brideshead+revisited-第32部分

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of　Wales；　his　membership　of　Bratt's；　even　his　smoking…room　radeship　at　the　House　of　mons；　for；　when　he　first　appeared　there；　his　party　chiefs　did　not　say　of　him；　'Look；　there　is　the　promising　young　member　for　north　Gridley　who　spoke　so　well　on　Rent　Restrictions。'　They　said：　'There's　Brenda　Champion's　latest'；　it　had　done　him　a　great　deal　of　good　with　men；　women　he　could　usually　charm。
　　　　'Well；　that's　all　washed　up。　Ma　Marchmain　was　too　delicate　to　mention　the　subject；　all　she　said　was　that　I　had　〃notoriety〃。　Well；　what　does　she　expect　as　a　son…in…law　…　a　sort　of　half…baked　monk　like　Brideshead？　Julia　knows　all　about　the　other　thing；　if　she　doesn't　care；　I　don't　see　it's　anyone　else's　business。'
　　　　After　the　duck　came　a　salad　of　watercress　and　chicory　in　a　faint　mist　of　chives。　I　tried　to　think　only　of　the　salad。　I　succeeded　for　a　time　in　thinking　only　of　the　souffl？　Then　came　the　cognac　and　the　proper　hour　for　these　confidences。　'。。。Julia's　just　rising　twenty。　I　don't　want　to　wait　till　she's　of　age。　Anyway；　I　don't　want　to　marry　without　doing　the　thing　properly。。。nothing　hole…in…corner。。。I　have　to　see　she　isn't　jockeyed　out　of　her　proper　settlement。　So　as　the　Marchioness　won't　play　ball　I'm　off　to　see　the　old　man　and　square　him。　I　gather　he's　likely　to　agree　to　anything　he　knows　will　upset　her。　He's　at　Monte　Carlo　at　the　moment。　I'd　planned　to　go　there　after　dropping　Sebastian　off　at　Zurich。　That's　why　it's　such　a　bloody　bore　having　lost　him。'
　　　　The　cognac　was　not　to　Rex's　taste。　It　was　clear　and　pale　and　it　came　to　us　in　a　bottle　free　from　grime　and　Napoleonic　cyphers。　It　was　only　a　year　or　two　older　than　Rex　and　lately　bottled。　They　gave　it　to　us　in　very　thin　tulip…shaped　glasses　of　modest　size。
　　　　'Brandy's　one　of　the　things　I　do　know　a　bit　about；'　said　Rex。　'This　is　a　bad　colour。　What's　more；　I　can't　taste　it　in　this　thimble。'
　　　　They　brought　him　a　balloon　the　size　of　his　head。　He　made　them　warm　it　over　the　spirit　lamp。　Then　he　rolled　the　splendid　spirit　round；　buried　his　face　in　the　fumes；　and　pronounced　it　the　sort；　of　stuff　he　put　soda　in　at　home。
　　　　So；　shamefacedly；　they　wheeled　out　of　its　hiding　place　the　vast　and　mouldy　bottle　they　kept　for　people　of　Rex's　sort。
　　　　'That's　the　stuff；'　he　said；　tilting　the　treacly　concoction　till　it　left　dark　rings　round　the　sides　of　his　glass。　'They've　always　got　some　tucked　away；　but　they　won't　bring　it　out　unless　you　make　a　fuss。　Have　some。'
　　　　'I'm　quite　happy　with　this。'
　　　　'Well；　it's　a　crime　to　drink　it；　if　you　don't　really　appreciate　it。
　　　　He　lit　his　cigar　and　sat　back　at　peace　with　the　world；　I；　too；　was　at　peace　in　another　world　than　his。　We　were　both　happy。　He　talked　of　Julia　and　I　heard　his　voice；　unintelligible　at　a　great　distance；　like　a　dog's　barking　miles　away　on　a　still　night。

　　　　At　the　beginning　of　May　the　engagement　was　announced。　I　saw　the　notice　in　the　Continental　Daily　Mail　and　assumed　that　Rex　had　'squared　the　old　man'。　But　things　did　not　go　as　were　expected。　The　next　news　I　had　of　them　was　in　the　middle　of　June；　when　I　read　that　they　had　been　married　very　quietly　at　the　Savoy　Chapel。　No　royalty　was　present；　nor　was　the　Prime　Minister；　nor　were　any　of　Julia's　family。　It　sounded　like　a　'hole…in…the…corner'　affair；　but　it　was　not　for　several　years　that　I　heard　the　full　story。

＇2＇

