lh.narcissusinchains-第78部分

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　〃I　don't　care　which　of　us　is　more　dominant；　Anita。　Those　kind　of　games　have　never　meant　anything　to　me；　unless　people　forced　me　to　play　them。〃
　〃You　said　something　about　helping　Gregory。　What　did　you　mean？〃
　He　started　working　his　way　a　little　higher　up　my　body；　sliding　his　body　along　mine。　I　could　feel　the　slime　from　his　shirt　recoating　my　bare　stomach　and　nearly　bare　chest。　My　disgust　must　have　shown　on　my　face；　because　he　asked；　〃What's　wrong？〃
　〃Your　shirt　is　covered　in　slime；　and　I'm　lying　in　a　pool　of　it。　I　didn't　just　want　you　to　get　off　me　to　be　off　of　me；　I　wanted　to　get　up　out　of　this　mess。〃
　He　came　to　his　knees；　his　legs　on　either　side　of　mine。　I　could　feel　our　beasts　stretched　between　us　like　something　that　should　have　been　visible；　as　if　each　of　their　heads　was　buried　in　the　other's　chest。　He　offered　me　a　hand。　I　stared　up　at　him。
　〃I　know　you　don't　need　the　help；　Anita。　But　our　beasts　are　touching　now。　It's　a　close　connection　and　physical　contact　will　help　us　keep　it　until　we　finish　Gregory。〃
　I　didn't　need　the　earnest　look　on　his　face　to　know　he　was　telling　the　truth；　the　marks　were　still　open　between　us。　I　knew　he　was　telling　the　truth。
　I　took　his　hand　and　he　lifted　me　to　my　feet。　Standing　up　hurt；　and　either　he　felt　it　or　saw　it　on　my　face。　〃I　hurt　you；〃　he　said　softly。
　〃We　hurt　each　other。〃　I　could　feel　that　he　was　stiff；　aching；　but　he　moved　like　he　wasn't；　and　I　still　moved　human　stiff。
　He　raised　the　bottom　of　his　shirt；　still　holding　my　hand。　〃Touch　me。〃
　I　looked　up　at　him；　and　he　laughed。　〃Just　keep　physical　contact；　Anita。　I　don't　mean　anything　by　it。　But　I　need　both　my　hands。〃
　I　laid　a　hand　on　his　side；　very　tentatively。
　He　shook　his　head。　〃I'm　going　to　take　my　shirt　off。〃
　If　you　can't　touch　a　person's　hands；　arms；　or　much　of　their　upper　body；　you　run　out　of　polite　places　to　touch。　I　settled　for　sliding　my　hand　under　the　wet　shirt；　touching　the　smooth　firmness　of　his　side。　Even　his　skin　was　damp　from　the　shirt　having　molded　to　it。
　Richard　drew　the　shirt　over　his　head；　and　I　was　left　standing　inches　from　him　as　he　revealed　the　flat　plains　of　his　stomach；　the　muscular　swell　of　his　chest；　and　arched　his　back　to　draw　the　shirt　over　his　head。　The　sight　of　him；　the　pull　of　the　lust　that　always　came　when　I　saw　him　without　clothes　pushed　my　beast　against　his。　I　felt　furred　sides　roll　against　each　other；　a　tentative　roll　of　power　that　felt　like　someone　had　taken　velvet　and　caressed　the　most　intimate　part　of　me。
　Richard　gasped。
　I　concentrated　hard　to　stop　the　movement；　but　that　I'd　done　it　without　thinking　brought　heat　in　a　wash　up　my　face。　I　looked　at　the　ground；　my　hand　was　still　only　touching　his　side；　just　above　his　jeans；　but　the　touch　felt　suddenly　intimate。　I　wanted　to　take　my　hand　away；　and　his　hand　covered　mine　before　I　could　move。　He　pressed　my　hand　to　him；　firm；　but　not　forceful。
　He　touched　my　chin；　raised　my　face　until　I　had　to　look　at　him。　〃It's　alright；　Anita。　I　love　the　fact　that　just　seeing　me　moves　you　like　that。〃
　The　blush　that　had　been　fading；　blazed　harder。　He　laughed；　soft；　low；　with　that　edge　that　a　man's　laugh　gets　when　he's　thinking　intimate　things。　〃I　have　missed　you；　Anita。〃
　I　looked　up　at　him。　〃I　missed　you；　too。〃
