dk.coldfire-第19部分

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red　about　them；　as　if　they　were　his　own　kids。〃　She　leaned　back　in　her　chair　and　shook　her　head　remembering。　〃He　gave　so　much　to　them；　wanted　so　much　to　make　their　lives　better；　and　all　but　the　worst…case　misfits　responded　to　him。　
　He　had　a　rapport　with　his　students　that　other　teachers　would　sell　their　souls　for；　yet　he　didn't　have　to　surrender　a　proper　student…teacher　relationship　to　get　it。　
　So　many　of　them　try　to　be　pals　with　their　students；　you　see；　and　that　never　really　works。〃　
　〃Why　did　he　quit　teaching？〃　Viola　hesitated；　smile　fading。　〃Partly；　it　was　the　lottery。〃　
　〃What　lottery？〃　〃You　don't　know　about　that？〃　Holly　frowned　and　shook　her　head。　
　Viola　said；　〃He　won　six　million　dollars　in　January。〃　
　〃Holy　smoke！〃　〃The　first　time　he　ever　bought　a　ticket。〃　
　Allowing　her　initial　surprise　to　metamorphose　into　a　look　of　worry；　Holly　said；　〃Oh；　God；　now　he's　going　to　think　I　only　came　around　because　he's　suddenly　rich。〃　
　〃No；　no；〃　Viola　hastened　to　assure　her。　〃Jim　would　never　think　the　worst　of　anyone。〃　
　〃I've　done　well　myself；〃　Holly　lied。　〃I　don't　need　his　money；　I　wouldn't　take　it　if　he　tried　to　give　it　to　me。　My　adoptive　parents　are　doctors；　not　wealthy　but　well…to…do；　and　I'm　an　attorney　with　a　nice　practice。〃　
　Okay；　okay；　you　really　don't　want　his　money；　Holly　thought　with　self　disgust　as　caustic　as　acid；　but　you're　still　a　mean　little　lying　bitch　with　a　frightening　talent　for　invented　detail；　and　you'll　spend　eternity　standing　hip…deep　in　dung；　polishing　Satan's　boots。　
　Her　mood　changing；　Viola　pushed　her　chair　back　from　the　table；　got　up；　and　stepped　to　the　edge　of　the　patio。　She　plucked　a　weed　from　a　large　terra…cotta　pot　full　of　begonias；　baby's　breath；　and　copper…yellow　marigolds。　Absentmindedly　rolling　the　slender　weed　into　a　ball　between　the　thumb　and　forefinger　of　her　right　hand；　she　stared　thoughtfully　out　at　the　park…like　grounds。　
　The　woman　was　silent　for　a　long　time。　
　Holly　worried　that　she　had　said　something　wrong；　unwittingly　revealing　her　duplicity。　Second　by　second；　she　became　more　nervous；　and　she　found　herself　wanting　to　blurt　out　an　apology　for　all　the　lies　she'd　told。　
　Squirrels　capered　on　the　grass。　A　butterfly　swooped　under　the　patio　cover；　perched　on　the　edge　of　the　lemonade　pitcher　for　a　moment；　then　flew　away。　
　Finally；　with　a　tremor　in　her　voice　that　was　real　this　time；　Holly　said；　〃Mrs。　Moreno？　Is　something　wrong？〃　Viola　flicked　the　balled…up　weed　out　onto　the　grass。　〃I'm　just　having　trouble　deciding　how　to　put　this。〃　
　〃Put　what？〃　Holly　asked　nervously。　
　Turning　to　her　again；　approaching　the　table；　Viola　said；　〃You　asked　me　why　Jim。　。　。　why　your　brother　quit　teaching。　I　said　it　was　because　he　won　the　lottery；　but　that　really　isn't　true。　If　he'd　still　loved　teaching　as　much　as　he　did　a　few　years　ago　or　even　one　year　ago；　he　would've　kept　working　even　if　he'd　won　a　hundred　million。〃　
　Holly　almost　breathed　a　sigh　of　relief　that　her　cover　had　not　been　penetrated。　〃What　soured　him　on　it？〃　〃He　lost　a　student。〃　
　〃Lost？〃　〃An　eighth…grader　named　Larry　Kakonis。　A　very　bright　boy　with　a　good　heart…but　disturbed。　From　a　troubled　family。　His　father　beat　his　mother；　had　been　beating　her　as　long　as　Larry　could　remember；　and　Larry　felt　as　if　he　should　be　able　to　stop　it；　but　he　couldn't。　He　felt　responsible；　though　he　shouldn't　have。　That　was　the　kind　of　kid　he　was；　a　real　strong　sense　of　responsibility。〃　