IT　is　time　to　speak　of　Julia；　who　till　now　has　played　an　intermittent　and　somewhat　enigmatic　part　in　Sebastian's　drama。　It　was　thus　she　appeared　to　me　at　the　time；　and　I　to　her。　We　pursued　separate　aims　which　brought　us　near　to　one　another；　but　we　remained　strangers。　She　told　me　later　that　she　had　made　a　kind　of　note　of　me　in　her　mind；　as；　scanning　the　shelf　for　a　particular　book；　one　will　sometimes　have　one's　attention　caught　by　another；　take　it　down；　glance　at　the　title　page　and；　saying　'I　must　read　that；　too；　when　I've　the　time；'　replace　it；　and　continue　the　search。　On　my　side　the　interest　was　keener；　for　there　was　always　the　physical　likeness　between　brother　and　sister；　which；　caught　repeatedly　in　different　poses；　under　different　lights；　each　time　pierced　me　anew；　and；　as　Sebastian　in　his　sharp　decline　seemed　daily　to　fade　and　crumble；　so　much　the　more　did　Julia　stand　out　clear　and　firm。
　　　　She　was　thin　in　those　days；　flat…chested；　leggy；　she　seemed　all　limbs　and　neck；　bodiless；　spidery；　thus　far　she　conformed　to　the　fashion；　but　the　hair…cut　and　the　hats　of　the　period；　and　the　blank　stare　and　gape　of　the　period；　and　the　clownish　dabs　of　rouge　high　on　the　cheekbones；　could　not　reduce　her　to　type。
　　　　When　I　first　met　her；　when　she　met　me　in　the　station　yard　and　drove　me　home　through　the　twilight；　that　high　summer　of　1923；　she　was　just　eighteen　and　fresh　from　her　first　London　season。
　　　　Some　said　it　was　the　most　brilliant　season　since　the　war；　that　things　were　getting　into　their　stride　again。　Julia　was　at　the　centre　of　it。　There　were　then　remaining　perhaps　half　a　dozen　London　houses　which　could　be　called　'historic'；　Marchmain　House　in　St　James's　was　one　of　them；　and　the　ball　given　for　Julia；　in　spite　of　the　ignoble　costume　of　the　time；　was　by　all　accounts　a　splendid　spectacle。　Sebastian　went　down　for　it　and　half…heartedly　suggested　my　ing　with　him；　I　refused　and　came　to　regret　my　refusal；　for　it　was　the　last　ball　of　its　kind　given　there；　the　last　of　a　splendid　series。
　　　　How　could　I　have　known？　There　seemed　time　for　everything　in　those　days；　the　world　was　open　to　be　explored　at　leisure。　I　was　so　full　of　Oxford　that　summer；　London　could　wait；　I　thought。
　　　　The　other　great　houses　belonged　to　kinsmen　or　to　childhood　friends　of　Julia's；　and　beside　s　them　there　were　countless　substantial　houses　in　the　squares　of　Mayfair　and　Belgravia；　alight　and　thronged；　one　or　other　of　them；　night　after　night。　Foreigners　returning　on　post　from　their　own　waste　lands　wrote　home　that　here　they　seemed　to　catch　a　glimpse　of　the　world　they　had　believed　lost　forever；　among　the　mud　and　wire；　and　through　those　halcyon　weeks　Julia　darted　and　shone；　part　of　the　sunshine　between　the　tress；　part　of　the　candle…light　in　the　mirror's　spectrum；　so　that　elderly　men　and　women　sitting　aside　with　their　memories；　saw　her　as　herself　the　blue…bird。　'　〃Bridey〃　Marchmain's　eldest　girl；'　they　said。　'Pity　he　can't　see　her　tonight。'
　　　　That　night　and　the　night　after；　wherever　she　went　always　in　her　own　little　circle　of　intimates；　she　brought　a　moment　of　Joy；　such　as　strikes　deep　to　the　heart　on　the　river's　bank　when　the　kingfisher　suddenly　flares　across　the　water。
　　　　This　was　the　creature；　neither　child　nor　woman；　that　drove　me　through　the　dusk　that　summer　evening；　untroubled　by　love；　taken　aback　by　the　power　of　her　own　beauty；　hesitating　on　the　cool　edge　of　life　one　who　had　suddenly　found　herself　armed；　unawares；　the　heroine　of　a　fairy　story　turning　over　in　her　hands　the　magic　ring；　she　had　only　to　stroke　it　with　her　fingertips　and　whisper　the　charmed　word；　for　the　earth　to　open　at　her　feet　and　belch　forth　her　titanic　servant；　the　fawning　monster　who　would　bring　her　whatever　she　asked。；　but　bring　it；　perhaps；　in　unwele　shape。
