Garden。
　In　Tokyo　they　had　gone　out　drinking。　It　was　a　recreation　neither　had　the　time　nor　the　inclination　to　pursue　on　a　regular　basis。　Their　lives　were　so　disciplined；　so　regularized；　so　military；　that　the　chance　to　kick　back　and　break　loose　was　irresistible。　It　was　also　Tori's　firm　belief…a　very　Japanese　concept…that　real　truths；　the　full　heart；　not　the　empty　symbol；　could　only　be　expressed　while　drunk。　Everything　could　be　forgiven　then；　there　was　no　loss　of　face；　no　shame　at　being　sentimental　or　showing　weakness。
　They　had　gone　from　bar　to　bar　and；　as　the　night　wore　on；　found　themselves　in　darker　and　meaner　sections　of　the　city。　They　were　not　unaware　of　this；　rather；　they　weled　the　proximity　of　danger。　There　was　about　the　entire　night　a　sense　of　machismo　that　Ton　was　unable　to　understand　until　she　looked　back　from　the　perspective　time　gave　her。　At　first　she　had　believed　that　Greg；　NASA　pilot；　astronaut　in　training；　had　been　responsible　for　that　febrile　aggressiveness。　But　then　she　realized　that　much　of　the　machismo　had　stemmed　from　her；　and　Greg　was　following　her　lead。　That　had　been　a　switch。
　She　had　followed　Greg　in　everything：　sports；　mathematics；　school；　teams；　the　works。　That　had　been　their　father's　doing。　Ellis　Nunn　had　wanted　to　ensure　that　she　was　prepared　for　the　hard；　petitive　world　she　would　one　day　be　thrown　into。　If　you　can　pete　with　your　brother；　you　'II　be　ready　for　anyone；　he　had　told　her。　Don't　plain　and　don't　try　to　weasel　out。　I'm　doing　you　the　favor　my　father　never　did　for　me。
　But；　of　course；　she　was　doomed　to　failure　at　every　turn。　Greg　was　the　golden　boy；　superb　in　sports；　mathematics；　excelling　in　each　school　he　attended。　Not　that　she　didn't　do　her　best　to　excel…and　succeeded　most　of　the　time。　She　just　could　not　match　Greg's　level。　He　seemed　to　revel　in　the　milieu　Ellis　Nunn　threw　him　into；　she　despised　it。
　So；　in　the　end；　she　ran　away；　all　the　way　across　the　Pacific　to　Japan；　as　if　she　needed　to　get　as　much　distance　as　she　could　between　herself　and　the　life　she　had　been　forced　to　live。　But　her　flight　was　more　than　away　from　pain；　it　was　toward　a　lifestyle　that　in　its　enigma　drew　her　steadily　on。　Like　Odysseus　on　his　arduous　quest；　Tori　could　hardly　have　done　anything　different。　She　was　made　for　Japan　and　it　was　made　for　her。
　For　one　thing；　the　stringent　asceticism　at　the　martial　arts　school　she　joined　was　such　a　wele　relief　from　the　opulence　and　endless　money；　her　parents'　insatiable　appetite　for　acquisitions；　that　she　nearly　wept　for　joy　the　first　week　at　the　school。　Alone；　lying　on　her　simple　futon　bed　after　a　full　day's　mental　and　physical　work；　staring　up　through　the　garden　at　the　moon　and　the　stars；　Tori　had　at　last　known　a　peace　she　had　once　thought　could　never　be　hers。
　For　another　thing；　there　was　sensei；　a　small；　quick…gestured　man；　who　nevertheless　moved　with　a　deliberation　so　profound；　it　actually　seemed　to　be　the　opposite。　His　stratagems　appeared　to　be　inadvertent；　haphazard；　wholly　unexpected。
　〃This　is　more　difficult　to　achieve　than　you　as　a　Westerner　could　possibly　imagine；〃　he　had　told　her　when　she　had　reached　the　fourth　of　his　six　levels　of　training。　〃This　is　not　a　racist　remark；　merely　the　truth。　You　see；　we　Japanese　abhor　randomness。　Nature　in　its　pure；　unadulterated　state　frightens　us；　which　is　why　we　have　created　deities　such　as　the　fox　goddess　to　reinforce　that　fright。〃
　〃But　sensei；　look　out　there；〃　Tori　had　said；　pointing　to　the　exquisite　garden。　〃You　are　always　surrounded　by　nature。　I　don't　understand。〃
　Sensei　had　smiled。　〃I　urge　you　to　look　again　at　the　garden　on　which　I　lavish　so　much　attention。　Is　it　nature？　When　we　wander　the　lush　hillsides　of　Yoshino；　that　is　nature；　when　we　climb　the　alps　to　the　north；　that　is　nature。　But　this　garden？　No。　It　is　a　product　of　my　imagination。　Everything　is　made；　dwarfed；　bonsaied；　controlled　by　me　or　by　one　of　my　students。　This　garden　is　what　I　want　it　to　be；　nothing　more；　certainly　not　nature。　Not　yet。
　〃The　perfect　garden；　Tori…san；　is　a　simulacrum　of　nature；　it　merges　with　nature　to　bee　one　with　it。　But　there　is　no　such　thing　as　a　perfect　garden；　and　there　never　will　be。　The　result；　though　we　work　all　our　lives　toward　it；　is　too　frightening　a　prospect；　because　if　it　ever　came　about；　we　would；　by　definition；　lose　our　control　over　it；　and　that　can　never　be　allowed。〃
　Facades　and　a　sense　of　control；　these　were　the　principles　of　Japanese　gardens；　microcosms　of　the　Japanese　culture　itself。　And　these　were　what　Tori　thought　of　the　night　she　went　carousing　the　wild　side　of　Tokyo　with　Greg。　Beca