　Viola　picked　up　her　glass　of　lemonade；　returned　to　the　edge　of　the　patio；　and　stared　out　at　the　greensward　again。　She　was　silent　once　more。　
　Holly　waited。　
　Eventually　the　woman　said；　〃The　mother　was　a　co…dependent　type；　a　victim　of　the　father　but　a　collaborator　in　her　own　victimization。　As　troubled　in　her　own　way　as　the　father。　Larry　couldn't　reconcile　his　love　for　his　mother　and　his　respect　for　her　with　his　growing　understanding　that；　on　some　level；　she　liked　and　needed　to　be　beaten。〃　
　Suddenly　Holly　knew　where　this　was　going；　and　she　did　not　want　to　hear　the　rest　of　it。　However；　she　had　no　choice　but　to　listen。　
　〃Jim　had　worked　so　hard　with　the　boy。　I　don't　mean　just　on　his　English　lessons；　not　just　academically。　Lary　had　opened　up　to　him　in　a　way　he'd　never　been　able　to　open　to　anyone　else；　and　Jim　had　been　counseling　him　with　the　help　of　Dr。　Lansing；　a　psychologist　who　works　part…time　for　the　school　district。　Larry　seemed　to　be　ing　around；　struggling　to　understand　his　mother　and　himself　and　to　some　extent　succeeding。　Then　one　night；　May　fifteenth　of　last　yearover　fifteen　months　ago；　though　it's　hard　to　believe　it's　been　that　long…Larry　Kakonis　took　a　gun　from　his　father's　collection；　loaded　it；　put　the　barrel　in　his　mouth。　。　。　and　fired　one　bullet　up　into　his　brain。〃　
　Holly　flinched　as　if　struck。　In　fact　she　had　been　struck；　though　the　blows　…two　of　them…were　not　physical。　She　was　jolted；　first；　by　the　thought　of　a　thirteen…year…old　mitting　suicide　when　the　best　of　life　lay　ahead　of　him。　A　small　problem　could　seem　like　a　large　one　at　that　age；　and　a　genuinely　serious　problem　could　seem　catastrophic　and　hopeless。　Holly　felt　a　pang　of　grief　for　Larry　Kakonis；　and　an　undirected　anger　because　the　kid　had　not　been　given　time　enough　to　learn　that　all　horrors　can　be　dealt　with　and　that；　on　balance；　life　offered　far　more　joy　than　despair。　But　she　was　equally　rattled　by　the　date　on　which　the　boy　had　killed　himself：　May　15。　
　One　year　later；　this　past　May　15；　Jim　Ironheart　had　performed　his　first　miraculous　rescue。　Sam　and　Emily　Newsome。　Atlanta；　Georgia。　Saved　from　murder　at　the　hands　of　a　sociopathic　holdup　man　named　Norman　Rink。　
　Holly　could　sit　still　no　longer。　She　got　up　and　joined　Viola　at　the　edge　of　the　patio。　They　watched　the　squirrels。　
　〃Jim　blamed　himself；〃　Viola　said。　
　〃For　Lary　Kakonis？　But　he　wasn't　responsible。〃　
　〃He　blamed　himself　anyway。　That's　how　he　is。　But　his　reaction　seemed　excessive；　even　for　Jim。　After　Larry's　death；　he　lost　interest　in　teaching。　He　stopped　believing　he　could　make　a　difference。　He'd　had　so　many　successes；　more　than　any　teacher　I've　ever　known；　but　that　one　failure　was　too　much　for　him。〃　
　Holly　remembered　the　boldness　with　which　Ironheart　had　scooped　Billy　Jenkins　out　of　the　path　of　the　hurtling　pickup　truck。　That　certainly　had　not　been　a　failure。　
　〃He　just　sort　of　spiraled　down　into　gloom；〃　Viola　said；　〃couldn't　pull　himself　out　of　it。〃　
　The　man　Holly　had　met　in　Portland　had　not　seemed　depressive。　
　Mysterious；　yes；　and　self　contained。　But　he'd　had　a　good　sense　of　humor；　and　he'd　been　quick　to　smile。　
　Viola　took　a　sip　of　her　lemonade。　〃Funny；　it　tastes　too　sour　now。〃　
　She　set　the　glass　down　on　the　concrete　near　her　feet　and　wiped　her　damp　hand　on　her　slacks。　She　started　to　speak　again；　hesitated；　but　finally　said；　〃Then。　。　he　got　a　little　strange。〃　