　　　　She　had　no　interest　in　me　that　evening；　the　jinn　rumbled　below　us　uncalled；　she　lived　apart　in　a　little　world；　within　a　little　world；　the　innermost　of　a　system　of　concentric　spheres；　like　the　ivory　balls　laboriously　carved　in　China；　a　little　problem　troubling　her　mind　…　little；　as　she　saw　it；　in　abstract　terms　and　symbols。　She　was　wondering　dispassionately　and　leagues　distant　from　reality；　whom　she　should　marry。　Thus　strategists　hesitate　over　the　map；　the　few　pins　and　lines　of　coloured　chalk；　contemplating　a　change　in　the　pins　and　lines；　a　matter　of　inches；　which　outside　the　room；　out　of　sight　of　the　studious　officers；　may　engulf　past；　present；　and　future　in　ruin　or　life。　She　was　a　symbol　to　herself　then；　lacking　the　life　of　both　child　and　women；　victory　and　defeat　were　changes　of　pin　and　line；　she　knew　nothing　of　war。
　　　　'If　only　one　lived　abroad；'　she　thought；　'where　these　things　are　arranged　between　parents　and　lawyers。'
　　　　To　be　married；　soon　and　splendidly；　was　the　aim　of　all　her　friends。　If　she　looked　further　than　the　wedding；　it　was　to　see　marriage　as　the　beginning　of　individual　existence；　the　skirmish　where　one　gained　one's　spurs；　from　which　one　set　out　on　the　true　quests　of　life。
　　　　She　outshone　by　far　all　the　girls　of　her　age；　but　she　knew　that；　in　that　little　world　within　a　world　which　she　inhabited；　there　were　certain　grave　disabilities　from　which　she　suffered。　On　the　sofas　against　the　wall　where　the　old　people　counted　up　the　points；　there　were　things　against　her。　There　was　the　scandal　of　her　father；　that　slight；　inherited　stain　upon　her　brightness　that　seemed　deepened　by　something　in　her　own　way　of　life　…　waywardness　and　wilfulness；　a　less　disciplined　habit　than　most　of　her　contemporaries；　but　for　that；　who　knows？。。。
　　　　One　subject　eclipsed　all　others　in　importance　for　the　ladies　along　the　wall；　who　would　the　young　princes　marry？　They　could　not　hope　for　purer　lineage　or　a　more　gracious　presence　than　Julia's；　but　there　was　this　faint　shadow　on　her　that　unfitted　her　for　the　highest　honours；　there　was　also　her　religion。
　　　　Nothing　could　have　been　further　from　Julia's　ambitions　than　a　royal　marriage。　She　knew；　or　thought　she　knew；　what　she　wanted　and　it　was　not　that。　But　wherever　she　turned；　it　seemed；　her　religion　stood　as　a　barrier　between　her　and　her　natural　goal。
　　　　As　it　seemed　to　her；　the　thing　was　a　dead　loss。　If　she　apostatized　now；　having　been　brought　up　in　the　Church；　she　would　go　to　hell；　while　the　Protestant　girls　of　her　acquaintance；　schooled　in　happy　ignorance；　could　marry　eldest　sons；　live　at　peace　with　their　world；　and　get　to　heaven　before　her。　There　could　be　no　eldest　son　for　her；　and　younger　sons　were　indelicate　things；　necessary；　but　not　to　be　much　spoken　of。　Younger　sons　had　none　of　the　privileges　of　obscurity；　it　was　their　plain　duty　to　remain　hidden　until　some　disaster　perchance　promoted　them　to　their　brother's　places；　and；　since　this　was　their　function；　it　was　desirable　that　they　should　keep　themselves　wholly　suitable　for　succession。　Perhaps　in　a　family　of　three　or　four　boys；　a　Catholic　might　get　the　youngest　without　opposition。　There　were　of　course　the　Catholics　themselves；　but　these　came　seldom　into　the　little　world　Julia　had　made