　His　beast　moved　through　me　in　a　wash　of　power　and　sensation　that　left　me　gasping。　My　beast　responded　to　his。　I　couldn't　seem　to　stop　it。　Maybe　I　didn't　want　to。　Those　shadow　forms　rolled　in　and　out　of　each　other；　through　us；　until　I　couldn't　breathe；　couldn't　think。　It　was　Richard　who　drew　back　first；　and　said；　〃Dear　God；　I　never　thought　。。。　〃　I　felt　the　effort　it　cost　him　to　draw　back　from　me；　to　stop。　His　face　showed　a　businesslike；　no…nonsense　look；　but　I　could　feel　the　trembling　of　other　things　inside　him。　His　voice　came　out　brisk。　〃I'll　call　Jamil's　beast；　the　way　it's　supposed　to　be　done。　Feel　what　I　do；　how　I　use　my　beast　to　call　his。〃
　My　voice　was　a　little　breathy。　〃Then　I'll　do　Gregory。〃
　He　nodded。　〃Or　I　can　call　Shang…Da's　beast；　if　you　need　to　see　it　one　more　time。〃
　I　nodded。　〃Okay。〃
　He　slid　a　hand　around　my　waist；　drawing　me　against　him。　It　didn't　seem　as　intimate　as　the　roil　of　our　beasts　inside　us。　Jamil　stood　facing　us。　He'd　stripped　off　his　shirt　and　shoes；　but　kept　on　his　pants。　It　occurred　to　me　for　the　first　time　that　I'd　never　seen　him　nude；　except　when　he'd　been　injured　and　near　death。　Jamil　didn't　do　casual　nudity。　One　of　the　few　modest　shapeshifters　I　knew。
　〃I'm　ready；　Ulfric。〃
　After　what　Richard　had　done　to　Stephen　I　thought　Jamil　was　being　awful　trusting。　But　then；　everyone　trusted　Richard；　he　was　very　trustworthy。　No；　lack　of　trust　wasn't　the　problem。
　〃I　don't　need　to　physically　touch　anyone　to　do　this；　but　it's　easier　that　way；　so　I'll　touch　him；　so　you　can　understand　better　how　it　works。〃
　I　nodded；　wrapped　in　the　circle　of　his　arm；　the　firmness　of　his　body；　the　velvet　roll　of　our　beasts　like　another　arm　to　hold　us　against　each　other。
　Richard　touched　Jamil's　bare　shoulder；　and　I　felt　his　power　move　outward　like　a　warm　wind。　It　caressed　Jamil's　skin；　and　Richard's　beast　flowed　with　it；　pulling　mine　along　for　the　ride。　Richard's　power　teased　along　Jamil；　coaxing；　and　the　best　analogy　I　could　think　of　was　like　someone　trying　to　lure　a　cat　down　out　of　a　tree。　Beckoning；　talking　sweetly；　promising　caresses；　and　treats；　if　only　it　would　e　down。　But　Jamil's　beast　didn't　e　down；　it　came　out。　It　rolled　out　of　the　center　of　his　being　like　a　pale　golden　fog；　an　almost　shape。　I　saw　his　beast　like　I'd　seen　Micah's　earlier；　for　an　instant；　then　Jamil　collapsed　to　the　deck；　and　his　bare　back　began　to　ripple　like　water　under　a　strong　wind。　The　wolf　drew　out　of　his　back　in　a　long　wet　line；　and　his　body　dissolved　into　that　dark　furred　shape；　so　that　his　human　body　became　the　wolf；　like　flipping　over　a　coin；　heads；　tails；　but　still　the　same　coin。　I　felt　the　rightness　of　it；　the　harmony　of　it。　Jamil　embraced　what　he　was；　there　was　no　conflict　between　him　and　his　beast。　I'd　never　seen　him　in　wolf　form；　man…wolf；　but　not　this　pony…sized　black　beast。　He　was　like　Little　Red　Riding　Hood's　worst　nightmare。
　The　wolf　shook　himself；　and　I　realized　that　his　fur　was　dry。　There　was　more　of　that　clear　goop　all　over　the　deck；　but　very　little　of　it　had　clung　to　the　wolf　itself。　Yet　another　metaphysical　mystery：　How　do　werewolves　stay　dry　when　shapeshifting　is　such　a　mess？
　I　turned　without　a　word；　drawing　Richard　with　me。　I　went　to　Gregory；　still　sitting　on　the　picnic　table；　only　Cherry　and　Dr。　Lillian　with　him　now。　Zane　had　e　to　see　what　the　matter　was　when　Richard　and　I　started　writhing　on　the　deck。