　〃Strange？　In　what　way？〃　〃Withdrawn。　Quiet。　He　started　taking　martial…arts　training。　Tae　Kwa　Do。　Lots　of　people　are　interested　in　that　sort　of　thing；　I　guess；　but　it　seemed　so　out　of　character　for　Jim。〃　
　It　didn't　seem　out　of　character　for　the　Jim　Ironheart　that　Holly　knew。　
　Viola　said；　〃It　wasn't　casual　with　him；　either。　Every　day　after　school　he　went　for　a　lesson　at　a　place　in　Newport　Beach。　He　became　obsessive。　
　I　worried　about　him。　So　in　January；　when　he　won　the　lottery；　I　was　happy　Six　million　dollars！　That's　such　a　good　thing；　such　big　luck；　it　seemed　like　it　would　have　to　turn　his　life　around；　bring　him　out　of　his　depression。〃　
　〃But　it　didn't？〃　〃No。　He　didn't　seem　all　that　surprised　or　pleased　by　it。　He　quit　t　；　moved　out　of　his　apartment　into　a　house。　。　。　and　pulled　back　even　further　from　his　friends。〃　She　turned　to　Holly　and　smiled。　It　was　the　first　smile　she　had　managed　for　a　while。　〃That's　why　I　was　so　excited　when　ya　told　me　you　were　his　sister；　a　sister　he　doesn't　even　know　he　has。　maybe　you　can　do　for　him　what　winning　six　million　dollars　couldn't　The　guilt　over　her　deception　suffused　Holly　again；　bringing　a　hot　blush　to　her　face。　She　hoped　Viola　would　mistake　it　for　a　blush　of　pleasure　and　excitement。　〃It　would　be　wonderful　if　I　could。〃　
　〃You　can；　I'm　sure。　He's　alone；　or　feels　that　he　is。　That's　part　of　his　problem。　With　a　sister；　he　won't　be　alone　any　more。　Go　see　him　today　right　now。〃　
　Holly　shook　her　head。　〃Soon。　But　not　yet。　I　need　to。　。　。　build　my　confidence。　You　won't　tell　him　about　me；　will　you？〃　〃Of　course　not；　dear。　You　should　have　all　the　fun　of　telling　him；　an　what　a　wonderful　moment　that'll　be。〃　
　Holly's　smile　felt　like　a　pair　of　rigid　plastic　lips　glued　to　her　face；　as　fake　as　part　of　a　Halloween　costume。　
　A　few　minutes　later；　at　the　front　door；　as　Holly　was　leaving；　Viola　put　her　hand　on　her　arm　and　said；　〃I　don't　want　to　give　you　the　wrong　idea。it　won't　be　easy　lifting　his　spirits；　getting　him　back　on　track。　As　long　as　I've　known　Jim；　I've　felt　there's　a　sadness　deep　down　in　him；　like　a　stain　that　won't　e　out；　which　isn't　such　a　surprise；　really；　when　you　consider　what　happened　to　his　parents…his　being　orphaned　when　he　was　only　ten　all　of　that。〃　
　Holly　nodded。　〃Thanks。　You've　been　a　real　help。〃　
　Viola　impulsively　hugged　her；　planted　a　kiss　on　her　cheek；　and　said；　I　want　to　have　both　you　and　Jim　to　dinner　as　soon　as　possible。　
　Homems　green…corn　tamales；　black　beans；　and　jalapeno　rice　so　hot　it'll　melt　ya　dental　fillings！〃　Holly　was　simultaneously　pleased　and　dismayed：　pleased　to　have　met　this　woman；　who　so　quickly　seemed　to　be　a　favorite　aunt　of　long　acquaintance　dismayed　because　she　had　met　her　and　been　accepted　by　her　under　false　pretenses。　
　All　the　way　back　to　her　rental　car；　Holly　fiercely　berated　herself　under　her　breath。　She　was　at　no　loss　for　ugly　words　and　clever　damning　phrases。　
　Twelve　years　in　newsrooms；　in　the　pany　of　reporters；　had　acquainted　her　with　enough　obscene　language　to　insure　her　the　trophy　in　a　cursing　contest　with　even　the　most　foul…mouthed　victim　of　Tourette's　syndrome。　
　The　Yellow　Pages　listed　only　one　Tae　Kwon　Do　school　in　Newport　beach。　It　was　in　a　shopping　center　off　Newport　Boulevard；　between　a　custom　window…covering　store　and　a　bakery。　
　The　place　was　called　Dojo；　the　Japanese　word　for　a　martial…arts　practice　ball；　which　was　like　naming　a　restaurant　〃Restaurant〃　or　a　dress　shop　〃Dress　Shop。〃　Holly　was　surprised　by　the　generic　name；　becaus