　Gregory　looked　at　me；　blue　eyes　silvered　in　the　moonlight。　I　smiled　and　touched　his　cheek；　cupped　the　side　of　his　face　against　my　hand。　I　reached　for　his　beast；　not　with　my　hand；　but　with　that　shadowy　thing　that　swirled　through　Richard　and　me。　I　sent　it　shivering　across　Gregory's　skin；　and　he　sat　up；　letting　the　quilt　fall　away　from　his　bare　upper　body。　Cherry　moved　away　just　enough　so　they　wouldn't　touch；　as　if　she　was　afraid　to　touch　him　now。
　I　tried　to　coax　his　beast；　to　call　it　with　sweet　caresses　and　gentle　persuasion；　but　it　remained　stubbornly　just　under　the　surface；　trapped　by　the　drugs　that　still　made　Gregory's　body　a　prison　and　the　shock　that　had　further　dampened　everything　I　needed　to　call。　But　I　knew　that　it　didn't　have　to　be　gentle。　I　might　not　have　been　along　for　the　ride　when　Richard　brought　Stephen's　beast；　but　I'd　seen　it；　and　I　knew　enough　of　power　to　guess　what　he'd　done。
　〃I'll　try　not　to　hurt　you；〃　I　said；　but　I　thrust　my　power　into　Gregory。　I　felt　it　hit　his　chest　and　sink　into　him　like　a　large　flesh…and…fur　blade。
　Gregory　gasped；　back　arching；　just　a　little。
　I　found　his　beast　like　a　curled　cat；　asleep；　sluggish；　and　I　grabbed　it　in　my　hand；　sank　claws　in　it　and　pulled　it　screaming　into　the　air。　I　ripped　his　beast　out　of　him；　and　Gregory　shifted；　as　Stephen　had　shifted　in　an　explosion　of　blood；　flesh；　and　fluid。　I　was　covered　in　it；　so　thick　I　had　to　scoop　it　out　of　my　eyes　to　see。　To　see　that　yellow　and　black　spotted　man…leopard　lying　hunched　on　the　table。　I　watched　Stephen　e　to　sniff　along　his　brother's　shivering　body。
　〃Gregory；　Gregory；　can　you　hear　me？〃　I　asked；　and　my　voice　was　softer　than　I　meant　it　to　be。
　Gregory　blinked　leopard　eyes　at　me；　but　a　growling　voice　came　out　of　that　furred　throat。　〃I　can　hear　you。〃
　Stephen　threw　his　head　back　and　bayed。　Jamil　echoed　him；　and　the　leopards'　screams　of　triumph　filled　the　night。
　
　36
　
　DAWN　WAS　SLIDING　through　the　trees　in　a　wash　of　white；　white　light　that　left　the　trees　looking　like　black　paper　cutouts　against　the　shining　sky　when　I　pulled　the　curtains　and　filled　the　bedroom　with　twilight　dimness。　I'd　put　very　heavy　curtains　in　the　room　when　Jean…Claude　had　been　a　frequent　visitor。　The　bedside　lamp　seemed　dim　after　the　glow　of　sunrise。　Nathaniel　sat　on　the　edge　of　the　bed　by　the　lamp。　He　was　wearing　the　bottoms　of　silk　pajama　shorts。　They　were　a　pale　lavender　silk　that　echoed　his　eyes　and　looked　too　delicate　a　color　for　men's　sleepwear。　I　always　suspected　the　shorts　were　originally　designed　for　a　woman；　but　shorts　were　shorts。
　The　lamplight　caught　red　highlights　in　his　auburn　hair；　where　it　gleamed　down　the　side　of　his　body　like　something　warm　and　alive；　almost　separate。　Strangely；　in　wereleopard　form；　he　was　a　black　panther；　so　that　auburn　hair　vanished　once　he　left　human　form。
　Nathaniel　was　the　only　one　of　the　wereleopards　still　in　human　form。　So　he　was　the　only　one　that　got　to　share　my　bed。　If　they　were　kitty…cats；　they　had　to　sleep　elsewhere；　but　in　human　form　we　tried　to　be　a　big　pile　of　puppies。　Somehow　it　was　less　fy　with　only　Nathaniel　than　it　would　have　been　with　more　of　them。　Maybe　it　was　the　fact　that　his　right　nipple　still　had　a　circle　of　my　teeth　marks。
　〃Shouldn't　the　bite　marks　have　healed　by　now？〃　I　asked。
　〃I　don't　heal　as　quickly　as　some；〃　he　said　softly。　〃And　marks　made　by　another　shapeshifter；　or　even　a　vampire；　heal　more　slowly。〃
　〃Why　is　that？〃
　He　shrugged。　〃Why　does　silver　kill　us；　and　steel　not？〃
　〃Point　taken；〃　I　said。　I　ran　my　hand　through　my　still…damp　hair。　I'd　showered　and　was　actually　wearing　pajamas；　not　an　oversized　T…shirt；　which　was　my　usual　sleep　attire。　Though